jan 09; dream feeds, sod mummy's needs, shes on her knees...the one where it all starts to get better (hopefully)!

[fourlittlefeet]

here we are; a bit early, but one more task done. tick

hi sparkle
that was some night you had, i am sorry.

what i do with my LO is to give him as much milk as possible during the day. his first feed is at 7am, then 11am, then 3pm, then he gets extra hungry and needs a top up feed at 5pm, then again at 7pm. i think the extra feed at 5pm helps him go longer at night. after 7pm, he usually has 4 oz at around mid night or later. then maybe a couple of ounces at 5am.

hope it works for you. every baby is different, that is what is so frustrating!

can your OH help you with one of the night feeds?

Hello, just a quick stop by,

elkiedee, i go to bed about 9.30pm although don't go to sleep until Finley is settled which can take half an hour to an hour. I want to give him a 6oz feed at 10pm, but it never works out that way for some reason and he is usually crying for a feed anywhere between 7.30pm and 9pm. Everyday i think, right today i am going to feed him at certain times during the day but sometimes when i try and feed him at that time, he doesn't want it or only takes a little bit because he isn't hungry. That then screws up my plans because if he has a feed at say 3-4pm, he will be hungry at 7-8pm which is always too early for that to be his last feed of the day. I am stuck at the moment.

booksgalore, no i am not on PND watch. I filled in that question sheet for it and it didn't show i had PND.

bracken had injections all ok is now asleep 2!!
she weighs 10lbs now started on 75th centile is now on 25th cant help worrying her sister dropped loads from 265th centile 2 under bottom red one

books I found toddler taming useful too, just at reminding me that ds is really still small and is just trying to get his needs met as best he can. I've got the '3 socks..no hairbrush' book about having 2 chidren (whatever it's called, do you know the one I mean?) and though it's a bit depressing (or realistic!) it is helpful too, it's helped me change my expectations, of myself, and ds, and of this whole time - before I kept thinking - I am a bad mum if I'm stressed by this, if I am sometimes wanting to escape and not enjoying every minute.. a really interesting bit of that talks about how there is a tendency in parents to think their older child is/should be more capable than s/he is, and I can see that in us, we have suddenly been expecting ds to be more independent and able to do things for himself, no wonder he is reminding us that he is only just 2!!

Has your activities book given you any good ideas yet? I need grade A ideas too!!

oh bum, have to go, baby gym has lost it's appeal..

Oh Dog!! Breathe breathe breathe. Have you a garden? Just pitch them out and tell them to dig a hole or something. Anything to break the tension.

I hear ya!! It's not your fault. Just say bollocks to today and let it go. Pick your battles [am ignoring dd1 who is splashing in sink and will need full clothes change no doubt] and leave them to it for today. Bless you.

Hope your day gets better dog.

Baby plus other children really does sound difficult - I don't have any experience so can't offer any wisdom I'm afraid, but I'm sure just the fact that you are all trying to do your best means that you are all great mums... and the old advice, take one day at a time, must apply here too?!

On a positive note, LO just gave me the most MASSIVE smile I have ever had from him.

Off to pick up my car from the garage. Managed to have big argument with my Dad who was supposed to be helping me out today, with the result - no help. Can't wait for OH to get back from Germany. I feel like a single Mum.

dog hang in there - it is 5pm already and they'll both be in bed before you know it. however fab a mum you are, toddlers will play you up and push you - it doesn't mean you're a bad mum at all, neither does feeling like you've had enough. feel for you x

5pm. I hadn't realised it was so late. Not long now.....it is ok to count down to bedtime? Yes? We ALL do that right?

one day ds will find himself in his jammies not long after lunch..

Yep Tree - we do we've even been known to high five as we shut the door on DD's bedroom at night [terrible mother emoticon]

Has anyone put the clock forward? dd1 can tell the time and I tell ye, it could be the answer.

This colic reminds me of pregnancy, remember how the non sleepers amongst us dreaded bed times? I do now, bed is a big uncomfy mess that I can't lie down in for feeding burping and leaping in and out of.

LOL Spink at that idea. Don't think it would work for ds though, he knows it's time to go up and have his bath then go to bed when CBeebies finishes at 7. I feel terrible having a TV addict before the age of 2.

Oh Dog, you sound like me when DS2 was born. I remember vividly sitting in floods of tears when I'd tried to do something nice for DD1 and he'd ended up having a huge meltdown and me making it worse by losing my temper bigtime. I was convinced I was the worst Mum in the world and had secret plans to catch the first bus that came along, then the next and the next, until I arrived at some out of the way coastal town where I would rent a bedsit and disappear from view.

See you are totally normal. Well as normal as me anyway. OK so maybe I'm not the most shining example, but honestly we all feel like that sometimes and no matter how well behaved the newest family member is it is really physically and emotionally taxing having a baby in the house.

Believe me, your children will have loads of special memories of their childhood and a few weeks of disruption won't be what they remember when they look back.

Please try and be kinder to yourself. You really really need a break from things. Asking for help does not make you a failure, we all need help and support it's just not possible to be all things to all people all the time.

Books- I second toddler taming, went out an dbought it in a despairing moment a few weeks ago and its a really good book. Its just really logical and sensible and doesn't really call for any drastic measures to get things back on track iyswim.

mssparkle- hope you have a better night. Can't offer any advice re: milk, dd just went through the night without much waking and DS is a different kettle of fish completely and am in a similar situation to you..up every 2/3 hours...

Elkie- DD currently realises its bedtime at 7 when cbeebies finishes too, thank goodness for cbeebies is all I say It saves my sanity come 6.30 pm.

Had much better toddlers group today, there are quite a few to chose from round here and they are pretty friendly. I guess all these places get a bit cliquey, but DD loves them and they burn up a lot of her energy and she's started to enjoy playing with other kids too. Not exactly much fun for mummy day in day out though.

Spent the afternoon visiting my elderly dad and sat in the suffolk sunshine in his garden, ds rolled about on a rug on the grass, it was v. pleasant- felt like summer.

Am gearin myself up for another night of 2/3 hourly feeding, I just keep telling myself we were lucky with DD and all this is perfectly normal for a 4 week old baby. Will try and really tank him up at 11 feed and cross my fingers. I think its his wind that wakes him. With DS farting away on one side and dp snoring on the other I'm really living the dream.

Tree- How have you managed to raise a DD who didn't have tantrums? Whats your secret? Share it pleassssseeeeeee

Dog- Hope tomorrow is a better day for you

I'm going to check out a vintage clothing shop tomorrow morning to see if there are any potential wedding style dresses to suit my meagre budget...was thinking 50's retro sorta thing, then DS has osteo again...

All is quiet , gonna have a cup of tea (I can pretty much guarantee that the minute I sit down to drink it something will happen that will require my attention...)

Gonna

You could come stay with me Moose, sounds like my town!

Sound advice. Am guilt ridded [again] as dd1 is at grans. Dunno why that would make me feel guilty. Habbit I suppose. Tut.

Thanks Tree but have gotten over that particular fantasy now. I did realise eventually that noone would be better off without me, it would devastate my kids (who for some reason love me even though I am often crap and shouty) and DH would never survive looking after them alone. These days I have lowered my sights to escaping for a nice bubble bath and some chocolate! (When I finish breastfeeding that particular fantasy will include red wine!)

If your DD is anything at all like my kids, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about (actually, you have nothing to feel guilty about anyway) they shoot off to Grandma's without so much as a backwards glance. They love going to her house and being spoiled. Actually, I think I cease to exist for them while they are at Grandmas house, as long as I am not gone for longer than 48 hrs (thats when DS2 gets homesick - for his toys you understand, not for me!)

Guilt is just a unavoidable part of being a Mum. I think it comes from a special part of your brain that's activated during pregnancy and remains active for the rest of your life. We even feel guilty about feeling guilty fgs!

Oh well, the offers there. I'd buy you a stick of rock to cheer you up!

I'm a Catholic too so knackered whichever way you look at it.

Wow. So many posts!

Tree- i don't think my boobs will fit into ANY of my dresses. Wearing a 34 F at the moment!! Not looking forwards to the envitable sag once stop feeding though! Although i VERY wisely told OH (who wants four children ) that he has to put body back into pre preg shape once had all babies. So Boob uplift on books me reckons... although in reality, the idea of surgery- scary!

Anyone else not got going on the bedroom action? We have done "stuff" but not penetrative sex yet. Rather scared, tired, just not got round to it etc.

Ok! Ok! Don't get me started on bra sizes, I have no sympathy for anyone unless they can beat my 34JJ!

Ray My DH knows he doesn't get any action in the bedroom for at least 6 months after each baby. He's not so much happy about it - more sort of resigned, poor chap! It was a lot longer after DS1 because of the PND and the first time we did it I got pregnant with DS2!

Wore DD to the school in my moby wrap today and you would think I was a two headed monster for all the strange looks I got. One Mum came over and asked me if I'd stuffed poor DD down my top! She said she'd never seen anything like it before and so assumed I must had just put her inside a cross over top!

rofl at moose and your 'non traditional' parenting. I had other mum go funny colour when saw dd2 in a big baggy cut4cloth wrap over vest.

40H ish here - so I beat Moose for being larger in the overall scheme of things. I still maintain I have a 36 back. Harumph.

Had comedy thought re breastfeeding. When feeding dd1 I had to lie her on a pillow to reach nipple height. No such need with dd2.

Oh how I laughed....

to all having DC's with lots of waking in the night lately, the last two nights DD has been absolutely restless and grazing all night. this is very unusual for her. perhaps its a growth spirt. we've had a eureka moment. she has discovered her dad and i've been out twice to the shop by myself. yipee.

oh... i meant to add to the up all night discussion that i thought there was something in the air or planet alignment.

Okay okay, you all win, i suddenly feel SMALL chested... but, well, not really. Does anyone else feel like the massive hooters make all clothes hang so badly that you look bigger than you actually are!?!?

Beautiful day again today. Off to an outlet shopping place with a good friend of mine.