JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

Morning all

Poppy - hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Alip - How did the blw in the chalet go?

Just going to ask again in case you missed it, has anyone got the car seat - Kiddy Infinity pro or know of anyone with it? It looks very safe, just wondering about the big cushion across baby's tummy - thanks

Good thing yesterday was mother's day - I moved a drawer that Fraser was holding on to by accident today and he's got a huge dent in his head. I'm not feeling like that good a mummy

The kids at church had made us all tea light flowers - they're very cute!

Amber - I'm the same as systems - have been intimidated and impressed by the company you work for. It sounds much more important than where I work

Just heard that one of my supervisors who I love has applied for early retirement. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work now.

Hope everyone else had a great mothers day.

Hi Deb, I went to look at the Kiddy but it didn't seem to fit very well, very loose when belted in and it touched the belt buckle when in upright position. Also, you have to unclip the belt buckle every time you take the baby out and I found putting the belt round quite arduous and wouldn't have wanted to do that - twice - every time we went anywhere (with other seats once the belt holds the seat in you use a 5pt harness to secure the child so the belt stays fixed I think?). I bought the Maxi Cosi priorifix in the end. 5/5 for side impact, 4/5 front impact in Which tests and can't be fitted wrong cos its isofix. £194 each so not cheap though!

Poppy - tax accountant, wow! You see, that to me is impressive. Not quite as impressive as a GP, sorry ... I think I might be easily impressed... ? Amber, perhaps me and you can set up a plebs corner ?! I love it that we are all smart, successful, independent, clever women... but none of that matters really, all that matters are our little babies who mean the world to us. Not your typical 'Daily Mail' women/mums (thank goodness!).

I went out partying Saturday night so was knackered yesterday. Luckily the DTs slept OK last night so I got a decent sleep. But please tell me.. at 7.20am, with both babies still asleep, AIBU to be pissed off with DH for waking me up to ask if I want A BREW? What's that all about?

PILs rant coming up... we asked them if they would pick the DTs up from nursery (twice a week) at 4.30pm and give them tea at theirs till DH gets home from work at 6.30pm. Only on days when they are here, they are retired and want to go on holidays and stuff, so only when they are around. When they are not around the DTs would just stay at nursery till 6 and DH would finish work a bit earlier. But I would rather they were not in nursery until 6pm, it would be nicer if they could go and have a proper tea with their grandparents. Anyway, PILs said NO! They have decided they are not going to commit themselves to anything like that. I said 'but what about just on the days you are here'. NO!. FFS! They are not going to be away more than 50% of the time are they, more like 25% if that... so on those days when they are just mooching around at home with nothing else to do, they won't even consider giving they grandkids their tea? It's only two days a week.

AND they are looking after SIL's baby for one (whole) day a week for two months when she first goes back to work. I understand why that is different, cos it is not an ongoing commitment, but I do feel they kind of 'owe' us a bit of help if they are looking after their him for SIL. The whole thing has made me feel really crap about going back to work now. I thought it was the perfect solution to have PILs give them tea and play with them etc until DH gets home. Now he will have to try to sort out an early finish (his boss has no kids so is not really receptive to these things and DH is a partner so not entitled to flexible working etc - he will be able to do it but it will be a PITA). I really don;t think we have asked a lot of them, do you? My parents are thinking of moving to this area soon so I have asked them and they said they would when they are here but they also want to travel etc. That's fine, I wouldn't want them to be tied, just to do it when they are here with nothing else to do!

neenz I can see how you're frustrated, but my parents would never want to commit to taking my kids every night. Nursery pick up and tea is a tough slog too, and isn't a grandparent's role to be there for the fun stuff? Even if my parents lived close, they'd not be keen to have to do this twice a week. (I know this because they've said no to my brother for things - they're happy with one-off babysitting, but don't want to be tied down).

What time do you start work? How long a day will it be for the twins in nursery? At least it's only two days a week...

Deb - we got a maxi cosi so can't help on the infinity pro.

BLW in the chalet was ok. They did a high tea at 5pm so P got to eat things like spag bol and tuna pasta which were big hits. However he probably had more than his usual amount of yoghurt and didn't get much variety of fruit and veg.

The news this morning is that P finally has his first tooth!

X post with Neenz.

I think it is probably better that the PILs have been brave enough to say no upfront rather than agree to something that they will resent as it would be a long term commitment. Very annoying for you though I agree.

neenz I have to say I think you may be being a teeny bit unreasonable here! I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my mum has visited us once since Caitlin was born ... it sounds like your PILs have already given you a lot of support and it's reasonable enough that they do this on their terms ... I am sorry it will make your return to work more stressful though.

Sorry about the PIL thing making your return to work more stressful Neenz - but it is a big ask I think, so not unreasonable for them to say no. I'm sure if you needed some short term help like your SIL they would oblige though.

I'm disappointed my PIL's didn't seem to happy to help us out either though - they do look after DN every week and we assumed wrongly they'd also want to give us some support.

But they do dote on S and I guess we should be grateful our kids have doting GP's.

AH, ouch - hope Fraser's bump goes soon!

Ali, welcome back - glad to hear you're all well. Thought of you after the news last week .

Deb, can't help - we have a 2nd hand Maxi Cosi but Alex still fits his stage one so we're sticking with it as long as possible.

Neenz, I'm inclined to agree with the others I'm afraid - it's a big ask. But then I have neither sets of parents near so it's not something we've ever had to consider.

just a quick post as have a poorly baby, had to pick her up from nursery with a temp

see what happens when you don't post for a few days... I've come back to find that I'm abnormal! (I'm not a GP though, I'm a hospital doctor, so maybe that's better neenz!)

we're still in the first car seat, but going to get a maxi-xosi priorifix.

Oh on the car seat front, we've bought the maxi cosi priori one (the non isofix one).

Hugs to C Viva, hope she's better soon.

Lovely mothers day here - got nice presents but the best one was the painting S did for me at nursery which was made into a card

No not abnormal Viva - above normal ie very important and clever and I am in absolute awe!! Hppe your LO feels better soon.

Good to hear your views on the PILs. I am still pissed off with them though. T and E are such a pleasure to have that I don't think it is a big ask at all - but then not everyone thinks my kids are as wonderful as I do, even their grandparents! They don't get grouchy at teatime so I know it is not cos it hard work. I think they could have said they'd do it when they were around/wanted to, and on other days DH would have to go get them, or even say they'd do it for six months (then it is short-term like with DH's sister) to see how it goes. But never mind, I heard back from a CM this morn and she sounds promising, she will do till 6.30 anyway which is when DH usually gets home. My hours will be 10.30-6

lol - glad I didn't post about the PILs in AIBU, if your replies are anything to go by I would have got a flaming

Neenz- I can definitely see where you are coming from. The main reason I became a sahm was because ds1 would spend too long in childcare every day and dh was not in a position to help. I would have killed for parental help but sadly they all lived too far away. On the other hand though, they do have every right to say no. Sorry!

AH - J too has a cracking bruise on his temple which is a horible black and yellow affair. He banged it early last wek and then again on top of the old bruise and it has come up really badly. Everyone at the school gate was commenting on it today which made me feel awful . Its not as if I am just letting him run off and fall over without caring though. He did it the second time by sitting up in his cot when still mostly asleep and then falling over like a toppling tree and wacking himself on the corner of the cot. We were woken up by the following screaming.

Neenz, lol at getting flamed on AIBU! I'm sure you could have handled it!

Poor J, sybil, can't believe any parent would judge you would they? I spent my early years covered in bruises and bumps cos I'm so accident prone .

Neenz, interested to see you're going for a CM - thought you were looking for nursery?

HI all- just checking in. Hope you all had wonderful Mothers' Days....

I'm at home with flu ( what is it they say about bad luck coming in threes?) so trying to skim read. Apologies if I missed anyone...

Firstly thanks for all your messages. They were much appreciated. I didn't take you up on the many offers of talking as I'm just so f-ing fed-up. Anyway, I'm done with feeling sorry for myself now, so I thpought I could check in with you all.

Someone wanted to know about the Kiddy- I think it's fab, and not a faff. In actual fact I have a friend with twins who has just bought two of them...and the rest of our NCT group appear to be following suit. Happy to expand if you let me know what you want to know!

SPD- it sucks but at least you know what it is Sponge and you are on top of it. YOu aren't going mad as I defintely remember someone with toddler and SPD. And I second CBeebies suggestion.

Glad Ali and Poppy are back and sorry about you PIL Neenz. It seems to be a common problem with parents of twins, believe it or not. I know three people whose parents will look after one but not two....not very helpful though (((hugs)))

Like I say, if I missed anyone, I'm sorry- off to pick up our dog from kennels. See you later

I had SPD and a toddler it was horrendous, highly reccommend a support band and trips to a physio.

I am looking into all options, Sponge. It is so difficult isn't it, because you want absolutely the best thing for them and how can you know what is the best really? You can't be them for a day and go and check out how they feel in the nursery/CMs. Nurseries conjur up images of babies being left to fend for themselves, whereas with CMs you feel they would be more 'nurtured', but that is a sweeping generalisation and of course it all depends on the nursery and CM! I don't think I will have many options cos one nursery already said no, two CMs have said no too. So I am going to see who can have them and then decide which of them I think is best. I don;t care as long as the DTs are happy!

Hey Puree, good to hear from you. Hopefully good things are coming your way very soon . Interesting what you say about the Kiddy, cos when I went to look at it the shop owner really didn't seem to know what he was doing at all. He obviously didn't know how to fit it properly, so maybe he was doing it wrong and that is why I didn't fancy it. That's a shame cos I really wanted them!

Aarrgggghhh. My mum was supposed to be looking after S in two weeks for a couple of days and she's been called for jury duty. It would appear providing childcare for your GS isn't a good enough excuse to get out if it. Grrr no idea what we'll do - DH is away for few days and i'm at work.

Welcome back p&p.

FWIW Neenz, babypearls has nursery one day a week and CM one day a week- I'm covering all my bases! The CM is so lovely and cuddles her all the time (I have spies at playgroup she goes to with CM) and nursery is such a ball she is exhausted when she gets home. It's five doors down from the house and whenever I pass I see the kids having such fun.

Five- does that rule out six?

BDQ- (((hugs))) logistically a bit of a challenge for me to help!

Speaking of help- Essie- are Amber and I still on for babysitting?

P&P, welcome back - sorry your body is putting you through the wringer at the moment.

Neenz, yes, childcare is a nightmare - and then just when you think you've got it sorted work come and mess it all up again anyway! Must be much more complicated finding two places .

BDQ, nightmare! I know that very little lets you off jury duty nowadays as so many people used to try and get out of it that they didn't have a representative balance at all. Doesn't help you though .

5, I have been referred for physio and dh is getting my belt out of the loft tonight. I'm interested that you're still planning to try for No 3 and it hasn't put you off. I was having a bit of feeling sorry for myself moment last night and said to dh that, although I'm desperate for three, I just don't know whether I can cope with the pain and the risk of permanent disability . I am already struggling to walk long distances (walked round the zoo yesterday and really paid for it) and have the cracking pelvis, even without any baby weight behind it. I have another seven months to endure and, of course, if we have a third I will then have two small children to look after. But if others can do it . . .

Anyway, have an osteopathy appt tomorrow so hoping they can do something to help.

I haven't even given it a thought, but I guess that I am lucky in the fact that DH and I work together so he can do all the standing up stuff and I can sit down and iron and do the bookwork, the going for 3 decision will be made at the end of the year.

Take it easy and Cbeebies is great also dvd's jigsaw puzzles stuff that you can do together sat at a table.

P&P not to sure what you mean by 6.