Would have replied earlier but mumsnet was being weird yesterday!!!
Hi Knitter,
George sounds such a cutie!
Ok, will try to explain as briefly as possible. Last year I had an absess appear on my precious ass. It started off as an ordinary spot, but just more painful... 6 hours later it was the size of 3 tennis balls and filling up fast. I was for the first time in my life, carted off in the back of an ambulance, enjoying my much missed gas and air and given emergency surgery to remove it before it overwhelmed my body or popped. They removed most of my ass cheek in the process which I had to grow back. They tested me for diabetes alot and then later sent me home with a district nurse to help dress my missing ass.
Well this was a shock I can tell you. Am 32, and suddenly I have no ass to sit down on. Doctors said it was bad luck, or maybe an ingrowing hair. I have no hair on my ass I replied. I love my ass, Where IS MY ASS?? There is a 5cm deep, 7cm long PIT where my ass should be!!! What the HELL!!
A week later I got another absess. Just as fast. Another op. At least this time I know whats going on. Yet more ass removed. A few weeks later another on my inner thigh. I went loopy the moment a spot appeared there and forced an emergency doctor to give me antibiotics to squash it.. and I was lucky. There was no way anyone was removing my thigh as well as my ass.
I have had 8 in total now. Some have had more ops, the others I managed to fight off in time. I am constantly tired and migrainey, and I am tired of growing back more and more ass. I think possibly am on my 3rd new ass now. This is getting insane. Docs are running lots of tests on me now, finally, to try and work out why my body is rebelling against me. Probably my immune system or something. But yeah, been a bit of a shock! I have emergency antib's in my cupboard now. So everytime I get a strange spot I take them. So hopefully no more operations. Which is great.
There is nothing really really wrong with me. Just something odd. But whats new there??
Can joke about it now. So ass jokes are welcome!