May 2009 - we're all here! btw, does anyone know what the Hungry Cry sounds like?

[Momino]

phew! how many threads have we done since last aug?

Funnily enough Tummum, I've been having career wobbles lately. I've worked in my current occupation since leaving university, and I've reached the point where I've achieved as much as I want to do and I'm pondering a change of direction. Trouble is, my job is very flexible, challenging and I've had to do 2 postgraduate qualifications to do it. And now I no longer want to do it!

I'm officially off until April but I am pondering not going back at all and being a SAHM for a while and retraining later. But if I do go back, it will be for 2 days a week. We use PIL for childcare but have been talking about an au pair to help with the house as DH works full time and runs a business.

Hi! Struggling to get on MN properly today as DS just isn't settling unless he's feeding. He did fall asleep at one point this morning and I put him in the sling but within 15 mins he did an exploding wee that I felt come through the sling! Not sure how/why it happened. His whole nappy was soaked but it didn't feel that wet inside his nappy! Can you get faulty nappies???!

Had friend over this morning with her two DC. Her DS is 3mo. Her DD was over tired and wouldn't sleep but instead kept throwing tantrums (she's 2.6yo) and when they went home I felt my friend was really upset but didn't want to let it all get to her. I casually said "You ok?" and she gave me a half-hearted smile and said she was. She has since texted me though to say they're both asleep now so hopefully she'll get chance to recharge herself too.

DH isn't due home til late this evening and the way DS is I may phone out for pizza which won't be a good start to weight loss. Am I just being particularly soft though? Should I just let O cry whilst I cook?
I could phone my mum and ask her to pop over but I really think I should be able to manage myself.

Tummum - I plan to go back to work at some point in Jan and we're thinking of using a nearby Asquith nursery. I'm going to ask work if they'll accomodate me doing 3 or 4 days. I'll probably start talking to them Aug/Sept time.

Interesting to hear that there are plenty of career wobbles out there. I've been wobbling for a few years but have managed to put off doing anything about it but getting pregnant and being on maternity leave several times! Straight after A levels I trained and qualified to do something I'd always wanted to do but now, many years later I'm stuck in central government working in a fairly distantly related area with not enough experience or remaining skills to get back to where (I think) I want to be. And I'm comfortable in govt, with all the good stuff - good working conditions, good pension, fairly well paid and so on. But everything is complicated now by the fact that when (if?) I go back after this lot of mat leave, I don't actually have a post to go to due to reorganisations in the department. I will have a job but who knows what it'll be - not sure Ilike that idea.

I have a "new" job but I haven't actually done it yet, due to maternity leave. I was given it following a restructure and am in the curious position of having a maternity cover person knowing my job better than me!

going back to work isn't too scary a thought for me right now! Maybe by next feb it might be, when it's more real! I was doing two full time jobs when i left, fitted into a 37 hour week (due to my employers thinking it a good idea to combine the two jobs prior to me starting). Just before going on mat leave i managed to convince them that it was too much for one person. So hopefully I'll be going back part time to the half of the job i was most comfortable with. However its likely to only be a one year contract when i return which might be a little scary, but we're planning on getting pregnant again quite soon (havent yet been put off the idea of 2 very young ones!). Not sure about childcare, my job requires me to be quite flexible with my hours, so not sure if a nursery or childminder would accomodate that? We also have a couple of grandparent options. We'll see.

As I started my mat leave quite early I'm back at work most likely in jan as I'll be without pay by then. I'm going back 3 days a week. We'll have to have an au pair again, even though I'd like to be able to manage without. Both DH and I work unsociable hours/nights/weekends/bank holidays etc... All of which don't get covered by a nursery.

And forgot to say. We also haven't got any family close by that can help us out.

What sort of things will the au pair do? Still weighing up the pros and cons..

Llare your situation sounds v. similar to mine. My degree and post-grad were pretty specialised into the industry/job I am now doing, so moving out of that could be tricky. Also when (if?!) I return in Jan it will be to a new job with a new manager in a new location, and I'm just not sure it's something I want to do as I was in a company that's been taken over and the new company already drove me bananas when I was there pre-mat leave.

I have always worked FT but now I have 3 DC, and am less enamored with the job I would like to work 3 days a week (I think) but that's not compatible with the current childcare arrangements or my job (I've been told it's full time or nothing.) Hence the rethink. Or the think about a rethink IYKWIM ! It's all a long way off, but if I want to do something else I'd like to get started, and use this lovely maternity leave time for my thinking and planning whilst I can.

Gosh, what a mememememe post. Sorry, too much navel gazing for me today !!

I am planning to go back to work in Jan (9 months off). flippineck- i also work for central govt and was in BERR which has now merged with DIUS so it will be strange when i go back. I work part-time already (4 day week) but might reduce it to 3 or 3.5 as i need to juggle school and nursery drops/pickups, although hoping to get DD into after-school clubs at least 2 afternoons. A friend who also works parttime is interested in going for promotions and has asked if i'd like to go for them as a job-share with her. Her current job is also about to be advertised as a job share so she's coming to talk through things on Weds. I feel like i need a move and have been looking for promotions too. So will see what is on offer. My DS1 will stay at nursery and DS2 already has a place reserved so we are all organised!

I'm glad the subject of work has come up. I'm really not happy in my current position, and actually thought of completely retraining just before I got pregnant with dc3. The branch I was working in until March closed. I then went to another branch, further away, busier, longer hours and with 80 methadone addicts. I honestly can't see myself going back to this branch in February and take 2 expressing breaks for 20 minutes. I can't see the lovely addicts aggreeing to waiting for their methadone. I've worked for the company for 10 years, and can't see they having a problem with me cutting my hours right down, but what is the point if it barely covers childcare, and then when dd1 goes to school next year, who is going to do the collecting of children? Got to go

For those of you despairing with your unsettled LOs, I would like to show how quickly LOs can change, because as you know i have a LO who likes to be held/co-sleeps. Today S slept in his sling for an hour whilst i pottered around (cleaned teeth, tidied pots, washing etc). Then he had a 2 hour sleep in his basket, and then had a further 2.5 hours in his basket! Usually he stirs after 10 mins or 40 mins so its amazing how he did that! Just got to try him at night to see if i get the same results! He has basically only woken when its 3 or 3.5 hours since his last feed. I am so lucky he chose to do it today with it being my first day with all 3 DCs. And DS1 had a 2 hour nap too so i had a nice rest after lunch . My friend came to visit and didn't even see S but there was no way i was going to wake him!

llare Our au pairs generally do childcare while DH and I are at work, that would include things like school drop off and pick up, preparing their breakfast/lunch/dinner if necessary, putting them to bed and of course occupying the dcs at home. As well as this I also asked them to do the dcs laundry. I never asked them to do any cleaning as looking after my dcs was enough work, but I do expect them to keep the house tidy. Only the last ap was expected to do a little more housework because I was pregnant and had SPD + both dcs were in school full time and so she was spending most of her time sleeping or watching telly anyway. Most of the time it works out OK, but I've had only one really bad experience in 4 years, where this September a girl called her parents to come and 'rescue' her from us slave drivers and this turned into a slanging match at our front door. If you have a good ap it can be very enjoyable, I had a good relationship with a fair few of them and that was great while DH was away at work. The last ap was OK, but I always had to keep on top of her and keep reminding her to e.g. stick a load of washing on, etc... That can be stressful and make your life more difficult instead of easy.

x-post pula

What a fantastic progress your S is making. It must have been lovely. I must say. C's coming on too. Her gaps between feeds are slowly starting to get longer, she's been doing 3-4 hours today. Not that that means she's asleep for the whole time. It's definitely been a sling day today. But if I try her on the breast after 2 h she protests and cries, because although she loves the suckling, she gets upset when the milk starts flowing!

evening ladies.

well I would join u all in the big weigh in today but its my birthday! so will start tomorrow (honest)

tonight we are leaving M with my niece for 3hrs and walking into town to my favourite balti restaurant - yum!
am just bf M then gonna get ready - make up, contacts - the works!

Pula - that gives me hope

Jenn - 80 methadone patients is a lot! Most of my stores have 15-20. Would youhave room to negotiate a part-time role in another branch?

DS has just fallen asleep on me again. Bet if I try and move him he'll wake up. Maybe I should try though...

Looby - Happy Birthday!! Sounds like a lovely evening planned. Enjoy!!

Looby Happy Birthday! Enjoy your balti

Methadone, vile stuff. Obviously I have to give it to pts sometimes. It causes so much trouble.

C is happily asleep in the sling and dinner's ready. Shall I risk it and remove her or shall I eat with her in the sling and cover her with bits of quiche I think I'll have to put her down.

I have been reading, just haven't had time to post.

J slept from 10pm till just before 7am this morning, gulped a bottle down, had a quick bum change and went straight back down again! So while DP scurried off to work I stayed in bed until 10am, as did DD, she is a little angel, I have never known a 3 year old love her sleep so much!lol

On the subject of work, I never worked before J was born, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. DP works fulltime, and yeah if I worked the extra money would come in very handy, but to be honest, I love being at home, and I believe that DD would not be as forward as she is if I hadn't been at home with her. We manage as we are, just on DP's wage, yeah we don't go on holiday every year etc, but we'd rather sacrifice thing's like that for one of us to be here with them everyday...I could swap with DP I suppose lol give him a year off from work and i'll go instead....nah

Jael I was a SAHM when ds was little, but by the time he was 1, I realised that it was not for me, even though I had thought that's what I'd always wanted. I had always admired the mws who cared for me while I was pregnant, so I decided to retrain to become a mw. I would never want to work full time as a mum, though I didn't have much choice in the matter during my 3 years of training. Now I feel the 3 7.5h shifts a week are just right for me, I don't feel I'm missing too much, yet I have a life outside the family too.

Oh, better go. C is starving and the dcs need a bath. Time for some more multi tasking I think

I have worked in the past, don't want you all to think I'm lazy lol I did nursery nursing.. I'm not going to be a SAHM forever, just for the time being I want J to have that one to one time with me like DD has had. Jael X

Working I was teaching 4 days a week before Ds was born and I have taken basic Mat pay so I don't have to go back. I think I will look for something with less hours and less childcare implications in feb when SMP stops. If I went back to the same job my childcare cost would be 3/4 of my monthly pay so I just don't think its worth it. I was thinking tutoring or something similar. I have done caring work in the past or I could try childminding maybe. Or supply teaching and dh could watch Dcs???? Not sure yet. I really want to move back to NZ soon (in the next 2 years) so hopefully that will happen sooner rather than later.

DS just made me laugh. He asked me if C has got x-ray vision and if not, at what age do people get x-ray vision, lol.

I have no idea what I'm going to do about work I'm due back in January but I work nights from 5-10pm and my wage for 25 hours a week is only £100 a month less than DH who works full time. We really need my wage but I really don't feel comfortable or confident in my job and I'd rather stay at home. I'm so tired by 5pm right now that I can't imagine starting a shift. Plus, I barely see hubby during the week. Ugh.

Greer had her hip dysplasia ultrasound today and got the all clear which was a relief. Half an hour driving around the hospital grounds wasn't terribly relaxing and made us late, but at least she's fine.

I'm really flat just now, sorry I can't go back and name-check everyone. I'm just feeling really low - DH has "a migraine" and is making sure everyone knows he's ill, the DCs are all ignoring every word I say, I'm in pain and the hormones are kicking in to make me feel pretty shitty and the house is a pigsty again. I can't believe I've brought another baby into this family when the existing lot can't be arsed doing a thing to help themselves.

hi everyone

i've been reading but not had time to post over last few days

i too am a sahm at the mo... we moved from edinburgh to be closer to my parents in bristol in 2004 as i'm an only child and my mum was about to struggle through her 3d lot of chemo and dh & i thought it could be the one she couldn't get over. As it turned out she fought it off again and i have continued to be a helper/carer for mum & dad ever since. They don't need the help now that they used to as mum is back to stubborn creaky gate fitness and we've sorted dad out for his own care (he's way too heavy for mum and i to lift etc). So as soon as grace is at pre school in a few years i plan to do a PGCE so i can teach... something i've been meaning to do for a vvvvvloooong time.

febes i'd love to have the option of going back to nz. we have been talking about emigrating to nz for a yr or so... but prob won't be able to go until i've done my teaching qualification. the only thing stopping us going now is my worrying about how my parents would cope without us...