March 08: We're about to get our first little sister or brother!

[turtle23]

Thought I'd start a new thread as as soon as evie pops we're bound to fill it hugely and some of us have phones to work with!

Congrats evie! Your short second birth fills me with lots of hope for this one! So pleased for you- forgive my memory, but that's a sister for your DS?
Hope everyone else is doing well xx

Congratulations, Evie, that's lovely news. Hope you're all enjoying the new arrival.

CM - glad to hear you got more sleep. Fingers crossed it persists.
You too, Turtle. Hoorah for sleepy babies!

Ff had a lovely time at her first nursery session today. I was a snivelling mess when I dropped her off, but she barely noticed me leaving.

Apparently, Bloke is coming home next Wednesday. Seems almost surreal that he will be coming home and STAYING home.

FF- So pleased you get your man back!! I can't wait for P to startnursery. Not so much because I want him gone, just that I have some time now to look at houses without a toddler touching everything in other people's houses
Last night had first truly uncomfortable moment with bump...really getting a bit more real now!
Have already bored one of you with this...but want to know I'm not nuts as another friend has said I am:
Dh admitted to 2nd affair during our talks. Said girl has had cancer for the last year and he hasn't been to see her. Now realise that it was out of guilt. We were on the verge of actually getting on after the last few days and yesterday he said he was going to see her as she is dying.
He has had a year or so to go and see her and now wants to go as he feels it is fine. I said if he goes to see her he can forget us ever getting back together in the future, but if we are truly finished then go.
Harsh? Maybe, but he then said..."well that makes me feel bad." I feel like shit. I was cheated on. If he isn't willing to close that door completely, then..
He knew her for about three months before things happened and dropped all contact with her right after. Hardly a lifelong pal.
AIBU?

It is very exciting - strange thought that this is our last weekend apart.

Good luck to P ( and turtle) today. House hunting with a toddler would be a nightmare...I can imagine feeling obliged to take the first house I saw purely because Ff had rifled through the kitchen cupboards and used the stairs as a slide.

I have tried to refrain from being rude about your husband, but this time can 't help myself. He is being an utter cocknocker. Why does he have to see her now? He's giving himself something to blame YOU for. It may seem harsh, but you are not going mad, and you are not being unreasonable in what you have said.

At all.

It's cold here today. I love the switch from summer to autumn. Am already fantasising about dressing Ff in woolies and wellies to go and jump about in leaves and puddles.

turtle, you are NOT bu.

Tell your DH that he can't always do what he wants. Too bad. That's part of being a grown up.

Just to reiterate turtle, YANBU, and whilst I too have tried (possibly unsuccessfully!) not to be rude about your useless excuse of a husband I can't this time either. He is being a first class arse. You really really do deserve better than this, it makes ME so angry just reading about him, I dread to think how you feel. You're so lovely and beautiful - how on earth he can cheat on you once I don't know, twice is just unbelievable.

Ridiculous, stupid, stupid man.

Is the house-hunting looking for a house for you and the boys or him too?

It was really cold here this morning Ff but baking now, feels like the height of summer! Might be London smog more than anything though!

Thank you all. Friend rang up this morning and told me I was a selfish cow as the OW "is dying after all..stop being so petty."
House is just for me and the boys. Have weighed up the options and am trying to stick with hanging on til I can be BOUGHT somewhere (though it will be small) instead of getting housing benefit and renting. I will find a way to do this. I think DH should pay for it.

If things aren't moving quicly enough I will jump ship and rent, but trying to find somewhere suitable for the amount they allow you isn't easy.

Btw...P loved his nursery and cried when we left...

Then she is not a friend, is she? Good lord, there is nothing petty about not wanting your husband to see someone he cheated on you with. He has had ample opportunity to go and see her if she has been ill for a while - making it your decision is manipulative and wrong.

Ooh, I'm with Ewe. I am so on your behalf. You sound calm and serene, which is very good for you and the bump. Please allow us to feel the fury for you.

Very good news about the nursery.

Sun is out now, yay. Plan for the afternoon, when Ff wakes up, is a trip into local Midsomer Murder town, run madly around the park, then pick up fish and chips on the way home. To put me right at the top of the scummy mummy pops, in addition to feeding my child take away food, we will mostly be eating out of the paper, so there is no washing up.

NO NO NO! That's not the point! Your DH does not need to go see this woman, what on earth would that do? You stand your ground and don't let them manipulate you. You're not being petty, your relationship (if there's anything left of it) comes first here. Period.

Ff- your plan sounds divine. I want fish and chips for tea. With no dishes to clean up. Although we're going to have jacket potatoes with bakes beans and lots of cheese, which dd LOVES. And creates little mess. And we eat a lot of Fridays, since it's a work day for me. Thank God for the timer on my oven!

Am suddenly into the idea of moving to Worthing. So much more house for the money...

not Worthing turtle, move to Wales!
Really have to agree with the others, you're being so understanding of him, but he has always had the choice, while you are having to live with the result of his actions/inactions. Everything he does, he appears to be finding a way to blame you which is a load of big hairy horse's bollox.
If he really thinks it's ok to a)admit to cheating on you then b)want to see said person now he's got the guilt off his chest then you have every right to tell him where to go. You're the one who's being responsible and looking after his 1 and a bit children, he really is too immature & selfish to consider anybody else but himself. Don't be guilt-tripped into letting him get away with even more, he doesn't know where to stop. Treat him like the kid he is and give him boundaries, then let him know exactly what'll happen if he oversteps the mark.
And please let us all come round to back you up! Paddington's hard stare has nothing on me

(Should add that he has said he won't go. Then again..he also once promised to love, honour and cherish me.)

erm, from 3rd person who told you he should go as she's dying, i guess this is true. my first reaction is what plonker nonsense is he making up now? honestly, it's sounds right up there with the dog ate my home work and the other woman took advantage of me in a moment of weakness.

sorry to stomp on YOUR cherished wedding vows, but I feel a need to join the chorus of 'wash that man right out of your hair'.

and move to tufnell park. get a lot of box for your money

i feel like i have been out in the cold, can i rejoin the thread?

Evie, congratulations! Let us know the name and new baby pics

Ewe good luck at interview

Ffreckle, glad you are getting dh back

Turtle, i try not to give advice/judge but honestly i dont know how you cope with your husband, he exasperates me reading this

Ok, so update on me. Dh has managed to sort out licence issue and points are on hold till case goes to court so he can drive until then, no more 5.45 starts

I started an access course at tvu reading this week (like Ewe was interviewed two weeks before offered place week before) so am studying Chem/Psychology/Bio to complemnet my English Lang/Lit quals so i can then go on a degree course to be a SALT

It is great to be going out 2 nights a week while dh has the kids, i havent been this free in 4 years

DD is back at preschool so i am now taking ds to tumble tots and libary song time which is great to give him th 1 to 1 attention that dd had

thank you all for lovely messages, having been around so little I feel geninuely grateful for the on line messages. ESPECIALLY when so much else going on on here - househunting and husbands behaing more than badly....Turtle I just want to say you are amazing, you have so much to contend with and really you seem extraordinary. I wish you good sleep and happy dreams to make up for the shocking time you are having.
We are doing fine - I'm a bit of an emotional mess at the moment but perhaps that is to be expected with a brand new baby (a dd for ds - you're right!) Hormones playing havoc of course but anyway - I have nothing to complain about, my ds is being extraordinary, my dh has more than risen to the challenge and my family and in laws have yet to put a foot wrong....
I say hello to you all and again so many thanks and thanks for letting me wibble on with so much more going on in your lives

Glad all is well with you, Evie.

Littleducks, pleased to hear stuff is getting sorted with driving/court etc. And well done with your course! Is it at King's Road? Bloke and I did Spanish there when we were first married (well, we did a term. Going together was a bad idea, because we sat at the back messing about, and then we got Boydog and hated the idea of leaving him for all of those hours every week.) Are you close to Reading?

Turtle, moving to the seaside sounds smashing. If you don't need/want to be in London, move away and watch how much more you get for your cash.

Three days to go now.

Seaside escape scrappd...DH now says wont buy anything further than 45 minutes away and would prefer that we were still in same town.

you're not doing this for his convenience.

Is he in some sort of dickhead contest? The biggest twunt wins a prize?

Do you want me to come and beat him up? I might be small, but I'm feisty.

are you married? wont you just get half of everything or so if you get divorced? why let him make you dependent on him still?

Ffreckle, yes Kings road, im in M'head.

Yes, we are married. Half of everything would be enough to make me get no benefits but not enough to live on. Am just trying to get the best I can for the boys.

Gg turned 10 months on Saturday, his end of babyhood to me. And treated us to warning shot of sleep disruption with 3x screaming abjabs sessions last night, needing reassurance cuddles to go back to sleep.he's matching that with daytime demonstration of fear and shyness, he's totally worked out what a little fellow he is in the scheme of things and how much he needs us. Klingon. In between all this he is the brightest ray of sunshine and such a quick learner.

how's everyone else getting on with this age? xfx

I am loving this age so much, the constant wittering on, she is such a little person and very very funny. She is always doing little jokes and hiding things, putting things on her head etc. Adorable. Just typing this has me grinning like a loon! She is definitely a bit clingier now than she was, often cries when I leave the room. Sleep is pretty good unless she is sick, we read her Peepo or The Gruffalo and she just nods off, she still has a dummy though which is probably against all the parenting rules!

turtle, whilst I hate the fact that he is trying to control you I can understand not wanting to be too far away from his children. Hopefully when they are a bit bigger he will be more involved and the support will be helpful? [optomistic smile]I am free on Wed if you fancied doing something?

My MD STILL hasn't got back to me despite telling me it would be Thurs, Fri at the latest. Making me assume the worst! Going to try and think of some other options, if you know of anyone who needs a fab sales/account manager in London for two days a week, let me know.

Am also loving this age - she is too too cute all the time. And frustrating in equal measures - constantly pushing boundaries and I so often find it hard to be cross when she is doing something that also makes me want to laugh. Had another terrible night last night, after some not-great-but-no-where-near-as-bad-as-the-beginning-of-last-week ones - teeth + a bit of a cold poor little thing. DH now away till Wednesday night so am praying she is an angel for the next couple of days!

Ewe - hope he's just being disorganised, not trying to let you down gently.

MB - how exciting you started a discussion of the day!!

did i?