Nov 2008 - because there was no thread space to think of a clever title!

[Yorky]

Had to be done soon, hope it works!

damn...just checked and the nearest wifi if nearly 20 miles away from us on holiday, so looks like I'll be incommuncado.

I'll miss you guys

vbab your poor DS, its awful when you feel like someone is picking on your kids.
twinks hope your DH does go and see about his anger if its causing problems, my ex was volatile and anything would set him off but DH is very easy going and if he gets angry he goes for a walk then comes back calm.
FOF sorry you had a dissapointing result from salt, can you ask to be referred to ENT to see if they can help M.
Daisy you prob know this but this comes into my area of nursing, you have tiny follicles in your small bowel which abosrb vits, if you are coeliac they became enlarged when you have gluten, so dont aborb iron etc to the same extent, by going GF these follicles return to normal and absorb all the vits again.
We will miss you but have a lovely holiday, I better get my arse into gear have to be at Aberdeen for 10ish

thanks for your thoughts regarding DS and the "picking on" incident. Nice to know I am not overreacting to the situation because lord knows i am a champion overreactor. I think I have just got to leave the situation now just wish i had said more than we are going and dont want not genuine apology. My DS would have been matched upstairs and stop there until at least everyone had left later no matter how long that would have been. But diff parenting techniques though. I bet my friend doesnt tell her DH about it as her would react like me and go mental.

Dont really want to "get into it" with my friend as i could tell she felt bad even if her DS didnt and we would end up both defending our children and falling out. Also all my friends near me are linked IYSWIM so upset one prob lose the lot. Also got a lot of hisotry as I have known my friend since 6th form (a few years ) and her DH about 11yr+. My DH has known my friend's DH since being young kids living next door to each other so are very close. They also live around the corner from us! They are both going to be godparents in Sept to DS and A. DH said to me though he wouldnt have been as controlled as me and would have flipped not sparing any feelings. I can imagine that! I guess I will just have to be more watchful and if ANYTHING like that happens again I WILL KICK OFF so everyone had better stand back.

As for my other friend to the little girl who did nothing .

Here is too a good day for us all ! DH going out with his dad tonight so on a good note on my own to chill and do whatever I want but on bad note weird on my own and not looking forward to a drunken DH coming home.

marched not matched. history not hisotry. DUH!

ellie send us a friends request hun Toni Creed

Today i don't know what to do with myself, my parents have taken my 3 kids out to the seaside for the day and won't be home until 6pm and dh came home from work at 5am so will be in bed all day. So i have managed to wash up but mn was calling so here i am.

Shopin'
tegan some retail therapy is definitely in order!

Only cos I wouldn't know what to do with myself either, espesh if DH is in bed and you have to be quiet.

Wow! a house with no children in it all the way until 6pm, bliss

Oh dear vbab all these connections. Shame you can't just not see them again, but I guess that is maybe not a grown up way to deal with it anyway

though at them being godparents, if she is not going to teach her children right from wrong how is she to be a good god parent? They told me to choose ones that would be on the same wavelength as you, in order that your children can turn to them for advise/guidance when they feel they can't turn to you.
Mind you, maybe she feels bad about it all but felt unable, in front of you all, to deal with it as she might at home IYSWIM?
I shouldn't judge her character on one incident
I am just so mad about it and am totally putting myself in that place and imagining how I would feel if it was my J....mad as..I can't think. Just mad!

Ritual humiliation? But surley not on the scale of exposing one for the amusment of others?
Teasing, yes. Hiding from, a horrid game, but yes. But pulling down of pants, !!
Just not funny. Cruel to a level I am truly not comfortable with

Oh dear twink, step off the soap box

My mums neighbours were being little meanies to my DD recently.
Goading her into following them, then as soon as they got to the door of the house, they would slam in in her face and laugh with glee.
Again and again, she followed truly believing she would be allowed access (even I was thinking surley this time). Her wee face falling everytime they slammed the door
Eventually I intervened and told them off for being cruel and that she was too young for such mean games.
They let her in after that and were nice to her.
But I no longer trust them, only if I was there to supervise, and that just hasn't happened. I doubt it will either cos my trust has been shot.
Mama tiger defending her cub or what!!

Oh god I just never seem to know when to stop typing.
What comes after a disertation!
Short stories!?

vbab i had a similar problem in the last week of school

dd2 (5) was in the playhouse at school when 2 boys in her class told her to pull her pants down, silly girl did and the ta came in and sorted the situation out. The teacher told me and i spoke to dd who really didn't know what she had done wrong. The school say this happens regularly in reception and no to worry but the worse part was 1 of the boys had asked dd to do this before at a birthday party behind a sofa.

I am putting it down to kids being kids and not understanding the consequences and hopefully they will learn not to be showing anyone any part of there body for a long time to come.

Bookmarking. Will read more of thread later and respond. Just got back from sil's. Had a lovely time. So so so good to be home though.
Fudge, so sorry that s therapist waste time. Will get back to you on this one later. What kind of tongue tie do you have ? remind me ?

Just book marking, got back from hols earlier but drowning in washing and Becca mardy as hell!

Bookmarking. Will read more of thread later and respond. Just got back from sil's. Had a lovely time. So so so good to be home though.
Fudge, so sorry that s therapist waste time. Will get back to you on this one later. What kind of tongue tie do you have ? remind me ?

Bookmarking. Will read more of thread later and respond. Just got back from sil's. Had a lovely time. So so so good to be home though.
Fudge, so sorry that s therapist waste time. Will get back to you on this one later. What kind of tongue tie do you have ? remind me ?

sorry, don't know what is going on there !

twink keep on your soap box please its good to vent and I agree with you. Thank you.
tegan i like you think a lot of stuff kids are kids. BUT this has happened to DS twice in a row and i see it as bullying. Also this time the one that asked him to do it is 6 and definately knows better the little s**t! Never mind his behaviour to me and his mum after she had laid the law down. She either wasnt hard enough on him or he just doesnt respect his mother or care.

Well the bad mum of the year goes to me AGAIN. As if I wasnt still realing from my bad behaviour to DS after "the incident" yesterday I have been even worse this eve. I REALLY HATE MYSELF. DONT DESERVE MY KIDDIES. DS all day has been saying one line nasty things to me and stuff like "go back inside and be quiet" . He is 3 . I have been lovely with DS all day and done nice stuff for him but he has been saying these comments so gradually upsetting me. Then when time to come home he SCREAMS he doesnt want to come home and wants to stop at nans house (but he had screamed this earlier at the end of a morrisons shop). DS continues this in the car then at home. I have had enough and told him "bath and bed". HE FLIPS and screams even louder for the next 20mins . By which time i am a cold faced bitch (my defense mechanism) and ignore him or tell him not interested. After he is bathed and in pjs we come downstairs. I am so hurt i didnt want him near me. After another 30mins or so I come around and we make up. But as always am i now realising what a nasty cold s*t i am. Yes DS has been a s*t and the screaming is terrible. But he is 3 and i am the adult and his parent. I am now left on my own as DH gone to pub and kiddies in bed just thinking and hating myself.

I'm so sorry for off loading onto this thread. I should really get a diary and leave you ladies to have nice chats about your beautiful kids.

ah vbab all our kids are little sh*ts at times. His behaviour, believe it or not, is normal, and that's not to say your behaviour isn't, you are just taking it too personally. 3 year olds do test boundaries so much, and in a way by the behaviour they show are asking to be boundaried by parents so they feel secure. It is a pain in the neck when they are so trying, and it is hurtful, but developing a thicker skin will really help. He loves you and wants to feel secure, and part of that is testing you. Set him really clear rules that he can understand, maybe illustrating it through a picture, and go through it with him every time he tests you.
hope this helps, and hope I don't sound like I'm criticising you, you are a good mother, and he knows it.

hello everyone - I know it's been a while, but after my stalker, I have been reluctant to post. I have been reading everyday though!

vbab I have been bought out of "hiding" as I really wanted to respond to your post. I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, as this comes from my heart and of course is totally genuine and out of concern. I know you have been borderline for PND, and having your ups and downs, but I have to say as a mother of a nearly 6 year old, and as fingeroffudge has said, the way the 6 year old acted is totally within the realm of a 6yo boy. It really is all "poo" and "bottom" and expecially if they get a chance to play "topdog" or egg on a yougner child (always my DS2 in my case, DS1 loves getting him into trouble, and quite often tells him to do naughty things!) Being in contact with numerous kids this age, it is totally normal. HOWEVER, this does not excuse how the parent reacted.

My main concern though is for YOU. You seem very up and down and almost sad. Not unhappy as anyone can see how much you adore your kids, but it seems to me, as if you are struggling. Please don't think I am speaking out of turn, as I would really hope that someone would point it out to me if I was so "up and down" and I know someone said yesterday to you about PND and I have to say, I really think it could be a possibility. THere are quite a few symptoms there, no interest in sex, up and down mood swings, anger, sadness and irritability. This is all hormonal which of course PND is - a chemical imbalance. Do you think it could be a possibility???

Huge hugs to you and of course everyone else. I will stay online tonight and stuff my stalker!

xxxxxxx

X post fingeroffudge but similar post again and words of wisdom! Reckon it's coz we got older kids?!! My 3 year old is a saint compared to my 1st born!

Vbab I so agree with Finger - DS is just testing you and doesn't mean any of the things he is saying. DS1 quite often says to me 'I don't love you' (usually coinciding with me telling him to stop doing something or telling him off) and I just say 'that's ok, I love you anyway' - I don't want him to grow up thinking my love for him is conditional (iyswim). I totally agree that you need to develop a thicker skin and realise that DS doesn't understand what he is saying and is not doing it to hurt you. Or if you can't do that, just go and give him a kiss, say 'I love you' and walk away.

I really hope this doesn't upset you even more but I just wanted you to know that DS1 is exactly the same - it must be their age.

You are a good parent so stop doubting yourself and don't feel you have to stop offloading on here - if it helps you, then carry on doing it

Catching up slowly. Minor trauma as G'pa ( my dad) in hosp with a heart problem he has had it before but it is till scary but am so glad I am here just to support all concerned -
Dozy lovely to see you back and 'Hello stalker have a good read ...... '
Will try to read what I have missed maybe tom as been up since 3.30am...Mind you the 999 boys were lovely pity I had my Bf old jim jams on !!!!

dozy nice to see you . Wish I could take you to my doctor's appt next week to explain "how i have been" because I WILL FORGET or just not say anything. BIG thanks to you and ceebee. You are gems. I def need to be thicker skinned in SOOOO many situations but especially DS. I have always been a VERY emotional person but never on occasion out of control and feel so easily hurt. With DH ok but a 3yr old?! It is stupid. I completely agree with all said. One big problem with DS though is HE IS MY EMOTIONAL DOUBLE but not my level of understanding. Whether it be anger or upset all emotions are STRONG and POWERFUL. Poor love inheriting such baggage.

rosa sorry x post. Thinking of you and hoping your dad home soon. Dont worry about the pjs i'm sure you are stunning in anything. Might be the type of thing the 999 boys are into .

vbab so youhave a Dr appointment, that is good. very good. would it help if you made a list of what you want to say? I am the queen of lists and find it really helps me to organise my thoughts.......If you can go to the Dr with a list of examples, then even better!

rosa how is your dad now???? I know what you mean about emergency service chaps, every time I see a fire engine I encourage the kids to wave - Phworagh!!!

On a funny note ... I think Alyssa may have chewed my mobile phone for the last time. I have had to leave it to dry out as it is squeaking due to drool and is doing random things when the battery in. That poor phone has been through the wars but has survived so many accidents. Not even trying to get a new phone as I love it.

Going for a takeaway and beers at "the friends" house Sat night with DH and A (DS at my mums). Determined to have a nice night.

Love to Vbab x
Rosa Sorry about your dad. Hope he makes a speedy recovery x

ellie thaks for the request, we are now friends

dozy how wonderful to have you back with words of wisdom, please come back for good (take that pun not intended)you are very much missed, also give us an update on youre brood whats been going on hun.

vbab I really didn't meant to offend and i am so so so so so sorry if you took any of my comments with offence. please forgive me.

I have been up and down all night with O, i really need to get him going to bed awake so he learns to settle himself because if he wakes a second time he thinks it is time to get up and at 2.30am it is no fun.