F(l)ab Feb 2009: Primark pants and teething rants

[dinkystinky]

A brand new sparkling thread to mark the four month mark for our bubs

LBB - what an awful situation with your friend.. Don't know what to suggest really but if you have any concerns about the little boy's well-being then better to say something than do nothing.....but it's not an easy call. Sounds like your friend could do with more support too so it might be a good thing all round if SS were involved?

PT - don't feel bad that you didn't act on the tongue tie with your DS. A friend's DD had this and she didn't realise until her DD was over 6 months and weaning was becoming a problem. Her DD had a very quick op to sort it out and has been absolutely fine since - no speech problems either.

Quick question - how many of you are still feeding during the night? L wakes for milk at least three times between 8pm and 6am and I am thinking about just offering her water as her sleeping patterns are still like a newborns! Can't remember DS being this bad......she is sharing a room with DS so I tend to grab her and feed her as soon as she starts grumbling so that she doesn't wake DS up but I think I should let her to try and settle herself or is she too young to try this?

DS1 has had a 3 hour nap and woken happy. Danny has been refusing to sleep and is miserable as sin - have just spent an hour getting him down for a nap which will in all likelihood last around 20 minutes. Sometimes wonder why I bother..

Calico - am still feeding at nights (bfing). On a good night, only one short feed (around 5 minutes) - on normal nights he wants 2 10 minute feeds at some point - on rubbish nights up around 4 or 5 times a night to give feeds lasting between 10 minutes and half an hour. I do tend to leave Danny for a little bit when he wakes in the night and is grunting away as sometimes he self settles. However recently with all the rolling around he does he's been getting himself trapped in weird positions so cant leave him too long before he starts crying. If he starts making crying noises or proto-crying noises I will go through. There is another big growth spurt due at 6 months so am waiting to get to around 6 and a half months before enlisting DH's help to get Danny to resettle without recourse to milk/breast. I know how knackering it is but I just think that some babies want to/need to feed more at nights than others (particularly those like Danny who are so nosy that they're easily distracted from their day time feeds by anything at all going on anywhere near them).

Calico Re night feeding, I won't tell you what to do, but I'll tell you what I do/did. Ds1 was 5 months when I started weaning him off night feeds. I felt he was waking more out of habit than hunger and he was being weaned and eating lots so I felt he couldn't possibly be hungry and that I'd shot myself in the foot waking him through the early months, so I started watering the formula down. 1 less scoop of powder with each feed. 3 nights later he was going through.
Luke hasn't been fed between 6:30pm and 6am since he was at the end of 3 months, because when he woke, he settled quickly with his dummy and by the time I had dragged myself out of bed, he was asleep again.
But again, he was and is having alot of food through the day, so I wanted to see if it was actually hunger and it wasn't/isn't.
I think you'll know or do already know what you should do. Is she eating lots through the day? Do you think she's waking out of habit? If it's hunger, nothing else will do, so you could try water or a comforter or something.
My 2 are sharing a room too but I don't go into Luke unless he is crying. He wakes up but I feel it's important that he learns how to self settle so I let him moan and groan, but if he cries or becomes the least bit distressed, then I go in.

dinky Luke seems to be coming out of long napping npw. PITA.

My friend is a good mum, or at least has the ability to as I've seen it.
I would like to talk to her and tell her it's ok to admit you need help and to look to certain authorities for help, after all that's what they are there for, but don't want her to think we have been gossiping or anything you know? I mean my other friend J has told the children's centre and threy have been to see her, so is that enough? I just don't know. K is not a horrible person. She does not have drink or drug problems. I do not doubt that she loves her ds. She has been saying for a few months that she id depressed, but refuses to do anything about it. I do think it's worth trying to help them though. They are both lovely, I just don't know what as I haven't actually seen the behaviour we are talking about. I might just speak to centre worker myself and tell her that J has been speaking to me about how worried she is.

lbb... i didn't take it as patronising, it helps to have someone tell me the obvious sometimes as i do tend to spiral into a panic when i make the mistake of researching stuff (i once convinced myself ds1 had a life threatening form of aenemia after googling flaky nails ). realistically i know it's not a major problem and will be easily fixed and it's not that big a disaster having to change my weaning plans...

with regards to your friend... one thing i will say in her defense is that for some people verbalising something awful is actually a way of preventing themselves from doing it... it doesn't make it ok that she's saying such awful things to him but it could be her way of stopping herself from getting to the point of actually doing them. she definitely needs help though and a few good friend to support her and talk some sense into her.

dinky... much sympathy on the crappy day.... hopefully danny will have worn himself out during the day and might have a stretch tonight for you (wishful thinking!)

calico, i'm still night feeding but as we co-sleep i couldn't tell you how much... i think more than a few months ago as he seems to be latched on alot but i honestly don't notice for the most part!

bought aaron a jar of chicken and rice and he seemed to like it... not sure how much went in but hopefully it'll be a bit more filling than fruit. i'm going to have to buy a blender this week so i can make him food myself.

I'm night feeding but bring C back to bed for bf lying down, don't time it but length varies a lot, longest feeds tend to be at our bedtime and early in the morning. He sleeps in our room and is gradually being moved from moses basket next to me (absurdly) to cot at the end of the bed. I tend to use the cot when I'm unsuput re that he'll go back to sleep for safety reasons - he had a 5 am feed today and then showed no signs of being sleepy but I was and put him down chattering away happily - we woke up about 6.45.

Had my first day back at work today - there were tears all round - I had to leave DD downstairs in her room whilst I took DS upstairs (he wanted to "drop" her off first) and then go back down to run through a few things with them for DD - I got back and she was screaming her head off with snot pouring down her face. I felt dreadful and almost couldn't leave. In the end I gave her some milk and popped her in a bumbo seat next to another baby who was playing with some toys and she gave me a big smile and I left her. I was so wobbly all day but whenI went to get her she was all smiles and had slept and eaten really well so I felt loads better. They are very sweet in the nursery so I don't question their care at all but more was worried about her feeling a bit overwhelmed.

coco - If DD wakes up in the night I tend to feed her back to sleep - I'd rather get her back off so she's not cranky the next day and not let her go on too long. I used to do the same with DS but it never became a habit for him - must be harder to crack if it becomes a habit - but she's also ok at self settling (as long as she has a muzzy in her bed to suck on !) - I used to leave DS more than I leave her but only because I can't cope with everyone awake in the middle of the night. I tend to find that DD wakes more when she's slept really badly during the day and just ends up in a spiral of overtiredness - normally when we've probably done too much and she doesn't get quality kip in the day.

Dinky hope your boys are ok with their temps and that you're now relaxing with a nice glass of wine.

Ooh it was Calico not Coco !.....Realise my post doesn't make sense - so what I mean is DD will self settle after a while but sometimes I don't like waiting that long in case she wakes DS....! that makes more sense doesn't it !

I am still feeding ds in the night even though he is having some solids. He goes down at 7 then wakes at 2 has a feed for 20 mins then goes down and wakes at 3.30 feeds for 20 mins then goes down and wakes at 4.30 and will feed etc etc etc.......

I am so so tired but he is still very sick and I feel that he needs these feeds....

He has hardly fed at all today. I have offered it every hour and he has latched on for a minute or so then come off, been sick and then lost interest..... I am hoping to find a tooth tomorrow if not I think I will have to take him to gp to check there is nothing more sinister going on!!!!

I pick my car up tomorrow... So excited....

Luke is 6 months today!!!!!!!!
It only feels like yesterday we were all typing that we were going to hospital/in labour etc etc. Time is def flying by.

Jacob 2 today. He has opened some cards, but presents from us are not until dp gets back from work

Just about to put sausage rolls and chicken nuggets in the oven, jump in the shower and then make sandwiches before going to tesco for birthday cake, squash, sweetcorn (for pasta) maybe a few more balloons and some fruit juice. Might get a bottle of mine for myself for later. I've decided not to supply alcohol for adults. It is after all a childs party and is mid-afternoon in the week,most people will be driving too so they can have tea, coffee, squash or juice.
Very excited.

Might not get time to come back today, so have a lovely day everyone and see you either tonight or tomorrow. x

P.S. Re friend. I am going to ask the mutual friend if she wants me to speak to the unhappy one as well. Just to let her know we are all here to help and maybe make sure she understands that this behaviour isn't on (in a mild way to begin)
PT I know what you mean in verbiising things. I do it. I always say that I could throw them out the bloody window, and I'm sure we all have our own things, but I would never get in either of my ds's faces and scream at them that I don't want them and I am going to break their legs. I think if I said to you guys, or to someone in RL that, for example, Jacob is driving me mad and I could hit him, that might be ok, but I think it is completely unacceptable to threaten a 3 year old to his face iyswim.
Anyway, I'll speak to J and see if she wants me to speak to K.

Thanks all for your posts re: night feeds. Makes me feel a whole lots better that I'm not the only one who is still feeding a few times at night. I think with DS I had stopped night feeds by this point - but then he was a lot bigger so probably didn't need it so much. I think I do need to try and get her to settle on her own though as she doesn't really know how to get herself back to sleep unless I am holding her. She thrashes around getting worked up and as soon as I lie her on her side and pat her back she nods off but I don't want to make a rod for my own back by doing that until she finally manages to sleep though (DS didn't sleep through the night regularly until he was two)!

LBB - hope you have a great day today - despite the lack of jelly!

Herb - hugs to you, so tough leaving the them for the first time isn't it. I'm not looking forward to it, though have a few month yet.

PT - I've googled infant diseases and diagnosed DS with all sorts of life threatening things......I stay away from the web doc now!

Just let DD settle herself to sleep for her morning nap - 10 mins of awful shrieking but now gentle snores coming from the nursery....phew. Not sure if could do that at 3am though

Herb - sorry yesterday was so stressful - I hope today is better for you guys.

LBB - I really hope that your DS1 has a lovely birthday today. It sounds like the party is going to be great with lots of delicious food. Am sure he'll love getting his presents from you and DP tonight.

Bumps - hope DS is ok.

Rather grey grim day out there today - making it hard for me to get motivated to go walking to do errands today. Danny is amazingly napping at present - fingers crossed its going to be a better sleep day for the little one today.

Calico Luke's the same. He likes to sleep on his side. I go in sometimes and stroke his head or pat his back, but only for a minute and then leave. You could try leaving her just before she nods off and lessen the time each day iyswim? It's difficult isn't it?

Thanks guys. Just finished prepping. Not as much there as I thought there was and not much for adults too, but tough. We're well in overdraft now and dp doesn't get paid for another 3 weeks. Still have to pay council tax and a £15 on a store card, so afraid everyone will have to sing for more food! Oh well...........

well done calico (sorry no caps - danny on lap and he has lemming like tendencies if i dont use one arm to restrain him) - work on getting her to self settle during the day and will get easier and quicker and then hopefully she will automatically start to self settle at nights without the yelling bit. Is what we did with ds1 and worked a treat.

lbb - bet you still have food let over at the end.. everyone i know lways over caters for parties.

Apologies for the abysmal spelling and lack of caps in last post. Danny is now commando crawling backwards off his playmat and under the sofa. What is it with babies and the urge to inspect the underside of sofas? He is tonnes more active than his big brother was at this age - who I thought was a pretty active baby! - even trying to roll while breastfeeding on my lap [ouch emoticon]

Dear gods.... have had a bizarre morning.

Went to gp with Aaron and was told our usual nice gp is out for the week so i had to see dismissive arse. Not a great start but i had my warrior mom head on so figured i could bullly him into paying attention

Waited in the waiting room and just as it was my turn he walks out the door, gets in his car and drives off! The woman waiting with a sick kid after me lost the plot a little and the poor receptionist had to explain that he was off to do his rounds and man the dispensary in our village (was in the surgery in our closest town), he just tends to walk off when it suits him! So i got in the car, which was running on fumes, and chased him up to the dispensary (could have saved myself and hour by just heading there this morning but how was i to know my gp wasn't in?!)

Finally get in to see him and poor Aaron is fast asleep, i tell him the problem and he has me wake up Aaron and then doesn't even look in his mouth! He asked me what food we've tried and then tells me i should try ice-cream i refrain from pointing out that Aaron isn't even 6 months so something comprising of sugar and milk is a stupid idea and simply point out that i wean for allergies due to my older kids having intolerances which is met with this face: . He says that they used to snip it but nowadays they don't and keeps rabbitting on about trying lots of foods until i snap 'I haven't just tried him on one meal, we've been trying for weeks and he simply can't move the food in his mouth, it's not that he doesn't like it... he can't eat it!'

'Alright then, he'll need a paeds referral' says he and starts to write it up. I ask him what they're likely to do for him and get told 'Oh he'll see a dietician and then they'll snip it' ..... no idea what happened to his earlier statement that they don't snip it anymore but ho hum... at this point i'm feeling the urgent need to leave before i lose my temper At least he has his referral so he'll be seen at some point, the waiting time for paeds seems to be about a month atm as dd has been referred too recently so hopefully we'll be seen soon.

He also couldn't understand what i meant when i say he can't drink out of a cup or bottle... apparently if he can get milk form me he can obviously suck, then looked horrified when i described Aaron's bf-ing method of chewing til he gets let down and then just lying there and letting it flow

i then had a mad phone call from the argos man who's delivering my washing machine but only delivers as far as a town the far side of the county and has no idea if he's actually going to drive over this far and had OU lady ring me while i was driving and refuse to get off the phone despite me saying 'sorry, i'm driving, could you ring back?' [rolling eyes emoticon. Both banks i needed to go to we locked for ages while the army and guards were doing the cash collection.

I'm badly in need of a cuppa now!

LBB, happy birthday to Jacob and happy 6 month day to LUke.... have a great day, hope the party goes well.

God - that sounds like the morning from hell Pink. Well done on sorting out a paed referral for Aaron - sounds like that GP is truly horrendous so thank god for your warrior mom head. So if the Argos guys wont deliver anywhere near you how on earth are you meant to get your new washing machine???

no idea... haven't heard back from them. it's all being added to the list of things i'll be writing in my letter of complaint though

on the plus side i've discovered if food is exactly the consistancy of soft ice cream (ie, soft but holds shape when stirred) he can slurp it off the spoon and straight down his throat which is a breakthrough... going to go broke buying baby rice to thicken everything though! he's got a full belly for once though and he seems to be in much better mood for it.

Monthly update from Pluto here...

Well - what a relief that I'm not the only one with a child who wakes several times in the night. Al doesn't go to bed until 9.15pm but then wakes at 12ish, 3.15am and 5ish every night - and sometimes manages to squeeze in a 1am and 4am pit stop as well. I've bf'd him into one terrible habit that I now need to break! We're off on holiday on the 14th and staying with friends - do you think I should boot camp him now or wait until we're back from our hols? DH s worried that if we try to work on breaking the night time waking now and it doesn't work then Al will think he's got a bit of a victory if I need to feed him in the night on holiday to stop him from waking the rest of the household, and it will be even more difficult for us to stop the night feeds when we return from our hols. Al has been on solids for a while - I'm sure he's waking from habit rather than hunger.

I really feel for those of you returning to work - my best wishes are with you. We've been doing accounts today - are broke too butI'm determined not to return until january!

If you want a cheap bus tour of London get on the number 13 bus between Victoria and Liverpool Street stn - it goes past all the big places!

Pluto - nice to see you on. No wonder you're not on MN much if Al is keeping you so busy at nights (I feel your pain there - Danny periodically does the hourly/bi-hourly waking thing too - its a killer). If I were you I'd go enjoy my holiday with your family and friends and then look to break the boob/sleep all the time association when you get home - who knows, Al may even surprise you on the holiday and suddenly stop waking for feeds quite so much. What would you find more workable for you - no feeds, one or two feeds a night or lots of broken nights trying to get him to sleep by himself?

Thanks Dinky - I think I am on your wavelength really, it's probably a bit insane to try and do anything about the night waking until we get back from our holiday. We're going to Sweden - midnight sun - ha ha that's really going to help!!

So, we have the last 8 days of August to crack it when we return, then DH is back to skool and much less inclined to get up 5 times a night to help. We did controlled crying with DS1 but I'm not sure I've got the nerves for that now.

dinky yeah, there was stuff left over, which was handy as I didn't get anything in for dinner

Luke is also more active than ds1 was at this age.

PT That sounds just crazy. Some docs are a bit insane aren't they? Sounds like you did good holding the temper though. Hope he gets seen soon.
Glad he liked his meal and managed it. Luke likes his food pretty thin atm.

hi pluto

Well, party was fab!!!! The lo's were so well behaved. Minimal hitting and shouting, they played nice and calmly, was very chilled. Perfect. A few of the boys can be little shits, but even the worst of them was lovely today.
Jacob was spoilt rotten with presents and had a fab day. Did the whole day without a nap and was very well behaved all day. I had to tell him off once for throwing a juice cup at a little girl, but that was it.

Just enjoying a few glasses of wine now they are in bed and I have tidied and cleaned the bedrooms and the kitchen. Living room will have to wait till tomorrow, I now have to find homes for all the new toys......

Glad the party went well LBB

We just seem to have toys and books scattered everywhere around the place at the moment, on top of all my clutter. Not sure how we're going to cope with 2 children being given even more toys/

I'm thinking of dnating older ones that are similar to new ones to hospital hildrens ward or something? Just getting round to sorting out and deciding what they might nt want anymore......

LBB, that sounds like a good idea.