january babies are now riggling,giggling & crawling to keep us on our toes

[bodenaddict]

hi

Tree- whats up with the school ???

Pat, Gumps and Dog (and any other sentimentals) I recorded DD and DS laughing together on my phone the other day and DD absolutely loves listening to it - it also makes me weep and settles DS a treat. I'm going to make a proper one to put on DH's itunes. Would recommend it to add to the list of soppy things to reminiss with in years to come!

Pat yes you are a wierdo with the poo - but then I'm certain my DH would wholeheartedly agree with you! Will put the velveteen rabbit on my next library reservation, thank you, any other suggestions gratefully received, via MN or amazon

This was today. Copied and pasted from the newbies starting school thread.

Today - she was crying by the time we got in the car. Hysterical by parking.

I had to pull her along the pavement. SHe threaded her fingers through my belt buckles so I couldn't be seperated. We lined up and I told the teacher/TA/someone ot other I got here by promising I would go in cloakroom with her. She was ok about it, but I think I felt the eyes rolling in the others. Head in particular.
When it was time to hang up coat she lost ot and hung onto the baby sling. The head took her at this point. SHe peeled/dragged/manhandled her and carried her away. DD had both arms reaching back to me screaming.

Arse. I was frank with the next memeber of staff I saw. Said she hated it, needed more help and a few other issues. Nothing mega but wnough to make me uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable indeed.

Slunk off and took dd2 to bed to shut out the wory. So nothing bad or out of the ordinary. From the child who has never had a tantrum and is very reasonable and sensible, this is mega!

news- what's up with school? Is it too regimented for her?

pat yes- I looked at Beatrix potter... and there seemed a ridiculous number of words! We have Moomins read in half-chapter lengths, and some nice books from the library atm- Milo Armadillo, Moon Rabbit, Lost and Found and lots of Shirley Hughes' Alfie stories. DD always wants something short and sweet at bedtime (so shattered after nursery) so we do our best reading at other times of the day...

Oh god.. x-post. Oh tree, that sounds so hard...

when is she 5?

News I don't know how you are coping. That sounds awful, I would be beside myself. When she is home and calm can she identify what specifically she doesn't like about it? Do you think it would be worth asking to see her teacher afterschool sometime so you could discuss what happens when you aren't there? Might put your mind at rest?

Week on Sat

I looked at a nursery today for DS and his cousin to start at in Jan 2 days a week. It was lovely, after looking at so many I hated it was so nice to see one that felt right. Anyone with nursery experience care to advise me on what sort of things I need to know that I won't have thought of already?

Lenni - All I have heard so far is the 'she'll be fine, she's fine when you go' What she tells me is that she isn't crying but is missing home and H and cuddles. I am having a bit of a loss of confidence in them at the mo. They are so hard and frosty.

We have a parents evening soon so if she isn't settling by then then I will raise some issues and take more action. Its only 5 days in to her term

x-posts Lenni. No advice really, except look for low staff turn over and look for them actively caring for children. Holding, stroking, cuddling and noticing. I think having some older staff or mothers is a bonus. Though obviously young childless ones can be mega too.

I have had that thought Dog. I was half tempted to start ringing other schools today!

I'll give it a good 2 weeks before properly worrying. I'm panicking now, but won't act on that.

I think she is fine when I am gone, but sad.

They were all sat on the floor except in the pre-school where they were in little chairs/tables doing playdough. The babies were painting in high chairs stripped down to nappies, they could only have been 10mo! In the toddler room the 3 toddlers were all sat on the member of staff's lap having cuddles. It was all lovely. They only have 6 children in a room until 2yo and then only 8. And they have lots of different spaces that they can use when they want. All were friendly and not bothered by me being there. I left DS asleep in his car seat in the baby room while I looked around and was gone about 30 mins, when I got back the lady in the baby room said he woke up pretty much as soon as I left. When I came back he was crawling around with the other babies playing and pulling himself up on her for cuddles. He looked pretty contented and not at all bothered by being left. Staff had been there 4 years+ in the most part with 2 or 3 younger staff who had joined in the last couple of years. All qualified though. Such a big decision though isn't it?

News - I would also give it more time. Perhaps longer than 2 weeks even, that isn't all that long really, 10 days of school. If she isn't happy at half term then I think that would be the time to consider whether it is the right place. I think you need to work with them as much as possible, when they say she is fine ask what sort of things she has been doing etc. to draw more out of them. Explain that she is saying at home that she is sad and you are worried about her as a result. It might also be worth explaining that it has been a difficult few months for you all with H and everything with DH so J might be letting go of some of that anxiety too. They should respond to that, don't let them shrug you off or make you feel like you are being overprotective - you aren't. You could ask if they have had other children struggle to settle and what happened - how long did it take, what sort of things were done to help etc.

Sounds very good!

Thats good advice Lenni. I can't explain why I don't feel reassured by them. Maybe because they talk in platitudes, but give no real information. It's like the school day is a secret and none of my business.

I meant I would start asking for a meeting and talking to the staff more formally about it in 2 weeks. I would give till half term I think, if it was a 'move school' job. Wouldn't want her to be settled into being sad though, so if its a total disaster I can look into it sooner.

Thanks all.

Good luck with yout choice Lenni.

Night all

Lenni- sounds v similar to dd's old nursery... and she was v v happy there. Oh- ask about television- you'd be amazed, really, at some nurseries!

tree- I know what you mean about the secrets of school- it seems v opaque doesnt it?
If she were younger, I would say demand part time only- they cant do anything about it if she isn't 5... but I have no idea how you're managing, I could certainly not leave my dd if she were like that I'm so sorry this is so hard for you all.
Has DD1 ever been to nursery at all... or is this her first time away from you? Though she must have surely, as you were workign until dd2 weren't you?

I feel that you feel like that News - it is very much your business. After all they are filling your DD's precious days, which you have so well filled for 4 years. Don't let them underate that - giving over to others a portion of the care and upbringing of your child is a VERY big thing. You wouldn't be happy leaving her with your own mother if you didn't get some feedback on what she did/how she was would you? YANBU to expect them to reassure you and tell you about J's day. I think the secret might be in how you word your questions - perhaps ask things like: What did J do this morning? Have you noticed her playing well with anyone in particular - perhaps I could set up a play date to help her settle? etc etc... As Dog mentioned TAs are often the ones to grill, they notice emotions more than teachers do and tend to be more in tune with parents as they are (sweeping generalisation) frequently mothers of school age oung children themselves.

bought this

just me to find something for now!

morning all! madly trying to catch up on all the posts. did rapid scanning and not sure caught up at all.

sparkle love the outfit you bought for your LO!

it is a nice sunny day here today. my LO was born 13th Jan, so he is over 8 months old now. just started crawling, no standing up yet!

DS1 started year 1 this term! definitely not a baby anymore!

news i agree with lenni it is very much ur business. and yes, asking the right questions is the key.

oh thats a shame tree hopefully it wil get better

good choice sparkle