June09: the one where we learn to type with one finger

[Tee2072]

Hi all and welcome to our first post-natal thread! Nappy's, colic and burping OH MY!

Come join the conversation as our baby's grow and grow.

hiya everyone sorry not been able to catch up as much as i would like been totally run down over the past couple of weeks what with my 'visitors' back and excuse the pun but its a right pain in the ass lol but I'm so run down now I have ulcers and thrush
Sarah been doing great now sleeping thro the night ( well 5am I count as thro the night) and her colicky spell seems to be fading
We're off to liverpool next weekend to stay with DH's aunt and I am so looking forward to it!

I hope everyone else is ok and that babies are thriving, and I will try and catch up with everyone soon x

Hello ladies!!

Haven't posted for aages, but read through this morning and AGAIN am amazed at how we are all leading parallel lives.

Agree w whoever said that Month 3 has its challenges, and also re the description. This period has been v difficult for me as have had 6 weeks of visitors staying w us from OS. Inc my (divorced) parents w whom I have difficult relationships (mainly Mum, but Dad is v high maintenance and was like haivng another child in the house!! ). Ended up wondering if I had PND as felt I wasn't coping. Think that have just had too much on my plate trying to look after Delie plus visitors. We have more visitors coming to stay, but that's the majority over. Phew!!

LittleSarah - have always thought that you cram a lot into your life - even when heavily pregnant you were studying while looking after your little DD. If possible, sounds like excellent advice to take it a bit easier until Alex is a little older and you are better placed to start a new business. I also feel like I would like to bring in income, so I understand how you feel.

MrsMcJnr - have to jump in w my 2 pence worth here... Am so sorry to hear your DH is speaking to you like this, and feel that now is the time to act to address this. If for no other reason that once things are said they cannot be taken back. So even if your DH realises in a few months what he has said and is truly sorry, he can't undo the damage done. A friend of mine fell out of love w her fiance due to his bad behaviour. He realised that he loved her and tried to win her back. She tried to make it work but the love had gone. 3 years later she still can't see him anymore as he gets too emotional. From your earlier posts, ie him telling you how wonderful you are, sounds like he is behaving out of character (ie prob doesn't mean what he is saying - just lashing out rather than dealing w what is actually bothering him), but that doesn't stop you being devastated and confused. I would be. Plus, it does appear to be getting worse. Am thinking of you and sending you my silent support!

Sending all you other lovely Juners a fond cherrio and hopes for a great Sunday! Have to go and drag DH and Delie out of their beds for lunch w friends!

Hi everyone, sorry its been such a long time since I have been on here!! Caelan has been sleeping really well at night, so have had more energy to get out and about in the day!!Have been reading whilst feeding though, gives me something to do whilst Caelan is stocking up!!!

naat so well done on the dissertation, you must be very proud of yourself! Whats the next step after that then? Good luck for the results in Nov. Hope you had fun with your visit from your Dad, that must be really nice! I don't really get to see my dad much, so when he does visit to see Caelan, its really nice, but wish I could see him more!

Choccie- what exactly is a 'playdate'? Is it when children come round to play with your children?! I've not really heard of it before! I've not really come across people dropping their children off with other people all the time?

Ermintrude- hope you had a nice time at the wedding! How was the weather? It has been pouring down here non-stop for over a week now, I would be really disappointed if it rained on my wedding day!! I know someone who rearranged her wedding because the long term weather forcast said it was going to rain in two years time when she had it booked- very organised! Much too organised for my liking though!

june hope you are having fun in France!

LittleSarah, happy anniversary for Sat, hope DH liked his gift? You were doing a book weren't you? Are you looking forward to your driving lessons??!

Tee- hope you had a nice day too. Love your gifts, how thoughtful are those earrings!! I think I would quite like the prezzies your DH got too!!

MrsMcJnr- Sorry you are having a bit of a struggle with DC, I'm not going to be much help to you I'm afraid, as I have no experience of this... yet!! Add me on Facebook if you get the chance, my surname is Lucking!!

That was a horrible this for your DH to say... I agree with bunnymother that you need to sort something soon, before it does get too late, and you do fall out of love with him. My DP has a horrible habit of trying to say the most shocking thing in an arguement like it is some kind of competition. I think because I ignore the horrible things he does say while argueing, he tries to crank it up a notch to have an impact. I think it frustrates him if he says something to me and it has no effect, so he says something he really doesn't mean, just to get a reaction. The difference seems to be that when he has calmed down, he comes to me, tail between legs, and says sorry, and you dont seem to be getting any apologies at the moment? You really could do with a bit more understanding from him.

Lauraloo- glad things are starting to settle down for you now and you are getting into a nice routine, it helps so much doesn't it!! Ooh, your visiting Liverpool? That's my neck of the woods!! Are you doing any sight seeing, or just seeing family? They have done loads of work in Liverpool City Centre and around the docks since they got the Capital of Culture 08. If the sun is shining, it is a really nice day!! Obviously, it is still nice if it rains, but, you know what I mean!!

Bunnymother- hope the PND stays away. I find the days when I know I am not going to see anyone, and I have not had much sleep, I feel really low. I think my mum senses it, and she usually pays me a visit the next day. Hope you are okay

Hi to everyone else... hope you are all well?

Will have to hurry this post up, as Caelan has just half opened one eye, and will want feeding any minute!! Things are still going well with the feeding, thank you all so much with your help when we were really struggling!!! I have a couple of things I would like your thoughts on though if you don't mind???

I set myself the short-term goal of 6 weeks bfeeding before I had Caelan, and now I have passed that I don't know when I should stop... I do enjoy it, but I think DP is really wanting to get involved now. He still hasn't given him a bottle. I said to him once I had passed 6 weeks, my next target was 4 months, and I think he was a bit disappointed. Don't get me wrong, he has been super super supportive, but I can read him like a book, and know he feels like he is missing out! It doesn't help that he is out of the house 7-7, and when he comes home, all Caelan wants to do is feed. He does have bath time as his little father-son time though. Also, everyone keeps asking me when am I going to stop feeding. No-one in my family has ever really bf, so its all very 'Little Britain' to them I know it shouldn't be about anyone else, but it is really difficult to carry on inspite of everyones opinion! Personally, I am amazed the negative reaction you get on something that is so good for your baby! I'm sure people wouldn't have two words to say to me if I was smoking 40 a day in the house around Caelan, that would just be relunctantly excepted, but breastfeeding- oh no, you must be stopping that soon?? Ideally, I would like to go on to 6 months, but have been saying 4 months to people, just to keep the disapproving looks at bay even when I mention to my mum that I am a bit worried that he is on the 25th centile, she says not to worry because 'he will be on the bottle soon anyway, wont he?'. My mum has been really supportive, dont get me wrong, but its just not something that people do around here!!!

Sorry for going on a bit there!! DP is out managing his football team today (that I used to play for 12 months ago!!), so bit lonely, and sick of the rain, but my friends are making the trip up for tea later, so looking forward to that! Think I might be brave and feed Caelan in front of them if he wants feeding while they are here, and see what comments I get!!

Hi All

The wedding party yesterday was FAB - in the grounds of a fantastic run-down country house owned by friends of the groom and held in a huge marquee so being overcast didn't matter (the rain held off). It was beautifully done - like an English country fete vibe, with home-made bunting in vintage fabrics and no two plates the same. The bride is a theatre stage manager so knows where to source everything. They did an Italian running buffet followed by billions of cakes and I ate so many platefuls of deli stuff and gorgeous sorts of cake I was a complete pig, and don't care . Also, lots of people to coo over Arthur and hold him when he wasn't feeding, which was great.

MrsMc I know that people are horrid to each other during arguments, but the very precise nastiness of that last comment is something else. He needs to think about what he said and acknowledge that throwing such a horrible comment at you is not just part of the cut and thrust of married life but something verging on bullying. However much people provoke each other there's no excuse for it . Saying nice things occasionally doesn't make up for it - he needs to work out that you deserve respect ALL the time!

bunny hope your next guests aren't so demanding and that you can have a good rest when they've gone.

Lauraloo nice to hear from you - sorry about your ailments but good to hear that S is sleeping better and has got rid of nasty colic

Worriedamy I will try to temper my words because I feel v strongly about this but am rather at your DH and mother being so blind about the benefits of b/f. Your DH can't really think it's a good enough reason to stop because he fancies a go with a bottle! And there's nowt wrong with 25th centile - so your boy isn't a great big one, what's the problem? Centiles show the normal range of ALL babies and as long as he's feeding and growing, he's doing just grand.
You've done a great job to get this far and if you are happy with b/f then continuing seems to make absolute sense. If you can just brush off your mum's comments with vague answers about stopping when you and baby feel like it maybe she'll stop making assumptions. And have you thought about expressing a bottle for DH to give baby while you have a haircut or go for a coffee with friends? That might be a compromise he'd accept, allowing him to feel more involved whilst not stopping the b/f. Now you've done so well with it, and want to carry on, it would be a real shame if family pressure put you off that course.

Hope I don't sound bossy . And that you find the way through it that makes you happy and relaxed about it.

Amy - I second ermin, if you are happy breastfeeding then think hard before stopping because others think you should, I think you could end up regretting it.

My dh has fed A a few bottles of EBM but that is not his main 'bonding time' He bathes him, chats to him, cuddles and plays with him. Feeding can be a bit boring to be honest, dh gets lots more interaction doing the other bits. Maybe you could find half an hour in the eve when you aren't feeding for this? S o he feels more involved? And as he grows and is a more settled routine you'll probably be able to find more of this time, and he'll get more alert and playful.

Also, mixed feeding could be an option? I know it can sometimes be risky in case baby won't go back on the breast but it can work. Your dh could give one bottle of formula a day and then you could breastfeed the rest of thei time? My dd was mix fed from about 6 months (stopped breast feeding about9/10 months). She probably only got formula a couple of times a week (when babysat or with her dad) but she would take both happily. And as ermin says you can express. I admit I found this very tough after the first few months, but others find it easier/have more determination!

Dh did love his book, and I think I have inspired a few others to try and do similar ones, bob's books should get a few new customers!

Happy Anniversary tee! Great pressies!

ermin - The wedding sounds amazing, glad you had fun. The food sounds heavenly.

MrxMcJnr - The men in your life are really causing you some heartache aren't they? At least your ds, being a child, is easy to understand and forgive. Although I'm sure it is frustrating. Your dh however has little, if any, excuse for his regular bouts of nastiness. It really isn't on.

Bunny - No wonder you considered pnd with all those visitors and less than amicable divorcees! I'm glad you survived! I think you are right re businesses, etc. I think I am so used to doing things - outside home and children - and I'm struggling to adapt.

Right, must get to the supermarket to get packed lunch bits!

Hope Sundays are going well where ever you are.

Thanks ermin and littlesarah... don't get me wrong, my mum was really supportive when it was difficult earlier on with the breastfeeding, and I think she is only trying to help. She got me loads of breastfeeding information, books, leaflets etc, and helped me with feeding him. I just think she sees it as maybe a 'getting him off to the best start' kind of thing, and it would make life easier for me if people could help with the feeding now he is a bit older. But I feel fine with feeding now, and we are getting plenty of sleep, so I don't really feel like I need the help!! Also, DP hasn't actually said he wants me to stop, I can just see that he wants to be involved with the feeding. I suppose I haven't really helped myself... one night I was feeding Caelan, and with the nipple shields it had just started to get comfortable, and I was beginning to enjoy it... I said to DP 'I love this, I wish you could experience it' meaning breastfeeding. He said 'I wish I could too', and I could see that he felt like he was missing out. I felt really bad then, because it was like I was rubbing his nose in it. He has also said it upsets him a bit when Caelan screams and screams with him, and in one second of him being with me and feeding, he is calm and settled and all snuggled up. I think he feels a bit redundant. And it doesn't help that his dad says its unrealistic for me to want to breastfeed for 6 months, because 'surely my 'system' wont be enough for him'. He is 75, and veeeeeery stuck in his ways. Why is it that old people are so against breastfeeding?!?!

Sorry, don't want to seem ungrateful of your advice...! I think I might express some milk in the next couple of days, give DP a treat! I was just worried about doing that incase it interfered with his feeding, but I would imagine there is less chance of that now?

worriedamy you don't sound at all ungrateful, fear not. Sounds like your DH is just having to get used to the fact that babies need their mums more than they need their dads for the first few months. It's just a lot more obvious for b/f babies, but just as true of f/f - the smells and sounds of mummy are the most familiar and reassuring senses a LO has at first, even though s/he will be able to enjoy a cuddle and playing with daddy. The point is, your DH can never know how lovely it can feel to b/f successfully and it's frustrating to be unable to comfort a screaming baby, but equally he'll never give birth and thereby experience the sensation of pooing a pineapple, so it's swings and roundabouts for boys .

As for expressing, it's worth a try. Arthur has only had the one bottle a week ago (at 8 wks) but was absolutely fine with it, if a little puzzled, and went straight back on the breast when I got home. DS1 would never take anything in a bottle but I think he's in the minority.

Your FIL sounds like he doesn't really understand about b/f. Tiny women can feed huge babies, your 'system' has been made for the purpose. How does he think the human race managed before someone decided to make powdered cow's milk? . Some people feel v uncomfortable about b/f for what are probably slightly Freudian reasons .

Good luck ! xx

ermin- I agree!!

It is a bit difficult for DP, he has a son who is 17 from his first wife, who was sadly very ill when he was born, and unfortunatley passed away when he was 5. So DP has done pretty much everything for him, from the minute he was born- which was at 28 weeks, so he needed a lot of looking after! I think he maybe finds it a bit hard not being so 'important' if you get what I mean! But obviously, he is loving the fact that Caelan is fit and healthy, which is all new to him! Anything beyond 28 weeks of my pregnancy was new to him inc. natural birth, breastfeeding etc etc!

Is Caelan old enough now to be left to sleep for as long as he wants, or do I still need to wake him after 3-4 (during the day, obviously!! No chance of me doing that in the night!!). He went through a stage of being desperate to feed, and was feeding every 2 hours or so, but now it seems his feeding patterns have calmed down a lot, and he is feeding every 3-4 hours instead. My concern is that he wont get what he needs during the day, and start to wake more at night? At the moment he is sleeping from 12-8, which is fantastic!!! Shall I keep offering a feed after 3 hours, so that he keeps sleeping through the night?

worriedamy, what a sad thing about your DH's lost son. I'd forgotten your DP was a bit older than you and am sure that changes in childbirth and child-rearing fashions take some getting used to. But Caelan will be daddy's boy in no time at all and all the rough and tumble, as well as lots of nurturing, will be shared much more evenly between the two of you. Your DP must be very proud of how well you and baby are doing

Those are great sleeping hours! Arthur still feeds in the day every 2 hours or so - he never sleeps for more than that until night time - so waking a sleeping baby seems a bt alien to me . If Caelan wasn't feeding enough to put weight on, or if long sleeps in the day stopped him putting together the hours at night, maybe it would be worth waking him for daytime feeds, especially if he responds well to it. Interestingly, one of the reasons women sometimes give formula is to prolong the night-time sleep but that's clearly not a problem here.

Hi Juners!!!

Wow, 2 days away and I feel I'm lost I've read all your posts so let's try and catch up.

Ermin, This is the Latin American warmth in me speaking: you're an amazing friend (I know the "friendship" we all have is special, in that we don't really know each other but I consider it quite important as well (ohhh I'm giving you all the ick now, aren't I? ) Sorry, I just wanted to say that The wedding you went to sounds absolutely fab! Glad you had such a great time, I'd have eaten cake after cake I have such a sweet tooth!!
LOVED the pineapple comment

Worried, I second the advice the ladies have given you. I would, first of all, not let others' comments re. bf put you off it if you're so happy doing it (esp. after ALL you went through, sweetie). I know it might be hard, esp. as no one you have around actually is pro-bf I'd try expressing a bit so that your DP can get to feed Caelan. I expressed from day 2 (loads and loads of milk and a tiny mouth not actually "unloading" them ) and DH got to feed her since then. Mila never got "confused" (neither with that or shields, as I told you). I don't do it too often now as I have a manual pump and it's boring! To be honest, here we have a similar situation as in LittleS's home DH takes advantage of cuddling Mila, talking to her, singing to her, playing with her and he quite enjoys all that. Maybe your DP feels it quite different as with his son we was soooo involved (due to the special circumstances) and he feels he's missing out on something when he could actually do many of the above and feel just as involved? I thing me not being a native might be giving me trouble here but I understood he lost his wife, not his son but now I'm all confused .. so sorry for his loss anyway. Ok, give expressing a try and see what happens. Just don't let comments make you do something you don't want, ok? (((hug)))

LittleS, hi! Happy anniversary!!! Hope you have a great time celebrating it with DH Oh yes, I got the idea from you and I'm loving the process of preparing DH's bob book They should give you and Daisy some credit for the publicity

Bunny, hi! I sent you a msg on FB Hope you're having a bit more rest these days. When are the new visitors coming?? (tired emoticon!) Hope you had a lovely wkend with DH and Delie

Lauraloo, hi!!! So lovely to hear Sarah is sleeping soooo well Grrr that your "friends" haven't left yet Hope they leave soon!!

Mrsmc, I really don't want to talk too much but it really sounds like your DH needs a sit-down. It's really really really not good that he treats you that way. I second what the ladies have said... ((a huge hug))). Hope DS settles soon and smoothly tonight and that you had a better day today.

llynn, hi! Hope you had better weather this wkend

Tee, happy anniversary!! Lovely lovely presents! How are you??

Choccie, ohhhhh I read your first post the other day but had NO time to answer but ohhhh GRRRRR I was boiling on your behalf!! How dare he! I know it can be hard to be a SAHD but that doesn't give him the right to just "dump" his DC on other people's houses and just disappear! What kind of dad is he being to his children? And you're being TOO patient with this, honey, not unreasonable AT ALL! Did I read an exact thread about this in the AIBU section a few weeks ago or did I dream it? I hope you manage to get the strength to put your foot down and don't let this happen to you, sweetie, you'll be exhausted! The idea of saying the DC have HW is good, maybe it's worth giving it a try? I know you don't want to be harsh as they are neighbours and it's awful to fall out with them but you deserve some peace. (((hug)))

Bigcar, hi!! Oh well, no ironing yesterday (secret yay! ) But I'm guessing you had to get to it today... hope you get it done soon!

June, oh, hope you're having a lovely time home Lovely wine/cheese My husband is sooo jealous Enjoy!!!

Phew, that was long! Sorry! I'll be as short as I can now...

These days have been lovely with my dad here. Yesterday we had the worst weather possible when going to York, and bad mummy had forgotten the raincover for Mila so it was a mess! I had to cover her with my raincover and we used umbrellas... oh well... We had a good time but came back home at 7 and started cooking and baking and we finished everything at 1am!!! I was absolutely knackered. Fortunately today went so well, the service was lovely, our friends were there with us, we couldn't have asked for more. The lunch back home went really well, the food was good and the cake was great! She got some lovely pressies as well. Afterwards we all had a 4hour nap and now feel much better.

right, Mila's calling!!! I'll have xposted loads as I've been typing for over an hour now but well...

Waves to all!!!

xxx

Hi Naat = Sounds like you had a lovely day. Was that Milas christening? I havcen't organised anything for Elina yet.
Sorry about the rain in York.Us mummy's have so many things to think about when packing up to go out. I have forgotten my raincover before too and its such a pain. You seem to be having a lovely time with your dad

RE: Neighbour - DS1 does get quite a bit of homework and reading so I wouldn't be telling porkies
When I was out with my pal yesterday dh texted me to tell me neighbour had dropped in his daughters . I was furious. It's becoming such a daily thing...I have spoken to dh about all of this and he thinks I am going over the top and that they are good people etc and I shouldn't rock the boat. I understand why he feels that way but its not him that has to deal with every day of the week. Anyway the girls didn't stay long so all was ok.

I think what has made me a little soft in all of this is that the sahd has 2 daughters and 1 of them was very ill ealier this year (some of you may remember). Anyway, she is much much better now but still cannot walk very well. She is a lovely child.
I will always help out if needed but only if arranged or emergency.The father needs to knuckle down and start taking care of his own children.

Worried - Don't let people pressure you into stopping BF. I am not a BF'er myself but my little sis went through a similar situation as you and it was horrible for her. She stuck with it and now is happliy BFing her 2nd lo

A "playdate" is simply when kids come around to play with your kids. I am involved in a lot of them .

Bunny - Hope you get some rest once all of your visitors have gone. I find that I am exhausted after more than a couple of hours of visitors without having them stay over etc. Whenever my parents come over we have a lovely time together but I am shattered once they leave. So much effort goes into meal planning/cooking and entertaining.

Laura - Sorry you are in pain again with "Visitors".Do you mind me asking how you are trying to get rid of them? it is so horrible and I really feel for you still suffering like this.You don't have to answer if you don't want to

Mrsmc - What is your dh like???? I was so angry reading your post and at how he has spoken to you. He has been so cruel to you so I'm not surprised you are feeling low. Husbands are supposed to be supportive and help us to feel good about ourselves and even though my dh has not been the greatest at these things over the last while, he doesn't ever say nasty things to me like that and he has pulled his socks up a good bit too. I agree with the others MN comments and really think he needs a serious sit down. If you don't give him a bit of a jolt he could continue like this and thats so unfair and it will make you miserable.I hope you can work something out (((hugs))).

My day out yesterday was fab.We had a lovely lunch, there was lots of chat and we had a couple of bottles of prosecco and a few other little drinky poos to keep us going .

Thank you so much bigcar, Naat, Little sarah and Ermin* for your advice re:neighbour. You are all so right. Thanks for your support on this.

Naat - congrats on getting your dissertation in

Ermin - that wedding sounded fabulous. Whats an Italian running buffet? Sounds lovely anyway.

ermin thank you, that was a lovely thing to say. DP does tell me he is proud of me, and proud of how well we are doing, and it feels lovely to hear it! Sorry- I don't think I explained myself very well before, it is a really sad story... DP unfortunatly lost his first wife, the mother of his first son, who is now 17 (and just gone off into the navy!). They picked up than she had Leukemia at one of her routine blood tests during the pregnancy, and so that they could start the chemo, she had a caesarean at 27+5. Luckily, DPs son was a good size considering his gestation (2lb 7ozs), and he is now a fit and healthy moody teenager! So sad though that DP's first wife was whisked away to a different hospital straight away to start treatment, so it was all down to DP. Horrible horrible situation. He had to take poloroid pics to show her so she could see what he looked like. They did take her by ambulance to the other hospital a couple of times to see her son, but obviously they couldn't do it very often. Sadly, she never really recovered fully, and 5 years later she passed away, leaving DP and his son, aged 5 at the time. Such a horrible situation. Very very sad. So obviously, a healthy 'normal' newborn routine is all very new to DP, and he has admitted to me that he doesn't feel important or responsible. But obviously he wouldn't swap it for the world.

naat thank you again, you were a bit help with the whole nipple shield thing!! I know what you mean by thinking people are really good friends, it seems to strange never actually having met anyone!!

chociedooby it maybe seems like you have been to kind for your own good! It is really difficult to start saying no though isnt it!

Naat that's very sweet of you to talk about friendship. We Brits should all be more Latino in our outlook, I think, it would warm us up during the long winter months. . And it seems your grasp of the English language is much better than mine! - so sorry I misread your post worriedamy, and to hear about your DH's poor wife, but very glad that his lad is now a strapping 17 yr old.

choccie the buffet was all Italian deli stuff - meats, pastas, salads, breads, cheeses etc. along with a huge ham and salmon - which the caterers just kept replenishing so that you could keep going back and there would be more fresh stuff for the evening guests. The food was heavenly!

Hey ladies

Laura ? are you taking multi-vits hon? You sound very run down. Take good care of yourself.

Bunnymother ? wow, the parents? stay must have been very stressful for you! Thanks for supporting me I confronted DH this morning, he said nothing but did look sheepish.

Worriedamy ? welcome back! Sounds like the feeding it going well, that?s great! sorry to hear your DP is horrible in arguments too, as you say, at least he apologises. Sorry to hear about all the negative comments about BFing, I got them too, mostly from my Mum, she just keeps quiet now. BF is established now so you could express and let your DP give him a bottle in the evening? That would give you a break and let DP get involved with feeding if he feels he wants too. We did that with DS and it worked really well. DH would give DS a bottle of expressed milk after his bath at @7pm which meant I had lots of milk and felt refreshed for his 10pm feed. I personally try to never wake a sleeping baby. Sorry to hear about your DP?s first wife, it is such a sad, tragic story and I can?t imagine how he and his DS got through those first 5 years.

Ermintrude ? glad you had a great time it sounded fab! Thanks for your words, I agree with you, I was really reeling after that comment, still am, how do you make up for that? Wishing your so called life partner and mother of your children dead. As Bunnymother so perceptively mentioned, one?s love for someone does start to dwindle when you are repeatedly let down by them and whilst I cannot breathe at the thought of not being with my DH at the moment, my love for his has not exactly grown recently. I also think that having children means you have an outlet for your love and affection and therefore if DH withholds it from me and vice versa it doesn?t hurt as much as it used to but in fact it is damaging our relationship and how much can it stand before that damage is irreparable?

Littlesarah ? how was dinner? I am so lucky to have Aaliyah, when the ?boys? are getting me down she is such a joy. That said, DS had a nap today and was back to being my funny little chappie this afternoon

Naat ? so glad you had a lovely time on Mila?s special day appreciated that hug, thank you. Lovely what you said, MNetters like you are my life line when I cannot talk to people close to me about things (like DH) x

Choccie ? your day out sounded fab you deserved it too! Surely your DH doesn?t think its right that you have to look after the neighbour?s kids so often? Thanks for your kind words. I don?t recognise my DH as the man I married at the moment, that man saw the good in everyone and thought I was fabulous. It?s a vicious circle, maybe if we were intimate it would help us get closer again but I am so hurt I don?t want him anywhere near me.

Hi All.

How are you all? Sorry I haven't been on for a while- but I'm back!

Apart from FB I've not been online much- due to try and get Flynn back to normal I think the last time I was on, he was being a monkey. I took the summer holidays to bring him back to nice Flynn- it seems to have worked. Hes back to pre-school today, so fingers crossed he behaves!!!! Lol I also had the wonderful task of potty training!!! Yuk yuk and more yuk. I love being a mum, but thats the only part I don't enjoy!! We have mastered the weeing but still like to poo in his pants, floor anywhere other than the potty or loo!!! Any advice extremely welcome.

Rupert is now 14weeks and its going to quickly, I want him to stay little for ever! Hes duel fed, I do alternate bf anf ff-- this also helped with the Flynnster- as I had more time with him, while Rupert slept for longer. We have had the all clear from the consultant- but welcome to go back for reassurance. I was very paranoid about swine flu and kept Flynn of pre-school for the last week of term, as there was a couple of cases there. he suffering from his first cold and enjoying some amoxicillin- I'm NOT enjoying the nappies!! Hes full of smiles and trying to chuckle- I love him sooooo much.

I've joined a gym!! had did a proper session yesterday- weighed myself this morning and lost 3lb!! happy days xxx

I'm also planning on doing some work after Christmas- just some nursery nurse work in SCBU- then next Sept I'm planning on doing a return to nursing course- The ward sister saw me in ASDA the other day and asked if I'd handed my application in yet- so thats good news!!!

I haven't had a proper read of the posts- six weeks is a lot to catch up on-- but will try and get it done inbetween feed, pre-school runs and coffee afternoons.

I've missed you all and look forward to chatting soon xxxxx

Effie - I know I have all the fun of toilet training to come but I can sympathise on having a monkey of a DS, mine has been very wilful recently but he is having a nap now so I can't complain! hope Rupert is feeling much better x

Hi MrsMc. Great to have you FB- your children are gorgeous- hopefully DS will start behaving for you soon- It takes them a while to readjust to not being the baby! It taken until now for Flynn to really bond with Rupert and he now adores himx Hopefully things will get better for you soon. I read a bit about your DH and his behaviour too--- hmmmmmm .. Hopefully he will realise what a prat hes being and hes a lucky man to have a beautiful wife and beautiful kids xxx

Ruperts snuffling through a FF at the mo-- but smiling at the same time xxx

Sending you lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxx

morning all hope babies and mummies are well. everytime i post now i try to reply to people but brain is mush just now i cannot remember who said what lol here goes...

effie wish i had the motivation like you to join a gym. I had joined one before i fell pregnant and did spinfit and gym work every day but when i fell pregnant and had a miscarrige scare i quit, will need to get back to some form of exercise prob go back to karate. Glad to hear Rupert is doing well and that Flynn enjoys pre-school, fingers crossed the pooing in potty gets better x

mrsmcjnr Glad to hear DS's potty training is going well. TBH I was quite disgusted with what you DH said to you, dont think I could forgive my DH if he said something like that to me. I haven't done a proper read but I hope things are better with you and DH. I am not taking any muit-vits maybe i should start them x

choccie I am using anusol ointment and suppositories but they dont seem to be helping Glad to hear you had a fab day out!

naat I too feel that the friendship we all share is special even tho we dont formally know each other, during my pregnancy and these first months I dont know what I would have done without you lovely ladies! Glad to hear the days with your dad were good and that Mila's special day went well

tee Glad you had a nice anniversary and what a lovely gift you received. Glad to hear Adam is thriving! Sarah takes about 20oz a day 2 weeks ago she was 12lb 4oz at 9 weeks HV is coming on friday so i will see how much she has gained since then

erm The wedding sounds Fab esp the run-down country house i'm sure the bride and groom were thrilled with it!

amy I wish I had stuck with BF as I feel that was a bond I didn't share with my baby. If you are comfortable sticking with it I would. I am sorry to read about what happened to your DP's first wife, how sad but great that his son is now a 'moody' teenager. I am visiting family in Liverpool and will be doing some shopping, I am really looking forward to my trip, been 5 years since i was last there

That's as much as I can remember big hellos to all the rest of the lovely juner's I know I am misding loads of people, Sarah is now screaming so best be off will be back on later xx

Just had Rupert weighed its official- he is a ginger budda!!!!!!! 15lb 1oz hes corrected to 10 weeks ( 14 today ) and on the 75th centile!! Imogen was the same- and those on my FB- she is stick thin now- so not too worried. he has 3 FF offered 6oz- but generally takes 5oz and the rest is breast xx hes not feeding as frrequently- so perhaps he'll calm down again now xx

Hi effie that weight gain sounds great! Add me on your facebook, I'd love to see some pics!!

naat sorry, I forgot to mention Mila's christening, hope you had a great day!? I think we are going to aim to have Caelan christened in March next year in the same church we have booked for our wedding in the Aug, quite looking forward to it! Don't know what I'll put Caelan in though, there is so much choice for christening outfits! What did Mila wear?

lauraloo If you are doing any shopping you sooooo have to go to Liverpool One. Its only been built in the last year, fantastic shopping 'area' in the city centre. Its got all restaurants on the top floor, and loads of shops on the bottom two floors, but its outside, not really a shopping centre! I recommend you go by train though, parking in Liverpool One is pretty expensive! But I'm sure your relatives will know all about it though! They are opening a brand new Mamas and Papas in there today- evil evil shop makes me spend money I haven't got! Bought Caelan a play mat from there on sat this one. It was meant to be 75, but was reduced to 59, and we had a voucher for 50 (sorry, my keyboard doesn't have a pound sign!!) so it only ended up costing us 9 pound in the end! Caelan's room in kitted out in the Zeddy and Parsnip stuff from there too!!

Another good night from Caelan, slept from 1 til 10am, so even got a bit of a lie in! Can't help thinking I shouldn't be leaving him that long though? Its just so tempting to get that bit more sleep, its been sooo long!! However, the down side to all this sleep is that my boobs are as hard as coconuts by the time he wakes up! My nipples end up being as flat as pancakes because my boobs are so hard, and I'm all leaky... what should I do? I really don't want to interupt my much welcomed sleep just to express some milk off!!

lol chociedooby just logged onto my facebook, and one of my friends from work was suggesting we get together for a 'play date' when our children are a little bit older... suppose I had better start getting to know what these are a bit better hadn't I!! Is it literally someone else coming round with the DC and them playing together, and then you go to theirs next time?!

sorry... me again! Just wondering if anyone would like some breastflow bottles that are brand new, never been used... I sent off for the free one, but being impatient I went and bought some from mothercare while waiting for the free one to arrive (which was a good job because it took 3 weeks to arrive). I bought them when Caelan was about 2 weeks old, because I needed to give my cracked bleeding nipples a rest! So bought a pack of three, but Caelan really didn't take to the bottle when I tried him with it, so two never got used. And the third one arrived through the post too, so I have three brand new bottles that I wont need. Tried Caelan with the Tommee Tippee bottle when he had some water when he got sunburnt and he seemed to like that a lot better (prob because it was a lot easier!!). So if anyone would like them, they are here if you want them? I could pop them in the post! I'd rather they be used my someone else than just sat in my kitchen!

effie, hello again, glad all is well and am v impressed with your gym session!

On the subject of potty training, DS1 pooed his pants occasionally until he was nearly at school, as did many of his friends. He 'got' weeing in the toilet reasonably well in the daytime by the age of 3, but poo was another matter entirely. He wore pull-ups at night until he was almost at school as well. Whereas DD was dry and clean in the day from the age of 2 and never ever pooed in her pants (but had pull-ups at night for wee until nearly 4). Boys are just slower at the hygiene and control aspects I think... and don't expect poo-less pants once Flynn's twigged doing it in the toilet - DS1 still puts pants in the wash with impressive skid-markes. Bum-wiping should be on the national curriculum for Reception aged boys .