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April 2009 - Chapter 1: We're not pregnant, just fat!

1003 replies

PuzzleRocks · 16/05/2009 18:04

We made it!

The fab April ladies and their blessed progeny...

12 Feb: Skiingone: MARIANNA 4lb 4oz
20 Feb: Glaskham: RUBY MARIE 4lb 3oz
04 Mar: Barbarella: ESTELLA, ROSANNA, OTIS
05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz
15 Mar: Babypringle: OSCAR WILLIAM 7lb 2oz
28 Mar: Claireykitten: VIOLET ROSE 7lb 9oz
29 Mar: WhatFreshHell: FELIX DEVLIN ALEXANDER 10lb 5.5oz
31 Mar: Mumblemum: ORSON XERXES
02 Apr: Oddeyes: ELEANOR 9lb 8oz
03 Apr: Bleuravin: MEGAN LILLIAN CONSTANCE
03 Apr: Bumpalump: JACOB 8lb
04 Apr: BabyBolat: KARAHAN 6lb 5oz
05 Apr: Mrsfossil: ISLA LILIAN 7lb 10oz
06 Apr: BoffinMum: FELIX DAVID GORDON 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: SpringySunshine: GEORGE NATHAN 8lb 15oz
11 Apr: RachelinScotland: CLEMENT JAMES 8lb 14oz
11 Apr: Lou031205: ISLA SOPHIA 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: Electra: ISABELLA CAROLINE 6lb 3oz
11 Apr: AuldAlliance: ALEXANDRE 7lb 6oz
12 Apr: Phdlife: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 3oz
12 Apr: BethDivine: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 9oz
13 Apr: MathsMummy27: AMELIA CHARLOTTE
14 Apr: Purlease: ADAM 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Juwesm: HUGO GEORGE 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Bronze: ISAAC JOHN
15 Apr: HeidiT: HEIDI
15 Apr: Kalikaroo: Name TBA BOY 8lb
15 Apr: Minush: ZAFIRAH ROSA 7lb 12oz
15 Apr: FatandFedup: EMILIA ROSE 7lb 6oz
16 Apr: PuzzleRocks: HOLLY ELIZABETH 8lb
16 Apr: Brettgirl: HANNAH GRACE 6lb 15oz
16 Apr: ReallyTired: Name TBA GIRL
18 Apr: Staryeyed: Name TBA BOY 7lb 11oz
20 Apr: LuLuBai: SEBASTIAN 9lb
20 Apr: Swaliswan: BETH 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Kittycatisgettingfat: GABRIELLA AUDREY BIANCA
21 Apr: B52s: SAM MARTIN 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Schulte: HAZEL LOIS 7lb 9 oz
23 Apr: Tristaleejac: LEWIN 8lb 4oz
23 Apr: NuttyTaff: TIAHNA SKYE 8lb 8oz
23 Apr: Purplemonkeydishwasher: ISLA ELIZABETH 8lb 14oz
24 Apr: Soon2befamilyof4: TALIA 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Carameli: THEO LAURENCE 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Surprisenumber3: EVIE ANNE 8lb 2oz
26 Apr: Bicnod: OSCAR MATTHEW 8lb 1oz
27 Apr: Lauren61: OLIVER STEPHEN 7lb 7oz
27 Apr: Gingersarah: VERONICA ROISIN 9lb 1oz
30 Apr: MegBusset: ARCHIE 8lb 15oz
01 May: Satheresitting: Name TBA BOY
03 May: Conkertree: Name TBA BOY 8lbs 8oz
06 May: Frekkles: HARRIS MERLIN 8lb 5.5oz
07 May: TarteTatin: ALBERT JOHN
10 May: Ilovesummer: Name TBA BOY

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bronze · 24/05/2009 18:03

my aunt asked me how long my labour was and dotn know. Any idea what time I posted to say I think it's happening. I cant find it

Marthasmama · 24/05/2009 18:05

Thank you Bronze - yay

PuzzleRocks · 24/05/2009 18:25

By bronze Wed 15-Apr-09 09:45:37 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster
dont have time to catch up, congrats to Juw.

Its my dadas birthday today and I think he might be sharing it with someone small.
I'll text you Nutty as Mumbles still not online

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 24/05/2009 18:26

Gladly accepts cupcake and proffers some green & blacks and Waitrose rasperry and strawberry cheesecakes.

OP posts:
bronze · 24/05/2009 18:30

see how did I miss that. dont htink I looked early enough
thank you

so 4 1/4 hours roughly wow didnt realise it was that quick

SpringySponge · 25/05/2009 02:01

"You don't make any effort for me. How am I meant to find you attractive when you sit around for most of the day in grubby old pyjama bottoms & a strappy top? I'm your husband. In order to have sex I have to find you attractive in the first place, which won't happen when you look like you've just got out of bed."

Cunt. I never use that word, but seriously. Right now I just hope he fucking dies. We have a six week old baby. & I don't even wear anything grubby. It all gets washed - all laundry gets done every day. & I change tops when they get milk / sick on them. & all I have to wear apart from PJ bottoms is one pair of jeans, which aren't very comfortable to sit around the flat in - even he sits around in his underwear & whatever's on top. Massive fucking hypocrite. So fucking spiteful & offensive. Looks like another night on the sofa for me. Cunt cunt cunt. There are just no words for how much I want to knock him out right now. It's not just that, obviously. It's months of this shit. Months of it & this is just the culmination of it all. Fucker.

SpringySponge · 25/05/2009 07:52

Sorry about the sweariness. & the publicly wishing him dead. I take that back. I was beyond upset & angry, because it was just a culmination of a lot of things. I'm calmer now. I hope everyone's okay xx

AuldAlliance · 25/05/2009 08:17

Springy,
can't post much, having weird blurry vision; just to say keep strong and rant (and curse) all you like on here.........

BabyBolat · 25/05/2009 08:39

springy!!! oh my word - what a horrible thing to say - what on earth is he thinking?
so so insensitive

brettgirl2 · 25/05/2009 09:29

Hi all - I haven't been near a computer for over a week I think it's a case of getting back into RL I bit more!

Springy, I'm worried about you sweetie. Sorry to be a little bit blunt but I don't like this suggestion that you are lucky that he has sex with you. In fact the opposite is true, it is him that is lucky. I can tell you my DH would get nowhere near me until he started treating me with the respect that I deserve. At the end of the day there are always other ways of achieving the same erm, effect if you know what I mean

While I'm on the subject of sex, I had sex a week ago and it hurt my scar quite a lot. I don't know whether this is a problem or whether it will just take a bit more time to settle down. I would try again but I think I now have a period (after five weeks ffs!). I will have to ask the doctor I suppose at my 6 week check on Thursday, that will be a rather type conversation even after the indignities of childbirth and her inspecting my piles a few weeks ago

Hugs to all those who aren't well/suffering various pain problems. Has anyone heard from Lauren?

Ultimate 'common April mum' moment I found a way of stopping Hannah crying yesterday -evening - we took her down the pub haha . Would you believe that she started crying again the second we got home . After a pint and a half of carlsberg though I feel quite hungover

I also used to be 10/12 in trousers and am currently 14/16 . I look OK because I am tall but I really need to get back into shape. I am watching what I'm eating which I don't normally but it just doesn't seem to be coming off yet

brettgirl2 · 25/05/2009 09:30

Although my diet clearly doesn't extend to avoiding lager, which may be a good start....

AuldAlliance · 25/05/2009 09:49

BB, I'm not sure, have weird spells where there is a moving blurry patch across my vision.
Maybe lack of sleep? Probably not helped by blinding sun and heat (35° yesterday, 27.3 in our bedroom.).
Bit worried about crossing roads with DS1 on school run at lunchtime.
Definitely not helped by MNing, will have to love you and leave you, ladies.

brettgirl2 · 25/05/2009 09:52

Migraine? There are different types, not all are pain and sickness.

Juwesm · 25/05/2009 09:56

I agree, CUNT. And I never use that word either. Plus, is a little strappy vest with big breastfeeding norks not sexy?

I used to be a 14/16 and am currently a 14/16!!

gingersarah · 25/05/2009 10:46

Springy, so sad and angry for you.

Maybe kick him out for a bit. Or something else that might cause serious reality check. This is beyond unacceptable.

(Wearing anything clean is a huge achievement by the way)

And you could demand immediate payment from his personal finances of a 3 figure sum for clothes - if he is going to come out with "I am your husband", implicitly invoking all the 1950s rules of your ornamental obedience, remind him that his side of the deal is that your wardrobe (and everything else) is adequately bankrolled.

Don't accept this, this is a terrible precedent.

PuzzleRocks · 25/05/2009 10:47

Auld - I get flashing zig zags that spread to the periphery and then disappear. It comes on really quick and lasts for maybe 5 minutes. Is that what you are experiencing? Hot baths, and prolonged VDU usage seem to bring it on.

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 25/05/2009 10:49

Springy - . How are you today sweetheart?

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 25/05/2009 10:52

Springy - I don't think that has anything to do with how you look or how often you are washing stuff. It's about him being jealous of George's claims on your attention. Saying he won't have sex with you is his way of upping the stakes, of trying to get you to put him first. Imo it's pretty pathetic - but I know that's not terribly helpful. It will ease as G gets bigger and he falls more in love with him. Just don't ever, ever think it's your fault. You are doing fine - this really is all about him.

And why are you on the sofa? If anybody's own the sofa it should be him.

PuzzleRocks · 25/05/2009 10:54

Hey Brett - Cheap date huh? I'm the same now.
Nowt wrong with the pub since they banned smoking. Sounds like you had a good time.
Scar discomfort is normal at this stage, just keep an eye on it.

OP posts:
AuldAlliance · 25/05/2009 10:56

Puzzle, that's it.
Kind of migraine maybe.

Springy, he does need a short sharp shock, but easier said than done (I am not very good at making a stand...).

BB, thanks for doing the awards. I am delighted to be acknowledged as a cosmopolitan pedant who can shoot a watermelon out of her fanjo give birth in double quick time.

School run done, off to make lunch.

AuldAlliance · 25/05/2009 10:58

Puzzle, that's it.
Kind of migraine maybe.

Springy, he does need a short sharp shock, but easier said than done (I am not very good at making a stand...).

BB, thanks for doing the awards. I am delighted to be acknowledged as a cosmopolitan pedant who can shoot a watermelon out of her fanjo give birth in double quick time.

School run done, off to make lunch.

AuldAlliance · 25/05/2009 10:59

argh, server crashed so I posted twice

SpringySponge · 25/05/2009 11:12

Thanks girls. I don't know yet how I'm going to deal with it. I will deal with it, but I'm running on so very little sleep & am rather shocked & overwhelmed at the moment. I need some time to think. It's tempting to go back to Birmingham again, for a start. I almost phoned my dad to fetch me at 2 in the morning, but decided against it out of decency. Besides, it seems unfair to involve them.

The thing that really gets me is that I remember quite painfully contorting myself around my pregnancy bump to shave my legs & my fanjo every couple of days right up to less than 24 hours before I gave birth. & then was shaving very gingerly around my two huge scars when George was only two weeks old. In my mind that alone is a huge effort. Apparently it's misplaced. & apparently he's not bothered if I'm hairy or not. Which he is. He's told me that. It just suits him to forget that at the moment.

& the hypocrisy - he sits around in the underwear he's worn in bed until stupid times of the day. Yesterday he built a chest of drawers in them & didn't even shower until 6pm. When I pointed this out, he said 'what was the point in getting dressed when I was only going to get dirty building furniture?' To which I said 'EXACTLY!'

He's also decided that he really wants to grow a beard. He shaves because I don't like it when he stabs me with his stubble. But out of nowhere (after years of whinging that he couldn't grow one even if he wanted to & that if he did it would be patchy & different colours) he's decided that I'm stopping him from having a beard, which is of course, his life's ambition now.

We are vaguely talking now. Mostly because when it got to 5am & we were still going on about it & I'd just finished feeding George again I decided that it was just time to get some sleep. He's in bed at the moment (naturally), but when he gets up things will be civil. He may even 'treat' me to some sex if I'm really lucky Which, by the way, he told me that I seemed like I was being (& here's that word again!) 'ungrateful' for the fact that we do have sex roughly twice a week. Which is just when he fancies an orgasm. The rest of the time he's not interested in me sexually at all.

He didn't sell himself like this at first. He made out like he was really into sex & even a bit dirty. He's not. Although he says that he never gave that impression & that his current low sex drive is my fault because I'm often snappy & impatient with him. Which I am. I'm sleep deprived & fed up of being treated like the help as opposed to his wife, so I do snap a lot. & ideally I wouldn't. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it too much when he keeps spouting this shit.

Ever since I was 15 I've done nothing but bounce from relationship to relationship, chasing sex. Not one person has ever really wanted me. I don't understand how some women can feel harassed by their husbands / boyfriends for sex & pretend that they have a headache - my life has never been like that. It's depressing & makes me feel shit & unattractive. I have also found far more than my fair share of people with difficulties (to say the least) getting or maintaining an erection. Considering my age, it's not what you'd expect. So I do begin to think that maybe it is me. I know that it isn't. I know that I am actually quite attractive, even now, after giving birth 6 weeks ago. I know that if I went on the pull I would find people who would want to have sex with me. But it just worms its way into my awareness every so often that it is always me & maybe there's a reason for that.

When I first got together with DH, he really fancied me. When we saw each other only at weekends, by the time we were together again we could barely make it to our hotel room before ripping at each other's clothes. I think without that, I wouldn't have got involved. Because it's too damaging to keep feeling hideously undesirable to the one person it matters about & I would've just steered clear. As it is it's happened anyway.

But then I'm just letting stuff from my past affect our marriage & it's all in my very unreasonable head. Apparently.

Will catch up now, sorry xx

SpringySponge · 25/05/2009 11:14

Just quickly read that back. We do not have sex roughly twice a week; we have sex approximately twice a week. I wouldn't want any confusion there

SpringySponge · 25/05/2009 11:31

trista, well done for being so strong with your ex - not being sad at him going is a massive step. Very proud! xx

Puzzle, how did the night of champagne go?

BB, I seriously doubt that I'm more attractive than you. You could be rolled around in mud & dragged through a hedge & have Kara sick & wee & poo all over you & still look amazing I wear joggers sometimes as well. It seems they're not far enough removed from PJs.

brett, I find it really difficult to turn down sex Sadly, I think I am a bit grateful when I get it. I love sex & the intimacy & that it tends to magically fix the bad atmosphere after an argument. I don't think I've ever turned down sex in my life. & I gave him a BJ night before last, so he won't even begin to notice or care for a while yet. I'm not sure that I do want horribly degrading sex which exploits my insecurities, though. But then he'd just say that I'm not giving him a chance to make things better & prove that he actually does want me, blah blah blah. I don't know how to counter that.

Yay for the pub being so effective! Nothing at all wrong with that! Also from the school of bad unusual parenting, I've discovered that blowing into his face whilst he's screaming makes him have to stop to catch his breath. Very useful when you think that your head may explode with one more second of that awful noise.

Auld Sorry that you're feeling so crappy. That's quite some intense heat - I'm not surprised that it's affecting you, especially with BFing & everything too - make sure you keep your fluids up xx

Ju, I'd have thought that the strappy vest / big norks combo was a winner. I did think that. Turns out I was mistaken. I also spend a lot of time wandering around in just a strappy top & knickers, or only a towel after a shower, in the hope that he'll notice me & think 'phwoar'. It it yet to happen.

ginger, 'his' money is 'our' money & we just can't afford to spend anything on clothes right now. I've spent about £50 & now have 3 vests, 2 tops to go over them, 1 pair of jeans & a dress. I also have 1 - yes, ONE - nursing bra. I thought that it didn't matter, as everything's always clean when I wear it & I thought that he could see beyond that stuff. Evidently not.

NL, I'm not even sure that that is the case. He gets loads of my attention. I'm always cuddling him & kissing him & being really affectionate. Whenever George is asleep I try to have some couple time. He is nearly always too busy on his laptop to cuddle me back or engage in conversation, but I do try. & I'm very often available to him. He said the other day that he'd cut back on his internet time, so we'll see.

& he never sleeps on the sofa. He refuses point blank to get out of bed. Usually we both sleep in the same bed, but far apart. If I really, really can't stand to be near him it's me who has to move. He simply won't. When I was about 4 months pregnant we had a massive argument & he shouted at me that I should have an abortion (he didn't mean it obviously, but he still said it) & I became hysterical & threw him out of the bedroom. He stayed out for about 10 minutes whilst I wailed into a pillow, then came back to tell me that it was too cold in the living room & he was going to sleep in the bed after all.

Bastard.

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