Dec 08 mums - embuggerance to it all - sleep or no sleep we love our babes

[waitinggirl]

i hope people don't mind, i took the bull by the horns and did it. title a bit naff, but more important the thread exists rather than search for a better title. hope i haven't stolen anyone's thunder...

God sorry my spelling and grammar is terrible. I mean I puree our evening meal.

I need some sleep

JJ did they have them all in one room ? Did they have a separate area for them to sleep in ? 24 does seem a lot. my nursery has 12 max, in the baby room, and generally less than that, and is split into "walkers" and "non walkers" pretty much, so the little uns dont get trodden on.

Also, did you hear of the scandal of the nursery in Cambridge last year ? It failed its OFSTED completely, I read the report out of interest and it was scary...

Sorry, going now...

veggie funny but DS LOVES putting things in his mouth. It's just when he can actually eat them he gets confused. In fact I was given a leaflet on weaning at the clinic, and we have an amusing picture of him eating it enthusiastically. i tried him on yoghurt today and that came out too. i wouldn't be so bothered on food going everywhere and most of it coming back out again if he reached for the spoon/grabbed more food, etc, but he doesn't. He also pulls funny faces and doesn't seem keen! i think i will keep giving him tastes of stuff, but not worry about it yet.

njan is there any way you could work into DH being a SAHD slowly so he could find out if it was for him? So you don't lose your nursery place? My DH wants to get flexible working when I finish maternity leave so he can look after DS one day a week, or one day a fortnight but not sure if he'll be able to yet.

jj is the local one patacakes? We have Ds's name down there but won't know until august. When we visited it wasn't full but the baby room still looked quite crowded so i know what you mean about there being a lot of babies. It has a good reputation though and seemed good. Oh and i don't think anyone on here would begrudge you some good sleep for a change!

nolda hooray for Eddies, they are indeed cool!

NJAN sorry about your uncle and ill family. Re nurseries, are you talking about the Uni supported nursery? They have two don't they, the one that failed, yes it was pretty dreadful - book cases blocking the fire escapes etc. Though they've been re Ofstedded and doen much better now, obviously it shook them up and they've sorted out their ideas!

Re SAHD, if he's keen then it's no more difficult a decision than being a SAHM I guess, if one of you is going to be home with the kids then no reason for it not to be him but I know how hard these things are so will stop there before putting any feet in it!

SL yes it's patacake that has the big baby room. There is a separate sleeping place, and they just got an outstanding from Ofsted, so hardly a bad choice it was just the huge numbers of kids that scared me. They all seemed to be having a high old time, so just my own fears getting in the way.

quick question... madam has a stuffy nose which makes feeding tricky (esp at night). what do people recommend?

mmm...wg not sure.
I tried both nasal aspirator and sucking out from his nose with my mouth (gross!). He goes mental as he hates people near his nose and I couldn't get it to work. But you could try this?
basically a big sneeze would sort him out (and cover me, nice!)

Could you try putting Vicks on bedding or something? (I think someone may have talked about using Vicks on here before so pretty sure it is ok, as long as not right under their nose?)

WG try Nasosal saline spray from Boots. Is brilliant and I used it a lot. The bogeys do come out on the boob though, when they are feeding

JJ: if you're looking for flexible care I'd serioulsy consider a childminder. I'm biased because we used a CM for DS1 and it worked out really well but I'm personally happier with that kind of environment for tiny babies. Having said that, many of my friends used nurseries and are v v happy. Why not meet a few CMs in your area to get an idea of the care they can offer and weigh it up?

I think we've finally sorted our childcare out - a lovely CM who lives pretty close for DS2 and DS1 part-time, then we've bagged a place in a local nursery for one day for DS1. All very complicated but I hope it will work out. The I need to find an extra day for January!

Food: DS2 kind of made the decision for me (he's a couple of weeks shy of 6 mo) by eating anything put in his reach yesterday, including my banana, DS1's bread and some grass from the garden . So he's sat in his highchair throwing bits of cauliflower around quite happily )I'm with JJ on random baby food offerings). For those doing BLW any good finger foods to start with?

Evening all just popping in to bookmark and will write more later, DS2 is asleep DS1 is fed and DH is calling soon to read, oh shit DS1 hasn't had his bath

Effie Apple cores are currently DS2 fav we eat the outer bit of the apple leaving a generous amount on the core and he can hold it a knaw on what's left. Also not sure if it's allowed but strawberries and orange segments, also easy to hold. Have bought some melon and mango for tomorrow. I am really enjoying weaning this time around.

Oh my word, this does not bode well. DH is gone with work until Friday and DS is impossible to settle so far tonight. Of all of the sleep problems we have had (and there have been many along the way!) one thing that was always good was that he settled well at bedtime. He has been alternating between singing, shouting and proper crying up there for nearly an hour. Nothing I do seems to help. He settles a bit and then starts up again. It almost seems worse when I go in. Have even tried Calpol in case it is teething pain, but considering he starts laughing and smiling as soon as I go in I don't think so!

Noooooooo! DH come back!!!!!

Hello again, dd asleep and DH at a meeting so just me and a small glass of cheerfulness.

Effie, I used our local council register search for childminders and there are only 4 within a few miles who have vacancies this autumn, emailed them all and only one replied [humph] so will follow her up. I went to a childminder after school from 5 to 11 and it was great, she was lovely and I have very fond memories of a) her teas, and b) the naughty stuff we used to get up to so would be happy to go with one for dd while she's tiny, if we could find one. Will start the search again closer to the time I think as vacancies may turn up.

Oh JJ it would be nice to have a few more CM options but at least it's a start. I have often wondered about bring a CM while I'm at home anyway but I don't know if I'd have the energy for more, and might be a bit cheeky if I took them for coffee with friends!

Oh, and WG also Karvol plug-ins. They are great, and quite effective...

BTW, I am not making these deaths up for sympathy, but this last one was expected as my uncle had a genetic disease (huntingdons chorea) and has been ill, and in fact, in a nursing home for many years. So a good death, if you can have one of those

JJ No foot in mouth Its a long and boring story but we met when DH was only just 20 and my mothering instinct kicked in, for various reasons. As a result I have always done most of the domestic stuff. DH is a brilliant lovely man, generous and caring and lovely with kids. But he is also a stress bunny, had some form of PND after DS1 and finds it stressful to take responsibilty for things, always wants me to check if he has done the kids nappies right etc etc. So I think in the beginning he would find it hard to take responsibility for all the millions of little decisions you make every day as a parent on your own....

BTW we are not in some kind of 50s relationship. He does do other stuff, but is not good with cooking and stuff like that

Indith I've had a look at the spa menu and I think I would go for the Arabian or oriental massage though all of those look quite good. A friend of mine does Tui-na massage and it is quite good. As they say in the brochure very 'rebalancing'. Also the pedicures look good but I think even I would find 80 mins a bit too long for a pedicure so maybe just the 60 min one. Not sure how much you can have, but it all looks lovely.

NJAN I forgot to say sorry about your uncle and wow you have had a hard time of it lately with both your families. You know the way you describe things with DH and doing stuff for the kids is just like most first time mums. It's usually hit & miss for most of us really so as long as he understands that what it is like for everyone eventually he will build up his confidence. I a friend who is an unlikely SAHD but has turned out to be amazing at it. I think the one thing you need to be prepared for though is him being better at settling them and basically being better at sorting everything for them. My friends wife was at home for the first 7 months of both her childrens life then when the 2nd was 7 months they decided to take the first out of nursery and for her DH to be a SAHD. Now she is like the clumsy DH that doesn't see his kids enough to know what to do with them. She doesn't resent it but has found it hard to watch her babies prefer to go to their dad for settling etc.

He has finally gone down. Wow, that was horrible. Had me in tears too. Nearly 1.5 hours to get him to sleep with the last 30 mins full crying and screaming. Nothing would calm him. Eventually I had to just pin his arms down to stop him flapping and wait for him to stop screaming. Not sure how that is any different than controlled crying . What a horrible way to fall asleep.

Have no idea what that was about and dreading the night ahead.

NJAN - Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time.

JJ - I am having a similar problem re: childcare (i.e. all nurseries have waiting lists for at least 2 years in this area). Am pretty much in denial as I'm not going back until November, but really hoping I might be able to find a childminder or nanny share.

WG - DS had a number of colds early on and we sometimes fed him in the bathroom after leaving the shower to steam things up. Also put eucalyptus oil on a cloth and tied it to his bed.

Oh F%$#! He's off again.

Evening all,

I chuckled at ladyT's DD trying to get herself some cheerfulness. Champagne no less! What a girl .

NJAN Sorry to hear about your Uncle.

effie Re BLW foods. One of the best things we've tried so far has been steamed baby corn on the cob. DD seemed to like the taste and they were easy to hold. A peach was also successful. I took a bite and handed it to her and she sucked and nibbled on it for ages. I had to hold it for her in the end as the skin had come off and it was too wet and squishy. She kept pushing her face into it very enthusiastically.

Gracious I'm sleepy. I'll catch up properly tomorrow. Night all.

MOM: hope he settles soon - we've had a few evenings like that and I confess that I often bring him down to watch the telly and put of the battle till my bedtime . I'd strongly advocate taking the easiest route possible while your DH is away - also, can you rope in some help during the days so you can have a break?

NJ: it a toughie, isn't it? DH was more or less a SAHD when I went back to work after DS1 and was very good at it indeed, despite being a bit rubbish on the domestic front. Then we gradually upped the childcare as he got more (freelance) work in. We were very very lucky in that we were recommended a cm who lived a couple of streets away and was v good and flexible. If we were still in London I'd send both boys off to her no worries at all. Childcare fees are a bit of a shock, aren't they?

Ok, seriously now. Someone must be joking. My freaking cat has just brought in a baby frog and is playing with/killing it. I thought it was a piece of food and just about picked it up to throw it in the bin. It is now dead, belly up, with legs splayed, about two feet from where I am sitting. Would it be wrong to leave it there until Friday???

Where is the cheerfulness and chocolate? I am in need tonight.

DH's old cat used to hunt frogs - can't imagine why, they prob don;t taste very nice. I'd leave it for DH

Thanks Effie! I have some mum friends locally who I can call if the proverbial hits the fan.

DS screaming again. Mamma mia.

MOM - Are you OK ? Is he sleeping now ?

Hmm veg your post was very interesting. Recently I've realised that I can be a bit of a control freak and it would be v strange to not be the main comforter, kisser better etc. And the main organizer of meals. But it would be good too ! And Effie, nice to hear your DH got a shot and was good at it. I think DH would be too.....

I watched Supersizers go Eighties today. I find it really entertaining. Not while I am eating though

hello
Thank you all for being so lovely. Last night was dire as predicted but tonight she has been asleep for 2 hours so far...
MOM sorry your LO is misbehaving. I hope it's a one-off and that you get some lovely mummy-son time while your dh is away.
JJ your post wasn't a problem at all - the more I hear about sleeping babies - especially ones who have not always been good sleepers - the more hope I have that things will get better... so don't apologize - you deserve some decent sleep!
WG - we run the shower in the bathroom and make it all steamy then sit in there with our girls if they are blocked up. Also putting a damp cloth with olbas oil on over a radiator is good, but I don't suppose it's radiator weather
Re nurseries - P is going to nursery for 3 days a week from September. It's the one where Lucy went so we kind of provisionally booked the place when I was pregnant then made it official a few months ago. We pleased with it because Lucy LOVED nursery and the staff are great. Lu started there when she was 9 months and left at Christmas to start school and in that time we never had any upset or problems. Having said that the idea of leaving P is not easy - I think I'll find it harder this time. I have told my boss at work that I will go back in September but will re-evaluate things at christmas...maybe a new direction then - who knows?
HVs - I have one allocated to me who I have seen only for 6 week and 12 week check. But most of the baby groups here have been recently set up by Surestart and have a HV there each week, so we end up chatting a lot. Yesterday I went to the drop in clinic because P's skin has really flared up again, and while I was there she asked about weaning and that's how we got started!
RIght I'd better go...packed lunches won't make themselves! night night xxx

Evening All

MoM you poor thing! Please tell us he has settled now? I hate it when DH goes away. I am convinced that sods law will ensure that every illness and disaster will choose those days to hit. I do not know how Veggie survives so well with frequent absences.

Trace I have a crap memory but does P have eczema? DD2 was diagnosed with eczema today / I have been given all sorts of lotions and potions to try on her. Mostly it is under her many chins and the doctor told me to air it regularly. Short of using wig tape I have no idea how to hold her chins off her chest.

By the way, I was cleaning the kitchen today and found a treasure trove of sweet potato behind the radiator . So I guess that DD2 did not eat that much after all!

Thanks for all your film suggestions. I have seen the Castle and the Dish but they were so good I have ordered them again. And many of the other suggestions. I can't wait for our first delivery.

Thanks all! He has been up 4 times already. So so unusual. Normally the 7-12 chunk is problem-free. It's only after midnight the problems start! Left him 10 minutes ago wide awake and chatting to his bunny . Am sure screaming will ensue. Best go to bed soon to ensure my survival! Let's hope cats #2 and #3 don't join cat #1 and DS in the conspiracy.

Arti - We just got over a very similar under chin excema episode. Not sure what worked in the end, but I think maybe it was adding oats to the bath (put porridge oats in a muslin cloth, tied with an elastic, and squished it in the water until cloudy...also dabbed neck directly with the muslin-porridge oats parcel), then Sudocrem on neck whenever I changed him, then once the angry redness went away put Aveeno cream on a few times/day. It think it was a perfumed washing powder that brought it on in the first place, so maybe getting rid of that helped too.