December 2008 Coven - white light and basket cases

[EffiePerine]

Seeing as LadyT broke the thread...

Oh and someone was asking about the squish your tummy in under garments. Spanx are awesome so comfy and seemless so invisible under you clothes. Would recommend one that goes as high up ad possible.

wg we're facing the same dilemma at the mo - after a reasonable night on Thurs, last night was another dreadful one with her waking at 11.30 then again at 1.30 and wouldn't sleep at all, I stropped to the sofa on the grounds that every other night whenever she wakes up, I settle her back and dh hardly even knows it happening, and it was about dh's bally turn to let me get some sleep, of course she just cried and cried so I ended up trying to feed her to sleep anyway - she'd been awake for so long that she was reasonably hungry again.

But enough moaning - we're wondering whether I should go to bed at 8 once she's thoroughly off as otherwise like you say it's so depressing that as soon as I go to bed she's awake, just feels like no decent sleep will ever be achieved. While it's rubbish and means I'll never get to see my dh or have dinner with him again, maybe better to get a bit of sleep and be less of a b*tch to him?! We've even been pondering topping her up with a bit of formula to keep her asleep for longer, but I've got a real moral dilemma about this as I know a lot of people find that means the end of BFing.

Quick poll in fact - where do your babies sleep?

• in their own room
• in a cot in your room
• in bed with you
• some combination of the above

I'm just wondering if the people whose babies are in a different room might be having more success with getting better nights.

We had a lovely day yesterday in the sunshine, lunch with one of dd's godmothers and I managed to get the elusive haircut at last We'd really hoped all the fresh air would make her sleep... she's currently napping in the sling and has been since 10.15, which is great except that I really need the loo and tied her up a bit too high so can't drop my chin without it landing in her fontanel !!

kayz glad you had a lovely day, horses notwithstanding. "drink!"

spot great news about the poo! hopefully t's botty will be back on track asap.

jb black is fine if you have colourful accessories, less so if you're wearing a black hat with mourning veil Seriously you'll look v stylish.

veggie hope you're having a good day at the snowdome!!

sybil happy anniversary 7 years, go you and mrsybil! and fab news about the schools, what a relief.

tilly that's such a positive way to look at things, you're a great advert for motherhood (unlike me and my sofa strops Hope you managed to get either some sleep or some good dvd watching in...

good luck Mrtilly for the marathon! rather you than me if only I didn't have a baby to look after I'd be right there with you

Happy anniversary Sybil! Congratulations, hope you have a lovely day and dinner tonight. And happy Anzac day to all those whose water goes down the plug the wrong way. .
JJ, we've had T in his own room since he was 6 weeks old as I wasn't able to sleep for his grunts and he woke up to our creaky bed (just from turning over, not any sugar action, chance would be a fine thing) - as soon as he was banished lovingly placed in his own cot the nights were much better, although as his room is on the floor above it made going up for feedings much more of a pain. It also made DP and I feel like we had more time together even if it was just both being comatose next to each other as we had a room that was just for ourselves.
Went out last night and slightly overindulged in the cheerfulness and got home later than planned so am suffering a bit today. I have to admit I am looking forward to T spending a night with his Granny so DP and I can go out and get trolleyed merry without worrying about night feeds and early starts. Do you think 4 months is too young to leave them with someone else for 24 hours? I was thinking it might be better to wait a couple of months, but actually maybe now would be a good time before the whole separation anxiety hits?

So we kept an eagle eye on her starting to get sleepy to avoid nap meltdown. At about 1.30 since waking, did the thousand mile stare and stopped interacting - quick! To cot with her! But no, would much rather shriek and be upset. Took her to 'her' room for nappy change, absolutely fine. Into our room, yelling and unhappy. It must be something to do with magnetic north or the colour of the walls in our room - put her down in the big girl's cot in her room (which is a 90deg to the crib in with us) and she's gone off to sleep???

Now we really have to face the dilemma of do we put her in her own room!!

superspot - if T and granny get on well, then definitely worth a try. Separation anxiety isn't until about 7 or 8 months I think, so if he can get used to being with other people now it would certainly be easier then.

JJ and WG with you on the crap nights. I've tried dreamfeeding, which seems to make no difference. Wakes at 2 and 4 then then 6 (half 5 this morning) for the day. This is much worse than when he was born, when he was feeding at 11, 3 then 7am (and sleeping til 9), and it got worse when he was about 3 months. . DS1 did this so I weaned him at 4 mo, as I just felt exhausted at this point. Perhaps its just another growth spurt ?

DS2 sleeps in a moses basket next to our bed, but hes outgrown it really, so may need to move him to the cotbed in his own room. I'll miss the snorty little man though.

BTW, If your LO have bunged up noses you could try Nasosal I think its called from boots - just sterile saline solution and I get some great bogeys from DS2 as a result Really seems to help.

Hello to everyone else, I can't keep up. Jealous of people getting away this weekend, hop you are all having a good time.

BTW, does sore boob,(not nipple) mean mastitis ? Anyone had it ?

jj DS has been in his own room since he was about 8 weeks old. He's such a snuffly boy I couldn't cope sharing a room with him. He snores worse than his Dad

spot If T will settle with his Gran then go for it. We have thought about leaving DS with my mum, buf as he is still bf, still won't take a bottle and still has no pattern to night wakings we are screwed.

DS has got himself in a right state this afternoon. Since learning to roll on his tummy he has yet to learn how to roll back. So he gets incredibly frustrated as he lies 'beached' on his front! He now has a cry for "Help me mum I'm stuck on my tummy and I can't get back" Problem is he seems to love rolling so he is always having a cry -oh well.

Oh Daisy poor little DS I guess it's that frustration that leads to eventually mastering the next step in the rolling process but how can we possibly leave them when it's such an impassioned sad frustrated cry!

Had a great day, ds1 loved the snowdome and next time we are going back to have a board and also with cossies as there is a pool there that has a brilliant inflatables session. Best of all there is a beauty spa thing with a lady who does threading!!!!! Hooray I haven't been able to find a replacement for my wonderful canary wharf threading lady. Yay.

Feeling a little sombre as this is the first ANZAC day since my cousin was taken in Afganistan, keep thinking of it Aunt & Uncle and how they must be feeling today it's still al so recent.

Also Arti I've joined the multi mastitis club I am up to episaode number 3 today. Unfortunately we were out so couldn't start the phytolacca and belladonna as soon as the pain started so still a bit sore now and incredibly painful when he feeds but I am still always offering that side first and feeding as often as possible. I think i've worked out what the problem is for us. The first time it happened he was sick and snuffly so was fussing on the boob and having really short feeds esp on the effected side maybe because of wind or a sore ear who knows. Then the next time he was going through that distractible stage and was having annoying shorts spurts on the boob. Now today I think that ear thing is bothering so when he lays to the side to feed it hurts so he doesn't feed long on the left boob (it's his right ear that effected). So basically I think short stop starting feeds are causing the mastitis as he isn't properly emptying the boob. I have some ABs if I need them but I'm hoping the remedies to the trick again. Although at least this time if I do take them the little bit he is getting through the boob would help his sore ear. Thsnkfully the cream the GP gave seems to be helping so hopefully tomorrow he will be more inclined to drink from that side.

Hope the weather is good for Lady. Was a bit wet while we were in the snowdome then fined up when we got home, so managed to do a teeny bit of gardening but sore boob made it a short session. Does anyone know a flowering plant that like full shade. I want to grow some flowers for the bees but the only bit of garden I have left is right next to the garden border wall and gets no sun all day. If there isn't a flower is there a vegetable?

NJAN there is no such thing as a bad mother on here, just lots of L plates if the 4 month weaning worked then great. I like hearing other people doing well with weaning as we had such a nightmare with it. I don't like the idea of other people having the same stress although I'm sure there are many out there. The same goes for TT. May you all go from nappy to potty with no fuss.

JJ I think you mentioned once before that DD slept ok when you left your bedroom for some peaceful sleep on the couch. It may just be that she would sleep better in another room. It could also be that you have given birth to Pagan Goddess who needs to be settled at a certain alinement with Jupiter or something not sure if pagan's worship jupiter but you know... Anyway it wouldn't hurt to try it out for a night or 2 you can always go back to how it is. If there I one thing I've learned from the first time around it's that you can try things out (weaning, sleeping arrangments, TT) and if it the wrong time you can always go back.

WG I forgot to comment on Tuppence Rosebud's sleeping position. DS2 used to arch back a lot while awake and the cranio picked up a funny back muscle thing and sorted it out. However he never did it while he was asleep. I think anything they do while asleep or just before if it doesn't stop them sleeping or unsettle their sleep it's fine. It may just be a big stretch that happen literally as she was dropping off.

Anyone who has the Amby nest, do your LO's seem as though they are getting too big for it? DS2 is about an inch or 2 from the end lengthways and his shoulders are actually wider than the mattress, is this ok? I thought they were supposed to last til their a year old. He comes in with us after a feed during the night (don't know which because I don't seem to fully wake up for them), so I guess it's not too much of a problem, but just seems like he should have more room, he's 7.3kg which I think is 75th centile (and falling) so not like he's off the scales or anything???? Very excited that next month the BF charts come out.

JJ P sleeps in her big girl's cot in her own room in a gro-bag. She wakes 2 or 3 times per night to feed and settles well in between (usually...if there is such a thing!)

Sorry just having a giggle at your P's gro-bag. I was recommended to use a grow-bag for tomatoes a couple of weeks ago and hadn't made connection between the baby sleep gro-bag and that grow-bag until tonight. Now I have visions of babies everywhere being zipped into bags of soil.

Quick one from me...

JJ - DS has been in his own room in his Amby hammock since around 3 months. Not sure it has changed his sleep that much, but I think it has changed my sleep between feeds (much deeper) and also is nice to be able to read in bed, cuddle with DH, etc. I justified moving him to his own room by the fact that in Canada they don't even have the "6 months in your room" recommendation. None of my friends there had ever heard of this.

Our nights are just so unpredictable, I don't even know where to begin. Many nights he wakes at 12:00 ish, which is usually just after I have fallen asleep. Terrible....I always have such a hard time falling asleep after this feed. Then he usually wakes somewhere between 4-5:30 though it can be as early as 2:30 (can be very hard to settle after this) then up at 6:30-7:00 for the day. Basically between 7-7, a VERY good day would be one feed (rare, but exciting when it happens), usually two, sometimes three. I feed him every time he wakes up - have no brainpower to contemplate doing anything different.

But then last week he did 4 nights in a row where he went down at 7:00, woke at 4:00, quick feed and straight back down to 7:00. Bliss! Not sure why that ended.

I keep planning to go to bed at 8:00 to get a good stretch of sleep before he wakes, but then I just faff around and all of a sudden it is 23:00 again.

Veggie - I know what you mean about the Amby. My DS is quite big (not huge, but 8 kg now and somewhere around the 85th %) and he does look quite cozy in there now. His shoulders definitely are wider than the mattress. He still has a few inches in the length though. He still seems quite happy in it so I am loath to start the Amby weaning process. I have wondered about trying to get him out of it before we go to the US/Canada in 2 weeks so that he could just sleep in a regular travel cot while away, but I am scared! The Amby has been such a saviour so far. Though like you said earlier...no harm in trying and we can always go back to the Amby if it doesn't work. May get the courage up this week to set up the regular flat non-bouncing cot and try him in it!

Weather ended up being not bad in South London. We enjoyed it by spending 2 hours in the car going from Dulwich to Richmond (grrrr). But had a nice picnic once we got to Richmond at least!

was just wondering whether teething can cause sticky eyes? I know teething can be blamed for most ailments...Phoebe has had green gunk oozing from her eyes for a few days. It started in her right and that is worse but is a bit in her left as well. She seems ok in herself although has been a bit less smiley and has cried a bit more than usual. Not sure if that can be teeth related (I think they're on their way!) or a separate infection. Any ideas?
I just went up to check on her and her face is so squished against the mattress it's very funny . Her mouth is all wonky!
When I went to get her from her sleep earlier she was on her back I put her on her front so she must have rolled over! She's done that twice now but I've never seen it happen!
must go to bed now. night night one and all xxx

JJ Judah has been in his own cot since about 6-8 weeks. He currently goes down for bed at 9pm and sleeps until 6am.

Quick one for jj's poll. DS sleeping in our room in cot next to my bedside. If I fall asleep feeding him though - he stays in bed with us til I wake up or until next feed (otherise I put him back in cot). Going to put him in own room in next two weeks. He is only waking once a night which I think is due to increased daytime naps (was 2-3 hourly before this).
Wishing good nights to you all. x

Morning,

I had a lovely day yesterday. I didn't buy anything though for the first time. I decided that as I am losing weight there is no point. I got DH a really nice coat and DS2 a top with bats on it.

Mum took the boys to a farm yesterday. DS1 was feeding and cuddling goats. He wasn't bothered by the horses and stroked one, so it looks like all is well with horses.

DS2 has slpet through 3 nights in a row now!!!

Hope you are all having a very good weekend.

Pics

Cool corset I was going to wear a red corset for my wedding dress until I settled on the dress that I wore.

Just watching the LM watching the men go around canary wharf, making me a bit nostalgic for our London home. We used to live watching the Marathon our jouse is near south Quay so all the neighbours used to watch it from the end of our street and pop back indoors when the elites had been past to see if we got on the tele. Looking good for the British girl to take 2nd!

JJ just a quick sleep info from us. Total nightmare here. Goes down at 7ish DF @ 10.30 with normally 1 or 2 wakings before DF (give the dummy) then if we are really really lucky a feed at 3 then up at 6.30. Unfortunatly at the mo he wakes up to 5 times between midnight and 6 or like Fri night awake at 1 and not back to sleep until 5.30 he wasnt even hungry kept lobbing the boob in there and he just screwed his face up. Oh and he is in a grobag and been ih his own room since 3mth.

JJ DS sleeps in pram top in our room. Used to sleep 7pm - 3.30/4am and then wake up for the day at 7am. Now sometimes wakes for a feed at 10 pm when we go to bed then wakes some time between 2 and 4 am and if I'm unlucky again at 6am then up at 7 am. I think he wakes up more now due to a combination of teething and being more hungry. We will be putting him in a cot in our room this week, once the new mattress has arrived. DD didn't sleep in her own room till she was 2 because DH is hopeless with DIY deadlines [grumble, grumble].

Kimberley Many thanks for the generous offer of the playtex bottle. I'll have a look around at the chemists round here and let you know.

Am so tired....DS up virtually on the hour, and wants feeding everytime. I just don't know what is happening with him. His gums are VERY red and lumpy. So he has a few more nights of me blaming the teeth before I try and give him a bit of formula to see if that fills him up anymore. Although he won't have a bottle so not sure how I'm suppossed to get it down him May have to rethink my plan

Plus had to take DD to a party at 10.30, so I was exhausted in one of those play place with hoards of excitable 3 yr olds. Not exactly a lazy Sunday morning.

Remind me to always go to mil's prepared to stay the night.... Specifically asked D H if and what time we would be back from the bbq, and he said def in time for last feed, I confirmed that I should leave the ebm in the fridge - yes was the answer. Not a total disaster I spose, but quite annoying when I don't have toothbrush, change of clothes or any basic girl necessities Of course I could have said No we can't stay, but hard to say that when he asks me in front of them! Wanted to stay - just rather have stuff!!! He had to do quick trip out to get F but good thing was we could both be cheerful without fighting over who wasn't going to drive!
Tilly, we are off to Aus for 2 weeks JJ ds sleeps in cot in an adjoining room since about 6 weeks? He now sleeps swaddled in muslin in between positioner pillows so he can't roll. The room is kind of a walkway between bedroom and ensuite like a very large hallway and although there's no door, I just open up the wardrobe door in our bedroom as it kind of acts like a door (if you see what I mean)so he isn't bothered by the light from our tv
before that he was starting off in there but always ended up in our bed after first time he woke for a feed as I was shattered
He goes to bed at 7pm and we wake him at 1030 for feed, then usually 11p-5 or 6am. He mutters to himslef and grunts and snores sometimes so I'd be too on edge if he was right in our room and I'd probably not sleep very much!

Hey

JJ DD sleeps in a gro-bag in a full size cot at the end of our bed. And she goes down at 6:30-7, we dream feed her at 11ish and then she sleeps until 6:30-7. She's done this for a few months now. And before that we co-slept. We'll put her in her own room (or rather we're moving DS and DD into the study together and making DS's current room the study) at the end of the summer. She's a very quiet sleeper and I sleep better with her in the room.

DS though, slept more like your little one, and I've done nothing different. I can really remember feeling like there must be something I was doing wrong or a there was a trick to getting them to sleep through. And honestly - IME there really isn't - is luck of the draw. Having said that I do think you can do things that stop them settling themselves (like picking them up if they're only nattering). With DS I felt a lot better once I accepted that that was the way it was going to be and was grateful for the better nights. Although I can quite see in a sleep-deprived state that you'd want to punch someone in the face for suggesting that . I've a vague memory of finding the baby whisperer advice quite good - if you haven't got it I'll dig it out and send it to you. The patting and shhhing seemed to work sometimes. And it does get better eventually - with DS once he started crawling about.

Not entirely convinced that FF will make any difference - Veggie will know more - but am sure breast milk is actually more filling. I know BF babies who slept through at 12 weeks and FF who didn't for the first year.

Am loving the sunshine....we took DS for his first seaside trip on Friday (neglectful parents that he's not been before) he absolutely loved it. Was such a blissful day - paddling in sea/making sandcastles/eating fish and chips.

South London girls - I think I've tracked down MOM on FB so as soon as I have her email address (MOM if you're reading this check your FB ) we can fix a date. PMK do you want to try for before you go?

Just posting quickly, will be back later to catch up. Dh did very well, finished in 5hrs 7mins & we did manage to see him around the 24 mile mark so there was a big cheering section for him, he reckons it helped him finish . Ds1 had fun too telling us all the costumes he could see!

Anyway, have to go & get the boys ready for bed!

JJ - for your poll. dd sleeps in a (rather too small now) moses basket next to our bed in our room. she was (until 3 weeks ago) going down at 7.30/8ish, waking at 3/4ish for a feed and waking at 7.30. for hte past 3 weeks she has been going down at 8ish, waking at 12ish, then again at 4/5ish, then 6.30/7ish. so a bit of a difference. no idea why - getting bigger? teething? lots of energy??? each time i feed her (only pick her up if she is beginning to cry, not if she is grunting/grizzling) and she goes down pretty easily afterwards.

we are thinking of bringing the cot into our room (cue dh and pil dismantling furniture to get it through the door next weekend) in order to get her used to the cot. when she is 6 months we will put her next door in her own room (sob). once she is settling in her cot we will think about weaning off the swaddle, although i have bought her a swaddle pod off hte internet, with a view to getting her in a grobag (not the tomato variety).

back from a night in bristol with friends. long story, but she is currently getting divorced from her husband (also our friend) - they had incredible problems conceiving and two miscarriages, which probably contributed to the marriage breaking down, although they were chalk and cheese in the first place. she is now with the new love of her life, who left his wife for her - he has 2 kids and she is doing a great job of being a stepmum to them, and crazily is now 14 weeks pregnant, the first month after stopping the pill. luckily everyone involved in the whole mess is now with a new partner who seems to be better suited than the first one, but life is complicated, isn't it?

Goodevening ladies. What a glorious day. After watching the wheelchair and then elite men & women (Hooray for Mara Yamaguchi for coming 2nd and hooray for Kurt Fearnley the Aussie wheelchair marathon winner) we cycled out to Elvaston castle along the river and played football with DS1 and had coffees and ice cream, I resisted ice cream and had one of their amazing raspberry scones, sans jam & cream. Might make some during the week as sooooooo yummy. I really enjoyed the ride and made myself take the chariot the whole way so I had to work harder. At times when both the boys where in it I was pulling over 30kg so it must have burnt off at least the scone.

JJ I do feel for you DS1 was the same and I'm waiting for ds2 to start up. In the end the only thing that got us more sleep was co-sleeping and we kind of do that now with ds2 he starts in his bed but comes into ours after his first (post late night feed). I never tried formula top ups but as Lal says it wont actually fill her up more, Formula has less calories than BM so won't actually make her last longer between feeds and it will mess up your supply. As Lal say have a look at some books as they might have advice that helps. The baby whisperer is good as well as the no cry sleep solution, if anything they will help you see you as doing ok, but also give some advice.

Other than that sorry to push the remedies again but I find a strong chamomilla and pullsitilla sometimes helps settle DS2 (though he isfighting it right now) or try soothng music or calming oils in the bath or in a burner/vaporizer. Finally do what you feel comfortable and what gets you through. I've told you the facts about formula top ups but if your at your wits end and want to give it a go it's up to you. This will all pass eventually. One day you will go to bed with your DH with no child in your room and sleep the whole night uninterrupted...and then you'll have another one and the whole thing will start again

Oh WG that is all very complicated but if everyone is happy now then alls well, and all that. Hooray for the pregnancy fingers crossed. Did she just tell you this weekend?

Also meant to add hooray and congrats to Mr fernackerpants. Makes me want to have one last stab at sub 4 hrs, I trained for it last time but missed the mark by 22 mins. So does this mean some breaks and a trip to the spa for you now Tilly? It only takes a day or 2 to recover so don't have him telling you he needs his feet up for a week!