May 2009 - loved-up new mums and/or sleep-deprived zombies this way please

[pulapula]

Here's a nice new thread for us to share our experiences with our new LOs.

[pulapula]

Dandy- only read your post once, but i think YANBU about your brother telling your mother about DSs birth given the fact you'd explained you didn't want to announce til you had a name. i am very funny about having a name for baby asap as i also think its nice to announce the name when you announce the birth. I think you should tell him how you felt about this and also that you need to be able to trust him when you ask him to do something.

[llareggub]

Dandy

will keep short as feeding and typing with one hand.

YANBU...

[pulapula]

Momino- not sure i can leave Sam to cry- he's so goddam loud - i can just about cope with the general wah wah wah cry that accompanies nappy changes. But not the "pig being slaughtered" cry as i describe it which i think is generally when he's tired or not happy about something. He doesn't really cry that much though- maybe that's because i just feed him whenever he does . Does anyone else do this? It's just i am a big fan of the "baby whisperer" and she says most new mums interpret every cry as hunger and i feel bad for not really knowing why he's crying.

[pulapula]

Momino- not sure i can leave Sam to cry- he's so goddam loud - i can just about cope with the general wah wah wah cry that accompanies nappy changes. But not the "pig being slaughtered" cry as i describe it which i think is generally when he's tired or not happy about something. He doesn't really cry that much though- maybe that's because i just feed him whenever he does . Does anyone else do this? It's just i am a big fan of the "baby whisperer" and she says most new mums interpret every cry as hunger and i feel bad for not really knowing why he's crying.

[llareggub]

I'm demand feeding too. I usually change his nappy every 3 hoursish so I end up feeding and changing a nappy in response to every cry. I must say I keep forgetting to burp the little chap, isn't it shocking how much you forget?

Bedtime was great this evening. DS went off without a fuss but I had to bribe him with a treat. Still, it was worth it!

[Blottedcopybook]

Dandy YA TOTALLY NBU, I'd be fuming too. You know there's an old adage about friends being God's apology for the family He bestows on you..?

Anyway, we're home and ZOMG (tmi) my piles are just unbelievably sore. My fajita is fine, no bruises, tears or stitches but my bum hurts Ugh ugh ugh.

[llareggub]

Well God must be tremendously apologetic towards me. My mother is coming to stay tomorrow for an unspecified length of time. I shall need to gather all of my wits about me and suppress my pregnancy hormones to avoid an allout tantrum from me!

[SpangleMaker]

Dandy YA totaly NBU. Your brother should understand and respect your wishes. I can understand him being excited by your news and perhaps not comprehending the depth of your feelings towards your Mum (the first time anyway), but he should not go against your express wishes. Hope you feel better after getting it off your chest.

Pula I've read BW and I guess she does have a point about interpreting every cry as hunger, I know it's always my first thought. But I was also told you can't overfeed a BF baby, they just won't have it if they don't want it. I think I can tell when H is actually taking milk or just comfort sucking. He doesn't do much of the latter but if he does, I just let him go for a while then gently take him off & try to comfort him other ways. I don't blame you for leaving him to cry for a short while with 2 other DC to look after, and I don't think it's a problem unless it's very prolonged/regular.

[SpangleMaker]

Sorry it was Momino concerned about leaving H to cry. I was going to add, I tend to agree with BW woman, babies should be allowed to express themselves and given the chance to ask for what they want - leaping on them at the least whimper isn't giving them the chance to communicate. Or that's my excuse, anyway!

[pulapula]

spangle- i do try and take a few moments to work out why DS2 is crying, by looking at body gestures, type of cry etc. Sometimes i find out its just a big poo on the way or some wind and sometimes he just cries whilst he wakes up and is fine once he has his eyes open. But i remember with DD i never knew her hungry cry- i just put her on the "easy" routine in the BW books so knew when she was hungry, tired etc.

[llareggub]

Thanks Dandy! If we can't indulge ourselves here, where can we?

[Momino]

Hi all. good to read comments on interpreting cries, etc. i do try to give a few minutes, have a look to see why she's crying and, actually, it's not obvious to me. she's demand feeding as well, about every 3-4 hours. and i've got her on a loose schedule so i can figure out (guess) if she's hungry or tired. most of the time, her intense cries seem to be because she's tired and can't settle; i'll pick her up and her legs come up like she's got a crampy tummy so also unsure whether it's colic.

anyway, a lot of her crying hasn't been frantic so i've had to leave her to cry and pay attn to DDs. i've also asked them to guess why she's crying and they always say that she needs a cuddle (how cute). and the cuddles always work!

[Momino]

dandy, i would feel exactly the same if my bro did that. you're NBA. Why would he do that ?

[Momino]

sorry i'm single-posting.

blotted, my piles have been really sore as well 2 weeks later. MW said to take baths so i have done every day putting a bit of tea tree oil in the bath water. it really is helping. i'm going to try lavender oil as well which i heard helps soothe piles. they're not fun .

[Momino]

oh, and it really bothered me when i read the BW when she said we'd soon be able to recognise baby's different cries and what they mean: i don't think i could ever tell so felt like a numpty that I don't know my baby's cries. Harper's cries are just as mysterious to me. but like Pula, since i've got her on a routine like EASY, at least I know what comes next in her schedule.

at the moment, i'm trying to wake her up for a feed but she is not waking up! I've changed her nappy, taken off a layer of clothes, picked her up, tried talking to her, tried putting her to the breast but nothing.... any other ideas? she's so deeply asleep, i think I'll just put her back down and let her wake up when she needs me. for a baby who was so active inside, she's so sleepy!

[Momino]

oh, i've scared everyone away from this thread then .

Harper didn't wake up until 4 to feed so luckily got 4+ hour stretch of sleep. she's finished now, took half an hour, so am back off to sleep hopefully until 7 when other dd's wake up.

baths - how often to you bath your newborn? must admit we don't do much, just 3 times in 16 days and top and tail the other days. we'll do more often as she gets older i think. I've read somewhere that it's better for baby's skin not to bath as much in this early time, is that right?

ok i'm going to stop talking to myself and go back to sleep. chat with you all later.

[Reggiee]

DANDY YANBU. However hard it is, I think you know your db is a mummies boy, but fgs - it is soooo your news to tell! You do right in limiting info to your db as it will go straight back to your mum regardless of what you say

BLOTTED you have my complete sympathies. I tore and had an episiotomy, but neither of those gave me any grief. But my PILES - god they hurt. When I had a tentative feel down there I couldn't believe how many they were. The mw made me get an emergency appointment with the doctors, and they prescribed me some fab cream and suppositories (unfortunately I couldn't find my anus to insert said suppositories ) but the cream worked within a week. Used a rubber ring for the first few days, then braved without it.

LLare glad bedtime went well . Good luck with your mum!

MOMINO / PULA I leave B to cry if it's fussy and I know he's not hungry / nappy etc. So much easier to let it go over your head with no2. I feel much happier at doing it with him, as with dd I picked her up and tried to feed her at each whimper and cry (as the Baby Whisperer pointed out to me), but it wore me out horrendously.

SPANGLE it sounds like we have a similar night to you - dh does last feed at 11ish, then 2.30ish, then 5ish.

Gotta go and feed the lo no0w. Have a good day!

[Blottedcopybook]

Reggiee and Momino Awwww you have my sympathies, it's not nice is it? At least we're not going through it alone. I tried to kind of poke them back in yesterday but I can barely touch because they hurt so much. I'll have a bath this morning and see if that helps.

Bathing baby - Greer hasn't been bathed yet, she was quite coated in vernix and that's so good for her skin that I'm just letting it flake off. I'll maybe pop her in the bath with me later on but there's no rush yet for me.

We were going to sleep last night at around half ten when I suddenly erupted into giggles so violent that DH thought I was crying. When he finally managed to get me to tell him what was happening, all I could manage was, "There's a placenta.... In my fridge!"

Yes ladies, in my gas-and-air post-birth haze I made the midwife wrap my placenta up in a bag and made DH take it home where it is indeed taking up a third of my fridge. Oh dear.

[ladyhelenatealltheeggs]

momimo thanks for posting a tip re piles! My mum is coming up this morning and so am now v tempted to take a bath whenshe gets here so she can have R, with some tea tree oil in as my piles are still (ahem) prominent, although the delightfully named anusol does help too.
Went on scales yesterday. Grrr. Only lost a 1lb this week. Am going to start some gentle excersing now I think.
dandy YANBU.

[Reggiee]

BLOTTED am intigued to know what you intend to do with your placenta......you shouldn't have reminded your dh - just served him up some 'liver' and onions . My dh thought I was grim when I asked the mw if I coul take a look st my placenta. A most amazing thing!

[Blottedcopybook]

Ahahahaha!! I actually had said before labour that I was toying with bringing the placenta home and burying it under one of the fruit trees that I have still to plant. I'm actually quite impressed that DH agreed to take the damn thing home so I guess I'll be getting him to bury a bloody big hole today!

[SpangleMaker]

Blotted at finding a placenta in your fridge! I was intrigued enough to have a good look but not enough to take it home.

baths we mostly topped & tailed for the first few weeks but for the last fortnight or so have introduced a bedtime routine of bath, then feed & cuddle to sleep at around 11pm. We don't use any products, just plain water. H got quite bad nappy rash - not sure why as we hardly ever used wipes - maybe he just has sensitive skin? But I figured it's best to leave him product-free for the time being.

The bedtime routine seems to work well, though it's more for my benefit at the moment than his. But since he seems happy with it we'll keep going.

crying I haven't figured out H's cries either. I can tell if he's just grumbling or, at the other extreme, if he's in distress, but 'normal' cries (hunger, wind, over-tired) sound the same to me I'm not really doing EASY (more like Eat - Activity - Eat - Sleep - Laundry) but I'm trying to be aware of what phase he's in & am gradually getting to know his eating & sleeping patterns so I make a guess based on that. I don't think H is properly colicky but he does tend to be quite grumpy in the evenings, not wanting to be put down & bringing his knees in to his chest. It's a bit tough on DH as this is the only proper time he gets to spend with H.

[pulapula]

I've not seen any of my 3 placentas and not sure i'd want one in my fridge either .

re bathing babies- DS2 is 1 week old today and was bathed in hospital last Tuesday but nothing else since. Not even top and tailed him but probably should now he's started bringing up milk so should probably check out his chin/neck creases.

DS2s cord stump came off yesterday and his tummy button sticks out by about 1cm. Anyone elses LOs have this? I wondered if it might be a small hernia- i will ask the MW when she comes tomorrow.