Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

[dinkystinky]

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

SMS, I'm not sure if I said what I meant to in my earlier post, I mean that what you do now probably won't set a pattern forever, that you might need to wake him up for feeds now but because his patterns will change it doesn't mean he will never sleep through for longer (that is more a matter of luck than judgement I suspect)

MrsY You see, we wake at 6:30, I then bring Luke to living room, run in and get Jacob, give Jacob some milk abd change his nappy, put tv on, then quickly chuck any dry washing from the clothes horse into the airing cupboard, then get Luke's bottle rwady, fed him, wash him and dress him, then he goes back to sleep whilst I put fresh wash in machine, sterilise bottles, do last nights washing up, clean and mop kitchen, then give Jacob a bowl of cereal and some fruit while I have my breakfast and log on here quickly, then I shower, clean bathroom and dress, then wash and dress Jacob and then it's about 10ish (depending on how long I sit on here). I can get it all done by 9am which is wht I aim for, because if I want to go out for the day, I have to be out the house by 9am latest due to travelling times.
thom Hope you've had a lovely day. I have to have a routine, I am such a control freak!!! I just think that if I have a rough idea of what happens and when I can plan my days better, I'll know I need to be somewhere where I can feed baby by a certain time and not be in the queue in shops and he suddenly starts and I have to find somewhere to feed iyswim.
LMN When I was pregnant with ds1 and doing all the reading, a friend of mine told me to stay away from GF because xxx so I just did, then, far too late, I find out that she is all that I'm about!! I need definite answers to things and it sounds like her book would have really helped me last time. Obviously this time it can't all be as strict as I'd like, I am slowly learning to ride the waves with ds1.
Glad ds's fever has gone
Pempe I am sooo angry for you. You are not a terrible mother. A terrible mother wouldn't bother to take her baby to the doctor. She sounds like a complete fruit cake. Most children need a daytime nap until they are about 2/3!! It is not your fault that the lo is low on iron or has blocked nose. You're bf aren't you? I don't know much about it as never bf, but I'm sure that 3 hours is a long time for a bf baby when you can't see how much they're getting. Please don't let that dr get you down, sound like you are doing a fantastic job.
PT yeah, I do see his point, and yours definitely. If I think he's hungry earlier than the 4 hours, I will feed him, it doesn't have to be by the second or anything just roughly around the same times iyswim.
elkie that's also a good point, the routines that are out in place for those of us that are using them do change soo often. I remember with ds1, everytime I found a routine that suited me/us, he went and had a growth spurt or weaned or started teething. It's all a bit over the place for the firstr 6 months isn't it? For ds1 I did actually set my alarm during the night to go off just before feed times so I could stay within my routine as best as possible, not sure I want to go to that extent, but I suppose I'd have to if i really want him feeding at 7am, or I could give a little top-up like others have said to stretch him out a bit.

Thanx all for the input there. Some interesting points. I think I'm going to go with the top-up option for 7am if he's fed at 5, for example. That is what I think is best for me. I don't think I can set the alarm to wake him in the night because every second I can get asleep is absolute heaven

We, well Ashley, bought a new car today. A Vaxhall Zafira (sp?) 7 seater, deisel turbo 2.0 engine (whatever all of that means) it is a dark green colour, 05 plate, 1 owner from new.
I took ds1 to the hairdressers today to get a decent haircut and he looks great! He looks sooooooo much like his dad though, can't complain, I choose (chose?) to have children with dp, so can't grumble when they come out looking like him

Just a quick message to let you all know that we haven't dropped off the end of the earth - in fact Alexander has been in hospital since last Wednesday. I've got to get back up there now so not much time for details but in short he had a temperature last week, NHS Direct advised us to take him to A&E and he was subsequently admitted. The poor little mite was really not well and was being tested for meningitis to start off with (he had to have a lumbar puncture - I think I cried more than he did!) but it turned out that he had a urine infection. We've been in hospital ever since as it took a while to diagnose that, but he had to be on antibiotics by UV. He comes home tomorrow (hooray!!) but will have to have various investigations to find out why he got the infection (kidney scans etc) and will be on preventative antibiotics until it's diagnosed.

So we've been living at the hospital for the past week. Fortunately the children's ward is fab, great nurses and good facilities so it's been as good as it could be but we can't wait to have a little boy back where he belongs.

Anyway, I'll be back on again soon, once life has become a bit more normal again!

Sounds like you've had a real scare, QK. Hope you get him home soon.

Aw QK poor little Alexander - hope he has a speedy recovery.

I've had a lovely day up in Kew today - seeing a friend with DD - DS is at nursery on a monday/tuesday so it's nice to see friends with DD as its sooooo much easier. I went to M&S bought a few new clothes for me and some more for her and then met my friend for lunch. The weather was gorgeous and it was lovely to get out.

SMS - I know we're all split here on routine or not but if you are a routiney person then this is my advice (didn't think you'd avoid my two peneth on the routine issue did you ). I did a routine with DS as probably selfishly it suited me and actually suited DS in the end and he settled into it nicely at about 3 - 4 months (as I think I've mentioned before). I wouldn't have struggled with it for the sake of it as it isn't worth it and I was never a slave to it, but DD is settling into a similar routine and I'm finding she has really nice long sleeps and then is fairly chilled (when not windy) in between. It also means that DS knows when we'll be getting time together on our own.

So, to answer your question , as the others have said (are you sure you lot aren't secret "routiners" ). If you get a wake up before 7am (and want a 7 - 7 day) then you'd need to top up at 7/7.30ish. If DD wakes, say, at 5am I usually settle her back and top up at 7.30am as she is more likely to take more then and will then go to 10/10.30ish after a short nap.

Is your DP saying not to wake in the night or at other times ? I never wake DD in the night and wait for her to yell for food. She's usually in bed by 6.30pm (can't last longer) and I wake her at 10pm and give her some feed - I've just started to then keep her downstairs with me for an hour or so and top her up by 11ish so that she goes longer in the night (she will take a couple more ounces if I top her up an hour later). The last three nights she's gone 3am/3.30am and then last night 4.35am - might be a fluke but I hope it carries on .

If you do routiney type things and your DS eventually learns night from day then if you get most of the feed in him during the day then eventually he will go through the night and longer than 4 hours (as last night indicated - that was a good stretch of sleep). Most babies until they're weaned need a certain amount of milk per day. If you go on demand, that's fine but you might find he "demands" at shorter or longer periods but you won't know when they are so you might find that some nights he wants feeding more at night than the day. Although saying that I don't know re the demand thing as I've never done it so the "demand" ladies might be able to help.

I think I've said before that in my NCT group we were routine and demand and we all ended up reaching the same goal via a different route it's not that one is better than the other. I am just a bit of a control freak and like structure [sad person emoticon] - I feel like I'm losing the plot when all my balls are up in the air. Today for eg, we went out, DD nodded on and off all day and fed at odd times and then when she yelled I didn't know if she wanted food/ a kip or was windy - see, I got confused ! BUT I won't sacrifice my life for a routine and need to go out some days and have a life. GF is quite extreme so you have to take some of it with a pinch of salt but if you are a routine person some of it is "helpful"

As usual I have gone on long enough.....

I am now going to sit in the corner on my own as I suspect you'll all now think I'm the routine "freak"......

DH has just bought us Creme Eggs from the petrol station en route home (he never does that)-he doesn't know that I've also had chips today

PT-Haven't ben on for a few days...have you bought a backpack yet???

If not, I'm happy to loan you my beco soft carrier if you are happy to pay for the p&P??

Evening all.

QK - what a horrible experience for all of you. I'm glad Alexander is on the mend and hope he's home soon - one of my best friends from my NCT group (from when I was pregnant with DS1) had exactly the same thing with her little girl and her little girl was absolutely fine after the infection was treated (I dont think they ever got to find out the reason it happened though) and is a thriving nearly 3 year old - so (hard though it is) please dont let the "what ifs" get you down. Just focus on getting through the here and now.

Pempe - meant to say earlier, you are NOT a terrible mother; you're doing great. Please dont let the paed confuse you; just follow your instincts with Harry and all will be fine. When babies are ill/distressed, sucking comforts them - which is why your little man is feeding so often. He's also likely to be getting dehydrated from his cold so he'll be wanting lots of little and often thirsty quenching drinks. Believe me I know - from the age of 3 months DS1 had cold after cold after cold and I went through all this (another tip for when Harry is older, Olbas oil or Karvol will help him breathe but he's far too little to try andy of that at the moment). And as Elkiedee and all others have said, babies do need to sleep during the day time (in fact my nearly 3 year old DS1 still has a day time nap most days and is the cranky kid from hell on the days he skips it)- maybe she meant he shouldnt sleep all day long but it came out wrong in the translation?? The steam inhalation in the bathroom will help - as will maybe bathing Harry before bedtime including wetting his head (warmth will relax him and may help get the bogies out too). You're going through the very hardest part of being a new mum with a baby who is feeling poorly - it gets so much easier, and better, than this so hang on in there.

QK So sorry about Alexander, pleased he's coming home tomorrow. Sounds like itwas very scary.
herb thanks. No, I didn't think I'd get away without a comment from you
Dp wants me to wait for Luke to tell me he's hungry night and day, but seeing as it's not him that has to do it, I think I'm gonna carry on with the routine feed.

I've had my first day out of maternity clothes today. My Child Tx Credit award has gone up by a couple hundred £ a month, so I bought myself a pair of jeans and 2 tops from Tescos.

firstly apols 4 missing most people on the personals, i've had a shite couple of days and not read, 2ndly sorry 4 the typos and lack of caps, I currently have a hungry bairne!

Pempe do you have an adapter to change uk plug fittings into greek ones??? If so please let me send you a calpol vapouriser! It also doubles as a lovely night light and has these sachets that slot in and release a vapour overnight which are sachets of MINI MARVELOUS MIRACLES!!!! They are the ONLY things that worked for my Harry who had cold after cold when he was tiny. They are so good I actually spent the effort with a bf baby writing in caps! lol The only downside to them is that H now cant sleep without it plugged in for the night light (I dont put the sachets in all the time obviously) It's lasted nearly 2 yrs so far so v durable. FB me your address if you want me to send you one and be prepared for lots of lovely sleep And feeding on demand means that no, you dont over feed your baby! Stupid paed! Both H & Sam have fed anywhere between every 20mins to start with and every 6hrs. I would never deny my child a feed just because they hadn't fit the 'required' amount of time between .

My arm is beginning to ache already my fat little pudding!

Dinks - I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt, hope you and your family are all ok and bearing up Can I just say aswell that you are absolutely fab at responding individually to everyones posts and always say just the right thing. I feel very inadequate and inarticulate at this moment in comparison so will have to resort to an un-MN

Beantin/SMS sorry I have no advice, I have no routine when it comes to feeding. HV asked today how often between Sam's feeds and i was....erm..... a nap and 2 poos ???? 'and how long does he feed for?' .... 3 of Harry's thomas train line ups and crashes (he has the whole set and duplicates) and a read of an ITNG annual ??? I do start doing bath, massage, story, feed, bed from 4wks tho

QK - you sound so calm!!! Can't believe you've had to go thru that and sound so together - must have been so terrifying! So glad he's recovering now xxxxx

I got back into my pre-pg sinny fit jeans today which I was quite at. Do feel a shopping trip coming on tho My newborn is now over 2 weeks old and a HUGE 8lbs 10oz!!! He looks so much like his big brother I sometimes do a little confusing time travel during the sleep depriving early morning feeds

I had a few qu's but cant remember them now

2 random post natal thoughts I had over the past couple of days...........

1/ I was shocked at how many ingrowing hairs there were on my 'touch and feel' pruned bikini line........ and how uneven it was

2/ I'm not yet 30 however due to my vbac I will now need to buy the larger size mooncup

Ooooo - remembered a qu....

4 those who had stitches, I get that the area should swell slightly but it feels as if they gave me a designer vagina couple more stitches than needed. i.e I'm 'better' than before. (stiches have dissolved btw) Is this normal and the swelling takes a few weeks to go down properly or has dh got himself a born-again-virgin bride?????

morning all
QK, how scary for you and DH. Poor little Alexander, what an awful thing for you all to go through, so glad he is on the mend and will be home soon.

SMS, how organised are you! very impressive

Spotty, that plug in thing sounds good, never heard of them but will look out for them, where can you buy them?

ref stiches, I had them first time round with DS1 (nearly 16 years ago) and seem to recall that it felt quite 'tight' at first. It is still very early days for you though so hopefully it will soon settle down. I had quite a few stitches as had a nasty tear.

Very bad few days here. DD is being a little brat. She is really playing up as daddy away and pushing me to (and past!) my limit. I'm ashamed to say I've lost it a few times and smacked her which I feel gutted about. I'm so very tired and she keeps coming in at night, two or three times in the early hours and deliberately wakes H up. She did it this morning at around 1am and then about 4.30am when I'd just got him back to sleep. He has just fallen asleep on my lap for the first time since then and we are both shattered. The last month or so our houseboy has been walking her to nursery (10 min walk) but today about 5 mins after they left she ran back screaming demanding that I take her so I had to leave H with Zakir (who seemed quite proud to be allowed to hold him) to take her. I know its hard for her with daddy being away and her getting even less attention but I'm trying so hard to give her as much love and attention but its even harder to when she is being so evil and deliberately shouting/screaming and trying to hurt H. Feel like a really crap inexperienced mum, hard to believe its my 4th baby

Keep meaning to ask, has anyone heard from IDBI? (and a few others who seem to have vanished) Hope all is ok with her and Freya and that her treatment is going well. Not been able to get on facebook for a while (crap internet) so if she is on there at all can someone please pass on my regards and best wishes for Freya and her treatment.

Right, off to try to move sleeping beast from my lap in an attempt to get some breakfast.

meant to say, hugs to PT and tell your DP to mop the farkin floors himself!

Mmorning all!

QK Glad LO's on the mend now. Sounds like you coped really well.

Spotty what yu are describing sounds normal to me. That's how I felt both times. That reminds me, I must pluck up the courage to have a look and inspect my surgeon's handiwork!

MOS I must admit I haven't resorted to smacking but have bloody well felt like it. DS1 has been the devil incarnate since Mr T was born and it's tremendously hard to bear. Luckily, so far it's all been directed at me & Dh but the constant chorus of I hate you, go away, do this, do that, you're not my mummy etc is really upsetting and trying. Intellectually I know it's because he's had his world turned upside down that he's angry, upset and confused and is pushing me to my limits to test that I'll stick around and still love him. Underneath it all, somewhere, is my lovely, kind, cheerful boy but it is heartbreaking and on top of the demands of a tny baby and not enough sleep it's not much fun.

Talking of routines, the DSs seem to have established one involving DS2 waking for a feed at 4.30am then staying awake until 6am at which point DS1, who has never before in his life woken before 7.30am, gets up for the day. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I guess I'll just wait and see then. Haven't plucked up the courage to actually look yet.

THOM my DS's have the same routine!!!

DS1 was a 7.30'er but is now more like 5.30! and he wont go straight to sleep at night at 7.30 as usual - it's nearer 9 when he stops messing about! and he has started getting up in the night. Which makes for a very cranky toddler. He has developed a constant screech that makes me go into a bathroom and physically pull my hair and scream - either that or I'll smack the little bugger. He is becoming sooooo difficult, still lovely to DS2 tho, it's just us parents he's not happy with

Between the 2 of them I get 1-3 hrs broken sleep a night.

Oh and the calpol plug thing I get in my local tesco's but you can get a karvol one in any pharmacy/supermarket. Haven't tried those tho

spotty I doubt they put extra stitches in . From what I remember of last time, it took a while for the site to heal properly and sex was uncomfortable on entry for a good few weeks. I think it all depends on whether it was a cut or a tear to how long it takes to get back to normal, last time was ages for me (cut) this time it felt fine the following day (tears).
MoS Sorry you've had a crap few days, hopefully dd will calm down a bit for you.

Not sure what to do today. I want to stay in so I can nap when ds1 does (if ds2 allows it). Think I'm going to have a really long, lazy day.

Morning all. Thanks Spotty for your kind words - you're more articulate than you know, and your posts almost always make me chuckle! Sorry you've had a crap few days - hope the sunshine is helping today. Re stitches - I ended up feeling quite tight down below for a while after DS1's birth (bad tear, lots of stitches and swelling) so used the dreaded KY jelly the first few times DH and I had sex post baby but seemed to stretch back to normal after that. As for inspecting the MW's handiwork this time round (and last time for that matter) - I dont dare! I had a feel down there and it feels like its gone back to normal and that's good enough for me And Calpol/Karvol plug ins are a great idea - we used to use Karvol drops for DS1 (another cold monster from an early age) but couldnt use those till 3 months; if you can use the Calpol vapouriser earlier I'll be getting down to my local tesco to get one! Also, about your DS1 waking up and messing around - my DS1 (who is over a year older than your H) did exactly the same but now, 5 weeks in, he's mostly over it (still having nightmares in the night but not messing around at bedtime any more and sleeping to his normal 6.30ish starts), so hold on in there. And he is getting better with his clinginess too so hopefully we're starting to come out the other side (is there a "wonder if I'm speaking too soon" emoticon?) of it. Most impressed at your fitting into pre-preg clothes already! And most jealous of SMSs shopping trip too... mental note, must get to the shops..

THOM - sending huge hugs to you; its so hard dealing with an older child who is being so nasty to you (but thankfully lovely to DS2). It doesnt help that with his age he's going through massive testosterone surges which makes the adaptation to DS2 even harder for him (if you remember, MsLucy was going through something really similar wih her DS1 when she was pregnant and I think he was the same age your DS1 is now). It might help reminding yourself that a lot of it is down to hormones he's going through which he'd be going through anyway - and you will come out the other side (as MsLucy and her DS1 have now).

MoS - am so sorry DD2 is being so naughty. She's clearly just playing you for attention but it doesnt make it any easier to live through... I think she's over 2 isnt she - could you maybe try a star chart to reinforce her good behaviour (doing what she's told, being nice to H, sleeping in her bed etc.) and when she gets over a certain number of stars getting her a treat (could be anything you care - more cartoons on tv etc.)? I know that this worked brilliantly for a couple of my friends who were having a nightmare with their toddlers' behaviour. I really hope she settles down soon for you - and that DH brings back lots of chocolate for you to enjoy after Lent. I hope you havent given up cake and biscuits for Lent as am sending you a virtual carrot cake and some hobnobs (sans chocolate of course) now to help you get through today...

PS Spotty - fab weight for little S. You have uber milk Missus!

Hello everyone, haven't been around much as DH has been away leaving me with the 3 of them on my own

It's been ok, lowest point was last night when the children ate at 18.50! Still he's back today At least I've been getting some sleep as Abi and I co sleep and it's working a treat - thanks mumsnet!

Have taken on board the advice about the plug ins - Abi has got a cold already so will give it a go.

QK really sorry to hear about your lo , glad he's on the mend.

Anyone got an infrequent pooer? Abi used to produce 3 - 4 times a day, then once a day and now she hasn't been since Fri morning - is that normal? She is breastfed doesn't seem to be in pain, producing wind and wet nappies.

McDreamy - eating at 18.50 doesn't sound so bad....I was still trying to persuade DS to eat his dinner at 7pm last night. He ended up eating just a strawberry - fussy little devil. Re: pooing - DD just does 1 megapoo every other day at the moment but HV said it was ok as long as she had plenty of wet nappies as well and didn't seem uncomfortable.

QK - sorry about your drama with DS but glad to hear all is ok now, how scary for you!

Sorry for all of you suffering from the terrible toddler tamtrums. We went through a couple of weeks of hell when DD came home from hosp but DS seems much more settled now and has even had a week of sleeping through 11+ hours which he has never done before . I did catch him feeding his cup of milk to DD this morning though I think most of it went down her front!!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birhday to you
Happy Birthday PinkTulips
Happy Birthday to you!

Hope the sun is shining where you are!

QK

hope you're ok, you must have been frightened to death by all of that. glad he's on the mend and you can have him home today. {{{hugs}}}

we're having awful luck on this thread with sick babies aren't we

pempe... i missed your mad paeds advice yesterday... does she realise you're bf-ing when she gave that advice? if he's sick he needs to be feeding as often as he asks as he's using more food to fight the bug and he's also thirstier because of the illness. please ignore the crazy woman... if you were tempted for a second to believe a word she said then that nonsense about not sleeping in the day proves she's psychotic and you know that's true! just lt him tell you what he needs to get better, most likely food little and often and cat naps... draining for you but honestly, bm is like medicine and he needs a constant supply of it to get better. is his nose any better when he's on his front? aaron wakes every morning at 5/6am in hysterics because of his blocked nose but if i put him on his tummy on top of me he seems calmer... it's also a really great feeding position if he's snuffly... let him root around and latch on while he's lyig there, sounds daft as you don't think you're milk will flow like that but it does and babies seem to love it.

chilled, thanks for the offer but think i'm ging to go with the ergo as i've heard grat things about how good tey are on dodgy back and i love the design of that one... it's going to be my treat to myself to cheer myself up a bit.

mcdreamy... aaron has gone from pooing 8/10 times a day to just one or 2 HUGE explosions per day.... great fun as they have a tendancy to ooze all over his clothes. no idea why he's switched, think i preferred the 10 small poos a day though!

it's my birthday today

Happy Birthday PT - have a fab day!

Just had a quick look at the ergo baby carrier - looks very comfy. I ordered a Moby from ebay yesterday, looking forward to wearing that, esp around the house as I feel I can't get anything done and watch as my home disintergrates around me on a daily basis!

lol THOM, how did you know?

thanks

feeling rather sad and neglected so bought myself and ds1 creamcakes and am heading to my parents as soon as dd finishes playschool for some parental spoiling (joys of being an only child )