Nov 2008 - because there was no thread space to think of a clever title!

[Yorky]

Had to be done soon, hope it works!

yay, I got an early night last night. bumble had a feed at ten, and then tah was him until 6 this morning.....the good nights are definately getting closer together!! DH got up with him as well and I got to go back to bed for anouther few hours; still feel coldy and knackered

vbab, for you; it's horrible when people just expect you to fit around them, and having to constantly make the effort. We feel a bit like that with DH's parents. They look after his brother's kids two or three times a week so that they don't have to shell out on childcare so that SIL can go back to work, so we are constantly being slotted in around that. DH thinks that BIL takes the piss a bit as he expects rather than asks, but they are on the doorstep and we aren't, so.....

bloody DD just kicked bumble in the head! He has a big red lump on his forehead

Sun What sun its all buggered off again leaving rain and a cold wind !!!
Vbab sorry about the upsets - we are here with my parents and its lovely to have them to rely on - just to look after 1 really.
Buzz well done on the Morrisons might pop in and have a look !
Sue welcome back and 6 teeth !! None here but we have made progress on the crawling front - in 2 days.
Minirosa can get from one side of the room to another sort of crawling bunny bum hopping and on her tum she knows what she wants and goes for it. NIght are still a bummer for us I feed her once only and other times do cuddle and put down or re stuff dummy but she is a monkey !

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcome back. I missed you all in my weeks in the internet wilderness.

Teeth No one is more surprised with the 6 teeth than I am. DD1 only had 2 on her first birthday.

ellilou It was me with the cyst thankfully. I wonder who that was. Hope whoever it was is ok now.

vbab sorry to hear about the in-laws issues.

daisy my dh is a web designer so if you have any questions ask away and I will do my best to pass on the info. He deals mainly with small businesses so he might have some suggestions.

ladybuzz well done to your ds. I know we all think our own kids are beautiful but it is lovely to hear other people think so too.

fudge sorry about the eating issues your lo is having. When I was weaning dd1 she had a tendency to gag and choke a lot but dd2 is so different. Hasn't gagged once. Interesting about the Liga - they are very popular here in Ireland but I know they always made dd1 gag more than the Farleys rusks did.

monkey and cricri thanks for the ideas regarding the night feeds. We are mostly co-sleeping too because I was finding it so hard to get up in the night. Amy does seem to be genuinely hungry for these feeds and drinks loads at night. The health visitor thinks I should stop the night feeds and she will increase day feeds to compensate but I am worried that if she wakes up hungry and I deny her food I won't be able to settle her again.

Hope I haven't missed anyone.

welcome back suiledonn.
Fudge, hope appointment goes well with speech therapist. My heart goes out to you. We are not having any probs with food, but I have noticed that M's tongue is considerably larger on the right hand side than the left. I suppose that snipping it has released it and now it does flap around more than a normal tongue.
Will see you guys in a week. Off to sil's.
We have very very bad nappy rash. And diahorea. For many days now. Can only assume teething. M has been very unsettled, going to bed later and waking up for a feed. Hope this all ends soon !! Mind you nothing compared to some of you others - cricri, twinkling, etc. sympathy.
Best get packing. Think I will need coats and wellies rather than suntancream !!

No teeth here. Still !

Hi Suiledonn! Good to have you back.

Obs have a lovely time! Hope the nappy rash improves.

Fudge I hope the speech therapist comes up with something for you.

We had everyone in our bed last night, Mimi very unsettled, DD1 sleeping diagonally, DS perched on the edge. I'm not exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning!

Cricri hope you are getting better sleep!

I hope it's a kingsize bed pinky!

have a nice time obs and see you in three weeks as I'm off for a fortnight on Saturday . Might take the laptop and sneak off to somewhere that has free wifi though; I have tester forms to complete and may drop in and say hello.

have you seen anyone about M's tongue? or is this something that will resolve naturally.

fudge, I hope you get some answers.

barbs, if you're lurking, I hope things are OK with you; not seen you for a few days and I've been worrying about W and his allergies.

bad night here as well; mostly me, but some bumble, with a cough and sore throat. I had a really funny turn before bedtime, palpitations, sweating and a rush of heat from my feet to my head. If I hadn't been sitting down I think I would have keeled over . Feeling a bit drained and woozy today still.

pinky we have a super king sizse and when dd2 gets in i have no room either.

Tomorrow O will be 8 months and he is just so lazy, no teeth, no crawling, no standing, no drinking (except milk), sitting but not confidently.

But he has started saying MUMMY hooray, i was sick of hearing daddy constantly. and we have even had ta a couple of time.

sleep O is settling better in the evenings but has nights of waking for a quick bottle and is up mainly at 5.30

ladybuzz - congrats on DS1 win . You must be so proud.
ceebee congrats on the potty training. DS (3yr) is i think finally potty trained in the day. Yet to approach night time training. Training in the day seems to have taken forever. He does sometimes have his "off" days but most of the time we realise the accidents happen because he is poorly of hasnt pulled his trousers down enough. I still find it weird when DS insists on weeing stood up. I am still scared that when he forces the wee IYSWIM he will poo stood up .
Milk and Sam's lack of interest. Not sure it is a bad thing as with weaning they are meant to drop milk intake. Would speak to HV though. Alyssa is gradually getting more interest in solids but when she kicks off I will give her a couple of oz of milk then she will continue with solids. For the last week she has seemed to come around to being spoon feed, although loved finger food, but before then was a right mare to feed. It was so frustrating. Hopefully she will keep on with the solids now. She has been eating same as DS but just blended up. Although she was eating cheese and bread for t last night.
lacka congrats on early night and sleep through. i should really go to bed early but just dont. Although DS was acting weird yesterday and even had a nap in the car in PM. He then went to bed after 7 but played silly buggers until 9 when I let him down for 5 mins and a glass of milk but he just didnt seem himself. He went to bed then but was in my bed at 5.30am. All this is soooo out of character and he normally goes to bed and sleeps through. We even have to wake him for nursery. Not sure what was going on there.
suiledonn Hi . Just try what HV says and then use your own judgement. Thats what i do. Just be strong and give it a fair go.
obs sorry to hear about M being poorly. Prob will be teeth. DS used to be the same. Alyssa does seem to suffer from bad nappies when teething i think or it could just be because of more solids. Dont worry about no teeth Alyssa got 2 teeth at once M might be the same. Although no more since. Hope you have a nice time at SILs.
tegan dont worry about O. I bet he will do it all at once and you will wish he had done it slower. Congrats on the mummy . Alyssa has shouted it only a couple of times. But for the most part mumbles it when upset and she wants me.

THANK YOU for all your lovely supporting comments regarding ILs. You are spot on about DH feelings ... his anger, upset, embarassment, knowing your parents are sts but love them and dont want to feel that way and so on. MIL UPDATE after it all happened saturday and she left the "i have landed message" as we didnt answer the phone she phoned on Sunday and DH spoke to her. She laid the guilt trip on saying stuff like why didnt DH answer the phone and his dad felt bad when DS didnt want to stop with him and was crying . DH said she got defensive straight away and was in denial. Turns out she had gone shopping AFTER bingo so that was why she was home 2 hours late for her grandson that she has once a fortnight and hardly sees. The phone call then just ended as DH couldnt talk to her. DH was of course more mixed up emotions wise which made good for our Sunday . He said how it is typical of her (and his dad) to put blame on others and make others feel bad. She asked to have DS to take him to a play centre . DH told her no. I said to DH sorry but she can bollocks. She only has asked because amazingly she feels guilt. No chance no more. Straw that broke the camels back. DH as if his upset wasnt bad enough now has a rock and hard place situation regarding his mum and dad and time with DS. I think they can both bollocks. Too many wasted chances. Not like we saw them much anyway. Am I too hard? I just feel like my and DCs lives wouldnt be harmed by them not being in it. They have my parents whom are amazing and very involved and just dont sit on their arses when GC are there.

On a good note with the exception of ILs. Sat and Sun was lovely family time which trust me doesnt happen often.

lol Tegan/Daisy yes it's a super kingsize bed but with the DC sleeping diagonally (why o why do they do that??) there is no room for anything more than a perch on the edge!

And Tegan that's fabby with the mummy thing, mimi is still on gagaga.

vbab glad you are feeling a bit happier today.

LB congratulations on the win- does this mean you are going to become one of those moggeling mums??

Hi!
I am lurking - bit under the weather we are with a cold and a thick head so when it comes to posting I can't remember who said what
Thanks daisy for thinking of us just waiting for an appointment with the dietician now - I so want to give W a bit of variety, I mean I change the veggies/ meat/ fruit but it is basically the same style meal every day (a roast) (I'm getting really good at roast pots!!) But must be doing something right - got him weighed last week and he was just over 23lbs
Hope evryone's o.k - sorry for the me post xx

barbs you must be pleased about W's weight, O was weighed last week and he was 21lb 1oz, but i do get everyone telling me he is a "porker" alot even though he isn't a huge eater.

This week O has dropped his afternoon bottle so we are down to 1 at breakfat 1 at bed and 1 in the night which is fine by me.

my parents came home from weekend away yesterday thank god, i know they only went for 2 nights but it's horrible not seeing them for a whole 2 days.

School hols mission - get dd2 riding her bike without stabilisers and get dd1 to look after herself and have a little self respect, how easy is all that going to be??

Forgot to say O is 8 months old today, how time flies

Morning
ceebee well done to your ds1, thats really good.
rosa when do you go home to the sun?
obs & juanitad have lovely holidays
daisy hope you feel better after your "turn" has that happened before?
vbab glad you had a nice weekend with your family after all that.
pinky lol at the 5 in the bed
barbs hope you feel better soon.
tegan Millie is on about 3 bottles a day now but I dont want her to drop much more yet as she wont take anything else no matter what I try, I have tried 3 different cups, with just water then a little bit of juice, in sheer frustration last week I gave her some water in her bottle then a little bit of juice but she just wont take anything and I really dont want to give her juice out of a bottle. Does anyone have any advice??
Well I am mightly pissed off today, DH was meant to be home tomorrow but his back to back hasnt showed up so he is stuck and wont be home till at least friday I know its just a few days more but after 4 and a half weeks I need some adult company and just to go to the shops on my own, and I have needs lol

Morning all,

Have been away the last few days, so have missed lots! Will try to catch up if P lets me today, but hope mums and babies are all doing well. P absolutely loved his first holiday, there was just so much going on he was never bored (and he gets bored very easily!). He coped really well in the heat as well, the day we arrived in Barcelona was 39 degrees, a record for Barcelona apparently, but it didn't seem to bother him. We were in Spain for a friend's wedding, which was lovely. I must admit though that I am very glad to be home, it was quite a stressful experience all in all. I think I probably rather naively thought that a holiday would be a lovely relaxing experience, but with an 8 month old baby it was quite the opposite! P had no interest in sleeping at all and I got myself all wound up about his lack of sleep. He was just too excited to sleep I think! So I am quite knackered now and hoping he will get back into some kind of sleep pattern now we are home, although he's never been the best sleeper anyway! 4 new teeth have popped up while we were away, the 4 top ones to add to the 2 bottom ones. There is an enormous gap between his middle top 2 teeth, is that normal?

Anyway, sorry this has all been me me, I'll go and catch up with everything now and be back later.

Ellilou I have another month here and am hoping it gets better . Dh has another 2 weeks or so ......Heavens have just opened down here !!!!
Juanitad glad you had nice holiday and well done on teh teeth.
Daisy how are you feeling ..and Bumble ?
Due to over spending I left my debit card in M&S this morning ....I wonder if my bank is telling me something !!!

baby's weight...erm......absolutely no idea. Getting to clinic is such an ordeal with two of them that I just never bother. I weighed myself and then bumble and got him about 22lbs, so near enough I guess. I have no idea even where his red book is

been shopping this am...nightmare, but got DD some (boy's) trainers in clark's sale as they didn't have a single size 6F in the bloody shop in girls shoes plus some jeans and a shirt for DS1 in the remains of Next sale. Nothing for me again though

Glad you had a good time juanita, but sorry about P not sleeping; holidays always throw them out of routine ime, but they soon get back into it.

Barbs, I hope your dietician appointment comes through soon, and that it wasn't us who passed on the cold to you.

DD and bumble both have a really sore cough; they have gravelly voices and everytime they cough are crying out with pain . I still have horrible sinus pain and feel very dizzy but am definately much better.

I have decided on a name for my nappy business and have registered the domain etc....we are now officially called..........Bumblebums, so thanks to No2 son for the idea . now if anyone wants to design me a logo of a cartoon bee wearing a nappy I would be v v grateful

Daisy bumblebums - love it What a fab name!! Hope you all start to feel better soon! (FWIW, I took DS1 to Clarks yesterday and they had about 5 different shoes in a 7.5F in - of course DS1 didn't want any of them as he just wanted his old Thomas trainers on )

Juanitad glad you had a nice time in Spain but I think you have described perfectly why we have not been abroad since DS1 was born I am too much of a 'routine' freak I think and I just know I it would all go to pieces if we went away

Ellie I think you are entitled to be feeling a little about your DH - 4.5 weeks is long enough without it suddenly being extended. I would be feeling exactly the same!

Barbs hope you get your appointment soon so you can get W sorted. 23lbs is great so you are obviously doing something right Hamster was just over 20lbs last week when I had him weighed.

As for milk feeds, whatever was up with Hamster seems to have resolved itself. He is still not drinking huge amounts of milk but is probably (just about) having the recommended 18oz a day now. I remember DS1 dropping his 2 daytime feeds at about 9 months (ish) but I was ok with that as he was downing a 9oz bottle at morning and at bedtime so was still having the recommended amount - whereas Hamster probably only has 5oz at a time.

ellie sorry to hear DH not home until Fri. The time will fly by.
lacka Sorry to hear you and your babies are poorly and suffering. Love the business name and well done DS2 . He has a future in marketing .

Things good here with the kiddies. Heard back from work and going in a week on Wednesday to "discuss" . I somehow think they dont like my proposal of less hours. Not looking forward to it. Things good with just the occassional kiddy "try it on" but good. But to be honest Im having very negative thoughts about mine and DH future. We have been together since I was 18 and him 21 so 13yrs of which 4yrs marriage. He's my only serious relationship. I care about DH so much but I dont think i love him anymore. He does tell me he loves me most days although apart from that doesnt really show it. We just seem to be getting on with raising the kids, no us except for the more frequent massive arguements . We had a massive telephone arguement yesterday when i phoned him all happy to talk about A hospital appt and he answered phone nasty, misread my tone and it went from there. He was swearing at his work colleagues about being fed up of this when he thought he had hung up . Since i have been imagining life without DH and all the emotional and financial implications for me and kids. More negatives than positives. Never imagined that i would end up considering divorce and putting two kids through having seperate parents, probably a mum that works all the hours just for us to pay the bills and putting DH through not seeing his kids morning and night . On top of this negative thinking we have got a wedding and the kids christenings in sept then of course A 1st b'day so if i do decide to do anything i have no clue about timing it.

Really need help and guidance. I dont want to rush things and i'm probably too chicken anyway but on the same note dont what to still be thinking this way in years to come.

sorry to keep hassling you ladies with my pitiful woes. Just there is no one i can talk to . Everyone is too close to the situation IYSWIM.

vbab, sorry you are feeling like this re DH

I wish I had some advice for you, but like you wouldn't even know where to start. I do know however, that being a single parent isn't the end of the world, and is doable with lots of help if you need it ie tax credits etc. I used to get all my childcare costs covered and I had a good wage (mid £20K mark) as well as money each month from DH (or ex DP as he was then). Emotionally, the DC will cope better than you think; they are both young enough to adapt well to whatever situation they are in, and some might argue that two stable homes are better than one unstable one.

you seem to have been unhappy for such a long time, maybe a trial separation might actually be good for both of you to work out what you both want.

It's not easy to talk about things online, especially on an open forum like this iyswim, but I'm happy to meet up for a coffee and a chat once I'm back from my hols if you like. Pity on the timing though, as I'm too busy this week and then off for two.

ikwym about the raising kids and no "us time" though; DH and I are little more than housemates at the minute, and I don't know of it's to do with BFing and being pawed at by children all day, but I just want to retreat into my own little space after the DC are in bed, and there is just no room for DH in there....he is very patient thankfully, but his (infrequent) mild digs about getting "his" boobs back get met with the contempt they deserve!!

{{{{hugs}}}}}

vbab, so sorry you are feeling like this. I know that my relationship with DH has changed since P was born, I guess it's the same for most people after having children, but like Daisy says, you do seem to have been unhappy for quite a while. Would it be worth going to marriage counselling or something like that? Maybe talking to someone totally objective could help both of you figure out where you are and where you want to be. Do you think DH would be willing to do that?

i completely understand how things can change between a couple over the years never mind after kids. But when is enough enough? When do you call time on a relationship especially when it will probably cause more upset? I feel like I care alot about DH but not sure if it's love anymore.

Thing is I can only see DH flipping his lid if I mention splitting, trial seperation or counselling. As once after Alyssa I said about us splitting and he hit the roof saying it is one of my emotions. Even though a seperation sounds a half way house not sure how it would work. What would DH do? Would me a and kids move out? How long? SORRY just soo much to think about.

Hi vbab. Am lurking trying to cook dinner but just had to post something. I hope you don't mind me being honest with you.
Obviously I don't know you in RL so I am just going with what I "know" of you on here.

It is true for most of us that relationships take a back seat when the kids are small, and it's like having a work colleague sometimes and the kids are the project. Relationships shift as the kids get older and you get more time just for the two of you.

However, it strikes me that you haven't been happy for a while. Not necessarily with DH I mean, just in general. You've had a lot of hassles and trying to read the tone of how you see those hassles makes me wonder if you are a bit PND?? Sorry, I hope I haven't upset you of anything suggesting that. It's just that this might be the time you actually really need support, and if you could maybe confide in DH about how upset you are with him, with all sorts of other things, then maybe you can tackle it together in more of a team way.?? It's hard to read tone in a posting, but I think you are unhappy and sometimes feel overwhelmed by smaller issues as well.

I really hope you don't mind me saying all this, it is just to try and help and guide you. I accept i may be way off mark with this, it's just my feeling.

Take care and don't rush into any decisions x

Oh vbab are you ok honey will be back later as cooking dinner.
daisy love the name