Fab Feb 2009: baby coos, stinky poos - three months on...

[dinkystinky]

so here we go again

MoS - am sending you huge hugs again today. Your DH does sound like he's being really insensitive - maybe he's in denial about your mum passing away (going on about going to see his parents sounds like your mum passing away has hit him on some level). Either way, he should be pulling his socks up and supporting you with the emotional comfort and practical help you need now. I really hope he realises what you need today from him and apologises for being so insensitive last night.

Re the will - the only thing you can do about it from KSA is to ask your mum's solicitor to confirm it was properly executed. Then take things from there when you get back to the UK.

you're right mos, he's being a total shit.... christ, dp gave me more sympathy when my kitten died ffs i'm so sorry you've got no one close to you for support, i wish some of us were closer, i'd be round like a flash if i could be.

mos I agree, your dh seems to be being quite insensitive at the moment doesn't he?
Some people don't know how to be supportive through grief, like you say, it comes and goes so can be quite hard to assess the mood sometimes. That is no excuse though, I am so sorry.

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. It does sound like a very strange reaction - maybe it was a lack of sleep thing?

And sorry to hear about the problems with the will. It makes a very stressful and emotional time so much worse. I hope you can resolve all the issues without any more upset.

Let us know if there's anything that we can do to help.

MOS, of course you're not mad, you've got a real reason to feel terribly sad. And it's all the harder when you don't live in the same country.

Meet up, I'd love to come to a meet up in the week beginning 22 June. The following week I'm running away from London to "celebrate" my birthday in Yorkshire (it's a scary getting old one) although I'll be back on 2/3 July.

Swampster, MsLucy or any one with older boys who have done the potty training thing - quick question for you: today DS1 is screaming that his willy is hurting him (when sitting down and also when peeing) and it looks a bit swollen. Am trying to get an emergency out of hours appointment as he's really distressed. Have any of you had this with your boys and if so, any recommendations on what I can do to help alleviate his distress?

update. the total shit sent me flowers this morning!!! DS took delivery of them and asked where I wanted them put and my reply was along the lines of when DH returns tell him to pull his pants down and bend over. Guess sense of humour has to be the last thing to go.

Had a very odd morning. Nanny (obviously the paid one) was here so I went for a walk as didn't want DD seeing me upset. went down to the shopping complex and there was a baby howling away in the hairdressers. Someone commented that it had been screaming for ages so I went in to see who it was (I know the hairdresser) turns out it was one of the women I know casually who had the baby dumped on her by the little girls mum (aged 10 months) as her mum had stuff to do! The little girl was therefore sitting on this ladies lap whilst she had her hair cut and coloured and was screaming her little head off. The lady holding her said she'd needed a nappy change but she couldn't do it at that time (obviously) and anyway, the mum didn't leave any nappies, wipes etc. I rummaged through my bag and had a spare pull up for Grace but no wipes so went to shop next door, bought wipes and then took the little girl off and changed her etc, gave her loads of cuddles, calmed her down and returned her. Pull up way too big for her but she had little knickers to match her dress so they held it up. When I handed her back the hairdresser suddenly looked at me properly and said I didn't look well at which time I completely broke down and they both started fussing over me.
Am I really weird to voluntarily take someone else baby off to change her dirty nappy. Think I need to keep busy.

dinky, can't help with the boy problem I'm afraid, DS1 is far to old for me to remember but I hope you can get an emergency appointment. Am wondering if it could be some sort of UTI? Bugger, forgot its bank holiday weekend, sods law. Do you have a drop in/minor injuries centre at your local hospital? Hope he is ok poor little thing.

MoS I am sorry to hear about your mum and sorry to you're having such a rotten time with DH.

I don't blame you feeling very angry with him but his rubbishness may well be connected to just not knowing what to say.

Also, without meaning to be nosy, what was his relationship to your mum? If they weren't close it might be hard for him to share your feelings.

Dinky No experience of sore willies in this house. I think a trip to GP/nurse would be in order. Do you have a walk in clinic you can take him to?

Do any of his trousers have zips in them? It could be something as simple as that or even a little ahem self abuse, which starts a lot earlier than you'd imagine.

We had a great night out but boy am I knackered today. Can't wait for bedtime.

MOS sorry your DH has been a shit but at least he must realise that he has as otherwise he wouldn't have sent flowers....still no doubt it would have been nicer if he could have realised at the time rather than afterwards eh.

Dinky DS sometimes gets a sore willy. It looks a bit red at the tip and if (if he lets me- often doesn't) you push the foreskin back it might be a little bit red in there too. I tend to find it comes and goes but I remember he used to complain it was sore when he wee'd. Does this sound like it? It was never excruciating pain but I suspect a little bit sore when the wee (hot) touched it. If you get someone to advise what it is let me know !

We've been out and about today - lunch and then an impromptu trip down the Thames on a boat - DS is very very tired. Although it's pretty muggy here I've got a chicken in the oven ready to roast. Yum. Busy week here - seeing a friend tomorrow and then we're off to the coast for a couple of days with the kids and my mum and sil and her three boys - so hopefully the sun will shine and DS won't whinge ?!

MOS forgot to say - if you need any advice re wills - my sister is a private client lawyer and I can always ask her any ?'s you might have once you have a better idea of the position.....

MoS - sounds like you're understandably still in shock. Take the time to grieve, to laugh, cry, remember, rant - whatever you need to do in order to get through this. A friend who saw a grievance counsellor was told that grieving is basically a circle - you go through all the emotions over and over until at last you've spun the wheel so much and so often it flips over to acceptance and peace. I hope your DH is now being the support you need.

Thanks MsLucy and Herbgarden. We took DS1 to out of hours GP in local hospital - apparently its an infection within his willy [yuck emoticon] which is commonly caused in little boys when they wee and not all the wee comes out from the foreskin. We've been given some cream to apply and if it doesnt clear up by Thursday will have to go back to the GP - who may prescribe circumcision [ouch emoticon] if it persists. Poor DS1 - he's been doing brilliantly at potty training but now is terrified to go

o dear god, i'm worried now! ds1 keeps getting a sore penis and his foreskin is still very imobile, actually completelt imobile so could well be causing a bit of retained pee.... eek!

MsLucy, on a much lighter note than the conversation here of late, how did your ds1's party go on Saturday. I hope you rewarded yourself for Friday's exertions with lots of nice party food.

Funny you say that but when DS started potty training I often wondered if he'd wee'd enough IYSWIM. He's an impatient soul so would get up I felt too quickly and would then need to go again. So, maybe he retained some pee as they've advised you. What a pain with the OPT thought - he was doing so well too wasn't he - it doesn't take much to knock them off course does it.

Just watching that Everest Doctors thingy. It's quite interesting - those guys are brave.

I am knackered this evening......

Awww look

MOS I'm sorry to hear your sad news and that DH is being less than sympathetic. I lost both my parent when I was in my early 20s. It's awful losing parents at any age but I think some people assume if you're grown up it's OK when frankly, it's not.

awwwwwwww

Just dropping by quickly a have been away most of the weekend and haven't caught up. MOS so sorry to hear your news - and that your DH is being so completely insensitive - that behaviour is really inexcusable. Sending you lots of hugs.

HOM - that makes me feel all nostalgic!

Awwwwww Feb 2010! (Please note, I am not on it )

I really don't know why I'm not in bed yet... I have had an organising day, cleared out the cupboard under the stairs, created a toybox for F by clearing a load of crap out of a wicker hamper, sorted out my box files and made a pile for shredding...

Made brown bread icecream which is yum. And then ate some. Bought DS a new car seat.

The house is tidy for once and I feel all in order.

mos You're not weird for helping with someone elses baby. You're maternal instincts take over and think most of us would have done the same if we had gone in and seen it was someone we 'knew'.
MS Glad you had a good night out.
dinky Your poor ds1, must be a bit sore. Hope it gets better soon.
thom That thread has made me smile. Makes me remember the early days of pregnancy, the joy of seeing that line, the excitement of a new baby, the overwhelming happiness.......and the the morning sickness kicks in and it's all over!

Luke has his 3rd set of jabs today. Poor thing.
He keeps waking up through the night after getting his legs stuck through the cot bars, is very annoying (fr both of us).
Dp wants to take the cot bars off of ds1's cot tonight. I'm not ready for that and don't really think ds1 is either, but dp wants to do it now while he has to sit in with him. Although he isn't doing anything to help get ds1 to settle himself (like gradual withdrawing) so I imagine he'll spend the rest of his life in there anyway . Dp thinks the best thing to do is to just sit with him for however long it takes until he is talking more and can understand a bit more and he can tell ds he is popping to toilet/getting a drink/ will be back in a minute etc, again, we don't agree but he thinks it's best. I don't really know what I want to do about it, feel too guilty leaving him to cry and after a few minutes (literally 3) he gets himself so worked up he hypoventilates(sp?). I really don't know how best to crack this.

bless that thread! I shant be on it after a trip to the walk in on sun (with dh's utmost panick insistence). That said, my cousin's morning after pill is 15 mths old

a further reason to be put off being silly, it costs £26.50 if you dont get it on prescription!!!

£26.50 well spent though surely if you are no ready for another?

thanks for all your lovely comments girls, really helps having 'friends' to 'talk' to.

dinky hope DS's little chap gets better and he doesn't need surgery

herby thanks for the offer ref probate. I'd thought/hoped it would be all straightforward as my mum and dad had made mirror wills at my old firm years ago but it appears my brother seems to think mum made a new will last year and also granted him POA which I knew nothing about. Also seems that him and my other brother have withdrawn HUGE sums of money from her bank acount, around £70k last year and around £25k a few months ago when she was in hospital

MS what the hell is brown bread ice cream?????

Mmmm it's lovely. You mix breadcrumbs with sygar and bake them to make cruchy nuggets and mix them into homemade icecream.

Morning all!

elkie
party was ace - kids just went mental on trampoline and parents got drunk on the large quantity of cheap fizzy wine I provided.

I'm afraid all the food was devoured so although I managed to snaffle a couple of chicken legs, it wasn't quite the stuff your face fest I'd imagined.

Had another party at the living hell that is Clown Town on Sun and a lovely one on the Heath yesterday.

Off to Thomasland this afternoon - will the fun never stop?!

Hope everyone is ok today and looking forward to a soggy half term.