April 2009 - Chapter 5 - The one where no-one is allowed to feel guilty (except about all the chocolate...)

[Guimauve]

There will be chocolate fines for the guilty!

Hurrah for ladyboys!

Not feeling too well rested Beebs, as H feeding repeatedly in the night, though not quit dogs-arsey either. Feeding him half-asleep at one point in the wee small hours, wondering why it was so painful. Assumed for a while it was blocked duct until I woke up a little more and realised he was latched onto aereola only with no actual nipple! Youch! So now I have a lovely love bite on my boob

How is K getting on? 100m hurdles yet ?

Yeah, yeah, she said it was going in this week.

Morning Auld

K is asleep - gosh don't give him ideas he does enjoy commando rolling over his dinosaur ball pool / me / duvets or anything in the way of him and whatever he wants... but yes, really well, he loves his food and is much more content now he is on solids. Back to his nice old self! How is H?

My job today (as well as working obviously) is to get stair gates - have been without them for a couple of weeks and am now giving in to the play pen and gates to give me a bit of sanity - any ideas on best place to go?

Ouch K does that some times - very attractive xx

Right I am going to get in the bath and attempt to get to some sort of look that wont scare small children x

Morning! Anyone able to help with the incredible leaking Orbit, please step over here.

Must go wash hair before friend arrives, otherwise she'll think she's come to a lunatic asylum.

Back in a bit.

H is fine thanks BB. No proper rolling yet, though he's going to herniate something trying to get from his front to his back! No food either for a few more weeks, hopefully by 26 weeks or so he'll be sitting up well on his own, or at least well enough to support himself in his highchair.

My jobs for the day:

• Making another loaf of bread, though that pretty much does itself
• Need to have a slice of cake around 10.30am

For the rest of the day, I'll be having an open-door session on the sofa in my office. Feel free to drop in!

Have you tried Kiddicare for buying stuff? They have masses of stuff, and deliver very quickly.

Sorry WFH, no advice here. I can only say that we've had very few leaks with the Pampers new baby ones. BumGenius remain untested until the weather cools down.

Ha. Ladyboys. That'll teach me to prioritise sleep over MN.

I second the wonderousness of Kiddicare - I ordered a cozytoes for O's buggy at 7.30pm one evening and it was delivered the next day - how is this possible?!

O is grunting like a grunty fucker today... I think he's trying to do a poo - either that or he's turned into a chameleon as his head keeps turning pink.

WFH - I love the first food recipes in the NCT weaning book. Boil a carrot, puree it. Boil a potato, puree it. Boil a pea, puree it. The later ones are really good though, and the general info is giving me the confidence to do what I'm doing, go slowly, and not be rushed by my well meaning but slightly irritating mother.

Sunny day - hurray

Kiddicare it is - got some nice wooden ones - big tick off my to do list - thanks!

LOL at grunty fucker Bicnod - K has now started screatching (SP??!?) when he laughs - my poor ears

ooh bread... I'm now trying to diet so bread is off for me but I love it soooooo much xxx

WFH sorry, no idea x

OK, I'm here to set EVERYONE straight on a few things.

Baileys is not an alcoholic drink it's a pudding in a glass and should be treated as such.

Myla imnsho sucks big green eggs quality wise - they use to be very good. The model is FAR to thin.

ALL 'magicians' should be rounded up and shot. It's lies and fakery wrapped up as entertainment. I loathe magicians. Darren Brown should be clubbed with a celery just because of his name let alone anything esle. Clowns otoh are just scary and should be banned.

21???? Good goddess, I'm a VERY old person. I don't have good birthdays as my birthday is to close to Xmas [feel sorry for me emoticon]

Boff next time they want you to fix the computer or anything else tell them you'll do it for a fee. Pick the worse household chore you can think of I'm evil, it's a gift.

I'm scared stiff of mooncups, I think they'll air lock and pull all sorts of interesting stuff out!

Puzzle that wasn't a roar - trust me LOL

BB I may very well know the man you laughed at

TheTiggaHasSpokenTiggaxx

Pudding in a glass works for me. I'll just add a wafer.

I do feel old! I know that I'm not, but I feel it!

Haha, sorry Gui. Ouch for the new form of BF that H was trying to achieve.

I was a bit worried about my mooncup, but it's actually really good. I'm impressed by it. & most importantly, I won't be spending a fortune on tampons now! It has little holes around the top so it doesn't create a vacuum. It's more comfortable than it looks like it'd be, too. I'm a convert.

Ah, but Derren Brown never claims to be a 'magician'. He always says that it is all just illusion.

Did anyone see the Mindgames one with the newspaper? I wonder whether the DM thing worked on any MNers in the audience.

Mooncup or JamSponge, Mooncup or JamSponge?

Ay me, baby hours seem long.

Springy, it was one of the most painful things ever. The memory of it surpasses the memory of childbirth (the pain that is)!

"Rye is really cool stuff. Its chemistry is based on long-chain carbs called pentosans that agglutinate into gelatinous sheets -- very different from gluten. Thing is, pentosans are very susceptible to amylases, which break down complex sugars into simple sugars. However, acids retard the action of the amylases, thereby slowing considerably the breakdown of the pentosans. So the idea is to build the sour fairly gradually, to allow the lacto- and acetobacilli to produce lactic and acetic acids in sufficient quantities to hold back the amylases"

Ahhh, science. This bread-making malarkey can be soooooooo much more complicated than I realised!

Yes, babies can get quite a suck on them when they're hungry. Vicious creatures.

The 'ay me...' made me smile. What baby-related rubbish lengthens Guimauve's hours? I'm just bored of the noise.

& yeah, I like Derren Brown's stuff. I like that he's up front about it & basically discredits all of the 'physics' & stuff. He's well creepy, though. I don't know how he does it.

& Gui, I tried reading that bit about rye. But chemistry was never my strong point & I stopped paying attention after 'aggluginate'

'Tis just the feeding feeding feeding feeding. It's really very dull.

Lovely word, agglutinate. Onomatopoeic, methinks.

I actually prefer my typo of aggluginate

& yeah. Babies are boring. I just have to keep telling myself that I'll be complaining when I don't get to sit still for more than 3 seconds at a time because he's climbing something new, so at least being boring is more restful. As restful as constant feeding day & night can be.

That is very true. I am laying down calories in preparation for that period of our lives!

Oooh, I like that excuse.

Rye can also encourage the growth of a fungus called ergot, not a million miles away from LSD chemically, which in turn can cause hallucinations if ingested. When we were all medieval peasant farmers, by early summer there was not much left to eat and the rye was rather mouldy, and scoffing it caused huge swathes of the peasant population to have one enormous collective trip. Hence all those terracotta-coloured pictures of medieval peasants dancing insanely in some sort of hessian-clad rave.

A thought ladies - we are descended from these people. Now that's a bit alarming.

Now who's da Boff?????

(You can tell I am avoiding writing a funding application, can't you???)

More Boffin stuff - a new formula for the relationship between EBM and crying:

Current situation:
3m=4c where m=milk and c=crying

Ideal situation:
4m=4c

Situation DH seems to want:
4m squared=0c

My breasts are empty and flapping like a famine victim's, and my nipples raw from their prolonged contact with the milk hoover, and I just don't know how to make more of the damn stuff. I need a wet nurse.

Maybe rye would work. Pumpernickel, anyone???

Nom nom nom......

OOOOOooooooOOOOoooooooohhhhhhhhhh!

Tangerine TREES!!!
Marmalade SKIES!!!!!

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green toweringovermyHEEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD.....................