JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

On a more serious note, just posted this:

iron

Any advice gratefully received.

Sponge how low is your blood count?

Fluradix and Spatone are really good alternative to iron tablets. They contain a smaller quantity of iron, but in a form that is much more easily absorbed. They are both recommended by midwives - numerous midwives have recommended them to me - and they help boost your iron levels without all the unpleasant side effects of iron tablets. Take them with orange juice as that maximises their effectiveness.

Caveat - this has always been much later on in pregnancy than you are.

I haven't forgotten garlicgate . It will take me a long time to forget that!

Do you remember I mentioned a friend who has fertility problems? Well, I was reporting back to her my progress with the various bits of research I'm doing for her and she told me that a woman from church who she had never spoken to before, cornered her and asked if she was aware of the "bicycle method" (lying on your back after a shag and doing bicycle legs). Rude cow.

sponge go talk to a pharmacist - I had one recommend iron supplements when I was pregnant with DS1. It'll be a low & safe dose, so maybe not as much as the dr would prescribe, but it'd easy get you through the week. I don't think iron deficiency is a huge deal in pregnancy, just better avoided. And most prenatal vits don't have iron because it's linked to morning sickness I think (hmm, bet you didn't want to hear that).

I'm such a idiot - just posted on neenz's facebook site using the word 'DS1' instead of his real name. Maybe I need a MN break before I start calling him that in real life.

Thanks guys - that is really reassuring. Will step down from panic mode.

Rolf, I'm afraid your friend will have to get used to alot of that kind of crap from idiots well-meaning friends/acquaintances. I know people who were asked if they knew when was the right time to have sex, if they were doing it enough, etc, etc. It's incredible how people who get pg easily often think the sub-fertile/infertile are the uninformed, whereas, unfortunately, I probably know more about human reproduction than I ever thought possible after having been through IVF, etc.

She either needs to ignore or learn some witty ripostes!

My grandmother once told me that the best way to get pregnant was the missionary position. DH and I had been married for a year but I was still doing my PhD so we weren't even thinking of trying. It was funny at the time, but I can see how it would be horrible in other circumstances.

Finally I get to post: P is in bed; the laundry is in; the dishwasher is loaded; MIL has gone home; DH is on his way back from work; the take away has just arrived and is staying warm in the oven (curry ).

Of course I have forgotten what I wanted to say this week.

Sponge I have posted on the other thread about the iron. Agree with Rolf's caveat, that I know nothing about anaemia earlier on in a pg though.

Rolf - LOL re garlicgate. That must have been about a year ago.

Deb - I have talked to DH about coming to you for a holiday and he is keen. I will email you over the weekend.

Some of you asked about Peter's long-sightedness. The long version of the story is this:

Back at his 6 week check, he was asleep for the appointment. When the GP managed to wake him he didn't follow the toy with his eyes to her satisfaction, and at one point he went a bit cross eyed. She referred him then. I should add though that this was the fourth consecutive week that she had seen him as he had screamed every time she had tried to check his hips and so we had to keep on going back. I think she was a bit fed up of us and referred us for hips and eyes so she didn't have to keep dealing with us every Monday afternoon. My other theory is that there is a conspiracy amongst all the HCP in the Guildford area to refer patients to the hospital for anything and everything. The government tried to close the hospital down a few years ago. There was a big campaign to save the hospital which was successful, but I am sure they need to keep their usage stats up, in order to stop the cost cutters from coming sniffing around again. Anyway, digression over. When Peter was 4 months old he got his appointment at the Eye Clinic. The orthoptist seemed a bit concerned about something but didn't say what, but checked with a colleague and came back and said that everything was normal for that stage of his development. They made a a follow up appointment for 6 months later which was this week. So this week a different doctor saw us and said that on Peter's notes it says he is long sighted. I said that was the first I have heard about it. She checked his eyes by shining a light through some lenses onto his eyes and she agreed that he is long-sighted, and that it wasn't a problem now, but when he is walking he will probably need glasses. However, the whole appointment was a bit of a disaster and so by the time she saw him we had been waiting an hour and a quarter and it was gone midday, so Peter was tired and hungry, and true to form screamed the place down, writhing around, and generally being impossible to keep still. Whilst I am sure the doctor knows her stuff, I am still a bit that her diagnosis is completely sound as it was kind of hard to examine him at the time.

Right, DH is back home, so it is CURRY TIME. Gotta go...

Just a quick one for sponge I second floradix it really brought up my energy levels and didn't cause any unpleasent side effects.

Ali - That would be great, how lovely to meet up with Ethan's Birthday buddy and you 2 of course!

Sponge, I was prescribed iron too but I was supposed to have it on waking before breakfast which was when I was always sick, it never worked out for me, and Ethan worked out fine!!Try not to worry, and hope you have a lovely rest at your parents.

rolf and deb have you thought abotu setting up as a double act . but deb impressed with your window boxes. And rolf not surprised re your anger re your mate - think the raise your legs in air etc stuff has been shown to be nonsense - has your friend got any of books/consuled with anyone at zita west clinics. I can't speak highly enough of them as am one of 3/4 people who had either conception/pregnancy difficulties adn they helped.

essie what kind of pram did you get (and can I say I was grimly fascinated by story of iestyn's conception... also meant to point you to another thread where they needed someone to confirm what the welsh for fanjo was - naturally I though of our resident academic ).

amber good news re sleep improvement but how did the viewing go (duh - not that you're likely to pick this up if you're off for weekend to mil).

and sponge vote for flouradix from here too

ah good news re shower (esp as I sympathise as share the chlorine allergy so that would not be a good alternative).

ali have to say I agree re your cynicism re peter -doesn't sound like the most conclusive/best of tests he has been through.

systemsaddict hope you have better weeken with sleeping.

Right - I got wrong time for edie's swimming today (having taken time out of work to do it ) but we had a fab afternoon . Verdict on work so far is so far so good - edie seems ok with nanny and i'm appreciating hte time I have with her even more (in fact can't see much differnece re sleepign, behaviour etc etc). I'm really enjoying being back as people lovely etc although I do feel my confidence is a bit low as a lot has happened in the last year so need to do some reading/getting up to speed. But I guess taht is the same with anyone who goes back to work - you do feel a bit rusty.

BTW haven't heard from neenz for a while..did I miss her going away or something?

and puree if you're reading - how are you?

Hey! Thanks for noticing Poppy . I have been away, we picked up the trailer tent on Sunday and went to Snowdonia, Betwys Garmon near Canaervon (near Essie country!) on Monday till yesterday. It was great! We are away next w/e for bank hol too.

I have really enjoyed catching up (six pages!!) but have forgotten what I wanted to say of course.

My friend who was struggling to BF has given up . It got a bit difficult between us cos we were only in contact via text, when i text her last Fri (2 days after baby was born) to say don't worry if your milk doesn't come in for a while (cos she had planned section), she text back to say she had given her DD a bottle, and 'I will keep trying but I am not going to get stressed about it and I have DD1 to think of too'. I was quite disappointed cos I thought she hadn't even given it a proper go (the baby was only 48 hrs old) and also I thought DD1 can just get over it (when I had the DTs I didn't think 'I am not BFing T cos I have E to think of' and vice versa) so texted back to say as long as that was what she wanted... giving a bottle is fine... DD1 will be just fine... just keep getting her to suck... then she text back to say the baby wasn't latching on. I felt really bad then cos I thought the baby was latching on well. I felt so sorry for her cos I know how disappointed she would be, and I felt maybe I had come on too strong in the texts and made her feel bad. I texted her every day from then till Wed just asking how she was doing, not mentioning BFing at all, and she didn't reply to any texts till Wed . Eventually she did reply then I apologised if I'd gone too far, she said I hadn't and that she knows I would only be trying to help, but that she was gutted, but I still feel a bit and that I haven't been able to help her and that she gave up so easily. But maybe I just don't understand the flat nipples thing, it has been a real eye-opener that so many on this thread had the same problem, I have told her that loads of people struggle with flat nipples and she did so well to BF dd1 for so long (6wks), but I can't help thinking that she just didn't try hard enough. Am I being unfair? I suspect I am.

The DTs did OK in the tent, but slept in the pram not their cots, and E was quite unsettled, so much so on the second night (2.5hrs proper screaming) that we took her to A&E. Nothing wrong with her of course, the doc said maybe it was colic from being in a new environment. My dad said I was the same, one holiday I refused to poo the whole time we were away. They were both fine on the last night and slept all night (thanks mainly to 5ml Calpol Night for E ). Since we've been home she's screamed her head off when we've put her down for bed at 7pm, but it is such an intense scream that you can tell she is just putting it on to try to get us to get her up IYSWIM. She is throwing herself around her cot for about 30 mins, the little monkey. Sleeping all night after that though.

Gosh that was very long and ranty...

... and I forgot to say yey Sponge, well done on the scan!!!

And Essie, can I just say I am in love with Wales, it is just great and I love that they are preserving the Welsh language with all the bilingual signs and speaking Welsh in shops etc. Can I ask though, what is the etiquette for when someone speaks in Welsh... should you speak back in Welsh or is it OK to use English? I heard a customer in a shop speak welsh but the shop assistant spoke English back... the shop assistant obviously understood the Welsh but chose to speak in English which I thought was a bit .

Can I also ask all you cloth nappy users, how often do you change your LOs? I change mine every 3-4 hours (or if they poo). Obviously they are quite wet by that time but isn't that normal with cloth? My mum and MIL both always remark on how 'very wet' the nappies are when they change the DTs, but IMO it is just normal wetness not mega wetness (the wraps don't leak). T never gets nappy rash but DD does get it bad sometimes. I use metanium and it usually clears up no problem. But I was wondering whether I leave them in wet nappies too long. Surely mum and MIL remember what it was like as they used cloth themselves? E has spots all over her bum at the moment - could that be thrush? It doesn't seem to be clearing so well.

nice to hear from you neenz and glad you had a nice time but sorry to hear about e -but sounds like she is getting back to minxy self now she is home. Glad new trailer is going well -where are you off to next week?

re your friend - its nice you offered to support her but as one of those who suffered and gave up after six week I think you may be being a bit harsh. Its a real sense of failure when you give up given the amount of b/f pressure you get (but fuck all support in most cases - i know some like essie are lucky with the mythic good b/f advisers) and when you add that in to the hormonal mix and culture shock that is new baby it is a bit inflammatory subject. its easy to think that someone is not trying hard enough if you've not had many feeding issues yourself - plus you may not know the whole story as there are a lot of issues around b/f - I am still being treated for the issues that stopped me feeding and its nearly a year on and I may be treated for yaers to come.

Poppy no, I don't think she's come across Zita West. Thank you for thinking of her . I'm going to prepare a little list of suggestions and contacts and can include that.

I've known for quite a while that she had fertility problems but have been very reluctant to pry. Over the past few months she's talked about it and recently when I asked her if she'd like me to make some calls to try to find a consultant who could help her, she agreed. But I'm nervous about getting too bossy and causing her more distress. I think she's at a point where even making phone calls to try to track down a name or some information, makes her very upset, whereas it's easy for me to do that for her. It's really crap isn't it? She handles it very bravely, and is the first to admire someone's new baby but it must break her heart.

acupuncture as well - massively helpful in dealing with stress and regulating your cycle rolf

Hi Poppy was wondering where you were. There are quite a few people missing at the mo - where's 5GoMad, for example?
The new pram, well, Quinny Zapp. Silly, I know, doesn't recline, etc etc, but it is quite funky. Then I've been trying to get it cheaper on nappyvalley, but the person never got back, so I bought it at a discount from Mothercare. We're trying it out tomorrow!
Where's this thread on Welsh for fanjo? There isn't a word, actually, apart from medical ones.
Neenz you came to Wales and didn't say!!! We pride ourselves on being v. welcoming. Wish you'd got in touch - I was around! But if you're coming to Wales again next break, do drop me a line! I recommend Anglesey. You could even camp for free in my garden.

Also Neenz cloth nappies - every 3 hours here, but sometimes longer when he's in nursery. They are wet; the pop-ins aren't too bad, but I've used cotton nappies and wraps and they can be dripping! But it doesn't do any harm, unless your baby has sensitive skin. Iestyn has only had rash once, and I got some metanium (or meconium as we call it in this house ) and it was fine. Poo is more likely to cause a rash, I think. And maybe your rellies are used to disposables, which are not wet to the touch even?

Off to this big wedding tomorrow - children not invited. But someone very fabulous is looking after Iestyn.

Also hot topic there on choice of language. If someone speaks Welsh to you and you work in a shop (in Wales), and you don't speak Welsh, you must apologise nicely, because saying 'speak English will you' or something like that is rude and causes offence. Some people can understand Welsh but can't speak it (usually older people), and some people choose not to speak Welsh for various reasons. Then there's strange things like people who are used to speaking English together (hard to change, but not impossible), and people who prefer English in some contexts. Hard to say what was going on when you were in the shop!

Oh, oh, forgot to say Ali wasn't entirely convinced. But if the worst comes to the worst, I think Peter will look dead cute in glasses. But then everyone in my family except my brother (the almost-pilot) wears glasses, so the hand dealt to Iestyn isn't the best.

OK Rolf - what shall we call ourselves?

Poppy - nice to hear from you, glad work/nanny are going ok after all your worries.

Neenz - love your camping photos on FB

Going2 - you sneaked on there, how are things with you?

Essie, I was wondering where Five was too., and there's quite a few other absentees, get the register out!

Essie, I was thinking of getting in touch to say we were heading your way, but never got round to it. And we were only there two full days. We will def try Angelsey soon and meet up while we're there. It was fab, I loved it - but it was very windy... a bit scary on Wed night, the wind was fierce (the campsite was in a valley between too big hills/mountains in Snowdonia!) but the DTs slept right through it .

The Welsh/English language thing totally intrigued me. I thought the woman in the shop (yes she was older, 50s maybe?) was very rude to speak English back to the customer (who was 30s-ish), and the customer looked kind of embarrassed, like I do when I am in France and I try to speak French and the French person speaks perfect English back to me .

Yes I feel bad about my BFing friend, I know she must feel dreadful and I feel bad that I haven't been able to help and may even have made her feel worse .

Five's not in Germany, is she? Or have I totally missed something?
It is a bit quiet on here, with several 'regulars' missing.

How much has Five been around since the thing with Neenz and the medication? Come back Five, we miss you!

Essie, you are right about glasses not being such a big deal. I just have a theory that once you wear glasses then your eyes a adjust and become more dependent on them.

Neenz- glad camping was fun. On the BF thing I know where you are coming from in that I had a friend who had established BF and then decided she had enough at about 12 weeks and switched to formula. I felt quite pissed off with her, but I felt quite ashamed of myself for feeling like this as it is her business and not mine. I think though that one of the reasons I felt like that is because I knew of all the traumas that Poppy and Sponge had gone through and were still going through and I didn't think it was fair to be giving up when everything was going so well and others would love to be in her position. On the other hand, I have a different friend who gave up BF with DC2 a week in, because she was so stressed with DC1 running around. I understood and sympathized with her completely. However that might be more to do with the nature of my friendships with those two friends. That situation sounds more like your friend, I think you have to accept that if the BF was difficult and causing anxiety then the whole family was going to suffer.

Hi Debs, I had been feeling a bit miserable for no particular reason so had decided to just lurk.

I have had a really good few days though which has really cheered me up! Last saturday we went to Disney and had a fantastic weekend, it was even better than I thought it would be and though it was tiring it was the best holiday we have ever had with the children - totally stress free! Then I got a newsletter from thinkbaby and they were looking for mums who use disposables to try out bumgenius nappies and I was picked - hopefully they will arrive today or monday. Then on thursday my bf friend gave me tickets for the Hannah Montana premiere and the girls had a great time getting autographs and seeing the film. Then yesterday DD1 had a burberry casting and when we got there they saw all three of my children which made DD2 feel really special as she doesn't usually get castings! All in all a fab week!

Neenz it's extremely windy in my back garden - one of the windiest places in Anglesey. I decided against a ball pool for that reason (I think Deb or was it Sybil mentioned it could be a problem!)
On the Welsh thing, well, I wasn't going to mention it but it can be used as a tool as well. It's quite rare, but I knew someone who refused to speak Welsh to fluent speakers (they had learnt, academics, totally fluent) because she wanted them to feel small and like they couldn't manage. It's shocking and something you should never ever do.

Ali I think you're right about glasses - I have a friend who is an eye surgeon and she used to say that people like me with bad eyesight but not awful wouldn't even bother with glasses if we were, say, in the third world, but would just manage. But because I have glasses, and am used to 20/20 vision, my slightly under par vision without glasses means I can't cope. I can read a book without glasses, see the clock (it's blurry) etc, just everything is a bit blurry and driving isn't a good plan. But you know what I mean.
Having said that, my sister wore glasses as a child, for long sightedness, and she doesn't now, has excellent vision. So Peter could be the same. Does anybody know for sure that vision settles down this early? Just a thought!