May 09 - weather and jabs = hot cross babies

[Momino]

hope i'm not duplicating

looby, i'm sorry you're going through a tough time and thinking of you. llare and the others have posted really good advice to which I can't add. febes/tummum/euro said so many true things about how we feel after childbirth as well, can really hit the libido not to mention self esteem (i don't feel sexy either - has been at least six months since sex )

Msg, glad to hear you're well. sounds lovely to hear how C falls asleep on you. i'm such a bad mummy and sometimes put Harper down to cry for a bit while i get the other 2 ready for bed. she doesn't cry for an hour but it can be 20 min or so .

another bad mummy alert, no need to respond, i'm just venting. this morning was awful. by 7.30 i'd already lost my patience as i was trying to beat the clock to get girls dressed and fed, h Bfed, guestroom ready, laundry, diswasher emptied, myself dressed, etc by 9am to take dd1 to GP. dd1&2 were extra whingy and pushing all buttons. the straw that broke me was when i'd moved my coffee out of the way yet dd1 still managed to tip it over onto the floor all over her, me, baby. i screamed (not yelled) at her and even used the 'F' word to her x2. i'm so ashamed. my screaming set off all 3 DD's and i just kept yelling at them whilst they were crying. i felt so ashamed. i did say i was sorry and that i shouldn't have yelled at them and it wasn't dd1's fault... blah blah.

i sometimes don't think i'm cut out for this. too late i know . i fell better now as in laws here to help today but can't help feeling like a horrible mum for screaming in a terrible voice and with terrible words. just hope they don't repeat it.

hope you're all well today in any case. off to get tea ready.

Oh Monimo what a rubbish morning. I'd like to join you in the "not sure I'm quite cut out for this but it's a bit late now" club

DH just called to say he is on the way home. In a foul mood. Great. Apparently I was being highly annoying by saying "yeees?" in a sarcy tone when I answered the phone. I was juggling a screaming baby, clingy toddler and smart-arse 5yo old at the time Hope he cheers up by the time he gets home.

Can I also say that Space Pirates is possibly the most annoying kids TV programme ever, although Mister Maker and Big Cook Little Cook could give it a run for it's money. Dd2 has just fallen asleep in front of the TV, v cute

I have a tiny crush on the chap from Space Pirates.

Llare I suppose he does look a bit like Johnny Depp... a very deshrevelled (can't spell) Johnny Depp, but you'd have to squint a bit to get him to look like that ! What are you like?!!

Dandy ROFL about your friend. That's something I'd absolutely do as a gut reaction before my 'parent' brain would start up to assess the situation

Loobey, sorry to hear of your dh probs. The others have given good advice.

Can I join the bad mummmy club. I've had a nightmare day, which has resulted in me screaming at the lo's

On the positive side, I will be an aunt before the day is out. My sil was induced this am and the last I heard she was 8cm and only then had she used the gas and air!

oh, i love you gals [cheesy MN hug and sigh emoticon]. you do cheer me up. i'm sorry you have difficult times as well but i do feel better knowing that i'm not the only mum screaming and yelling and saying the F word. dandy, that is very, very funny about your friend pushing over a toddler. i agree with tummum that i've wanted so much to do that in a similar situation .

llare, i like the doodle do man. Can't stand Mr Maker or Big cook/little cook either, tummum. daizy, best wishes to you SIL, that's exciting.

tummum, still have the gin? i think i'd like an icy martini with 3 stuffed olives, thank you!

OOooh Martini - now you're talking

Obviously I am still very very ill with swine flu

ooo martini, thanks for reminding me - I have 1/2 a bottle of martini i'd forgotten about. Also got a bottle of pimms for my birthday. Wonder how long it'll take to get the kids into bed

martinis are a good tonic for swine flu. better than antibiotics. really.

Lunch was good. The Area Manager that I used to work alongside came too and it was good to catch up. I really don't want to go back...
They got me a huge bouquet of purple and cream flowers and a couple of hanging toys, set of vests&sleepsuits and a set to take a hand or foot imprint of DS.

DS slept nicely on the journey there but was a bit unsettled on the way back. We managed though!

On the alcohol front, my favourite tipple (other than wine) always used to be bacardi and diet coke but I've still not had one!

daizy - hope all's gone well for your SIL.

Gosh this thread does still move quite quick!

Looby - hope all goes well for you and dh - think all advice that has been offered is sound - hugs to you with that one.

Ahem - I can join the bad Mummy club - have had very stern words with DS1 tonight and told him that his behaviour was totally unacceptable - he's 3½ for goodness sake, but I sometimes expect him to act as if he's 6 or 7! tho I haven't used the F word to him, I have shouted at him and scared him witless on the odd occasion

Someone mentioned meeting friends from work - I have actually been in to work over the last 2 weeks - my compnay offer up to 10 "keeping in touch days" which I can do during maternity leave and get paid for..I have done 3 so far.

DH is off to watch the motor bikes on SUnday - so I am solo with both boys from 6am......not sure my patience or imagination for play will hold out for the 12+ hours I will be on my own!

Off to bed shortly - have good weekends everyone

Woo hoo - I'm an Auntie to a little baby girl She was 2 weeks overdue and only weighed about 7 1/2lb!! I've all broody again

looby - agree with pp, your DH is being a wotsit. Lots of good advice from everyone else, so just sympathy from me. After DD1 was born, DH and I went through a similar patch (although without the alcohol). DH at one point asked me if I was having an affair because of the lack of bedroom action and affection, yeah right, like I had the time or inclination for that! I had huge problems caused by the breastfeeding, as well as the zero libido I had problems with dryness and shocking mood swings. This time, DH has been a bit more understanding, though still not 'hands off' enough for my liking.

daizy - Congratulations! I know what you mean about being broody, a friend of mine is pregnant and I'm quite of her lovley bump!

momino - I've shouted at DD1 too, fairly regularly . No swearing (yet, I'm sure it'll come) but I am completely overreacting to her at times. I think I forget that she is so young and at times I expect too much of her.

lol at the 'not quite cut out for this but too late now' club, I think there would be thousands of members although it might vary from day to day. Today I am not a member, but yesterday I would have been!

llaregub - I have, on occasion, also thought that the Space Pirates captain is the most attractive man on CBeebies! Mr Maker is a big hit in our house, but BCLC are idiots. They can't cook, don't appear to like children and don't enjoy presenting!

DH is watching The Beach on tv, never seen it before but it's a bit bloody - just looked up to see loads of people getting shot. Sweet dreams!

Morning,

Momino I have lots of bad mummy days too - I hope you're feeling better and have a good day today. It's so up and down isn't it. I must say, a big THANK YOU from me for admitting to letting the baby cry for a while. I hardly ever did that with dd but I yesterday I let T cry himself to sleep for 20 mins and felt incredibly evil about it. In general I leave him to cry much more than I would like but I just don't seem to have enough hands to deal with them both, and dd is so much more vocally demanding and physically imposing - she can literally throw her weight around much more. I am finding the balance of the 2 of them by far the most challenging (ie horrible!) part of having more than 1 child, I just feel like I never give either of them the attention they need. Doesn't help that T is much more sleepy during the day that dd was at his age, so I worry that he's not being stimulated enough and needs us to play with him more instead of sticking him in his chair/playpen/bed while we yet again do something else . I'm sure he's ok - in fact I'm probably remembering things all worng and dd was maybe not that alert until later either, but I actually find it really upsetting . That's my constant bad mummy worry. People keep saying that this is the treatment all 2nd babies get and no-one was ever yet seriously traumatised by it, but it doesn't help that much .

Well anyway, didn't mean to splurge all that really. Am up before everyone else and enjoying the peace - hopefully it'll be a good day! Had better get through the shower now though before they all get up and the mayhem begins...

By the way Browniebells your keeping in touch days at work sound like a great idea. Must make going back a bit easier - I found that the drastic contrast between full time work and full time mothering was the most difficult thing about going on maternity leave and then going back to work afterwards. It's a bit 'all or nothing'!

OK, we're bad parents in this house! A slept until 6, fantastic! But why has DD1 started waking at 5:30?! DH got a bit cross with her this morning, bless him he's knackered. Gone back to bed now, and A is asleep.

browniebells - realised I'd forgotten to say welcome back and congratulations on your LO! My work does the KIT days too, didn't use them with DD1 but might consider it this time.

Good morning you dreadful mummies. I count myself with you. I haven't sworn at the dc yet, but we obviously haven't been as careful at not swearing in their presence as dd1 (3.5y) the other day was standing in the bath saying 'f*cking hell, fcking hell, f*cking hell' over and over with a cheeky grin on her face. You should have seen the looks on our faces

I also admit to pushing dd1. She was deliberately hurting dd2 who was only a month old at the time. It was instinctive and I was trying to separate them but still . That was not a very good day.

morning ladies...

Thanks for all your support

Made DH come for a walk to the duck pond with me and M last night and had a bit of a chat. He's agreed to try to knock the alcohol on the head a bit and try to be a bit more understanding re: sex. I have agreed to try harder in the bedroom department. Think I managed to get my point across tho as last night in bed instead of turning his back on me he cuddled me (without sticking a hard-on in my back) .
We shall see how we get on, it did seem that I was the one doing all the talking but then he's never been good at expressing his feelings.

Not showered yet as M very snuffly and wanted cluster feed this morning. DH is upstairs painting the nursery and M has just fallen asleep on the sofa so now working out if I can stop her rolling off so I can go get in the shower

looby- well done you and hope things get better now that you have chatted.

I must confess to being a shouty horrible mummy sometimes too, but i must say since i've been on ADs i am more chilled and i think i've only got really cross once with DD. Also when DD is doing things to push my buttons i just ignore it rather than get angry. I think it helps that DS2 is getting very smiley now and not so colicky so i am generally in a much better mood.

morning here. looby, so glad to hear you and DH have chatted and are more on the same level of understanding. keeping good relations with DH is very difficult with having babies/very young children.

*Jennster at you dd1 swearing. about pushing, similarly, i shook dd1's arm roughly when she was being rough with dd2 as a baby. felt badly after it but dd1 was fine. now, i see the same thing happening with dd2 who is being rough with Harper. I'm constantly telling dd2 to be gentle but she is always pulling H, bending her fingers back , laying on top of her, etc. i've not pushed her back yet but am so close...

KIT, must do some of these as well but i have no desire to go back to work. Think it would be smart to do these and will probably force myself.

euro, i feel exactly the same when i let Harper cry. Ithink I do let her cry too much but normally she seems happy like right now she's smiling at me and kicking her legs excitedly so i can't be all that bad !

Day started out annoyingly with the shower still leaking through our kitchen ceiling - had the plumber out but even he couldn't figure out where it might be leaking. So we can't really decorate the kitchen until we figure it out. Gotta be water getting behind some tiles inside the shower stall . we're going to try re-sealing today.

Hope everyone is having a sunny, good day.

Hi everyone - hope you are all having good days.
I managed a lovely bath today whilst J lay on a playmat on the bathroom floor- bliss and I was able to have a glass of wine last night as J was asleep before 10! This was after 2 hours of us settling him in his crib every 20 mins when he cried- is 7 weeks too early for us to be trying to establish a bedtime routine? he seems so sleepy from 7pm but is not happy about us trying to put him in his crib. We'vebeen trying for a week and the earliest he has settled is 9.

sophie- we started a bedtime routine at 5 weeks, but it wasn't until about 7 or 8 weeks that S would go down consistently around 7 or 7.30pm. Before that it could be any time up to 9.30pm when he would settle. So it could just take time for J to get used to the new routine.

Sophie I started a bed time routine when both DCs were 3/4 weeks it took them both 2/3 weeks to get it but it is worth perservering.

What's everyone doing tonight? am going to a wedding evening do in about 45 min and haven't started getting ready yet. I'm still feeding Harper as well so a bit stuck. usually my dressing up ritual is simply to take a wet wipe to my topc exchange trainers for heels, smooth down my hair and out the door. i honestly feel i don't have time for more.

Hope all are well and will toast you tonight - the 1st wedding celebration in 4 years where I haven't been pregnant!