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May 2007 - I beg of you... Come out, come out wherever you are Scoot.

745 replies

largeginandtonic · 26/08/2009 19:41

We needed a new thread. It took blardy ages to load.

Now where are you Scoot?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ShowOfHands · 10/09/2009 09:59

MN potty training guide here

For naps put a towel under her. Take the potty out in the car with you along with clean change of clothes and a towel under her. Stop the car as soon as possible after she asks. It's best not to put a nappy on at all once you've made the decision. If she's ready you'll know quite quickly. M wasn't the first time she tried, obviously didn't know she needed to go and was genuinely surprised to be weeing in her knickers. Few weeks later and she got it immediately. She was dry in a morning consistently so knew she was physiologically ready.

Oddly, never had a poo accident here. She got that at about 17 months but weeing took much much longer. Weird is our Tank.

Tillyscoutsmum · 10/09/2009 10:08

Thanks SOH. I suspect Til might be similar. She's been announcing poo's for a while (both in a "I need a poo" and "I've done a poo" way). Her nappy is always wet though and she's never mentioned wees. She does drink loads though. Maybe I need to limit it slightly ?

Anyway - thanks again both. Will have a look at the guide and see how we get on !

MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 10:18

Agree entirely with SOH,be prepared for the trips out and don't make them an excuse for a nappy. She'll get confused very easily if she's in and out of nappys (pull ups are still nappys). She must only associate a nappy woth her bedtime routine or naps, but not naps in the car! If she falls asleep in the car without a nappy she's unlikely to wee but she will probably want to go as soon as she wakes up. I'd give it at least a week before deciding if she's ready or not, even if she is making small steps and not having as many accidents as day one then she's ready it just may take her a little longer. IMO she is only not ready if she has NO idea, doesn't care when she's weed or soiled and has no interest in whats happening. Off to look at the MN guide.

SKYTVADDICT · 10/09/2009 11:30

Thinking of you today G&T family x

Not been well this week with an upper respiratory tract infection (sore throat!) and now AF started today with avengence. I am throwing in the towel on the sorting the house, wedding and childminding front this week and just laying down!

We do have to make ourselves presentable and go out to Music Bugs this afternoon though so I am hoping the aspirin kick in soon!

Meeting with the vicar was hilarious the other night. He asked me what I thought went wrong in my previous marriage and what I thought I could do better. I told him my ex MIL said that one of the reasons he left me was because I didn't have his tea on the table every night!!! Take note Jam . DP thinks this is hilarious as I very rarely have his tea on the table and he isn't going anywhere any time soon!

Boys currently hanging round me and tuggin at me and the "Puter" as C calls it.

Hello everyone and goodbye for now x

Themasterandmargaritas · 10/09/2009 14:18

Good luck for today Gin. X

largeginandtonic · 10/09/2009 14:41

Am back. He was a twit, jumping up and down and interrupting the judge

We are to file statements within 6 weeks, the boys will be interviwed but hopefully they will get their points across. They are also (The CAFCASS people) going to talk to their counsellor and include her report as part ofmy statement. This is good as the twins have spoken to her a lot since the incidents.

The trouble is he is mad, i mean crazy mad. He will not entertain the idea that the twins do not want to see him, he has said i have brainwashed them against him. He thinks they should be subject to an independant psych report and social services should be bought in immediately. He belives that their counsellor will only give a biased opinion and should not count.

Basically it does not matter what happens and how much the boys are put through, until he gets the answers he want from them he will not rest.

We can only hope for a strong CAFCASS officer to hold their own against him and that the Judge get's quickly tired of his appalling behaviour.

I am in bits, i kknow what this means. He is in his mental zone and nothing will please him. It makes him difficult to predict. M y solictor said if he comes after you phone the police

I need my husband.

OP posts:
Tillyscoutsmum · 10/09/2009 14:45

Gin - Get on the phone NOW and do everything you can to get DH home. Shout, stamp your feet and stop worrying about being the strong one and coping with everything all the time. You need him home. Please...................

Themasterandmargaritas · 10/09/2009 14:58

Omg Gin, if you are worried about what he might do, then I am with Tills you must call, jump up and down, sob and scream, anything to get them to get dh back.

JamInMyWellies · 10/09/2009 16:47

LG&T I have no idea what this man has done in the past but am assuming its horrific and you need to protect yourselves. Please please contact whomever you need to to get DH home also if you feel threatened you must must contact the police so that they are made aware.

Tillyscoutsmum · 10/09/2009 16:56

Are you on to it Gin ?? Even if you don't feel threatened, then you really need the emotional support at the moment Good luck - hope you manage to get dh home soon x

MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 17:04

Oh lg&t.... please get N home, you have said it yourself, you need him and you really do. I am sure the judge will see right through numpty brain, afterall the judge will ONLY have the boys interests at heart! I know you are not keen but here have a{{{{hug}}}} anyway. xx

AprilMeadow · 10/09/2009 18:23

Oh GIn, i am so sorry that you had to go through that today. His is a complete f'ing knob and he should be the one having psych reports done on him! Please to what you can to get N back home - you do need him and even if its only for a few days its some support for you rather than nothing at all.

Sending you lots of love & hugs xx

ShowOfHands · 10/09/2009 18:53

Oh Gin. How bloody awful for you to have to go through that today but there are a lot of positives in there. He is in panic mode as well as mental mode. He knows that the DTs are strong, intelligent, forthright young men who will have opened up to the counsellor. He is rightly afraid of what her report will say and yes he's crying unfair bias but come on, why would a counsellor be biased? It's knee jerk panic reaction and it will be spotted a mile off. And cafcass? Yes, they make or break these cases but I know his track record with them and it will be well recorded. He will not come across as a well, stable, adjusted man here. And jumping up and down interrupting a judge? I mean know your audience nob jockey. The reports will not go in his favour. You know I'm omniscient. He hasn't got a cat in hell's chance.

The police thing is worrying but you've had to call them before with the school incident. That means he is already known. And as soon as the ruling is made in 6 weeks you'll have the weight of the law behind you. If he tries anything- and my gut reaction is it will be to corner the DTs not you- then he's in breach of a court order and in serious trouble.

I can't predict what will happen categorically but realistically with his history (not just with you but with cafcass, with the school, in front of the judge), it's not going well is it? If he'd turned up and acted like a normal person then I'd be worried but Nobbo McNobJockey turned up as predicted.

One thing I will say is, you know I had a friend in a similar situation, her online musings/rantings were used by her xdp and printed in the cafcass reports. So, be careful what you write on here. Facts fine, no namecalling, no casting aspersions. Us? We can say what we want about the wankoid titface.

What's the legal situation atm? Is he allowed near the DTs? Is there a ruling in effect to prevent him approaching them?

largeginandtonic · 10/09/2009 19:11

Thank you for the support, as always. You really do help me y' know

I have to see the doc tomorrow and give my permission for NPFS lady to speak to him. If he agrees i am in need then i think dh will be allowed home for a while.

The man has not been violent, he has just been verbally abusive and threatening in the past. For me personally i am not afraid of him [brave] BUT i am afraid he will get to a desperate point and try to see the boy's, by whatever means. I don't think he will do it yet. He is blinkered enough to think that the court will see in his favour (It's happened before folks) so he may hold on for that.

The statements and twin interviews will send him over the edge though. He will not be happy

It is such a lengthy miserable process, so draining on all involved. It will possibly take until next year before we get a result. If we get one that is.

My lovely neighbours had B and B all day, they said they were very good too I worry so much about leaving ds5 but he was a star apparantly! He did ask for me but was easily distracted and played very happily. I am so relieved as he is normally so clingy.

I am so lucky to have all these great people around me

OP posts:
MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 19:15

What happened to the well spoken lady, in tweed and a straw hat?
PMSL at wanktoid, I may have to reuse that reference.

MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 19:18

Oh it was wankoid titface..... even better!

Gin it's crap that you have to go through it all of you. I'm sure they'll see sense this time Gin and one day you'll be able to say, right thats it it was farkin hourrendous but it's done now and was worth it in the long run.

largeginandtonic · 10/09/2009 19:25

SOH i like it You are right (obv) they can easily see through him. After all behaviour like that does not go unnoticed. I just pray this is it once and for all. I am becoming delicate in my old age

I will be careful what i post. You post away for me

No contact, the judge has forbidden it. Said it could be harmful to the boys. He of course said it would be harmful for them not to see him He was spouting various 'alien parenting' studies or somesuch nonsense. The judge had started ignoring him by this stage

Wankoid titface indeed.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 10/09/2009 20:06

Well good luck to him if he does approach them. Breach of a court order. Can carry a prison sentence, certainly serious. DH will come down terminator stylee and arrest him personally. Or not obviously as that's bias (he clearly doesn't understand the word) but one of dh's esteemed colleagues would be happy to bang him to rights.

ShowOfHands · 10/09/2009 20:07

The straw hat, the source of all my powers, is gone unfortunately. I say wankoid titface in a cut glass accent though obviously.

Themasterandmargaritas · 10/09/2009 20:12

Like this waaankoooid titfaace ?

ShowOfHands · 10/09/2009 20:44

Yes, only wearing pince-nez, arms hefted under ample, tweed-clad bosom and disapproving tut to round off.

MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 21:16

Ahhh thats OK then, jesus my visions of the librarian were almost ruined... resume all is saved.

Night all, hope you get a good night Gin.

MmeJaffaB · 10/09/2009 21:18

SLEEP obviously

elkiedee · 11/09/2009 00:36

Sorry LG&T that you're having all this hassle, hope dh is able to come home and help you through it.

AprilMeadow · 11/09/2009 16:16

WOW super quiet on here today......

LG&T how are you doing today? Have you had any joy with NPFS?