October 2007- These Little Piggies started throwing tantrums

[FloriaTosca]

The lastest thread for the fabulous women who were due their babies in the October of the Chinese year of the pig and who now have terrible tantrums and delightful cuddles in equal measure from their almost 2 year olds. New and old members welcome to drop in for a chat anytime....

Dal-good news about fil. Bet you're really excited now having the pram!

FT-How nice for you that DH is cominng home early, a nice bonus

Hi all

I wrote a long reply last night then pressed the wrong button and lost it all. arrrggg!
So going to reply to a couple then do a bigger one later.

Re bedtimes (you'll all hate me I know ) but I am very anal and little like a drill sargent. Dh isn't home till 7.30-8pm and I need to get the 3 boys in bed by then. Ollie is an early riser 5-6am, so needs a good nights sleep.

I start with tea @ 5pm, we all sit down together then the boys play whilst I tidy. (sometimes I get all the dishes done, mostly not though!)

5.45pm we tidy up (Henry wanders around shouting TIDY UP TIME!!!!) after we've tidied we all then go upstairs.

Ollie goes into his room to get his PJ's on, Henry goes into his room to break stuff potter.

I change Toby and put him to bed. I then go into Henry's room and change him and Ollie chooses a story and I read it to them both. Ollie goes to his room whilst I say good night to Henry. I then turn out lights/shut door and then go into Ollie's room and read to him. He's allowed 1hr to potter in his room/read/play with his soldiers and then lights out at 7pm.

All boys in bed by 6pm, Ollie has lights out at 7pm (though he's just sleeping at the mo)

Henry is a bit of a nightmare in that he does get out of bed. I simply put him back, kiss kiss, mummy loves you etc etc and keep doing this. Some nights he does this lots, and up till 7 ish, some nights he goes straight down.

I keep the same routine, I don't waiver as I need to give the boys the idea that I am calm, cool and in control (of the situation, not them) as dh isn't there to support me if it all goes tits up. I figure if I can't do it now then all hell will break lose the older they get.

The plus side is they do go to bed and sleep but the downside is they aren't felxible with bedtimes at all. If we're at my brothers they get knackered way before my nieces and nephew but I figure that's only 1/2 evenings in a 6 week period.

How I deal with the 'more drink/toy/daddy' is to try to make sure all those bases are covered before they go to bed. After I've read the story I then tuck in (henry loves this) and then say Mummy/daddy loves you, night night see you in the morning and don't enter into a discussion. This sounds horrible but Henry would have me going up and down the bloody stairs all night. It only took a couple of nights for him not to ask for anything as he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere.

He does get up and wander around his room which I don't go in and make him go back to bed. He would lock horns with me and we would then create a situation. He does make it back to bed and I've never found him sleeping on the floor or anything! Ollie is much easier than Henry. I tend to chose my battles with Henry as he would take me on over anything!

Now if anyone could give me any ways of dealing with Henry's moaning then I would love you forever. He's driving me nuts with 'I not like my gloves, GLOVES ON!!!' 'I not like that breakfast -WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST, OLLIE NOT TOUCH MY BREAKFAST!!!'
It's very wearing he's gone from sunny child to having a dark cloud permenantly above his head.

It's a phase........sighs.......
love to all
xx

Dal - good news they know what's wrong with FIL and hopefully he'll be on the ned soon xx

Helllooooooo!

See, I promised I'd be back at some point - I'm afraid I've forgotten nicknames, and can't remember what I need to day and to who I need to say it, but I am here ....

Will go and work on a longer post now - but for the moment, that's it!

Right, So, Mairwen is now 2 & 3 months .... and ...

• I'm still bf and a bit - only at night and in the morning in bed, and occasionally when she wakes up from her daytime nap and I'm around. MiL is not impressed, but stuff her!

• M is out of nappies during the day, and mostly dry at night too - we're keeping her in nappies at night for the moment though, as I still don't believe it - Rhydian was nearly 5 before he was dry at night!

• M is bilingual and happily chats away in Welsh to Daddy and English to me, although now I've learned quite a bit of Welsh, she quite often doesn't bother switching to English to me I can't believe how much she talks - it's incessant!

• M is now in a big girl bed (as of last weekend), and loves her butterfly bed (she has a butterfly duvet cover).

• She loves

*drawing, painting, dressing-up, dancing, hiding (often forgets that she's doing it though!), reading stories, putting her babies to bed (she put Peppa Pig to bed on R's helipad last week - he was not amused! [grin)

• She loves eating sausages (in fact all meat), yoghurt, chocolate (that's my girl) and is remarkably easy to feed. The only food she really dislikes is broccoli.

Am now off to collect the children, then it's choir tonight - but I will pop in again, I promise!

Don't be embarressed! I only just stopped a couple of weeks ago. It is a personal thing between you and your child, nothing to feel embarressed about.

That bedtime routine sounds amazing! We do have a pretty decent routine in that I do the same things each night although the time does vary. I was doing well with the just putting him back to bed but I gave in a couple of times and now it's a bit messy. Also he is so inventive! Last night it was I need a tissue and he wanted to blow his nose. Before that - I want a kiss - hard to resist that one! He is stubborn - he keeps getting up again and again and it is exhausting constantly putting him back to bed. He fell out of bed the other day and got a bleeding nose - I felt terrible!

hello lovely ladies - hope you are all well
Floria - glad your DH is back early - hope that helps a bit with Op Boobies
Muppet - well impressed with your bedtime routine - think we could do with some drill sergeant style discipline here sometimes
Dal - what sort of pushchair did you get?
NC - glad you got out of the wrap - sounds nice though, i fancy a bit of pampering, may treat myself to something from the supermarket this weekend
WWAJC - good luck in getting yourself sorted with something rented...
Alicet/Chocstar/Crochet - hello! Glad you are all ok
And hello to anyone I've missed

So, in response to everyone's posts afer my mememe post the other day. I have a problem with the management style of one of my bosses at work, and that's been causing me some problems. So I've spoken to my director, and have some good support from my immediate line manager, who's going to sort me out with some counselling - i went to the docs today and have some of the signs of depression so we're going to try and sort some things so it doesn't get worse.
I work in PR - have always done - and mostly think I do a good job, but have recently been questionning my abilities as it feels that my best is not good enough. Some of it stems from being a perfectionist, but some of it is because I work part time in a team that's gone through lots of change in the past year.
I'm not sure what else i would like to do for a job and i don't have any hobbies that I could work on - and this might indeed be one of the things I need to address. I used to do part time youth work, but stopped when I had DS - perhaps I need to start that again, or at least try and do something else that's not my day job.
The rational part of me can see where i need to make some changes (stop logging on to work emails on my days off for example) but I know this is going to be hard. But I am going to see what I can do - i know i can't kid myself that I will completely change my personality (will never be able to completely switch off from work and not care what happens for example) but i'm going to work on it.
Sorry for that long old post. It's nice to be able to say it somewhere, and for once i'm not even crying! (have been v tearful at work, and even burst into tears the other day when DH and DS ate a packet of crips whilst I was at the shop that I was going to eat later...)

Thanks for listening xxxx

Strawberry - just my thoughts (fwiw)

I work in PR - have always done - and mostly think I do a good job, but have recently been questionning my abilities as it feels that my best is not good enough. Some of it stems from being a perfectionist, but some of it is because I work part time in a team that's gone through lots of change in the past year.

All of this could also be caused by / be causing the depression symptoms - I'm still officially battling pnd (basically because I've never come off the ADs ), and on my bad days, I constantly question my ability. That's the thing with depression, it alters how you see yourself, and does it invidiously, so you think it's you rather than the depression talking.

I'm not sure what else i would like to do for a job and i don't have any hobbies that I could work on - and this might indeed be one of the things I need to address. I used to do part time youth work, but stopped when I had DS - perhaps I need to start that again, or at least try and do something else that's not my day job.

I went for a job interview outside of teaching just before Christmas - I didn't get it, butthe one thing it showed me is how much I enjoy my job.
I can honestly say that if I hadn't forced myself out there to do things (Choir, Welsh, now learning BSL), then the depression would have won, and I wouldn't be functioning as well as I am now.

The rational part of me can see where i need to make some changes (stop logging on to work emails on my days off for example) but I know this is going to be hard. But I am going to see what I can do - i know i can't kid myself that I will completely change my personality (will never be able to completely switch off from work and not care what happens for example) but i'm going to work on it.

Don't try to completely switch off from work on your days off straight out. Take the softly-softly approach. I'll give you an example:

There's a boy in my tutor group, lovely, funny, hard as nails I want to adopt him to give him some proper parenting, but that's by-the-by. Now, last term, he was late to school 32 times ... in 45 days of the school term. Instead of giving him a row and telling him to be on time every day - or else!!, we're working on cutting it down by one day at a time. The first week back, he gave himself the target of getting himself to school (gets himself up, breakfast (or not ), and here on his own - mum finds it too hard to get up to sort him out)on time once in the 5 day period. He managed twice, so I made a huge fuss of him, and bought him a cookie from the canteen.

So, what's all that saying (not a lot I suspect, I'm just rambling on - you'll probably regret tempting me back!) - well, just that try to cut it down gradually - keep a note the first week how often each day you check your work emails - the next week make sure you don't exceed that number, the next you cut it down by one a day etc. etc. ...

Sorry for that long old post. It's nice to be able to say it somewhere, and for once i'm not even crying! (have been v tearful at work, and even burst into tears the other day when DH and DS ate a packet of crips whilst I was at the shop that I was going to eat later...)

That's not you - that's chemicals in your brain playing up!

Thanks for listening xxxx Believe me, we've been there ...

love to all - am off to find a youtube recording of our new choir piece!

Strawberry sounds like a lot of your problems are with the style of management at your work rather than the job itself? fwiw I find 3 days tricky too. never relaly quite feel as though I am on top of things and as though i am constantly peddling to keep up. I got pretty down about it too about 3-4 months back but luckily i had a couple of very supportive bosses who helped me through it. Now I have just accepted that you can't 'have it all' and the compromise I have to accept if I want to work part time (which I do - would only do ft if had no choice) is that I will probably find work a bit of a struggle. For me chatting to a female surgical consultant who had also trained part time (not many of them about!!!) and hearing how she had coped really helped - not because she had a magic answer but it just helped me get a bit of perspective and see that it was possible to do what I do part time. is there anyone similar you could talk to? Good luck!

Crochet welcome back!!!! You have reassured me by saying Rhydian was still wet at night until 5 - Sam (4 in feb) is too and despite restricting fluids in the evening he is often absoltely sodden sometimes with a wet bed too. Did you do anything to help or was time al lhe needed?

Sorry can't remember the rest of your posts but Floria great that dh is back early and keep up the good work!

Me, I'm off to bed soon but hope to be back tomorrow for more of a chat... Off to sleep now in lovely new sheets / duvet covers that dh and I bought for our Christmas pressie to each other!

cross posted with crochet who as always has fab advice - don't regret having you back!!!

NC
I have not been ignoring you!!
I have a payg donlge atm and it keeps cutting out, i replied and said i will post you something else, if the original does not turn up. which it hasn't and so i will post you something else. I am a bit upset that you felt you could not message me personally, but either way what is done is done. I sent you a similar SS gift as you sent me, but as it has not arrived i will buy something else and send it to you.

I have been having difficulty getting and staying online since a BT main server cable was actually cut and stolen 2 weeks ago, i thought it had been cut, but found out from bt engineer who was in my home today that it had also been stolen for the copper!!!

Also only reason i have put it on here is because i cannot get fb to load anything atm.

I am on my 3rd dongle in the last 2 weeks because i am trying to find one that works for longer than 3 minutes at a time without cutting out

Hi all!

Floria - Toby is a fab little chap. He looks facially like Ollie (and DH) but has Henry's large shoulders/torso and diddy legs! He loves his brothers and they make him giggle all the time. Sleep wise he's okay but does like a quick bottle in the night. Some nights he sleeps through mostly not though. I seem to be coping more days than not and to say I am happy with them is an understatement we are even thinking of no 4! (Thinking though, no definates either way)

Strawberry - Really sorry work is so tough, Crochet gave some brill advice from someones who's got experience. I would agree with all she said. I found work tough and left due to depression, I can empathise with the anxiety as I felt they were going to find me out as the fraud I felt I was so I left first. I thought I would fall apart in front of a class and was having panic attacks.
I would ask if you are having any other therapy apart from the AD'S? Any counselling? CBT? If not can you ask for some, If yes -do you think it's working?

Crochet - Mairwen sounds fabulous!

Alice -hope you enjoyed the new sheets!

Inzie - am really hoping the ms will ease soon and sorry to hear of your gran being a bit spoilt. That must be so hard for your family to tred on eggshells around her

I phoned to asked about a job advertised in this shop
here I love her stuff and they are looking for someone to do ad hock hours. Dh and I feel that it would be good for me to get a job so I can get back into the working world as I haven't worled since I left due to depression. It won;t cover child care but I think it'll be good for me. The woman took my details and said they's ring me back but she rang today to say Susie hadn't been in but they still wanted to speak to me regarding what they need. I know they'll be loads of people after the job and I probably won;t get it but I think it's a huge step forward for me to go for it. (I realise this isn't in the same league as some of you but I am sh*tting myself about the thought of doing any work!!)

No doubt will be back soon
xx

Happy New Yr lovely ladies. Albeit a bit late!! Great keeping in touch on fb but I will make a real effort to post on here this yr!!!!

wow congrats inzi - woosshhh - am being even more tumbleweed than usual. How far along are you? Sorry to hear about yr grandad

well ladies its been yonks. Not really been on mn very much. Had birova break. Too much trying to post here, facebook, keep my house in a sellable condition (not worth asking about - nada), er look after kids and go to work.

Am going to watch cbb now. And talk to dh like. Catch up better later. Cheerio

I've had a small read through. I am tres impressed with how this thread is still going. Promise PROMISE to catch up properly!!! Life is VERY busy these days now I have four children!!!!!!!!! Xx

please look at this thread it is THE funiest thing I've read in ages!!

here

Dal - sit down first ;)

Muppetgirl, you're right. That was soooooooooo funny!!!!!

I have been on baileys so I know I'm biased!

possed ladies!

Choc - wow you're busy, not surprised you could do with a cleaner. About Dareh not going to bed, I'm having exactly the same problem with Anya unless she's really tired. I used to be able to put her in her bed and leave her to go to sleep but now she insists that I stay where she can see me (at least) or more usually have lots of cuddles. No advice I'm afraid, I've not found the answer - I'm doing the 'it's just a phase' mantra.

NC - bedtime depends on whether Anya's stayed awake all day. On my days at home she doesn't sleep now during the day so she's in bed by about 6:30. If my parents have her (like today) she comes home a bit hyped and she always has a nap in the car on the way home despite their best efforts, so it's nearer 7:30/8:00. If dh has let her sleep during the day for an hour or so it's 10pm.

Dal - so glad your fil is ok and it can be cleared up easily - must be a relief for you all. Yes, I'm trying to be organised - it's my way of coping with the stress, sorting out practical things, making lists, etc. It's not quite that together in the rest of my head though!

FT - loving the mantra "I am the adult" - doesn't feel like that most of the time does it? Good that dh is home early - a lovely weekend.

Muppet - I am so impressed with your bedtime routine, I just don't have the willpower not to cave in when Anya wants something. Henry's hilarious though (sorry, I know it must drive you mental!) Well done on you going for that job - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you anyway .

Crochet - hellloooo! welcome back! Well done on successful potty training - we've not started that yet. Mairwen sounds like she's doing wonderfully - loving the constant chattering.

Strawberry - sending you lots of hugs and sympathy. Are the changes at work still quite recent? If so maybe it's something that you're still adjusting to. Getting involved in something outside of work sounds like a good idea - it would give you some time when you could switch off. It wouldn't mean you didn't care but you need to give your brain a break from thinking about the same thing. I understand about the 3 days working as well - I find that although I can cut down my actual 'job' down from 5 days to 3, I still have to do the same amount of admin as I would if I did 5 days - e.g. we're looking round for a certain software system at the moment - that's taking up a larger amount of my time than it should because that can't be cut by 40% iyswim.

Inzi - sending you anti-ms vibes. Poor you, I hope it clears soon. And of course it makes it difficult dealing with your gran - I'm sure she's just working through her grief but it does make it hard for all of you.

Heinz & herjazz - hellloooo to you as well.

And so to bed...

Muppet that thread is quality! and good luck with the job!

Hello herjazz and heinz - been ages but good to see you again!

Inzi sorry to hear you still struggling with ms - fingers crossed it abates soon...

I am on call this weekend - boo hiss! Oh well - fingers crossed it won't be too busy and I can get lots of little silly admin jobs done that i never find time to do!

have had a lovely couple of days with the boys being little stars. They have just (mostly) been playing really nicely together and listening to them chatting together is lovely. Much in love mummy today!

cross posted WWAJC - hello to you too and sleep well!

Crochet/Alicet/Muppet/WWAJC - thanks so much for your thoughts and advice, especially about taking it slowly (i'm often an all or nothing girl) and also about finding another part time person to talk to - there's actually someone part time from another organisation who's working with me on one of my projects at the moment - she knows how i'm feeling and has already offered to act as a sounding board, so perhaps I will book a coffee with her. Muppet - the shop looks like it sells lovely things and would be right up your street
Inzi - hope the ms subsides a bit, and things get a bit more sorted with your grandma
Hello to everyone else!

Had a nice day today with DS - we bought a couple of puzzles and the Hungry Hippos game for him, and had lunch in Sainsbury's before doing our weekly shop. He ate his lunch very nicely, and went and said hello to a little 9-month old girl who was smiling at him - such flirts the pair of them!

Tomorrow we are all going to visit one of my mum friends - we were in hospital together, and got on really well - she has just moved house and DH is going to fix some electrical things for her & her partner. Which is a good excuse for us to drink coffee while the kids play and the men work. Though i was the weather was nicer so we could be sitting outside. Another mum friend who had her DD the same time as I had DS has just texted to say she's back from Brazil (which is where her parents live & where she's from originally) - it was 37 degrees there so she's freezing now!

Hope you all have a great weekend - I am going to bed now because I am TIRED xx

WOW! Great to see some old faces
I'll catch up tomorrow, off to bed as we've been busy today being superstars;

Alex and I were interviewed by Lancashire Radio about baby sign language ...very exciting ...this is because the Lancashire telegraph did the same last week.

Please for an orderly queue for autographs