Fab Feb 2009: too sleep deprived to think of a new thread title

[dinkystinky]

'nuff said

Ah. I see. Ok. So they won't appreciate me asking on site stuff where it's gone then?

STW I started a thread about coils a while ago - can't find it now but the general consensus is that it can hurt like hell for some but that might depend on your pain threshhold - for others it's no worse than a smear. My worry is that because I haven't had any natural births that it really will hurt like hell....still trying to decide what to do.

Had a pregnant friend and her toddler round all day so have spent all day negotiating between DS and his little girl friend. She can be quite a madam (he's no angel) so between the two of them it can be fireworks at times. The day went by quite quickly though and it was nice for him to have a playmate. DD wasn't much trouble....poor thing doesn't get a look in most of the time.

Must dash - will respond more tomorrow but good news re Danny Dinky.

Probably not...

Am sat here wrapping presents for DS1's birthday on Saturday - on previous recommendations from you lovely ladies we've gone for some Brio train stuff plus a charlie & lola fuzzy felt set (got to feed his C&L addiction somehow) and Danny has got him a little Peppa Pig toyset. He will be in kiddie heaven come Saturday. We're off out tomorrow night for a wine tasting evening at a local deli as we try to do something nice every 24th April to try to forget the horrid time we had being induced with DS1 on that day - our first night out post Danny. Am v excited!

dinky those pressies sound lovely. Hope you all have a fab day, and of course a great night tomoz.

Dp has just told me he read in the paper today, that you can't give your children bonjela anymore because of something to do with brain damage........I think I'm going to have to do a search for this, we use/d dentinox teething gel as I found it worked better than bonjela, but must still have the same sort of ingredients.
I won't dare say this anywhere else on this forum, but wtf is going on with children and what they can and can't have? How many years have parents used bonjela? Cough syrups? Bottles with whatever chemical in it? Am I really the only person who thinks the world is going slowly crazy?

It's ok, panic over. I just read a link on the bonjela thread, and teething gel is safe it's the bonjela cool and bonjela that's for ulcers and dentures that's not. Although it says there is a chance of child developing reyes syndrome, the three children admitted to hospital after use of oral pain relief, reyes was not diagnosed in any child.
The ingredient believed to be the issue is not stated on the ingredients of the dentinox

bugger, spoke too soon about DD sleeping through!
She came into my room at 1.30am, woke H and I up then after a little bit of wriggling kicking went back to sleep in the middle of my bed lying like a bloody starfish. H and I then tried to get back to sleep all squashed up on the edge of the bed but he wouldn't settle. Tried b/f for the past 3 1/2 hours and have just given up and come down just after 5am to try a bottle which he appears to not want to take from me. For some reason he won't take a bottle from me but will take one from DH and DS1. Have just plonked him back on the boob and he is now happily chomping away whilst I type. Why wouldn't he do that upstairs? Sods law, its DH's night to sleep in the spare room. Why is it they sleep through for him?
So very tired now and have to be up in a few hours as we are going to the Thai Embassy for thai new year. Its normally a really good fun day not at all stuffy like some of the 'dos' at the British Embassy

Hope the rest of you got a good nights sleep

MoS I'd imagine H won't take a bottle off you because he can smell your milk. Why take a bottle of formula when he knows the good stuff is right there? He'll take a bottle off everyone else because he can't smell your milk from them iyswim.
FWIW, my 2 are perfect for their dad, they turn into completely different people and it makes me wnt to take dp's head off!!

Luke, again only woke once last night at 1am. This 3 hourly/demand feeding seems to be going alot better than the routine feeding. Wish I'ddone this from the start now.

Glad you had a better night lbb - sorry you didn't MOS - hope you can get a kip before you head off to the embassy. Sounds like a lovely day...

Just jumping on for a quick question to the ff'ers. John made up M's bottle at 11 last night and forgot to shake the bottle (how? don't ask!) and so she had a very watery 3oz. He only noticed because when he checked to see how much she'd had at her burp break, it looked like horlicks! Is it a big problem, do you think? Should I take her to GP, or should I just keep an extra eye on her?

PSL - extra fluid in a feed (which is effectively what M got) may give her a runny nappy but that's all. She may be hungry earlier as well.

When babies are constipated, FFs are told to put in less powder to water than normal, giving them a more diluted milk - works a treat on DS.

She'll be fine - if you get a couple of runny nappies, thats why.

HV will advise as well if you are still concerned.

Morning all! I know I'm being lulled into a false sense of security, but with all this sunshine, I'm just thinking hurrah, summer's here. I know it'll all turn to rain soon enough ....

PSL - as LMN says, I don't think it's anything to worry about - much better than putting too much formula in!! Hope you are all doing well?

LBB - sounds like a great night to me!! Glad the demand feeding seems to be working for Luke. We are stil up a couple of times and Sam drains 6oz during the night, so I don't think he's getting enough during the day to be so hungry at night. Gonna try tanking him up loads this evening!

Herb thanks for coil info. I'll do a search on the threads and see what I can pick up.

MOS - enjoy Thai New Year! A few years ago, when my Dad was living in Bangkok (that's where he retired to after KSA!) DH and I were there for New Year. It was great fun with everyone getting drenched with water from elephants in a parade. a bit surreal because later the elephants were playing football !

Quick question - Sam as a flat head on one side and it's getting more pronounced. I have been advised to reposition to the other side, but no matter how often I do it, the next time I look at him he's turned back onto the flat side - gravity has a lot to do with it! I've ordered a memory foam pillow thing for babies, but will this correct what's already been done? His left eye doesn't seem to close properly and I'm worried he's going out of line...

There's always something to worry about isn't there? LBB I agree that sometimes the world's gone a bit mad with safety etc. Glad Bonjela's ok for kids tho - I used to love eating it as a child apparently. My middle sister was a toothpaste scoffer, and my little sis had a thing for dog biscuits. What a strange family I'm from!

Anyway, got to wash bottles now that Sam's gone down for a nap. I love nursery days!

I do demand feeding during the day as well, cos with DD I haven't had a chance to think about a routine for DS....but it has just happened naturally I think, and we are all the better for it.

I keep DS downstairs with me in the evening, he now has a feed about 7pm, I top him up at 10.30ish and he goes through till 5ish most nights, then a feed and he lays awake in his cot while I get another hour or so, then I wash and dress and feed him, and he's asleep till lunchtime. Works quite well with our routine. He takes 7oz bottles now.

I'm very with our GP practice who told me they would contact me re DSs jabs as they had a new nurse.....he's 12 weeks old Monday, and hasn't had any jabs yet. I think I'm going to complain to PCT.

STW - can you put a rolled up towel behind Sam's back to keep him on his side?

MOS - Thai new year sounds fab! Sorry about your DD being a PITA with sleeping....my DD is still at it atm as well....she's worse than the baby! He's easy compared to her!

I'm also having a minera coil fitted as soon as I can pluck up the courage to make an appointment!

PT and anyone else who wanted it, a very kind MNer sent me a copy of Pooland so if you want it, email swampster at rocketmail dot com and I'll send it on to you.

Have emailed you Swampster!

LMN - that's really rubbish of your GP practice re the jabs; you're right to complain.

STW - is he turning to look at something in particular? If so if you position him the other way round in the cot maybe he'll turn the other way? FWIW quite a few of my friends' babies have had flat heads at the back or to one side and they have resolved in time. Only one had to have a helmet done to help fix it.

MoS - DS1 would not take a bottle from me either as he knew I had the good stuff (and Danny wont take a bottle from any one). Once we finally got DS1 onto bottles with me bfing morning and night only, I had to wear a huge recently worn fleece of DH's to hide the milk smell when I gave DS1 his bottles for the first week or so until he got the idea that its bottles only during the day. Maybe worth trying that if you want to give H a bottle in the early hours again?

Lovely sunny day here in London too - am off to do Pushy Mothers this lunchtime and am keeping my fingers crossed Danny vocalises less this time (though my hopes arent high). DH has the day off (he's currently baking a birthday cake for DS1 who is off at playgroup) so is coming over to go for a run on Hampstead Heath too so we can feel very virtuous this evening when we go out.

P.s. MoS - have a lovely time at the Thai Embassy. Hmm Thai food.. yummy!

Wow this thread has taken a lot of catch up reading. Can't possibly remember everything but LBB, sorry to hear you've been feeling so down. I was horribly miserable after ds1 though I think my depression came from being made to feel like a totally crap mum in my Danny's first few weeks. FWIW, I think acknowledging you're depressed (PND or otherwise) and how you deal with it are separate things. I was quite worried about anti-depressants for various reasons and said I didn't want to have any.

I quite like the sound of Pushy Mothers - maybe I should look into the ones near me (think they do one in Crouch End) or even venture across on the overground train.

Am thinking of going into Kings Cross today to drop by the office and do a couple of other things but had a bit of a stupid fight with dp this morning, we sort of made up but I still feel really sad. Not quite sure what's up with me.

wil read through later, late for toddler group so jsut marking my place.

came down with a vicious tummy bug on wed night and was in a bad way all day yesterday, just starting to be able to eat again now.

would have thought it was food poisoning but i didn't eat anything the kids didn't and aaron caught a mild dose of it from me... thankfuly i didn't infect the whole house though

swampy... extreme feeding has to be me feeding ds1 while rnning around soft play after dd and him unlatching for a look around right in front of the only dad in the building

PSL they can get a bit unwell if the mix of powder and water is wrong, yes, but I wouldn't worry over 1 bottle. It's perfectly safe if there is too little powder for the water, this is how I got ds1 off of nught feeds, watered the formula down until it wasn't worth waking for. Hv said this would be fine to do.
STW The whole of the back of Jacob's head was dead flat, still is but seems to be gradually evening back out. His too started off at the side and I was also advised to reposition. I used rolled uo muslins in the day, but you obviously don't want to do that at night. If Sam cannot close his eye because the bones in his head have shifted there, I would speak to your hv again. There are helmets that affected babies wear for 23 hours a day to keep the pressure even. Not all NHS hospitals do them and privately they cost around £2k. Jacob didn't have any serious cosmetic or other issue with his so after speaking to paed doc, we left it. I've been told it will fully even out by the time he is 5.

I had to leave our activity group early today. I feel like a big massive failure. Luke was screaming when we arrived so the key worker took him for a bit while I sorted out ds1, then I fed Luke and had to carry him outside so I could keep an eye on ds1 playing. Luke fell asleep so went back in pushchair inside. It then came to somg time where we all have to sit in a circle dcs included and sing with actions and listen to stories etc. my ds was the only child not doing it so I had to keep running after him so he's screaming. Weall go back inside for sit-down fruit time and again ds1 won't sit down and won't eat any apple (he dies at home), all other kids are sitting around the table, then Luke starts cryibg again, so I'm trying to settle him, then ds1 wants to sit on my lap so he starts crying, then I start crying, then everyone's looking at me so I got the boys in the pram and just walked out in floods of tears.
There was a woman there whose 3rd child was due yesterday. She has a boy of 3, a girl of 14 months and is about to have another and looks like she hasn't got a care in the world. there is another mum there who has a 17 month old and a 4 month old and she seems to be doing great, she says she's at the park with them, she does lots of arts and crafts with the older one, she takes them swimming (which I think is a load of BS, how can you take a 17mo nd a 4mo swimming, on your own?....), and I just feel like I'm failing my ds's. Like I said, I haven't taken those anti-depressants because wasn't sure I needed to. Now I'm not so sure. I don't want my children to have a mother that's on medication for depression. I know it's awfully common, I know all about 1 in 10 or whatever the current figures are, but everyone else around me seem to be doing so much better, has better behaved toddlers (don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change ds1 for the world. He is the love of my life and I adore him), and I can't even get my ds to sit in a fucking chair.
What if I start taking anti-depressants and never come off them?

does at home, he does at home, not dies. Oh dear.

Just wanted to say as well. I know I am a good mother. Like all of you, I can honestly say, hand on heart, that no parent loves theirchildren as much as I love mine (we all that don't we), and they love me, I know they do. Me and ds1 have lots of laughs, and even Luke has an endless supply of wide open mouthed smiles for me when he isn't screaming, but I don't think I'm a great mother. I think ds1 has mcdonalds too often, he eats far too much proccessed crap and not enough home cooked, my house could be cleaner and tidier, I could try to find more time for activities and arts and crafts and reading and walks and park trip and god knows what else. I could not lose my rag and cry everytime they cry, I could stop smoking, I could not be a stroppy cow. I think all of these things are the things that stop me being a great mum and all the first things are the things that make me a good mum.

They've both been asleep now for an hour and a half. I've been sitting here expecting Luke to wake up.

I'm talking to myself.
Loon.

LBB, I used to forcibly drag myself and DS1 to playgroups just knowing that wherever he was it was going to kick off because he was that sort of toddler.

When it came to song-time he would get an expression of panic on his face and run for the hills. As soon as he could talk he'd say, "need to get out!" and leg it outside to play on the ride-ons.

At first I thought it was a clever ploy to have the cool toys to himself but I think he just really hated song-time.

DS2 is the same.

Talking it through with DH, I can remember feeling really embarrassed in similar situations and so can he. Our kids never stood a chance. I just let them play outside - that's what we came to playgroup for anyway, not some soppy song-time.

I have also NEVER managed to get either of them to sit down with the good kids for fruit and toast even though I offer every time. DS2 will now deign to have a nibble while standing near the table.

I get my fair share of disapproving looks but I refuse to let it get me down. It really isn't worth stressing over and now DS1 is five, I can confirm, it was a phase and it has passed.

I wouldn't dream of trying to take all three swimming on my own.

LBB sorry you've had a rough morning with the boys....re the anti-d's - the thing with them is that they might give you the lift that you need. They aren't like "drugs" which might give you a big high and a big down, they facilitate a gradual process of lifting your mood. You almost then get "used" to feeling more emotionally on the up. The problem with depression is that you get on a vicious cycle and you don't have the energy emotional or otherwise to get yourself out of it and sometimes the drugs are what you need to almost re-start your emotional system. You would never come off them just like that, you would take a lower dose and then take them less regularly until gradually you are "weaned" off them. That said, taking anti-d's on a long term basis is a bit of a sticking plaster. My GP friend has always maintained that talking therapy (of whatever sort you choose) and taking anti-d's together is the best route to recovery......What is the stigma to taking them - You are not a failure. If you had a fever you'd take paracetemol and if you had tonsilitis you'd take anti-b's....it is no different. Surely it's preferable to feel better in yourself? You won't be on them for ever if that is what you're afraid of.

Hello everyone else. Hope you're having good days/morning. We've been out for coffee this morning and then for a little trip to the park where DS seems keen all of a sudden on the climbing things. I'm quite short so not of much help when he gets stuck near the top but he seemed to love it and he found twin boys the same age to make trouble play with . We've just had lunch and DH is due home in an hour and a half to let me go off to catch the train for my sis's hen weekend !....Hurray 48 hours away from the mad house.

swampster Thank you relief to know it's not just me then. Your post really made me smile picturing you doing that.
I've just been thinking maybe we should stop going to this play-group. I'm not saying I'm going to become a recluse and keep my ds's indoors or anything, but maybe this group is just too structured for ds1. Where I think he is old enough to mess about with paints and crayons etc, I don't really think that at 20 months, it's the right thing to do trying to force him to sit at the table and paint or colour or glue or whatever that days activities are. Maybe at this age, he should still have 100% free-play. That's not to say he shouldn't have rules and things, but maybe it's ust too much to expect him to do whatever has been planned. In 6 months maybe. Or should he be able to tske this kind of instruction and 'do as he's told'? I don't think so. Maybe developmentally he is a bit 'behind' on where he should be in communictaion, follow instruction and so on, but he is still under 2 years of age and sometimes I'm not sure if I expect too much or too little from him.
The key workers say that at his age, he is more than capable of being instructed as to what activity he is allowed to do that particular day, but what if he doesn't want to? For example, the crayons and a colouring in sheet (I print them off the cbeebies website) are on his little table if he wants to colour, and if he doesn't, then he has his toys and things around the house too, and surely letting him decide for himself what he wants to do right now is perfecly fine. Once he starts school and nursery, the whole of the rest of his life will be structured activities, what's the harm in just letting him do whatever he wants? Why can't he walk across the room while eating a biscuit (I know incase he falls and chokes, but he is my son, is 24 hours a day in my care so my responsibility)
herb I know you're right. It just seems like a slippery slope and maybe I can pull myself back up, although like you've pointed out, I do feel emotionally, physically and every other way drained atm and everything is a huge task, so maybe I do need them to get through. It would be nice to feel like I'm not in a constant battle to stay afloat iyswim. I am ust a bit frightened of what if I never come off of them? Is that silly? Probably. I'm also now wondering if there is actually something wrong with Luke. I know that's another symptom of PND, thinking there's always a serious prob, but what if there is? This crying just seems a bit much or maybe it's me that's a bit down, I don't know. Dp said I could always take Luke to the docs and i said what and tell them he won't stop crying? They'll laugh me out of surgery (or lock me up..)

That's from me who loves routines! It all just seems like too much hard work at the moment. Maybe he would be better off going to groups where he can socialise and play where and how he wants to rather than how he is told to. It'd be different if there were stations set up and you could go in and pick and choose what you wanted to do and then swap over or something, you know so one table is the painting table and one table is the puzzles and building blocks, outside is slides and pushalong toys etc, not today we are doing clay models, which normally means, mum's you are doing clay models while your children run around everywhere and you get stressed trying to get them to help you. All the pictures on the walls look like they've been done by a bunch of 30 year olds because theyhave. The group leaders go on about how such and such activity must be done, so if your dc's don't want to do it, you do it for them and put the finished item in their tray. What fun is that? acob's running around screaming and I'm trying to draw bloody cicks on his easter egg hunt bag. Wtf?

LBB, I've yet to try to take both our 2 anywhere together on my own. I look at people with 2 close together, particularly anyone with less than a 2 year age gap, and I'm not sure how it's done.

DP takes ds1 to a thing with songs and music at the library and ds never joins in. His CM has the same experience with him as well. I don't think it's that he dislikes it, he enjoys it when dp does the songs with him at home, and he knows the words and reacts. He seems to enjoy music. He's just a bit contrary. He's also still adjusting to sharing you. What's with "have to" sit down etc? - this is toddler group, not school.

Being a great mum isn't about tidiness and showing off your home cooking, or bringing up children who always sit down etc. At least, I hope it's not, because if it is I haven't a hope.