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Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

1001 replies

dinkystinky · 05/03/2009 21:14

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
thehouseofmirth · 12/03/2009 17:41

PT it was me! I don't think MENSA would agree with you though...

Had Tarran weighed today and the little porker's put on another 1lb so he's gained 2lbs 7oz in the 3 weeks since he's been born.

Tarran does the jerky leg thing & so did DS1 so I think it's normal. As I think is the cross eyed thing. I think it's all to do with lack of muscle control. I remember how DS1's eyes used to wander around totally independently of each other!

PinkTulips · 12/03/2009 19:04

MS... dp worked nights when dd was a baby.... it's absolute hell {{{{hugs}}}} worst part is you can't even reasonably get pissed off at them!

MOS, don't be daft... i'm just being melodramatic as usual... sparked by annoying women at playschool who never once asked if aaron was ok or showed any interest in the fact that he was sick but constantly rattle on about how thin i've gotton and 'don't look like i was ever pregnant'. i did mean my post lightheartedly but reading back it doesn't come across that way does it

thom.... am pmsl that i managed to spell genius wrong wow at tarrans weight gain... that's some milk you've got!

dinkystinky · 12/03/2009 20:47

Markstretch - that sounds really tough. I hope your DH gets off nights soon so you can get a break - either that or that Frankie starts sleeping nice long sleeps all of a sudden this week so you get nice long sleeps too...

Pinktulips - at the women at the playgroup; they've really got their perspectives skewed havent they! Are these the same village idiots who were asking you why you were still pregnant when you were only 8 months pregnant???

My poor DH is really in the wars - he's had a cold for 2 weeks, flu for a few days (with racking cough) but struggled into work yesterday and toady and now he's developed a horrible viral rash all over his body. I dread to think what tomorrow's development will be. He feels awful as he cant help out with the boys (he's worried about giving them the lurgies he has) as much as he'd like to/as I'd like him to in an ideal world and he's missing out on cuddle time with the boys. I suspect I'm actually getting more sleep, and feeling a million times better, than he is at the moment!

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dinkystinky · 12/03/2009 20:49

Spotty - your post made me laugh (sorry - it was the typos and corrections really). I've also got a couple of favourite size 8 clothes from 5 years back that I refuse to bin in the (I admit probably quite futile) hope that one day I'll slim back down to that size...

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PinkTulips · 12/03/2009 20:55

dinky... those would be the same shining examples of social grace and tact alright dunno why i still get annoyed by them, i need to grow thicker skin i think.

your poor dh hope you carted him off to the docs for some nuclear strength meds. poor thing missing out on the cuddles when he could probably really do with some

dinkystinky · 12/03/2009 21:00

Thanks Pinktulips - he's heading in to emergency clinic tomorrow to get the killer meds, though my GP dad is on the phone to him now talking him through his symptoms to make sure its not anything he needs to see a doctor about right now...

My discovery of the day I'd like to share with you all - mini babybels smell of baby poo... seriously...

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dinkystinky · 12/03/2009 21:03

Spotty - re your SPD - you're still suffering. I was told by a colleague that had really bad SPD that it continued (in a lesser form) while they continued to breastfeed their babies - I really hope that's not the case for you...

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spottypushedherbabyout · 12/03/2009 21:38

Hope my physio can work her magic. Cant do with SPD for the next 2 years!

thehouseofmirth · 13/03/2009 00:01

MOS I had none of PT's problems, have done no excercise, eat my body weight in buns every day and was back in my size 8 clothes within 2 weeks of Taran being born...Just goes to show it's totally genetic.

Another tandemer here. DS1 is 3.7 and very committed though honestly I had hope he'd self-wean when I was pg. This is where most of his jealousy has been focussed but it seems to be getting a bit better and I'm still trying to keep it to morning and bedtimes.

Dnky I hope your DH gets sorted tomorrow.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 13/03/2009 01:08

I?m determined to keep up now but the move is still making life difficult!

MsLucy, I find my maternity clothes are easiest on my scar ? and it?s so rare that I buy myself nice clothes that I?m not in a rush to put them away! Well done on the breastfeeding and growth, sounds like you?re doing brilliantly. He sounds enormous to me, but then Sîan is still in early baby size (as long as it doesn?t have feet as she has long legs) and ten weeks tomorrow! Don?t worry about the cosleeping, it?s actually the safest place for him to be and it?s been proven that cosleepers breastfeed for longer. If you post in the breast and bottle feeding forum you will get some really interesting links about cosleeping that will help you feel better.

Spotty we used to take it in turns to stay awake when Tink was very young because she would only sleep on her front. We told the paediatrician who laughed at us and said that as long as we were following all the other advice then not to worry as some babies just do like to be on their front. Sîan is following suit and I think it is because she still goes into the foetal position which she can?t do on her back. We cosleep anyway so one of us is aware of what?s happening with her all the time (TBD is an exception to the ?not letting dad do the cosleeping? rule, with my back he comes in very handy). Your corrections post has given me a laugh! Breastfeeding can stop the relaxin levels returning to normal so the PGP pain can continue for some time afterwards. Glad to hear you?re getting physio, don?t know if s/he has said it to you but make sure you do your pelvic floor exercises, they?ll help you to get things back to normal.

A tip for the very leaky mums, try putting a muslin folded into ¼ in the same direction into your bra.

MarkStretch, I bet Sîan could out burp/ fart any baby/ man! She?s been really unsettled today then tonight she has done several minute long farts (no exaggeration!) and a few man-like burps!

Pempe, that is ridiculous! It?s scary what some HCP?s believe and sad that some parents may believe them. I can?t go 3 hours without feeling like I?m about to burst, I can?t imagine what it would do to my supply if I went with that advice!

Fruitstick what we did with Tink was to put her in her own bed every night, then bring her in with us when she woke. As she slept longer through the night she spent longer in her own bed. By four months she was sleeping a good 6 hours from 9pm and spent most of the night in her own bed. Come 6months she was coming in with us around 4-5am.

Catstar, I?m never out on my own with the girls so it?s not a problem for me and I tend to be going somewhere when I do so I can always find somewhere to sit and feed whilst someone else watches Tink.

I?m not a fan of dummies personally, but I respect it?s personal choice, but please, if you are going to use one don?t use the SIDS excuse without thoroughly researching it, it?s not all that it was advertised to be.

Rosie, the reason cosleeping works better with breastfeeding mums is because they?re less likely to turn their back on the baby (obviously it?s a generalisation and isn?t always the case) if you think that you?re not going to turn your back on him then go for it, it?s the best place for him to be.

To keep me warm at night I have a single that I wrap around my shoulders. It?s open on my chest when she?s feeding so she isn?t covered but enough of me is covered that I?m warm enough.

Congrats and welcome Beantin.

SMS, 90% of infants that die in their sleep are in their own bed, twice as many deaths occur when a baby is in it?s own room as when they?re cosleeping. No death of a cosleeping baby has ever been proven to be because of cosleeping when all the rules were followed. In that case the baby would have died where ever they were and I would rather be holding my baby if they died than have them alone (that?s why I held Lily-Hope, I didn?t care what she would look like, just that she couldn?t die alone). WRT colic, have you tried slinging? Being upright can help ease it.

Calico, I had the same problem for a long time, even now she pants through feeds which aerates her milk making her very windy. Have you posted in the feeding forum and/ or spoken to an IRL BFC? I find sitting her on my lap can help.

Raisin, I?m still tandeming feel free to come back and join us on the support group! Tink only really has it at night or when she?s over tired, it?s sweet really because that?s when she does the eye rolling and shows her appreciation in a way she hasn?t since she was a baby. MOS, I was lying on my back in bed with both cups unclipped, feeding Sîan when Tink came in. She got into bed, saw the free nipple and helped herself! I try not to have them both on at the same time as Sîan is so tiny and needs so much help and it?s not easy when Tink?s there too. I found that breastfeeding brings them together, even though it?s not usually ?together? Tink seems to identify it and will give Sîan loads of cuddles and kisses and tell her she loves her, she?s beautiful etc when she?s doing it. She expects me to fight her for kisses though so I have to try and kiss the baby attached to my nipple!

KT, it won?t be a whole bottle. If you spill fluid it always looks like more than it is, so she is probably still getting a lot of milk. Reflux means the valve at the top of the stomach isn?t working properly and allowing the stomach contents to come back up.

I have finished moving the last of my things over today (I convienently lost the keys to the store room and they turned up today ) the house is a mess because we?ve not unpacked most things, fortunately we?re not moving back in a hurry! It looks rather overwhelming at the moment but Dad is going to take me over on his days off, he gets three and needs one to do the washing then the rest of the time we?ll go over there. His off days are during the week at the moment so Mum won?t be there nagging me about something or another! I have a nice new hair cut which I will upload pictures of onto FB when I get chance. I can?t believe how short I?ve gone ? or how long it was, it had gone past my waistband and is now just below my bra!

spottypushedherbabyout · 13/03/2009 07:08

Hi TBM. Congrats on the move

I really hope its just because I had a vbac and my pelvis can be re-aligned fairly easily and not the bf thing. I fed DS1 and it disappeared after the birth last time but I did have a CS so wondered if it was as my pelvis didn't have to totally move apart iyswim.

Thanks for the info on front sleeping. It's working beautifully for us and we are of the opinion re SIDS that even if you follow every single guidline religiously, if it's going to happen its going to happen. We are following all the others as your paed says.

Bet your hair looks lovely. I had mine cut a month ago, they took half a foot off!!! to just below my bra line, still feels funny but easier to wash

SomeMightSay · 13/03/2009 07:52

Morning all. Dinky Hope your dh is feelng a bot better today. Definitely don't need half the parental unit out of play when there's a newborn around do we? Viral infections aren't contagious though are they? Hope the dc's are in good moods and are 'easy' for the next few days.
RE clothes. I'm still wearing my mat clothes although they are too big and just slightly uncomfortable, I don't want to depress myself by not being able to fit into anything else. Haven't even tried, I should really. I think all the clothesI have put away are a 14 so no chance!! I took all the clothes I had after ds1 to the charity shop. Fool.
Went to bed at 9 again last night, that 2 hours before Luke's feed is lovely but it means I'm getting up twice instead of just the once (depending on ds1) so not sure if it's better or worse going early or staying up iyswim.
I still haven't done that ironing and the pile is getting bigger and bigger! I'm not doing anymore washing until I've tackled the ironing, although it's a pointless activity, all our clotes look worse after I've ironed them to how they look before, but practise practise practise. I've been ironing for 4 yrs and still no improvement

LittleMissNorty · 13/03/2009 08:24

Morning

I'm with you on the staying up thing SMS....I never know whether to stay up and do the late feed and get up once during the night or to get a couple of hours in first. If he feeds around 7pm, I tend to stay up but any later and I go to bed. Last night he woke at 11.15pm and then 4am, so not too bad. Things are settling into a pattern here at long last (touch wood!)

I went to change his babygro this morning and he'd done a HUGE poo (he only goes every couple of days) and it was everywhere, so he had a bath at 6.45am!

SMS - can you send your ironing out? My two luxuries in life is getting someone to walk my dog for an hour a day (goes back to when I was working FT and I've kept it up) and sending out my ironing. I'd rather live on beans on toast than iron again Not sure I even have my ironing board any more....

herbgarden · 13/03/2009 09:33

Morning all....sorry don't have time to read everything this morning but welcome back TBM nice to hear from you and sorry dinky that DH has the lurgy. Sounds nasty.

Nothing exciting going on here. We're pottering round the house doing the usual boring domestic stuff although my sister is popping in this morning to see us which will be nice as she'll entertain DS and have a natter with me.

SMS and LMN I was just thinking this morning how I can go about getting DH to help with feeds tonight whilst getting us both a decent amount of sleep. DH usually does the late after I've gone to bed around 8.30pm /9pm and then I do the night feeds. She tends to wake around 2.15am/2.30 still and then 5-6am. So I thought if he does the late and first night and then I do the 5ish and he lies in til whenever he likes, I'll technically get 8-9 hours sleep and so will he (he'll get up around 10ish..) - sounds like a good deal to me although I can imagine the welcome it'll get .

Off to see my lovely NCT friends this afternoon - we always do a Friday and whoever is around turns up. There are 6 of us but as 5 of us now have no 2 we are 6 toddlers and 5 babies !...None of us have houses which are quite big enough for that amount of activity but we just about manage - I don't enjoy clearing up the debris afterwards but it's always a nice end to the week.

DD was a right whingebag all day yesterday. Really fussy in between feeds and sleep. Maybe it's one of those 6/7 week blips or p'raps she was just having a bad day. I'm hoping today might be a bit better but she woke screaming until I fished a man size bogey out of her nose clearly upsetting her. She's waking up soon so unless I get a shower now DS and I will still be in my pj's when sister arrives.

Byee for now. Have a good friday everyone.

ranirani · 13/03/2009 10:12

thanks you all 4 congrts, labour WAS an ordeal for me; i got some really annoying agency midwife with stupidiest student i have ever met! the comments she made! when my blood pressure shot up like anything , student cal;led a doctor to check up on me. half an hour later: no doctor, no repeat check on BP. when after half an hour of waiting i NICELY asked her when doctors is coming, the response i got was : they know about you, you are not the only woman in labour on the ward. can you belive it? i just ignored her. and MW was nowhere to be seen when i was on 8 cm and epidural wore off, she was suppose to top up in time because i was on syntocin ( although went into labour naturally inn the beginning it did not progress much ). whe my dh went to find her, she was sitting drinking tea, although she came in for work only 2 hours ago! i had to have a go at her, luckily for me the main doctor was passing by, heard me going off hysterically, immedately sent those 2 out and gave me brilliant MW.

but it is all worth it in the end.

ranirani · 13/03/2009 10:26

rosie posie, just catching up with your sleep thing. my in laws suggested light swaddling, because then they feel cozy n more likely to fall asleep: works 4 me!
my DH is SUPER SUPPORT ; he takes care of Pavana in the evening till 1 am last feed n puts him to sleep in the cot in my room. i go to sleep 10 (ideaklly ) so next time he wakes up at 3-4 in the morning i already have 4-5 sometimes 6 hours of full sleep. it is a life savier, this system otherwise i would go nuts . sayinmg that we both are self employed so easier for us because DH can sleep till 10-11 am next morning.

jenniferturkington · 13/03/2009 10:39

morning all, have tried to catch up but I keep forgetting who has said what
raisin and tbm I am tandeming with my 21 month old DS. It has been quite a challenge so far I have to admit! I suffered with massive over supply with DS which caused all sorts of provlems which lasted a good 12 weeks. This time I have had huge over supply again but was armed with the info to know how to avoid some of the associated problems. However, I'm still getting engorged and blocked ducts. DS is also feeding a lot more than just before baby arrived ( this is helping with engorgement but of course increasing demand/supply so not sure what to do there!). On the plus side, baby seems to be able to deal with the jets of milk much better than ds ever could! She rarely feeds for longer than 10 mins and is piling on a pound a week so far- very efficient I guess!

sms and lmn, I too wonder about whether to do a dream feed or not. Actually, dd is really difficult to feed when sleepy- with ds I just had to be within a foot of him and he would try to latch on in his sleep but dd seems to need to be awake. This has meant that I am tending to leave her asleep and just put up with 2 night feeds (1 ish and 4 ish) rather than wake her at 11 and then just feed her at 3ish.

Does anyone have a very noisy sleeper? DD makes loud grunts and groans for at least an hour after putting her down. I assume it's wind but despite her looking (and sounding) uncomfortable, it doesn't seem to wake her so I just leave her Is it worth giving anything for wind? She generally suffers quite badly and takes ages to burp.

Hope you are all having a good Friday, I'm just hoping it doesn't rain later so I can walk my toddler in the park (someone should offer toddler walking services instead of dog walking!).

dinkystinky · 13/03/2009 12:11

Morning all. Nice to see you on TBM (glad the move is happening in a nice orderly manner) and JenniferT. JenniferT - my DS2 is a very noisy baby when he sleeps at night (was so loud last night he woke DH in the spare bedroom at the back of the house with the doors closed); he is asleep though and I've tried winding him while he's asleep and he still makes those noises, so I've just decided to live with it. We also dont do dream feeds - he has a feed at around 9.30ish, another at 1 and another sometime between 4 and 5 then wakes up ravenous at 7ish and kips (silently of course as I need to be up with his big brother) for another couple of hours after that feed...

Ranirani - if you can face it you should complain to PALS about the midwives you had as that is unacceptable behaviour (especially with a first time mother who is anxious) and they'll keep using the crap agency midwife unless people complain... Glad your DH is being a star though.

Spotty - I hope for your sake the SPD wont last for 2 years too.

Herbgarden - have a nice time today with your NCT friends; that's such a nice thing to do meeting up each week. There are only 2 of my NCT friends still in London (and one lives down the road from me) and we only manage to meet up with our little ones once every 4 months or so and for the little ones' birthdays. You put me to shame.

SMS - I also got rid of all my post DS1 clothes when I went back to work, which is why I'm in nice stretchy sports gear most of the time. Am looking forward to getting the all clear at the 6 week check so I can start doing pilates again and seeing my personal trainer again in the evening while the boys are sleeping.

Thanks for well wishes for DH - would certainly be nice to have him well again soon!

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Pempe · 13/03/2009 12:57

Just wanted to check - does anyone else have a 5, 6 or 7 week old baby feeding reeeallly often? Harry is still feeding every 3 hours or so, day and night. I'm reading about some of you with babies going 5 or 6 hours between feeds and I am wondering if we're doing ok... (first baby, worry about everything...)

rosieposey · 13/03/2009 13:09

Afternoon all

Congratulations to you Ranirani - really sorry to hear you had such a rubbish time though - i second what dinky said about approaching PALS though as if you dont complain nothing will get done - am really sorry you had to go through that though My hubby is super too bless him - even if he has to get up for work (6.45) he will do at least one feed either around 2 is or 5 ish but i sleep really badly and whatever room in the house i slept in i would wake up when baby does i reckon so i just sleep with lo and hubby and doze when DH is doing the feed.

Same old same old here - i just think that Milo is a fussy bubs and thats it really. Have been co sleeping for the last two nights with him and tbh it hasnt really made that much difference except perhaps that he has settled a tad sooner than he would have done in his basinette. Im waiting on getting a snuzi baby alarm ( it should be here by Monday hopefully ) as it will work independently as it attaches to his nappy but im fairly satisfied that we are doing all we can to ensure he is sleeping safely.

He is also being swaddled but i think he just hates it really as he fights against it for at least five minutes after i have done it - will stick with it for another week or so and see how we get on.

TBM If im honest i do give Milo his dummy primarily because of the advice on SIDS. I know there was a bit of a hoo ha about sponsorship from MAM but Growbag also sponsor the SIDS site and no one bats an eyelid - i guess they have to get their money from somewhere for research and suchlike. I also use a fan in our room since it emerged about the incedence of cot death being reduced by up to 70 percent with a fan in your room with your baby - it does kind of make sense to me as well since the buildup of carbon dioxide would technically not help rouse a sleepy baby if they had an episode of sleep apnea.

SMS and LMN im with you on staying up late too - never can make up my mind if i should stay up till 11 ish or if im THAT tired if i should get a couple of hours in and go to bed at 9ish but i always end up staying up-trouble with that is that i always end up with only about 4 -5 hours sleep ... i have no idea how Margret Thatcher did it!

Dinky sorry your DH is poorly ... Summers coming and hopefully we can all kiss goodbye to the dreaded lurgy!

Hope everyone is having a good Friday - yay its Friday that is ALWAYS a good thing!

mumoverseas · 13/03/2009 13:23

Pempe, Harrison is nearly 5 weeks and is still feeding around every 3 hours too think the longest he has managed was just under 4 hours but that was a one off. Don't forget they only have little bellies when they are this small so hopefully in a few more weeks they will be able to take more milk and sleep longer (we need a wishful thinking emotcion)

Rosie, Friday is not a good thing here (well not Friday pm as its our Sunday so DH back to work tomorrow

MarkStretch · 13/03/2009 13:23

Pempe- F is feeding every 2 hours at the mo, throught the night too. He has done 4 hrs but only on 2 occassions. Don't worry

MarkStretch · 13/03/2009 13:24

oh and he has a vibrating leg too, and even an arm sometimes

rosieposey · 13/03/2009 13:27

Oh rubbishness MOS

mumoverseas · 13/03/2009 13:28

and he is flying back to the UK tomorrow night til Thursday leaving me alone with 3 children (need a sh**, I can't cope emotion)

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