March 09 - The spring babies have sprung

[jollyjoanne]

Thought I'd start us up a post-natal thread for the new mummies of March 09 (or thereabout!)

corgi Yep Gabriel does that forgetting to nurse thing too! I think since he's awake most of the day he's so tired he can't deal. He gave me a hickey yesterday!

Poor me today, Gabriel has refused point blank to be put down for a minute the last 2 days, my back is killing me! Even using the sling is making my back ache.

Hey Y'all,

Corgi - Well at least the weight gain that Rhys is putting on is down to YOU rather than the bottle, so I can't take any credit - apart from the first month - so hats off to you. And btw with all of mine, whenever they did that head bouncing around, mouth open over the nipple/teet thing, it was because they had wind that needed brought up. That was the only time they'd do it too, so there was a definite corrilation (sp?) It's worth a shot?

Laumiere You sound like you need a night off honey! Any chance of that?

Sorry to those I haven't been able to check all the posts - so hope your all doing ok.

I'm ashamed to say I've been at my folks for the last two nights (at my husband's insistance) just to try and get some sleep and recover a bit. I've still been getting dizzy spells and I think it's a cross between exhaustion and anxiety. (Rushing around all day with three of them, thinking, 'I have to do this, I have to do that, then this, now that....etc - oh yes, dizzy spell, I need to BREATHE!!!!) But I also seem to be going through my usual post natal phase of worrying that something will happen to the kids or me or DH and just feel unsettled a bit at the moment. I've had it before after each birth and it does pass, but I think cos we just lost a friend to cancer and there has been lots of stories around of others suffering with one thing or another, I dunno, I'm just feeling a bit spooked at the moment. I am also waiting to get a mole checked out (had a pre-melanoma removed before, caught early luckily) so I think that's playing on my mind too. The appts not til 27th May so plenty time to worry about it!!!

So here I am at mum's and missing the kids like mad. You can't win. I know I'm lucky to have a DH like that and I hope you all have one too that can give you the break you all need.

It's a 6 day stretch from tomorrow so making the most of this eve!

Lily - It sounds like you have a 'mean mother sucker' on your hands...

slick DH has next 3 days off and has promised me a lie in and a night out. I feel loved

Laumiere Oh jolly good. Glad to hear it!

Of course I come here thinking, 'Right I could go and see that movie, or see this friend, or go to a gallery....'

Or I could just collapse in a crumpled heap and sleep.

Like Corgi get time to read, but no time to post.

Is reassuring to hear you all going through the same as me and I hope it improves for all of us soon.

Was worrying about not having a routine for DD (even though after DS I said there was no way I was reading Baby Whisperer and GF again as therein lies madness for a new mother me thinks - well they have useful tips, but also the potential to make the first 3 months hellish). Bought Practical Parenting mag this week and it had a free book with it - Super Nanny's guide to first 3 months. She says not to stress about the first three months - to cuddle and reassure baby and that you should have a flexible routine, but one that suits you and baby - this has reassured me no end. Am reminded that this is not called the fourth trimester for nothing.

DD still won't settle in evenings - just wants to feed and be cuddled/jiggled all evening, although last night she went off at 9pm on my lap while I was watching telly (the waking at 11pm, 1.45pm, 2.45pm, 5am and 6.30am are a different matter, but at least the squalking didn't last all evening as it has!)

Am I the only psycho who, when DD just sits there watching me, thinks "Oh, she's given up crying because I can't respond to her"?! - please reassure me that she would cry if she was in need of something! Think once she starts being more responsive will be better - she does respond when I have one-on-one time with her on my lap having a conversation - she will smile, goo and stick her tongue out, but I feel so guilty that one-on-one time is very limited with an active toddler to entertain as well! I think I'm a fruitloop, as I'm worried about scarring my children with the way I interact with them now (even though I know I don't remember anything of being a baby)... Now I know you all think I'm mad!

Corgi - sounds like you're doing great as a first time Mum (I took some adaptation with DS as my firstborn!)

Laumiere/Slick - yay for lovely DH's, hope you both enjoy your time out.

Expressing - can anyone offer any tips. DD is 8 weeks and I'd like to express, but struggle on finding when I should do it (worried about her waking and me not having any supply and later in the day, no chance, as she feeds really regularly).

Right - off out into garden to play footie with DS!

Starshine I'm having the same routine worries (i.e. we don't have one) as you, and trying to reassure myself. Spike sleeps really well at night, waking for only one feed, but doesn't sleep in the day unless I hold him (he wakes quickly if I put him down). I do let him sleep on me, otherwise he gets overtired in the evening. Am I building a terrible precedent?!

I've been lucky enough to have DP at home due to redundancy but he starts at work soon. We get nothing done with both of us attending to the LO. What on earth is it going to be like with just me!

Oh, and Corgi, whenever Spike is tired when nursing, he'll do the wailing, head shaking, why-aren't-I-getting-any-milk thing, too! It does make me laugh! I have to chase him round my pillow and shove my nipple in

Not much time to post as dh is trying to corrupt me to going for a quick half in the pub as MIL is back up as I have to go to a funeral tomorrow. But, fearless - just wanted to say try not to worry although you must be.

Found this, although am sure you have been googling too www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/development/socialandemotional/notsmilingsevenweeksq/ Also something else I read is that boys often smile later.

Understand if you do step away from MN from a while - it can make things all the more intense but we'll miss you so be sure to come back soon.

Have you discussed your worries with HV/GP ?

oh and also meant to say - DD1 wasn't smiling by her 6 week check which was probably at about 6.5 weeks although can't remember when she actually did smile properly (although probably should be able to with my PFB).

When did your other(s) - sorry can't remember how many others you have - smile ?

fearless if you are worried please go see your GP, it'll set your mind at ease. One thought, DS1 smiled VERY late (16 w) and it's because he's short sighted and couldn't see us very well! It just took longer for his eyes to adjust (DH and I both have terrible eyesight).

I also didn't smile much as a babe, mum took me to doc's and turned out I had double vision. Babies also take a while to to direct eye contact as they see contrast s more clearly so he may be looking at the edge of your head as it's clearer. Also, do you wear earrings? Excellent baby distractors!

Starshine The very fact that you are even concerned about "scarring them with the way I interact with them" is proof in itself that you are NOT scarring them with your interaction! Try not to worry too much at this stage - there's only so much cooing you can do with a baby at this stage when you have a rampaging toddler on the loose too (I know!). And anyway, the HV mentioned to me in passing that 2nd and 3rd babies are usually well stimualted because of the siblings around them. Don't you worry, I'm sure you're doing a grand job.

Fearless - Well that link that Wheely posted sounds like that could be the reason? It is awfully hard not to compare to others but the cliche of them all developing at different rates is only a cliche cos it's true I guess. Like Wheely said, maybe speak to your HV or GP if you are that concerned and hopefully they will be able to reassure you. I'm sure he'll be fine. xxx

Well. I think one of the reasons I've been feeling so off, headachy, lightheaded, sore etc is that my period is due to make a grand entrance. I think it'll be here in the next couple of days as I've had signs. Thank God that's what it is. Not that I'm looking forward to it!

Think will be on night shift all night tonight to give DH a chance to sleep after being on duty the last couple of days!

Hope you're all ok.

Lula, I feel silly even trying to answer your question as we?ve got next to no routine in place, and ?bedtime? seems to be a concept that applies only to us, rather than to Rhys (i.e., for him one two-hour nap seems much like another, whether it starts at 11am or 11pm!).

But what worked tonight was: bath followed by a bit of kangaroo cuddling, then dressing and a nice feed. He dropped off to sleep by the end of the feed, so swaddled him, trying not to wake him up too much. A few minutes of bouncing on the medicine ball to get him to fall back asleep and then in his crib at 10.30pm. All followed by 30 minutes of breath-holding to see if he?d wake back up ? but he didn?t until 1am. 2.5 hours is a hugely long stretch for him, so I?m pleased.

As mentioned above, starshine and yarnie, we?ve got no routine (and starshine, your bub?s waking schedule from last night sounds all too familiar). I?ve been hoping that at some point Rhys? own rhythms will coalesce to the point that we can build a routine around them (and hoping as well that that?s not doing things completely backwards), but to now, every day has been different. Sigh.

Much sympathy for you, laumiere, dealing with a fussy Mr G. Hope he calms down a bit soon.

Slick, you got it in one re: the nursing amnesia and winding. Rhys has brought up some lovely burps! Your DH sounds lovely, and I?m glad you?ve gotten some time to rest and recuperate.

Re: expressing. Just did it for the first time right this minute. Rhys just had a feed on the left breast and when I put him down I pumped from the right breast. I?ve got an ISIS manual pump, and it took me 15 minutes to get 125 ml/4 oz. Starshine, I?ll let you know if I?ve got nothing left for the next feed! (shudder ? that does NOT bear thinking about, really?)

Question: is pumping supposed to hurt more than actual nursing? It felt a bit as if my nips were being pulled/chewed off for the duration?It would just be too bloody ridiculous to start having nipple issues after 6 weeks of successful breastfeeding! Guess I?ll just put some lansinoh on and let ?em hang in the wind until the next feed?

Fearless, sorry to hear of your worries. FWIW, even though Rhys has been smiling, I still worry that he?s not ?interested? enough in eye contact ? he?ll make it when he feels like it, but if I try to solicit it (i.e., calling to him from the right when he?s turned to the left), he pretty much ignores me. We?ll miss you if you take a break, but will look forward to seeing you pop up again in future with all sorts of lovely Patrick stories.

Morning everyone.

Rosie woke at 5.20 and is now fed and snoozing on her bouncy chair - and I'm too awake to go back to bed - typical!

Routines - hmmm - like starshine I promised myself not to read GF or the babywhisperer this time round. My god how they stressed me out with dd1.

We have somehow managed to get Rosie to sleep at around 7.30pm each night. I try to get her awake from around 5pm (easier said than done) then I give her a bath at around 5.30pm (which curtails any wailing for food as she likes her bath!) then start milk time around 6pm. We then walk around a lot with her and she eventually gives us a contented gurgle and goes to sleep. DH then wakes her up around 11pm for a feed. She then wakes again anytime between 3am and 5am.

However I should say that we can only stick to this if I have dh to help with dd1 - if it were just me, there is no way it would work.

Daily routine - ha ha ha - absolutely none . I remember with dd1 it took until around 12 weeks to start to see a pattern in daily feeds and naps.

slick hope you're feeling rested and not so stressed. Coping with 3 must be pretty full on - I only really have 2 full days on my own with 2 and I am exhausted by the end of it - so hats off to you for doing it day after day. Be kind to yourself and let us know how thetests go (I am sure they will be fine).

starshine isn't mother's guilt a wonderful thing. With dd1 I was pretty neurotic to the point of over-stimulating my baby by constantly feeling I needed to interact with her. With Rosie she just gets put somewhere safe while I deal with toddler mayhem and gets cuddled when she cries. However This means that she is so much more chilled out than her big sister ever was.

fearless Rosie is still not a big smiler. I just get the odd curl of the mouth but not any spontaneous grins. You should talk to your GP at your next check and I am sure they will reassure you that Patrick is fine. My dd1 was also a very solemn baby who just stared and didn't smile. She is a giggly shrieking toddler now so you would never believe that she staretd out like that.

corgi I had the opposite problem with expressing - it hurt so much less than bf! Sows that Rhys has a great and comfortable latch. Put lansinoh on befre you start to express and again afterwards. The MW's and BF counsellor here said not to air dry your nips as it dries them out and makes them more prone to cracking. THis was completely different advice to when I had dd1 in 2007. But I have to say that my nips were not as cracked and bleeding with Rosie as they were with dd1 and I reckon this was one of the reasons.

wheely am very jealous - I wan to be corrupted by a quick half in the pub

laumiere hope things are getting easier.

Hi guys, its me, the greenery female wizardy one under a new name.
Please dont share you know its me.

Hey Oss, will keep schtum, but are you sure you're okay? Help always available here - just give the word.

I heard a little of what happened but not all the details.

welcome back x

Hey Stripey, I understand you had a hard time? Don't know what it was about, but glad to have you here anyway. Hope all is going well with you.

I am sooooooooooo tired today. Bloomin period started back, as I suspected, and I lay awake all bloody night (that happens when I'm due for some reason - think it's hormones) so managed about 2.5 hours sleep.

I just hope it doesn't prove to be too sore and heavy.

Fat Boab is in a routine of sorts I'd say, but the nighttime can still vary. Having said that he does seem to be going longer between feeds now and I think the blue SMA is helping so worth a shot for others out there.

Corgi re: using breastpump - it can be darn sore, esp if your nipples are still hurting. Mine used to come out of the thing looking like udders!!

Meep Thanks for thoughts, yes hopefully will be nothing, fingers crossed. Lack of sleep only serves to aid the worry I fear!

i'll tell you all when its not quite so raw and hopefully blown over.. sigh

anyway.. to normality.

I've switched DD over to the hungrier baby formula.. last week she was feeding every 2hrs and SO cranky... she's been on this three days and is MUCH happier.. such a relief, lol.. the 1.5hr sleeps between feeds were killing me!

Morning everyone!

Welcome back Stripey. Hope you are ok, and please ask for help if you need it.

I am envious of those having a little break or help with their dc.

Still living in a whirlwind here. No day seems to be the same routine (ha!) wise. I just don't have one. Well, I do, but madam doesn't. Feeding and naps are anytime she chooses, but you can bet your last choccy biccy that if I'm about to eat or make a drink, she wants feeding

I've realised from reading everyone elsess posts that I haven't a clue what she should be doing by when (with the smiling etc) and what I should be doing for her development wise through the day. I suppose at 5 weeks making faces and talking to her are enough? Just bought a playmat too which I'm hoping will entertain her.

I'm a tiny bit worried that she may have a squint as her eyes look in slightly different directions every now and again - but maybe that is normal still at the moment? Hope someone can reassure me. I will ask the hv should she ever come over again.

Feeding seems to be going ok. She put on a pound and a half in her first 26 days and I would say she's put on loads more as she seems loads heavier.

Sleeping at night is a joke. She doesn't like the moses basket too much and I end up with her sleeping on me... but I did have a good night last night as she slept for about 5 hours! Makes up for the night before when I ended up watching telly in the sitting room with her all night as she was being a demon child...

Anyone else out there breast feeding and got their periods back? I finished bleeding finally last week for a few days, and have now got what seems to be a period!! I didn't think this was supposed to happen Still, I guess it does mean I can try forthe next one

Oh, and finally... TMI alert! Is everyone back "in the saddle" so to speak? I got pounced on the other day (despite the fact I was bleeding!! ) I don't think DH could wait anymore. I was more than a bit nervous seeing as I had an episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear. It did feel a bit sore afterwards but at least my bits didn't fall apart

Sorry for the me me me post I just don't seem to have time to post as much as I'd like anymore. Can't think why!

Must go as madam has just made the most wonderfully squirty noise in the nappy department

I WILL make more effort to post!

grinningbee - Cross eyes are perfectly normal, they can still only really see in detail to "breastfeeding" distance, so trying to focus on anything else causes the wandering eyes, lmao, it'll probably keep doing it on and off until about 6mo.

Cant answer about the Bf & Periods, lol, but mine just reappeared.

Not back in the saddle yet.. waiting until this darn Epi has healed properly, its still not there yet.. i'm hoping it wont be much longer, although not necessarily so i can jump H.

OMG i have so much to catch up with .

starshine Just express whenever you get they time to LOL!! dont worry about expressing to much you will always have milk there to feed your DD with, i was once expressed almost 8oz for DD and then fed her straight after, while ever you have a baby nursing there will always be milk there for them.

corgi Is it an electric pump your using? ifso then yes i have always found that they hurt! have you tried hand expressing? its difficult to start with but one you get the hang of its easy, i find i get more milk this way.

Fearless So sorry your feeling down about things, personally i dont think you have anything to worry about. As i have mentioned here before my DD1 has ASD and FWIW she was a very very smiley baby and perfect eye contact, i know exactly what you mean about MN making you worry even more. I constantly worry that Alex may well have an ASD so i totally understand, but at the same time i also know for a fact that we are both being bloody stupid!!! .

OSS Welcome back!!

Arrraaggg just noticed the bloody time!! i shall have to shoot off to the shops my mums coming for lunch and the cupboards are bare!!