December 08 Supermums: We are all doing fine and our LOs love us!!

[kayzr]

Hello.

Trace I went with your idea!!

No neither of us have citizenship here.

SL could be piles, if it has been going on for a couple of weeks then get thee to the Dr, not nice (though I didn't know who to feel sorry for as I lay there at 9am with a finger up my bum me or the Dr!) I buried my head in the sand thinking it would clear up but it really, really didn't.

trace glad I'm not alone with the wind Also leaking wee, am becoming a fan of tena as I try to remember to squeeze and lift several times a day

jj he does put ds to bed!She just goes mental and it is driving me mad, she won't feed and just fusses and screams. She is still awake now, totally wired from being over tired.

Kayz you poor thing but really, new baby enough to deal with and if the dog is not settling then it is better to take it back so it can find a new family where it will settle and be loved without the stress.

Am ignoring the talk of MILs, mine is coming up to "help" on Wednesday as dh away a fair bit this coming week and I have no sitter for ds for while I'm at Rainbows. She infuriates me as she flaps about everything.

Argh dd screaming again. Arse. No idea what to do with her.

Hi,

Indith, have you thought about putting her to bed earlier I remember with DS1 he went through a stage of doing what your DD is doing. I had it in my head that bedtime had to be 7.30 then a friend said to me just put him to bed an hour earlier and it worked a treat did it for a wee while then slowly made it a bit later and now he goes down like a treat at 7.30.

Cant help with the piles sounds horrible but I can sympathise with the wind and vag yuckiness still all a bit random here too.

CAt some unmumsnetty (((hugs))) you are doing briliantly.

Kayz how long have you had your puppy for? Unfortunatley puppies are very similar to children and can become very unsettled with change. Our pup found the first few wks really difficult with DS2. You have to give the puppy lots of attention actually a bit more than before to help them adjust.

Arti that is one of the loveliest things I have ever read about you looking in on your family.

WG sympathies on the bonkers MIL.

Could try that Jam Not sure how much earlier I can do though as of course ds has his dinner.(plus I'm scared of being up at 6am if she goes down at 6, been spoiled for far too long by ds sleeping in til 7.30/8) [lazy]

She seems to be asleep, has gone past the 10 min mark which is generally a good sign. I hate leaving tiny ones to cry, it just isn't me, feels totally wrong and goes against all attachment parenting type instincts. Thing is the length of time she was squealing for is no longer than she gets left while I sort lunch for ds/nappy change etc so maybe I just need to get over it if that is what gets her to sleep. BUT, she won't bloody well feed after bath and I can't exactly put her down on an empty tummy.

jj my birth pool has sold to someone who wants to pick it up, so should be able to come to sleep clinic, see you there.
veggie to be fair to MIL she did see me struggling with BF, presumably when DS was having a growth spurt, as he was draining both breasts and I was having to compress them and go back and forwards to try and fill him up. She said she had similar at about 3 months and she started feeding with formula. That may have been the recommended thing back then, and i tried to say I was sure my boobs would catch up with demand but she wouldn't quite believe it. And he NEVER does that now, so she will see when I go and see her in a couple of weeks (unless he has another growth spurt, would be sods law)
Oh and jj my friends baby is BF, and she definitely does sleep through the night. She is big though (90th percentile) I am just jealous really, as she is not smug about it, or if I think she is it is all in my head . And the other thing that annoys me about it is that I said to DH that I DID NOT want to do GF, and so now that my friend's baby is so good, he attributes it to GF, not good luck (not that I am saying that GF doesn't work at all, just that there must be a lot of luck involved too)

Oh thanks Indith for the info on piles, typically just as I reveal embarrassing thing on MN, it seems to be massively better.
PS JJ your joke made me laugh!!

arti - hope you are feeling better and the nips get a bit of a rest

supercat - let us know how tonight goes

sl - ouch re: your MIL - VG is right, there's a lot going on there which she is taking out on you - ditto my situation, i think

indith - ouch ouch ouch

and for any of you in north london, here's the link to the north london meet:
north london meet up

SL out of interest how much did you get for the pool if you don't mind me asking. Are you going to the north London meet up? Might pick your brains on selling on eBay, I think I need to start doing that, not just for some spare cash but also to get rid of some crap that we've got in the basement.

DS asleep (1130 again!) but why am I still up - should sleep really... I can't get him to go any longer than 3 hours between feeds during the day - at about 2hrs45 he screams bloody murder if there isn't a boob or bottle in sight there was a time he would go 4 - not any more....

Kimberley I didn't know that your husband / parter wasn't British. Do you or him have ILR status (Indefinite Leave to remain - sort of like a green card I spose) in the UK? if so you can get a British passport for LO within 2 weeks. If not, I guess it's the US route which sounds long... I have a Green card and got a re-entry permit when I started working over here, and to get that I remember waiting HOURS in line outside the US Embassy - somewhere near Marble Arch? I was an all day thing - I remember asking someone to hold my place in line so I could get food and go to the toilet!! yuk I'll have to go back again soon to do that again probably..... Hope you don't have to go to the same place - I'm sure US citizens get a faster track!
Kayz what kind of puppy is it? Sorry to hear you are having trouble - our dog was way to curious / jealous until about 3 weeks ago but has settled now with him. Hope it works out and if it doesn't work and has to go back it's probably best for both...... how long have you had it?

Veggie it sold for 64 quid which is good going from looking at similar things. I am not an expert though it is the first big thing I have sold on eBay. The only other thing I sold was an old computer chair I wanted to get rid of that sold for 99p!

We've only had her since Friday. That is why I feel so bad. She is a cross breed but the rescue thought she has Staffie in here.

I am so bloody useless.

We've decided to let the rescue take her back. DS1 is too young to understand not to chase her around and wind her up. I think he is ok with my mums dogs because they just ignore him but she just snaps at him.

I hope you have all had good weekends. We have more snow!!

Me post alert<

1. Took DDs out yesterday for five hours so (D)H could do his marking. Got home to find he (a) hadn't finished and (b) hadn't done any bits around the house either - eg bin out, empty washing machine, put DD1's mattress back on (I'd had to disinfect it as she had an accident the night before)

1. (D)H then took girls out for one hour so I could have some "me" time. Found myself about to do the bits in (1) above but resisted. Before taking them out I noticed DD2's nappy needed changing and asked him if he could do it. He got poo on his hand so asked me to take over part-way through ! I refused.

1. He just. doesn't. get. it. Who takes over when I'm here on my own day after day?

In that "babyproofing your marriage" book it suggests going away for a whole weekend and leaving them to it, so they get a real idea of what it's like. How do you do that if you're breastfeeding? I am very very very tempted (though I would miss my DDs hugely).

Any thoughts?

Oh... and while I'm on the subject... that book also says about how women revert a bit to type after babies are born - ie getting all perfectionist and protective of their offspring, whereas men step up on the 'providing' front. That would be fine (though I balk at such sweeping gender generalisations), but my (D)H told me yesterday he isn't going to apply to cross the pay threshold (he's a teacher) because he knows he won't get it - he's had several "unsatisfactory" lesson observations in the past year and a disciplinary so it's more likely he will lose his job than anything. So he doesn't provide, and he doesn't do childcare.

So I'm left desperate to get that promotion I was rejected for - just so he can give up work and sit around on his lazy ass all day.

I AM SO FED UP. FED UP OF BEING THE PRIMARY CARER. FED UP OF 24/7 BABYCARE. FED UP OF BEING THE PRIMARY BREADWINNER.

Oh well. Guess I should just suck it up. Thank God for a lunch date with Sybil today!(poor woman won't know what's hit her!)

Verso sorry to judge your DH like this but I don't know that he would get it after a weekend. DH used to look after ds for 8hrs sometimes while I did the occassional
shift and I used to get home to a complete mess but at least he used to say that it is hard and he had no idea how I do it and keep the house tidy. So if your DH can't work it out from the occassional session looking after them or even himself, a weekend isn't going to do it, although it would be a nice break for you.

verso could your DH be depressed? AS it doesn't sound like he is very motivated in any parts of his life? It sounds difficult because if he's not doing too well at his job then nagging him may make him feel worse. Not that I am defending him as he sounds infuriating but just sounds like he is currently being lazy in every part of life! (I know he has health problems but going by what you have said he should still be able to do stuff)

I don't BELIEVE it!! DS has not done a poo for 2 days. I am about to go out. I think he's just done a poo!! It will be enormous. ARgh!! HE ALWAYS does this.

Me and DH have been calling it "Pass the Bomb" all weekend, as we thinks it's like russian roulette every time you change him whether you're going to get the poo. Just my luck!

Yes, I think he is depressed, SL. I think it would be understandable for him to be, really, given his illness, but he denies that the MS is a problem so we can't discuss it. I guess classic denial, really - which again is understandable - but I'm no psychotherapist and can't make it better for him. He has to recognise there's a problem, which he doesn't . Just gets very very defensive if I ask him to help with anything. I think he thinks I have it very easy being at home all day .

Missing my job as well, if I'm honest. DD2 is adorable and smiley and fab (when not growth spurting that is!), but I really find staying at home with a small baby very draining. I wish I could get out and about the way ladyT does. I posted on another thread about babysitting overnight as DH and I haven't had a night to ourselves since DD1 was born in 2005, which is probably part of the problem - would love to have some grown up child free time occasionally.

Sorry. I sound like such a spoilt bitch I know. Just feeling very sorry for myself today!

Oh Verso that sounds so hard. I really feel for you. I hope you have a fab lunch with Sybil. And you don't need to feel bad about missing your job. Please don't be hard on yourself. I know you are fed up with very good reason and that you've been down the pnd route before so you don't need telling, but please do speak to HV or GP if you feel it's appropriate. I wish your DH could see all your amazing effort and be more supportive. Don't suppose you could convince him to talk to GP about motivation, mood etc? My DH would have to be dying to see a GP, but strangely only needs to sneeze to take a day off work! Really hope things turn around soon. Could you go for the overnight babysitter idea?

Saw an advert yesterday (maybe for Littlewoods?) that said " you can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl" and it made me think of LadyT!

Phoebe is still mega snotty and sounds very piglet-like! Not too poorly with it though, although her feeds have shrunk to about 3 mins each so my boobs are getting lumpy. I expressed this morning so they don't get sore - do you think that's the right thing to do or will I mess up my supply?

She had her baby check (passed!) and her jabs finally! She screamed when they jabbed her but soon quietened down when I shoved a nipple in her mouth, and she's been asleep ever since (an hour now...). We had another snotful wakeful night last night so she probably has some catching up to do. Poor lamb.

Lucy is having her first ever school dinner today and I'm all excited about it and can't wait to hear what she thought of it...I really need to occupy my mind a bit more!

Verso I hope you have had a nice time with Sybil. I am really sorry your (D)H is being a pain. I hope you manage to get an overnight babysitter, I do think maybe you need it.

Trace DS2 has his check and jabs on Wednesday, I must say I am dreading it. I hate needles and I really struggle with it so DH has to come with me so he can hold DS2 while they get done.

kayz i'm a needle phobic - just returned from 8 week check - just told them and there was 2 of there anyway and so i sat in the adjoining room! He was more brave than me! Hoping no fever sets in now.... His weight was 25th centile but they weren'too worried but want me to attend clinic in a couple of weeks.... wondering if his weight dropped when had a cold and was fussy eating

Hello girls

Where is our Supercat today? Hanging in there, I hope. Soothing vibes also to Indith and anyone else having a chequered time at the moment.

Oh Verso, I hope you have had a nice lunch with Syb. I really hope you can find some babysitting help. You really need a break, and some time with your DH that isn't centred around the girls and the flashpoints that that throws up. As for going away for a weekend, why not book yourself a spa treat at the Sanctuary in Covent Garden or something for a day? As for the tidying up and stuff, I find the brisk and non-naggy "Ooh, would you mind awfully just doing x whilst I do y" tack works in our house. Even though I sometimes feel like saying "Why the *uck haven't haven't you done z?"

Trace, that's so true, although even I have had a bit too much of the city this weekend - well, not that I EVER tire of the city itself, but I do get cheesed off with the trackwork and general shenanigans on the trains

I was in on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and back every single night, so it was like commuting. It was knackering. Friday was a memorial and took place at a big London theatre. I could see people eyeing DD as I took her in and even though we were in there two hours, she just sat there on my lap watching, and occasionally kicking the chair in front. It contained Clive Anderson but he was very jolly about it . I took her to the reception after, and it was very busy in the bar but she just stayed in her sling, looking around. I was really proud of her. Perhaps she'll be a party girl. Unfortunately for DP she must've used up her goodness as apparently she screamed for Britain all day Saturday.

I was rubbish in my driving refresher lesson. I thought before it was because I was hugely pregnant, but nah, I think I am just not a natural driver. I went back to the country for a dinner party after and it took me over three hours to get there because of trouble with the trains (bearing in mind I'd had a mare getting to London in the first place). We took DD and we didn't get home until 2am, so it was all a bit much. One of the other guests there was a 62 yr old QC who was on his third or fourth wife, who had just had twin boys! And they were the QC's 8th and 9th children! How's that for energy?

Sunday was back to London for more driving, which was similarly grotty, both driving-wise and journey-wise. And today I took little O to meet the lady down the road who popped a card through my letterbox a few weeks ago, who has got a 20 month old boy and wants to be friends. I knew the name of her house and walked down her very long drive (never actually seen the house as it can't be seen from our lane) and was slightly perturbed to see a very large house, plus a bungalow thing and then another dwelling which looked like a garage with a flat on top. So which one was hers? I knocked on the bungalow, as that was where the car was parked, only to have her call me from the big house as I was knocking on the door of one of her 'outbuildings' Well, both of her 'outbuildings' are considerably bigger than our flat. But she was very pleasant. I shall persevere.

I do actually feel a bit low today - I really tried hard with the dieting and exercise last week and no results as yet. It's a bit demoralising, but off to moan about that on the fatties thread...

Kayz, sorry the doggie didn't work out, what a shame.

Gosh, how awful these fires are in Australia.

LadyT I feel exhausted just reading about what you've been up to! Don't know how you do it!

Well Phoebe slept a while after her jabs then woke up and SCREAMED and wouldn't feed or calm down for me at all. I felt so sad for her because it seemed like pain and she had real tears rolling down her cheeks . I think it was a combination of stuffy nose so lots of effort to feed, plus sore legs so whenever I got her into feeding position she just yelled louder. She eventually cried herself back to sleep and after another dose of paracetomol she perked up a little. I could only calm her by walking round with her back against my chest and my hand under her nappy, if you know what I mean, so that nothing was touching her thighs. She has still hardly fed today and still sounds like a piglet. My boobs are lumpy. Am aiming to have a bath tonight and let some milk drip out...nice!

...and although this is not exciting for anyone at all...Lucy really enjoyed her first school dinner

sybil and Verso - how was lunch? Mine was supernoodles!

Owwww!!! I have got an ulcer and it really bloody hurts!!!

The puppy is being picked up at about half 10 tomorrow morning, half of me is happy and the other half is sad.

Hello all

In case you are worried the bears aren't coming today because it's raining. Am seriously getting worried about this child's imagination/obsession. It's been days now and he's still banging on about it (Day 6 in the big bear house)...

Verso I hope you enjoyed lunch. Sounds like you're doing way more than your fair share. I do think some time together is a good idea though - it's so easy to become focussed on the house and the children and yada yada. Even if you can't get away can you get someone to babysit for DD1 for the evening and take DD2 out with you? Sitters are really good if you want a reliable professional babysitter.

I'm knackered this evening as I was out all day doing interviews for my charidee. Was fun to be out in the grown up world again but I missed DD - and DS - who did me a 'Mummy's back' dance when I got in. The kid's got some moves even if he is bear obsessed.

Lady T my exertions today nowhere near yours. Do take it easy if you can - nothing wrong with the odd day lying on the sofa...Am sorry driving was rubbish. Would it be easier to learn in the country? I passed my test in rural north yorkshire - 1 set of traffic lights, 1 roundabout and nothing but the odd tractor to worry about. Was complete disaster when I had to drive anywhere else but hey.

And Trace I'm pleased Lucy liked her dinner. And sorry for you that P is struggling with her jabs. It's heartbreaking - you know you've got to do it and it's in their best interests but still seems awful. And then just when you think it's out of the way around come another lot (she says cheerfully).

Better go - DH having been saintly with DCs all day is now sorting dinner and I'm letting DD sleep on me. Bad me on both counts. ZJ hope you enjoyed your birthday tea - DH had picked up that I was upset about my birthday ( has he been reading this?) and we had a nice brunch thing in East Dulwich and he bought me beautiful bangle and books from the DCs. Also cooked me steak and opened one of our 'occassion' bottles of wine. Like drinking sunshine. So all forgiven.

Kayz sorry about dog but from the sounds of it you did the right thing. you can always try again when they're a bit bigger.

Hi all. Sorry have been rubbish over the weekend....but trying to catch up.

Verso you sound like you really do need to take that weekend. Your DH does need a reality check, you aren't being unreasonable at all. It is hard. LadyT gives good advice but I would find it hard to be so....nice! (I think LadyT is going to be great with toddlers - all that positive reinforcement!!).

ladyT hectic hectic! You must be exhausted! LOL at the QC - my goodness he is indeed "energetic". We had a late night saturday too. DH's broker friend (who treats us to very nice dinners) came with his wife who is bonkers about small babies.

DH cooked (in the male way - he did the chateau briand - ie cooked some beef and I did everything else ). It was lovely but still at 1am they were still sat there and I kept thinking GO HOME I have to be up in 2 hours to feed L....they were lovely though (they have triplets (!!!) who are 11 - so know a thing or two about hectic chaildcare). I was so tired on sunday and still haven't caught up.

Those who are really windy - I am too. Really badly. No matter what I eat. is it soem side effect they don't tell you about re; b'fing. Oh - you will lose all your baby weight (er - no!!! I am actually fatter than a month ago..) and your babe will be a genius and you won't get breast cancer - oh and you will be embarassingly flatulent ALL THE TIme. Is it maybe the prolactin or something???

Kim sorry haven't had my 6 week check with Yinka. We rescheduled. But he will do an internal though.

Kayz sorry about the dog but its a hell of a lot to take on - you did the right thing. My DH mutters about dogs - and I tell him I have a limit on the number of incontinent beings in my house at any one time...

Trace so glad L enjoyed her school dinners! Its lovely they get a hot meal at school. My DD is already muttering about packed lunches after only 6 months in. Not on your nelly love!! Hope P gets rid of that cold.

WG hope your MiL has survived unscathed and that it is good having DH back.

Supercat how are you lovely? Sorry you and DH had a row. Maybe you are taking a break. We would miss you but do what is right for you.

Lal belated happy birthday sweetness! Hope it was good in the end. Grrr at the present /treat thing....

Summer LOL at the pass the bomb. L has done some spectatular poos recenently. They are just so LIQUID!!

Indith hope things are better for you, on every front....

better go. My supper is overcooking ....

LAL xposted. Good for your DH. Nothing less than you deserve!

I am looking at holidays for easter (we are now stuck to school holidays for first time...arrragh). Anyone been to Sharm in Egypt?? Need sun...(chances are we won't get to go, but I can dream...)