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October 2007- These Little Piggies started throwing tantrums

863 replies

FloriaTosca · 02/09/2009 07:47

The lastest thread for the fabulous women who were due their babies in the October of the Chinese year of the pig and who now have terrible tantrums and delightful cuddles in equal measure from their almost 2 year olds. New and old members welcome to drop in for a chat anytime....

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
alicet · 11/01/2010 22:29

Muppet your last post comparing Ollie and Henry could have been me writing about Sam and Adam! Adam is so the cheeky try it on boy whereas Sam has (usually) listened to what we say and acted on it literally. Adam also can be persuaded to do lots by letting him help - he is really pleased with himself when you tell him how helpful he is being!

WWAJC pmsl at Anya's definition of teamwork!

Needcoffee sorry but your tales of Shannons exploits make me laugh! Hope you manage to get away on Friday and also that you get some quality time with Richie soon...

LLL sam saying he wants to marry you is super cute!

Well I've been on call today - not that busy in the morning but been manic this pm! Some good operating though! I have a day 'off' tomorrow - well a day of teaching anyway. Be nice to have a change of scene and learn something though!

Anyway I'm off to bed in a min - pretty tired. Will be back in the next couple of days x

FloriaTosca · 12/01/2010 15:39

WWAJC; rofl at Anya singing the wonderpets song..
NC; ditto at Shannon
LLL;ditto your video of the boys singing and awww at Sam wanting to marry you (apparently I used to say that to both my parents

aren't they all just at a fabulous age?

Last night was pretty good going once he went down (an hour late)...he slept through to 3.30, came through to me, asked for milk and I said "Not now.In the morning." we had variations on the conversation for 45mins but he finally fell asleep without getting upset and woke at 6.00 saying "morning Mummy. Milk now please". Nowhere near as bad as I expected.

OP posts:
LisaLessLumpy · 12/01/2010 18:26

That's good news Floria, lets hope each night is a little better

WhiteWineAndJaffaCakes · 12/01/2010 18:44

NC - sort of stalemate with dh at the moment - we're keeping out of each other's way, which kind of keeps the peace but doesn't help anything at all. I'm biting my tongue for another week or so - I've arranged to do his other dd's tax return this month and I don't want to make things awkward for her. Well done on getting your assignments finished. at Shannon saying you're called mummy not Julie.

Lisa - awww at Sam - so cute.

Alice - glad your ops went well!

FT - so glad Alex was ok about no millk - sounds like you have cracked it .

I treated myself to some new perfume (Flower by Kenzo) last week - I've been looking for a change of one for ages. I bought a 100ml bottle ( - should keep me going for a bit) off eBay for about £40 - very good value as it was eau de parfum not eau de toilette (which is what I always get). It arrived yesterday morning, I put one spray on my wrist, all very nice. I can STILL smell it! It's now making me feel sick! I know parfum is longer lasting than eau de toilette but this is ridiculous - no amount of washing/showering seems to be getting rid of it. Needless to say it is going back on eBay and I shall get the usual weaker version in future!

NeedCoffee · 12/01/2010 20:44

Muppet-lol at Henry being a law unto himsef, I think its a bit unfair that people tend to have one well behaved children and one stubborn do what I want one, and I have got 2 of the latter! Shannon was meant to be my quiet one. If I ever have another-I'm so due a chilled one

WWAJC-Well at least its peaceful for the time being, give you chance to summon the energy to deal with things when it happens. I'm like that with DKNY green apple perfume, I love the smell of it, but it lingers and after a few hours I can't stand it, makes me feel very sick.

Alice-hope you've had a nice chilled out day

LLL-awww thats so cute of Sam, love there little ways

FT-hoping things continue to improve with Alex, he may start sleeping more too!

Anyone heard from Dal? Hope things are okay with her, she's usually on more.

Am sat after trying to re-create a salon treatment-like this one-ff to the middle, its long. So using the Boots sanctuary body trim wrap and also got one of these suits to try and help. There are only enough wraps to go round my stomach so got them on at the moment and i can't bloody breathe! ooh nearly time to take it off soon

alicet · 12/01/2010 20:58

hello all!

floria great news on operation no boobies! All sounds like its working well even if you are not getting masses of rest yet. Sending you lots of 'I am strong and can resist the love of my life!' vibes!!!!

Needcoffee I had a lot of text chat with Dal yesterday about her fil. She sounds OK and I know she has been reading messages (hello lovely if you are there Dal! ) but she might be a bit preoccupied. Her fil was doing OK last I heard but haven't heard from her today....

WWAJC sorry to hear things with your dh are so crap. Sending you lots of huge hugs and a jumbo packet of jaffa cakes washed down with a bottle of white wine xxx

I have had a great day of teaching. learned loads and had a good catch up with other surgical trainees in the north east that I don't see that often so a good day all told! Off to watch trash on sky plus now and drinking the white wine I promised WWAJC!

strawberrylace · 12/01/2010 21:22

hello everyone
sorry, one of those days when i can't remember what anyone said so apols for leaving anyone out

FT - hope the no boobies thing is going well
NC - hope you can still breathe!
WWAJC - sorry the perfume treat didn't quite work the way you'd planned
Babyblue - DS is ok in the supermarket as long as I have plenty of snacks! (he's fine most places if snacks are on offer)
Alicet - glad you enjoyed the training/teaching day
Muppet/Dal/Inzi/LLL - hello, hope you're ok

Am so very tired tonight - so we had to have pizza for tea. Very emotional day at work - finding it difficult to cope and spend most of the time thinking my best is just not good enough. I'd love to be brave enough to consider a career change, but not sure what I could actually do! Any ideas??

DS is just doing a puzzle - he loves puzzles so much - and then I think we will go to bed & read the Gruffalo (did anyone see the animated version at Xmas? it was great). He has dropped his daytime naps now, but its still a bit of a struggle to get him upstairs. It's always "mummy's bed time too" - tho at least this way I get to snuggle up in the warm & DH can play Call of Duty....

Love to you all!

alicet · 12/01/2010 21:35

hello strawberry! We loved the gruffalo too - have it on sky plus and boys ask for it constantly! Tell me a bit more about what you do workwise / qualifications / interests etc and I'll do some free life coaching!

alicet · 12/01/2010 21:40

strawberry also wanted to say thatdespite loving my job I have gone through a few times of struggling with the work life balance since I've gone part time after having the boys. very hard to give the same level of dedication I did before and as a consequence feel like I am not doing as good a job as I used to which makes me feel a bit crap sometimes. Since I talked to people at work its actually improved loads - my confidence is a lot higher which helps how much I enjoy things. And i ahve accepted that things will never be the same as my life has changed completely but that there is no reason I can't be as good at my job. Some compromises definately in working part time (which i can't remember if you do - sorry!) but I have realised i am committed as I have ever been when I am there and have been able to move forward...

Sorry for waffling- i am a bit 'possed'!!!

alicet · 12/01/2010 21:40

tipsy rather than possed really but have the verbal diarrhoea that goes along with that!!!

FloriaTosca · 12/01/2010 21:57

WWaJC; I am sorry things have not improved between you and your (D)H at least you are keeping the peace for the moment. Do you know what action you are going to take when you decide to make the split?
Ooops with the eau de parfum! Good price though!

Alice; you haven't been around much since the big move...how are settling in? are the neighbours nice?

LLL; I think it is your anniversary tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

Inzi; how are you feeling? Are you coping ok?and your parents? and is the ms improving at all?

Muppet; How is Tobias doing? Is he another Ollie? or a Henry? or completely different to both? Following you on fB (not stalking, honest )you seem to be coping brilliantly with 3. Did your mil ever explain herself about abandoning you after just 3 days?

Dal; less than 8 weeks to go now before (perhaps)Miles makes his appearance .I'm so excited for you..

Well it is nearly 10pm ..I'm off to bed early because I have a feeling that his lordship might try to retake the ground he has lost over the last few days ... keep your fingers crossed for me.

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alicet · 12/01/2010 22:01

LLL sending you lots of love and support too xxx

Floria we're really happy and settled thanks! neighbours lovely especially one couple and their 3 year old son. totally on the same wave length (see each other frequently for wine and food! ) and boys get on really well with their son who is in between my 2. So all good!

Good luck tonight honey - hope Alex keeps up the good work x

NeedCoffee · 12/01/2010 22:23

Wow can't keep up tonight.

Strawberry-so sorry to hear you're having a rubbish time, not really sure what to suggest-definately sounds as though something needs to change-is it possible you can change something within your job?

Can still breathe, got it round my bum and thighs now

Alice-you do make me chuckle when you're possed, can't wait to get possed at weekend, hardly had a drink over christmas, so its going to be a bit of a blow out!

FT-hope that you sleep well and get better soon

Dalrymps · 12/01/2010 22:59

Evening ladies

Alicet let me know you were asking about me so I thought i'd pop in and update you all.

Fil is OK, well, he's up and down, was looking well last time we saw him and his pain was mostly under control but then we saw him today and he was a bit thinner and had a lot of pian last night till they got it under conrtol .

Alice has been an absolute angel and is helping us out a lot, she has been chasing things up and filling us in and generally putting our minds at rest. I cannot thank her enough, she is a total superstar

Hopeing for further updates on fil tomorrow, they thought it was one thing but now not so sure so still waiting for a more definate answer.

Strawberry - Sorry you're having such a stressful time at work, hope it eases up a bit soon or you find something less stressful to do... Having trouble thinking of a non stressful job right now will come back to you on that one!

We saw the animated gruffalo at xmas, was great, we recorded it for Dylan cause he loves the book

WWAJC - Sorry your perfume was so, erm smelly! I totally understand what you mean, it just gets too much after a while and makes you feel sickly. Hope you manage to get a nice bottle of the weaker version.

Sorry things are not exaclty plain sailing with your dh, hope the tension breaks soon and you can work out a way to move on with teh 'plan'. I presume this is the most difficult bit, once you're seperated and all the dust has settled hopefully you'll all be a lot happier.

Alice - I know I've already spoken to you![grin but I keep meaning to say Happy Belated Anniversary! Oh and glad you had a nice day and are now having an even nicer frink of wine . I just had a tiny sip of dh's wine, can't wait to have a proper drink again!

NC - Salon treatment sounds fab! You totally deserve to be pampered after how busy you've been and still are atm. Hope you get awayat the weekend weather permitting and have a great time!

You asked about whether we have a sitter for when I give birth. Well, MIL is on standby, Dylan is really close to her and FIL and they just live on the next street. She says if it's through the night she'll just come and sleep here or if durin the day we can just drop him there, I'm totally happy with her (and fil) watching him, he'll be spoilt rotten . I don't have much of a birth plan, have discussed whether to have c-section with consultant due to prev 3rd degree tear but we agreed I healed well so can go for vaginal delivery again eek! That is what I want but still have the natural nervousness about doing it all agian iykwim.

I have to give birth at Wansbeck due to prev tear so my main worry is getting there on time cause lat time the painful part of my labour was just under 5 hrs and it's an hour away . Popped in to Asda on the way back from visting fil today and got a lovely little outfit for Miles, some socks also , tbh we have tonnes of clothes for him but wanted him to have something new for him too..

Haven't heard from my parents since before xmas, around the start of december when they sent me another stupid parcel, think I mentioned it at the time... It contained 2 cards full of emotinal abuse so I ignored it. I got an email from my dad a while later sbruptly asking if I got the parcel but I ignored that too. Hard to do but neccesary as it's just my mum pulling his strings and trying to get attention any way she can

Floria - So glad operation no boobies is progressing so well. Sounds like it's definately going in the right direction, just up to you to stay firm I think, you're doing great . I want to say, like I said to choc that you have done amazingly to bf for this long and I think it's just wonderful.

LLL - Awww at Sam wanting to marry you, did your heart just elt completely on the spot?! I think I might of cried but I am full of hormones atm.

BabyBlue - Sorry Sofias been giving you a hard time. Dylan sometimes plays up at the supermarket, we take an apple with us for him to munch on now. It seems to occupy him till he chucks it when he's had enough. Before that he kept demanding everything we put in the trolly and getting stroppy when he couldn't have it! Strange as it's taken us an absolute age to get him interested in food and now he wants it when we go shopping

Muppet - PMSL at Henry with his sunglasses on and Toby's light being on etc... I have a strong feeling I have all this to come when Miles turns up!

Glad you seem to have found a home for Stan, hope they get along well and he can join the new family with no probs.

Inzi - How's the MS honey? You have my sympathy in buckets. Mine has been worse this tiem than last time (although by the sounds of it still nowhere near as bad as you had it with Jane) and it made me thoroughly miserable, even though I knew it was all for a good cause. Not a lot helped this time but I just had to eat whatever I could no matter what it was (which wasn't a lot tbh). Fingers and toes crossed for you that it doesn't last too long and you're positively blooing before you know it.

Got some supplies for my labour bag today, breastpads and maternity pads, very glam! Makes it all seem more real though. Just need to find an excellent deal on newborn nappies now and stock up!

Well, I hope I haven't missed anyone out but if I have, hi!

Will try and get on more often...

chocolatestar · 13/01/2010 07:07

Morning all! I am having a rare morning where Dareh has not woken up which means I can sneak on here quickly!!

Floria how was last night? I was really surprsied at how Dareh seemed to understand when I said milk was for certain times. I didn't expect that when I said to him that now he was in his big boy bed there would be no more boo boo he would get that but he only asked once. The other day he did ask when I came home - well he just looked at me and said 'Where's my boo boo?' and I said that it had finished and he hasn't asked since. I thought he would put up more of a fight actually! The worst one to get rid of was the over night - he did fight over that one so I hope it is going well for you!

Sorry things are hard at work Strawberry - being a working mum is not easy. What would you love to do if you could do anything?

Hurrah to Alice for being a bit possed!!

NC just had a look at that link - hope no one came to the door! How was it? Any good?

Dalry - can't believe you are about to have another LO! You are the first person I remember speaking to on here all those years ago when we were pregnant with the piggie brood. Sorry you are still getting hassle from your parents. It's such a shame that they can't just respect your wishes. Who knows - if they actually did that then over time you might have a chance of rebuilding the relationship. I hope your FIL has a better day today.

LLL - that is so cute! I love the things that they come out with. Sadly Dareh's fave thing to say at the moment is 'Mummy get up! Daddy stay in bed!' Why????

Muppet - lol at Henry! Dareh is just as stubborn. He always finds a way round things.

Babyblue - sorry you are having a hard time with Sofia. They always seem to be at their most dramatic when you are in public don't they. I try to remember that anyone out there who has a LO knows what it is like and so is not judging you and people who don't have kids have no clue what you are dealing with!

WW&JC hope you don't still smell! I don't have a perfume right now. Once we are a bit better of financially I would like to have a nice one though. It is hard to find the right one though - I am always playing with them in boots and some of them are awful! I would want something light as well, and not too flowery. Something fresh I guess. I hope you find one you like.

Tles - sorry to hear about Zach's sleep. Dareh went through a stage of that - he is better now so hopefully it will pass.

Inzi how are you? I hope that you are getting on all right during this difficult time.

Ah the monkey is up - got to go! I am well btw - just madly busy with work. Working full time is so hard and my house is never clean which I hate but I can't keep up. Right got to go! Have a good day all!

NeedCoffee · 13/01/2010 10:09

Choc-Glad dareh hasn't been too bad with the stopping of bf. I hate my house being untidy too, and is a tip while I've been doing college work. Going to make a real effort to get it sorted today, it's the clutter thats doing my head in, still ont got sorted out properly after christmas, and it doesn't help that the bins haven't be collected for 4 weeks. They'd better come today. Have you thought/Could you afford a cleaner for a couple of hours a week? or is it not that bad? Body wrap was ok, makes you feel as though it has worked as it leaves your skin tingling, really messy though!

Dal-Glad you managed to ignore your parents, hopefully if you comtinue to do that, then they'll eventually get the message. That's great news about Dylan having more interest in food

Have got a massive list of things to do that I've been neglecting so better get on with them!

FloriaTosca · 13/01/2010 11:16

Cant believe I missed half a page full of posts before posting last night

Strawberry;Sorry to hear that work is tough atm. Wish I could think of the perfect solution for you but I only work p/t from home (what most would consider the ideal scenario)and still find it difficult at times.. like just about every one else in the country I keep hoping my lottery numbers will come up and all our little problems would be over... before Alex I used to say I would continue to sing/work even if I had millions but our priorities change once we become Mums don't they?

NC; Was the discomfort and inability to breathe worth it?

Alice; so glad the move brought new friends and has been so sucessful. You didnt read the least bit possed or even tipsy

Babyblue; Alex can be a nightmare when shopping too...I can't trust him out of the trolley and he objects to going in it..like everyone else I resort to bribery, there are ride on machines at the entrance to our supermarket and he gets to go on one on the way out if he has been good..I do spend most of the trip threatening "no nee-naw if you do that" though

Dal; glad you are ok and have got things together for yourself and for Miles. I hope everything goes smoothly when the time comes..understand your apprehension but most of Alexs pals mums have given birth again in hte last 9 months and they all found it a lot easier second time.

choc; I'm impressed at Darehs amenability to stopping bf... Alex certainly understood when I said mummy milk was only for certain times but it doesn't stop him nagging...he had his morning feed at 7am but has asked again 5 times since, if I say "when do you next get mummy milk?" he'll say "after dinner" but in the next breath says "mummy milk now please" . He's not fighting too hard but still wants it.
Last night was not quite as good as the previous one, he came in at 12.30 asking for milk, I gave him water and he went back to his own bed, he came back at 4.00 and nagged me for milk for 20 mins with me saying "in the morning, now go to sleep" before he fell asleep unill 5.30 and we had the same scenario until 7.00 ..I was tempted to give in at 5.30 but decided he was pushing "morning" earlier and earlier and we would end up back at 4am feeds again ... so glad I held out.

Must phone mil and arrange tonights babysitting while I teach... difficulty being her priorities are picking up and looking after the other 2 grandchildren until their Mum gets home from work at 5ish...I start teaching at 5 and have to manage Alex at the same time until she can turn up...and my Mum is still effectively snowed in so can't help....chat later..I hope.

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WhiteWineAndJaffaCakes · 13/01/2010 20:24

Wow that's a lot of chatting in 24 hours!

NC - perfume smell had finally disappeared by this morning. I have to say, it gave brilliant value for money . Pmsl at the body suit - hope it was worth the effort!

LLL - hugs, thinking of you today.

Dal -glad fil is stable at least - any news today? So exciting buying little outfits for Miles - can't wait for him to be here!

Alice - glad you enjoyed your teaching day. And surely you meant 'topsy rather than possed'? Glad you have settled in well and the neighbours are lovely.

Strawberry - sorry you're struggling with work. What are your hobbies? Anything there that you could build into a job?

FT - I am friends with a local estate agent who is looking for suitable rental properties for me - there do seem to be some about within walking distance, which is great. That way the plan is to have somewhere to go straight away. I'm expecting/hoping dh will still have Anya on the 3 days I'm at work, although I can change which 3 those are if necessary - that way she can see us the same amount of time each - it's up to him whether he wants her overnight some nights. If he flips out and decides he can't cope with a routine or with having her for 10 hours in one go then I've got a problem! But I'll cross that bridge if it happens - other single parents cope. Changing the subject, glad Alex's night wasn't too bad - good that he's not fighting it too hard.

Chocstar - lol at 'mummy get up, daddy stay in bed' - that's a classic! Anya doesn't even bother coming into our bedroom in a morning - she heads straight down the hall and rattles the gate at the top of the stairs until it wakes one of us up.

chocolatestar · 13/01/2010 20:39

NC I would LOVE a cleaner. DH is totally opposed to the idea though. We actually can't afford it right now as we are only on my wage but once we are both working then I bloody well want one. I am crap at house work but the mess gets me down so DH can clean it or suffer the cleaner I think!

Floria - the nights were hellish I have to admit - we had a fair bit of screaming. But keep at it and stay consistent. I failed when I chopped and changed my mind and gave in here and there. You will get there!

WW& JC - you certainly have a lot of change going on for you right now. I hope you are feeling alright.

My day has been mad busy as usual. Up at six, school day went - nice class, class from hell, senior class, nice class, noisey class, rehearsal for one show until 4:15 then rehearsals for another show from then until six! Now I am trying to type up a script. Making DH do the bedtime for once. Dareh's bedtime is 8 and surprise, surprise he is still up. So glad I spend all that time keeping him in a routine just for dad to come along and do what he likes! Still I am glad of a night off - I have been doing it all lately because DH has been studying for exams so I mustn't moan!

NeedCoffee · 13/01/2010 21:02

Have I missed something? LLL-you okay?

Choc-Sounds like a busy day! when I go back to work, if me and DP get a house together then we will be getting a cleaner, I've already told him
DP always does bedtime if he's here, he's usually quite good about it, doesn't do things as fast as I would but still, it saves me having to do it.
What times does everyones los go to bed/sleep? our bedtime is between @7-8pm nearest the 7pm mark if they're playing up I can help it.

WWAJC-glad there are a few properties that should be available, you know where we are if you need any help with things

Are we still going to try and do a York meet up? I can't remember what days people could do-was a Thurs good for people? The only one I can't do at the min is Fri's

chocolatestar · 13/01/2010 22:14

Ok I need some bedtime advice! Can not get Dareh to go to bed for love nor money. He has a bath, three stories then into bed. I had been doing supernany style just keep putting him back which seemed to be working but it has all fallen apart. He just is so persistant and keeps finding new reasons for getting out of bed. I need a tissue, I need a drink etc etc or just screaming. His latest thing is to ask me to get into bed and snuggle with him and he is just too bloody cute and fool that I am I fell for it! So he has only just got to sleep now and I have spend a large chunk of my night in bed next to him. Help!

NeedCoffee · 13/01/2010 22:24

awww Choc I'm sure someone will have some advice, i'm going through it with s atm too. She stood there with her bottom lip quivering, very quietly saying 'no' when I was telling her to get back to bed. I've got a gate on the door and threaten to take her toys off her, turn the light off etc but in the end, I usually have to leave her to cry for a bit then she gets into bed and goes to sleep.

Dalrymps · 13/01/2010 23:39

Evening all,

Well the news on FIL today is... he has pneumonia . Quite out of the blue really, we were thinking it was something completely different but no... He also has some kind of inflamed artery in his back which would account for some of his pain. In a way it's good news as they're now treating him with the correct combiation of antibiotics for it and hopefully he'll respond to that.

New buggy is here, it's so posh eek! I've put it together and it's just here in the lounge, can't stop looking at it imagining the 2 lo's in it

Choc - That's lovely you remember me being the first person you spoke to all that time ago makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

Sorry you've had such a hectic day. Not sure what advice to give on the sleep thing, Dylan is still in his cot and i'm dreading him being in a bed (or rather in and out and in and out of a bed).

I would think it's a case of keep returning him and not talking much till he gets fed up but I understand this is probably a lot easier said than done!

NC - Glad you survived 'the wrap' .

Good plan to get a cleaner, it's amazing how many arguments you can have over housework when you're tired/stressed. Tbh dh and I share it pretty equally, lately he does more than me I would say but we still manage the odd tiff...

Floria - Sounds like you're doing really well with operation no boobies, stay strong! I was particularily impressed with you staying firm in the early hours, that might have cracked a mere mortel like me

Thanks for the reassurance re the impending birth, i'm hoping it will be easier and shorter if possible.. Would like to fast forward to the bit where I meet baby

WWAJC - Glad you have a friend that's trying to find you somewhere to move to. You sound quite organised about the whole thing and it seems like you have a good 'plan' in place. Hopefully it all runs smoothly. Don't forget we're all here if it becomes stressful and difficult, you can always talk to us.

LLL - ((hugs))

Alice - Thanks again for your help/info today.. Yout topsy yet?

Dylan had a check up with the hv today, got him weighed, he's still doing well had put on a bit and is still following the bottom line as the paediatrician said he'd be happy with!

Well, off to bed now, been a long day and we're both knackered! Hi to anyone i've missed...

strawberrylace · 13/01/2010 23:45

hello ladies
just wanted to quickly say thanks for all you nice replies to my post from yesterday - will come back tomorrow to discuss properly.

just wanted to sympathise on the bedtime problems - we can normally get ds to bed by 9pm, but it usually involves me getting into mine & dh's bed with him and reading him a story (ds that is not dh!!), so that he'll go to sleep. then i can put him into his own bed. this is not ideal, but at least that way the going to bed thing is quite painless and i can get up again or read my book in peace. i'm just saying this cos i know this isn't the right thing to be doing but just so that others don't feel alone in having problems!

night to all (hope all LOs are asleep now)

FloriaTosca · 14/01/2010 08:03

Choc..we intermittently have the same problem and I do the supernanny thing too when it happens. Normally he is fine. 8pm is our bath and story and song in bed time I usually aim for him to be down by 8.30 (8pm because that is the time I get rid of my last pupil 3 days a week)When he does kick off however he too is ultra defiant...there was one night, before Christmas I stood for 45 mins outside his door putting him back to bed screaming every 15 seconds and yes he comes up with every excuse in the book, toilet, kiss daddy, drink, milk, story, ted, light, music, mummy come to sleep too, etc etc...how do I know 15 seconds?...because by half way through I was stood there banging my head on the door jamb repeating the mantra "I am the adult" to stop me blowing my top. Eventually I very calmly told him that if he got out of bed once more I would smack his bottom ... (lost the "I am the adult" argument there then didn't I? ) and surprisingly it worked..I don't reccommend it though because if he had got out again I would have had to do it or lose all credibility and I don't believe in smacking except in very very exceptional circumstances (though I'm frequently tempted )
The result of all that is; no sorry, I don't know how to fix the probem except to try and be consistent with the returning thing.

Still not cracked the night feed thing completely..he came in and asked at 12.30 and then stayed in my bed all night waking and asking again at 4.00 and demanding at 6.00...he is easier to deter though and seems to settle quickly. Dh is back again tonight (a day early, yippee!!)so I'll retreat to the spare room again

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