jan 09; dream feeds, sod mummy's needs, shes on her knees...the one where it all starts to get better (hopefully)!

[fourlittlefeet]

here we are; a bit early, but one more task done. tick

Lenni- a little more south than that even!

On the tantrum front- DD is better on the days when I spend less time holding ds, and more time with her... however, I am lucky in that dd is at nursery all day, so I get to spend plenty of time with ds, but she just doesn't see it! Is there any chance of getting a day or 2 of nursery for your toddler? I appreciate that you can't just abandon the baby for a whole day- but it is easier just ignoring baby focussing on your toddler for a few hours morning and evening.

Hello all! Need to catch up as toddler and baby life keeping me off the net (anytime I pull out the PC DD wants to watch the Jungle book, which is my never fail bribe when I want her to do something!)

very tired too. H is really gorgeous and easy, DD lovely but tiring. Very funny as when she tantrums I say things like 'I'm sorry you are feeling angry' so now she'll stamp into a corner and declare 'I'm sulking'. Very cute!

Hope you are all well
xx

motherhood is certainly hard work i am finding it harder than i thought dd1 is 3.5years and very active and a handful she demands constant attention her being @ nursery 3 monrings a week really helps. bracken is a gem

miss sparkle, about the SMA for hungry babies, it did not work for either of my babies.

the only thing i can think of is to give your LO most of his daily requirement during the day, ie, from 7am to 7pm.

an estimate of how much he needs can be calculated by multiplying his weight by 150. so if he is 6kgs, then it is 6x150=900. divide 900 by 5, that gives 180, so if he feeds 5 times per 24 hours, then it is 180mls per feed. it is only an estimate.

this is what i try to do and most of the time it works. my LO is 9 weeks old today and he has his last feed at 7pm. and then has a midnight feed where he takes around 120mls and then a little one around 5am.

good luck!

i know what you mean about meeting other mums.

Hi ladies. Hope everyone had good day... another beautiful one here.

Left Esme with OH for first time today... went to consultation for Lazer hair removal that i'm having done. Was only gone about two hours (popped into sainsburys too) felt like something was missing the entire time i was out!!!!

Am meant to be leaving esme TWICE next week... on tuesday night our friends are taking us to seem lemar (their xmas present to us, not sure why lemar, not that i don't like him... just that i'm not fussed either way!) and deans mother is babysitting, and then on thursday night i'm having to do WAG duties The club is throwing a ball in aid of Breast Cancer, and as captains girlfriend the manager asked OH to get me to get a few of the girls togther. looks good on the club apparently. Yawn Yawn Yawn.

Hi all, thanks for the nice messages

EachPeach, i am lucky and live right on the south coast so the beach is on my door step practicaly!

MissJackson i am jealous your baby slept from 8pm until 5am I miss unbroken sleep, it's been too long...

LenniEd it sounds like you and i are in the same boat. I am hoping my dd will have calmed down by the time she is 3. I remember everyone saying when my dd was a baby that the first 3 months are the worst and they were right, things calmed down by then. Finley will be 3 months at Easter so that's what i am aiming for - just get to Easter!

heron22 you are talking foriegn to me! I am not old but i work in pounds and ounzes Finley is 13lb now (9lb 8 when born) So i will work that out and se how much he should having

heron22 i just worked out that 13 pounds is actually 6kg so i just went by your calculations. It says he should be having just over 6 oz per feed.

Evening all!

Have only skip read the thread so apologies if I miss anyone out.

First of all Tree and MsSparkle sorry you are both having such a rough time. Hope you both manage to get some respite soon.

Lennied, I'm not sure of the name of the chip shop in Lytham. Its an award winning one with a restaurant attached just opposite the library and community centre. Its on the corner of a side street that leads straight out onto the green/promenade.

hkz I had torticollis brought on by an aerobics injury (don't ask! ). I had it for years and it was one of the most painful things I've ever had, not to mention the frustration of not being able to move my head. It used to flare up when I got overtired or stressed and on one particularly memorable occasion it caused all the muscles in my left arm and down my back to my waist on my left side to spasm so that my whole torso was twisted! You can be born with a slightly different form of torticollis and/or it can be caused during birth. Osteopathy not only worked for me, but stopped the flare ups completely and after having them for 15 years I have now not had one for nearly 5! If I'm right, I understand that if you are born with it osteopathy wouldn't necessarily work as the muscles on one side are physically shorter rather than just in spasm. I think if this is the case a lot can be done with pysiotherapy slowly working to lengthen the muscles.

DD had her eight week check and immunisations today. It took 2 hours at the clinic because they were so slack and slow! She was really good and only cried for a minute, but has been really upset and crying this evening which is so unlike her. She seems to just want to be held and cuddled all the time and her temp is slightly up. They said to give her a 2.5 ml dose of calpol if her temp was raised, so have done that and the she slept through her last feed. I don't really want to wake her though, as every time she wakes up she seems to get really distressed and cries inconsolably. Neither of the boys ever reacted to their jabs, so this is all new to me, am wondering if its because she has had more immunisations in one go. (I think it used to be just one injection when I took DS2.) Alternatively, it could possibly be because she already had a cold, although she didn't have a temperature and seemed fine in herself this morning.

I feel like a horrible mean Mummy for letting them do it to her.

On a slightly happier note, both the boys' teachers have told me that they have significantly improved over the last week or so. So I'm really pleased that all my efforts have been worthwhile. DD2 in particular has made huge strides in catching up with his classwork. He has even moved up a reading scheme level.

ms.sparkle and lennied sorry to hear it is tough right now. i hear it passes.

i second the calengula oil too for dry and flakey skin.

DD and i went for our first playdate today and it was at the pool. swimming was a first too. she loved it! they have these pieces of foam cut out like boats with the middle cut out and a little seat to prop your infant up in and tug them around the pool. the tots pool was very cool too, like a maze with a jungle gym and slide. i think i may have enjoyed it more. i think we are going to go every week and DH will come too (now that hockey is over for the season and soccor is only one day a week) so we each can switch it up and sauna/steam/hot tub it. ooooohhhhhhh........ i can't wait. is it possible that i have just gone over the deep end, no pun intended. who care's! its fun over here!

Esme not herself this evening, usually goes down at 7, and don't hear from her again until i wake and feed her when i'm going to bed, but been waking up every 10 mins or so is finally asleep again now. Very unlike her, wondering if shes coming down with something?!?

Moose- Thanks for that. The osteo didn't say what he thought it was, but thought it might have been cause during birthing. He manipulated Ds's back and neck a little and he is far less tense. The difference is pretty amazing, he's turning his head to both sides now a lot more rather than favouring the right completely. Am taking him again on Thursday and will ask him about Torticollis.
Glad the DSs are doing well

Too completely exhausted to catch up on whole post. DD is full of beans and tantrums (she's not even 2 til next month!) and DS is still waking at 2/3 hourly intervals in the night. DD slept a good 6 hour stretch at this stage so this is a bit of a shock to the system.

Trying to find wedding venue for august too... didn't realise how much organisation a wedding requires...especially when you are trying to do it for as little as possible!

Ms Sparkle- Hope you are haivng a better day. Having two los is exhausting and challenging and relentless! I just keep repeating the mantra 'Things can only get better'.... they will (fingers and everything else crossed) and then wandering to myself what on earth I was thinking..having 2 children under 2?!

Right...going to attempt an early night....

Oh...and I have to share this...
I took DD and baby to playgroup today, she normally goes with DP. She screamed all the way as she hates the P&T (and pushchairs in generally and being strapped in to anything) By the time we got there she was a snotty little mess and still screaming.
This particular playgroup is held at the salvation army hall and is full of old dears manning the coffee shop. So we got there and were instantly surrounded by old biddies, one of them pipped up and said "" Ohhh, she's never like this for her Daddy!"" (cue my blood boiling) While I was trying to ignore her and see to the now screaming baby, they persisted cooing over her and trying to feed her toast and give her drinks. They then gave her a drink which she spilt down her t-shirt. One old dear asked if I had a spare tshirt (of course I didn't) and tried to insist that I went home to change her in case she caught a cold and then looked at me like I was a devil mother when I said she would be fine.
Anyway...got that off my chest now...sorry for rant. Crazy old sally army ladies...

MsSparkle... I am about as far away from the beach as you can be in Britain
I miss getting up in the morning and trooping off to the beach if the weather is good as we did as a child.

chef- for pool... cannot contemplate taking 2 children swimming yet.

Morning,

Moose, great news that your boys are doing better at school My dd only had one injection two years ago but Finley had two yesterday too. I didn't know they had two now

hkz my dd was going alot longer at this stage too and so it's a big shock to the system for me too that Finley isn't. I know what you mean about fuss pot oldies, i stopped going to a group because the old biddies sweet old ladies a royal pain in the ass!

Had a bad night over here! Finley had a feed at half 8 last night and took a while to have it. He went down at 9.30pm and then was awake again at 12.30am. Why is it when you go and make a 4oz bottle because he has only been "snacking" on 2/3oz during night, do they decide they are going to drain the bottle meaning i end up back downstairs for another bottle? He finally went off again at 2am, yes 2am after taking 8oz in the end!

Then he was awake again at 4.15am for another fed and i got his back down by 5am. Then at 7am i have dd at her gate going "daddy,daddy" (daddy has gone to work) so i usser {sp?)) her back to bed and i think she was playing in there until ten to eight. Then i get up feeling like a zombie!

I put him on the hungry milk for yesterday but found he was actually feeding more often so i am just going to stick with the cow and gate first milk instead.

So today i am going to keep the little git angel up more and try and feed him up during the day!

Lots of posts! MsSparkle wow, that's a busy night - def sounds like a good idea to tank him up during the day - also I read somewhere that it helps with night sleeping if the baby gets exposed to as much daylight as possible during the day - I think that's what has helped Nye the last couple of nights as we have been outside in this glorious sunshine lots.

MM great news on the boys.

hkz I have no idea how you are going to find time to plan your wedding with 2 DC! But the planning is the fun bit!

ray I wish I had got my act together to do the laser hair removal thing last year - I had meant to do it before I got pregnant. Now I am out of London there is no chance really, although I guess they do it in Cardiff somewhere (an hour away!).

LO had another good night, thru from 8pm till 5.30am again, with another dream feed at 3am. Left me to have a lovely fun evening with my sister and 2 brothers - it's very rare that it's just the 4 of us with no partners, so we got to talk childhood memories all night long without boring anyone , had indian takeout and drank beer.

Am really loving all this socialising, and a little bit anxious about returning to the middle of nowhere...

God what a night.

First of all DD was really not good after her injections and wouldn't be put down or held by Daddy and had a temperature. Then she slept through a feed putting her 10.30 bottle back as she took her last feed from me at 10.30 instead of 8.30. She was really noisily snotty all night but managed to sleep through it. She finally had her bottle at 1.00 am and had to have more calpol as well as her little head was so hot.

When we finally got to bed after midnight, I'd just started to drift off and the flipping dog started freaking out again! She was pacing, whining and throwing herself at the living room door. DH went down and tried to deal with her but 10 minutes later she started again. This continued till 5.30 am when the valerian tincture finally kicked in and after being unable to find a cause for her behaviour I had to use a rattle bottle to stop her banging the door. (We have very intolerant dog hating neighbours as it is.)

I literally didn't sleep at all. She is lucky she is not either dead (strangled by me obviously) or en route for a delivery to the pound! It seems so unfair, not to mention frustrating when DD sleeps and yet I am still kept awake for hours on end. Haven't a clue what's bothering the dog, although she has always been highly strung. I have checked everything and can't find a thing wrong or unusual. I've even sat in the freezing cold kitchen for an hour in the middle of the night in case she is hearing something or (god forbid) we have a mouse - but nothing!

So I have just spent over 60 pounds, plus next day delivery costs, on more valerian tincture, scullcap and valerian tablets and a new dap collar and spray in the hope of calming her down. We are going to crate her tonight with a blanket over the crate as she feels more secure like that, but we don't usually keep crates up in the house as there isn't really room, so will have to put it up every night and down in the morning which is going to be a right pita.

To cap it all I was so exhausted I fell asleep after feeding DD at 7.30 so didn't take the boys to school, which is really frustrating as keeping to their normal routine was really starting to pay off.

Sorry for the rant, needed to get it off my chest. Am going to feed DD then try and get some sleep now.

morning busy busy

bracken has her 1st injections today dh coming
got 2 go bracken has just done poo n.o 2 of the day

Hello people.

Loads going on. sorry to hear about crazy dog behaviour moose - think I'd totally spit my dummy if were you.

Good luck for injections tink, ours on fri.

Have had d&v and a temp, after chiropractor on monday. So thats made me feel extra guilty as have hardly seen dd1 this week.
Chiro re aligned my sacrum which feels better, and released neck. dd1, dd2 and i all had the exact same tension in the same place. Back Fri for abdominal release on newbie dd2, it seemed to have an effect before. resulted in spinach poo though!

Poor dd2 still very tearful and needy and insecure. If only this dd2 was a bit less coliky, I honestly don't think we'd have had any reaction from dd1. Am very angry about this colic. Its all really full on here, so unlike our normal way of living. dd1 never even had a tantrum as a toddler, so to see her upset now is a big shock. Added into that dh out of house 6am till 6pm and you get the idea. Does anyone else feel like your doing nothing well enough? Everywhere I look there is a job half done or a kid half satisfied. PANTS!

hkz - sorry about the playgroup oldies. NOT helpful!!

Lord what a moaning post - Sorry!

Seems you like the pool Chefswife?

Ray - your life sounds so much more glam than mine! Sadly there would be no ball dress to accomodate these jugs of mine!? Least the milk in them keeps them afloat for time being.

morning all

moose, i'm amazed you didn't throw the pooch out for the night - but i do have a heart of stone when it comes to disruption of my sleep. apart from c, who has a temporary license...

tree, you poor thing. i hope the colic resolves itself soon, it's so horrible for everybody in the house...

so i am typing one handed with c sleeping on my lap as we have concluded that she is just not ready to sleep on her own and it just distresses her when we try to make her. we are just going to have to work on the sling (have a moby wrap) though she hasn't seemed keen so far.

Hi all

Sorry to hear so many of you are feeling stressed. Like EPPM, I've kept our toddler in childcare - I'm on maternity leave but get good maternity pay, I will go back probably at the beginning of November (39 weeks maternity, 1 of annual leave). I'm not quite sure what we would have done without that option, particularly given what happened in the first few weeks of C's arrival.

I think baby/toddler groups vary a lot in quality and how they're run - I don't think I'd enjoy the one you describe, hkz. I've been taking C to two very different favourites that I used to take his brother to. One started with Surestart and is run by my Council's only remaining employee whose job is specifically to run groups! It includes a singsong and occasional speakers and other activities, but there's time for a chat as well. The other is run by parents, we have a rota to open and lock up the building, and it's 0-3 so several people I met with ds1 are now bringing 2 dcs along. The opener up also is meant to make cups of tea and make newbies feel welcome, but generally everyone shares that responsibility a bit. It also has two rooms and outdoor space.

I'm quite shy and also C is a lot younger than most of the other babies out and about just now, and I do have moments of feeling excluded from a group of more established friends. But I think some of that is my paranoia.

We had a meet the new baby visit from a group of friends yesterday, two dads and their now teenage kids - the teenagers adore ds1 and played with him for a while until we decided we'd better start the bathtime/bedtime routine, about an hour later than normal but he went to sleep fairly quickly once he was in bed.

MsSparkle, I'm trying to remember what happened with ds1 (who was on formula very early on) as I'm bf this time round, using no routine whatsoever and surviving on rather minimal sleep. We never used hungry baby milk and I'm doubtful it would work, but at my mum's encouragement his bottles went to 8 oz very early (less than 3 months). What time do you go to bed yourself, and could you try to get him to take a fairly substantial feed just before then? I think he used to have just one big feed in the middle of the night, and now he sometimes sleeps through but sometimes has some milk (ordinary cows milk not formula since 1 year old) in the night - he doesn't always completely wake up and we've continued to feed to sleep although that's often not recommended by baby care manuals.

You lot are very busy on here!

Am perversely pleased to see others having no routine and no sleep. Makes me feel ever so slightly better about my own sleepless nights and general chaos! I swear, if I didn't have dd1 and ds to get to school I definately would spend most days in my pj's!

Had fist immunidations today. Didn't someone else say they were having theirs too? She was really good and is now fast alseep. I would be asleep too if it wasn't for the fact that I have the Neonatal Community Nurse coming over soon to take her blood.

I see there are lots of Norhterners here but does anyone live down south, near me in North Surrey?

YOu know your newborn [I still qualify I do I do I do, newborn till 3 months in my opinion] is a 'high needs child' when your 4yo runs in shouting 'she's asleep she's asleep, hurrah!