December 2008 Coven - white light and basket cases

[EffiePerine]

Seeing as LadyT broke the thread...

Oh how exciting a little secret society I'm happy to change my name.

Morning girls,

Sorry to hear about the rough nights some are experiencing ? Effie, Spot, Syb?Syb, I think it's a good idea. I don't use FB tons as it takes ages to load then often crashes my ancient laptop. We could plot the whys and wherefores on email and that way, we would also copy in those people who don't post much now or not at all, and so would know where to find us. We could all change our names subtly so no longer searchable....

Arti, I am glad you have come to a decision about the house conundrum. I think deciding is the hardest thing. How is your back now? We are in limbo with our house. Hope you get an answer on your sensible house soon!

Tilly, re: baby weight (and I think Kayz was on about this too) - I am envious of your bonny DS! I haven?t had DD weighed since she was 14 weeks and she was 5.61kg then which is 25th centile, which she has been pretty much all the way through (though she did drop down to 9th briefly). I weighed her myself this morning and she is only about 5.8 at best, 6 weeks later! This brings her back down to 9th again. PMK, I think you were worrying about this too. I did think she had lost a bit of weight recently as her appetite has been a little off. But she is bright, happy and alert so I don?t think I should worry overly. However, I suppose I should reluctantly take her to the HV, because the book says if they aren?t putting on weight at this stage, I may need to make her feeds less diluted (under medical supervision) or try her with solids. I suppose she is over 20 weeks so it wouldn?t be all that long until we did that anyway. Well, so much for bottle fed babies being heavier! Spot, I think this illustrated how different babies are ? she has slept through for a month or more BUT she doesn?t have the appetite of young T. Part of the trouble is that she is so darn nosey. This morning?s feed was a case in point. She was last fed at 11.45 or whatever last night, so at 8 this morn you?d think she?d be quite interested in a bottle, but she was craning her neck to see what DP was up to in the kitchen, breaking off to smile at me or to chat, looking out the window?Any noise and she wants to know what it is. It?s like being at a party with someone who is constantly looking over your shoulder to see if someone more interesting is coming along.

ZJ, goodness, your butcher is polite! Making use of food is good. I am a terrible spendthrift but I hate wasting food and love using kitchen ingredients to make things or using leftovers. It gives me immense pleasure. You got a lot out of your chicken. DP bought a huge turkey really cheaply after Easter and he seems to have been boiling the bones for days. I think he has made turkey soup, which has gone in the freezer next to THAT pheasant stew?

Jolly ? the mac came yesterday! It?s great. Really good quality and such a nice pattern. But I think I ordered too large a size, just mulling over whether to send it back and get a smaller one. Sandal, the sizes seems quite generous.

And, Sandal, I like your new name. It has a ring to it. But will you mind if we don?t use it in full? Yes, River Island isn?t that good any more. I remember when it first started it had a more upmarket image and the shops had ?antique? tennis rackets adorning the walls and photos of 1930s floppy haired toffs. Do you have any of the same shops in Australia? How does shopping compare? Same question to PMK! Oh, and Sugar is on her hols.

Lal ? purple hair? Wowzers! Yes, I need my colour done too, but it is such a bore. There is a Toni and Guy in Oxford and I am thinking of going there ? I always used to go to Vidal Sassoon in Whiteley?s (apart from last time when I had DP?s crazy hairdresser) but my bloke left a year ago and I have never been happy with them since and I keep trying new people. I don?t know about male writers but I DO prefer a male hairdresser. They seem better

Well, my activities tomorrow have been revealed ? I am off to a place called Hoarcross Hall, which is a posh old house/spa. I have been booked into a selection of treatments ? hot stone massage, facial etc ? and almost best of all, I have a golf lesson there! I fancy taking up golf, you see, so it will be great to have a try.

Anyway, seeing as it?s Friday and we have been talking about female writers, here is a link to a short story I greatly admire, which, despite what I said yesterday, is written by a woman. It is only short and is called ?A Cup of Tea?, and is short enough to read whilst you have a cup of tea (not that I drink the stuff myself). I think it is a jewel. Have lovely weekends all? Enjoy

Sybs: good plan. Do I have your current email btw? I seem to recall probs with bouncing emails a while back. Also jj: I get an autoreply from your email but you may still be able to access it

I am up for it but only problem is if we discuss it here whoever it was the reported Verso could just find us again. But I'd like to keep my name as I'm just so used to it.

Actually I might change my name. Don't know if I will think of anything though.

Kayz, we can do it over email and then it will be secret squirrel.

Oh yeah that would be good.

Morning all!

No time for a proper catch-up (will try later) but spot & Effie have just emailed you in case you haven't seen it.

Only skimmed but are we talking about a new thread & new IDs just for V's stuff or moving the whole thing to some secret location? If it's the latter, can I be the lone voice of dissent (am making a habit of it I know) but I quite like having the thread in Post Natal as I do like it when we get the occasional new latecomer which always enriches the mix (remember what life before spot was like?). We do also get the odd fly-by from posters of the past. Just as importantly there are probably a few December mums lurking who are too shy to post and who can feel like they are sharing the experience of others nevertheless. I would hate to spoil it for them for the sake of one misguided individual. By the sounds of what V is saying it is someone she knows in RL - presumably she can have a word with that person? There is the option of FB/email/separate thread for V's personal stuff, then V could continue to post here as well under a separate name. This secrecy stuff makes me a bit uncomfortable really - but that's probably just me. Not up for changing my posting name either tbh.

Would anybody else be up for continuing to post here, even if there is a parallel thread going on? Not sure if that is workable really but hey, no harm in asking!

poison, I seem to remember our first conversation was about picking scabs

I do agree with PD, We've had a far few people join us since the los were born. Plus we shouldn't have to move because some pysco(sp) is stalking Verso They should fuck(excuse my french) off and get a life!!!

Mmmm...I love the idea of the secret thread but PD puts up a very good arguement against. I can't decide might sit here on the fence a while and see which way things go. I would like to change my name but will see how things pan out first.

I'm just trying to settle Ds2 off for a nap. He has had a very overstimulated hour as I put him in the bouncer thing that hangs off the Amby frame. Ds1 then used the frame base as a goal and ds2 was the goal keeper. He let quite a few goals through as you would expect but he loved it anyway his first proper game interaction thing with his big brother. But it all got a bit much and he got over tired so am trying to get him off to sleep.

Lady you have to be very careful with using more formula powder. Aren't there higher calorie formulas or something? My SILs baby was on an SMA formula for hungrier babies. However that might just be her size the lower centiles don't mean they are underweight. Your not a particularly large lady, is DP tall? Ask your mum what your weight was like as a baby?

The whole big baby little baby thing is diffcult though I think some people do have big baby envy in a nasty way not in the way Lady was saying. I think they then say things to make people with big babies feel like their baby is freakish. Kayz I have to say I was impressed by your DS2 and his size but was actually more impressd by his ability. I think he is bigger than 15lb 2oz though as ds2 was 15lb 5oz at his last weigh in and I think he is smaller than your D. I wonder how much hair weighs, he is quite a hair bear.

PD, I do see what you say. Hmm. Yes. I am happy to go with the flow.

Veggie, I would only use more formula with doctor's supervision. (Ditched the sandals already? ) DP is tall. Before I had DD I was slim! I was a big baby though, over 9lb born, so she is different to me. I actually don't think there is a problem as she seems happy and alert - I think she is probably just small. But DP is fretting himself into a frappuccino about it and I just KNOW he is going to ask his mother when we go up there tonight and I am going to have to endure her halfwitted, outdated pronouncements on the entire affair

Hi Lal, good to hear from you again. Good luck with the hair colour today! Also lovely to hear from some old friends on the email, thanks for sending the list out again Effie. Has anyone heard from Turnip recently? Although I think her nanny has finished now, so I guess she?s extra busy with it being school holidays

How?s the baking going Sybil? I hope you got a sit down while it was all in the oven. I?m another one with a bad night but, like you, don?t feel too bad today. I rang DH this morning to ask him to come home early (he?s been away) so I can rest this afternoon, but have just rang him back to tell him not to bother as then he?d end up working tomorrow instead

Kayz thanks for the FB tip off

I agree with everyone, on the where to post issue. I like the idea of a secret society (very Enid Blyton, in a 21st century online way) and especially being able to include V again, but also don?t want to lose old friends or potential new ones (and, having racked my brain I can?t think a new name). I think making better use of the FB group, plus continuing on here is a good compromise. Oh, and talking of new names ? Veggie/sandal what was the name you wanted, that had already been taken?

Arti I?m pleased you?ve solved your house problem. A house is just bricks and mortar, whereas a school will play a large part in shaping who your LO?s grow into. Saying that, a home is much more than bricks and mortar and indecisive me would talk about 50 years to work out what?s best

LadyT Your weekend sounds lurvely, I?ve never had a hot stone massage and they really intrigue me, so you must report back. And thanks for the story, I made myself a cuppa and enjoyed it a lot

Ta ra for now

so we should leave the secret shed on FB then? Do we get passwords and a gang salute?

Mmmm I slept in the spare room last night. I actually had 2 hours of sleep together at one point!

Zoe well done on domesticness. We always get whole chickens, butcher them ourselves and make stock/freeze bits. So much cheaper.

I would love more time to read. Don't think I favour male or female. Currently reading a kate atkinson and wondring what all the fuss is about.

ocado lal?

sybil i have the same issue expressing. I struggle to get an oz now which is very annoying as am trying to offer a bottle each day to get her taking it so end up resorting to sma at times.

Spa sounds good ladyt. I have a spa day to cash in from my christmas present but would need dd taking a bottle first!

and dd is crying at me so off I go

Hi all,
yeah I was worried about the weight thing too Lady, I had ds weighed on Tues and he was 6.1kg and had put on over half a kg in 3 weeks since the top ups of formula. Pleased about that but he's still below 25th however gaining fast now.

I'm up for the name change etc... in fact i sometimes get the feeling someone I know reads / has read my posts - you know when you think 'wait i didn't say that to that person in RL'

Syb that happened to me on the expressing but i think my own fault as i was not expressing at the same time every day. i also heard cheerfulness slows production but I'm dismissing that as an old wives tale My supply is diminishing but I keep trying to express in the AM and keep adjusting the pump - one thing that's weird, if I don't express first thing (ie if I wander around and get breakfast first etc, I get less than if I express right after I wake up ? Prob to do with the let down since I would have just fed him off the other side? Who knows. just keep up the Fenugreek (I didn't see improvement for about 5 days) and then pump as often as you can - someone said no more than 10 mins a side each time? Again, not sure why?

lady your weekend sounds fabulous!!! Enjoy it! oooh we could have a MN spa day!!!

Hello from a v small studio flat on Brighton. Whose idea was it to stay in a studio with two little kids (eyes DH)?? We are in B'ton for SiL's 40th. I love it here. It's where my mum lived before she died so I am going to take the girls to her grave tomorrow, it will be a nice thing to do although I am not sure how to explain a grave to DD1.

I am abit concerned about the secret thread idea. I fear we would lose people in the transfer. If it's off MN people just won't be in the habit of checking. Also I post elsewhere on MN and have had this name for years so would be reluctant to lose that identity. I do feel for V though, not sure what to do really...

How is the hair Lal? Does purple suit?

I think it is better to just keep in touch with V through FB unless she wished to come back, this isn't a secret club and needs to remain open to all. We can easily all make an effort to check FB or use the mailing list more if V wants to rant at us.

Just popping on quickly as running around like a headless chicken today, 30 odd family arriving for this weekends Christening, but I think the idea of V and a few others name changing to throw this person off the scent is a good idea. But I guess we should see whether Verso actually wants to come back on here. I'd be happy to name change, but it only probably needs 5 or 6 of us to do it I would think.
Just thought I'd throw my twopenneth in....

You know what I think would help telling this person to out themselves to Verso and promise not to do it again. It seems if he/she spoke to V's HV then they obviously care about her so if he/she said sorry won't lurk again and then we can go back to feeling safe to talk about lifes problems (to varnish or not to varnish, whether wee comes out at sociably unacceptable times etc). So should I tell them, oh just have I think.

The name I wanted was laughing Buddha because that's what ds2 looks like.

Arti that is lovely about taking your DDs to your mums grave. How old is DD1. I have posted before about taking ds1 to my dads grave when he was a bit under 2.5 years.

Lady we have a lot of the same and similar clothing stores in Australia. One that I liked which has opened up over here recently is Esprit. The whole Westfields thing is owned by an Aussie so I have been going to Westfields shopping centers as long as I can remember. I think he is bringing some of the brands over with him. We tended to call large indoor shopping centers Westfields even if they weren't. Similar to the way you call all vacuum cleaners Hoovers. However, I def buy more clothes than I did back home. Partly because fashion is so much more important over here and also because you have such distinct seasons. Some clothes I can wear all year back home, whereas here I tend to bag and store my winter clothes in summer and vis versa.

Hello all, my goodness you're chatty as ever! Whatever V feels the most comfortable with sounds like the best way to go - it would certainly be a shame to go elsewhere and risk losing our newcomers (hi MomOrMum if you're out there ) and those of us like me who don't get on as often as we'd like would lose you completely

Oh a MN spa weekend sounds lovely. My mother never did spas as that was a bit of an impractical indulgence. As a result I love them. DH often gets me a spa voucher for a pressie. Whoever it was who said they got a voucher make sure you use it soon as even the ones that are a monetary value rather than a specific treatment have an expiry date.

Oh and PMK how are you feeling today? And Arti how's your back? Hi JJ.

Hey where is Bisou must be busy now she is performing again.

I?m enjoying the literary tangent of this thread! LadyT - As a booklover, your job sounds very exciting. . I?ve only read DL?s Grass/Singing book. Really enjoyed it but every time I go to pick up another of hers I decide not to because the others sound a bit ?out there?. Never thought about whether I like male or female authors best but one of my very favourites (Shirley Hazzard) is female. Also on a big Margaret Drabble kick lately. Arti - Your two favourites are also on my list (Middlemarch and Gone With The Wind). One of the best things about moving DS out of our room is that I can read in bed again.

A couple of random product endorsements?.Can?t remember who recommended Playtex bottles with the disposable liners (Veggie?) but thank you! DS has managed to take 160 mLs the last two nights from the Playtex bottle which is way more than he has ever taken from a bottle before (most bottles = red faced screaming/flat refusal). They are hard to find here, but I am going to Canada in a few weeks so if anyone else wants me to bring back a shipment, let me know.

Also Aveeno cream. DS was starting to get really dry, red scaly eczema patches all over his body but the Aveeno cream has cleared it right up overnight.

Think V has already abandoned the thread, understandably, but what a horrible situation. The least she deserves is a place to vent anonymously. If you?re out there V, you are so far from a bad mother! Not sure how you manage to keep a sense of humour (comes through in lots of your posts) with everything you are dealing with, but I am in awe.

Sybil - The only way I manage to get enough from expressing is to pump 1-2 hours after DH has given a bedtime bottle, while DS is having his long sleep. So I pump every night at 9 or 10 pm. Most days this just goes to the next day?s bottle, but sometimes I put this in the freezer and just feed him the next day at bedtime directly. I build up a small freezer stock this way. Also, I use the nipple shells to collect the leaking milk from one boob while I am feeding off the other. I can get about 20-30 mLs each feed this way. So over the course of a couple of days I can get enough for a full feed. If I try to pump during the day while he is eating every 3 hours, I get absolutely nothing.

I like the sounds of the Facebook group! How do I join? Do I just need to send someone my email address? Kazr is it you that is organising?

I?m off out for the FIRST night with my girlfriends since DS! DH is lined up to give the night feeds with a bottle, though DS may have other ideas. Hopefully he?ll take the bottles else he?ll be stuck with red wine-tinted breastmilk!