December 08 Supermums: We are all doing fine and our LOs love us!!

[kayzr]

Hello.

Trace I went with your idea!!

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Oh darling, I am so sorry that he is still so unsettled.

I don't have a routine as it doesn't really work on a baby when there are 2 others to manage at the same time. I tend to tackle each problem as it arises. If it means that we need to go out for a walk to settle one fo them, then that's what we do. Obviously if DH is here then we can share the work.

Is there someone who can help out this morning, even if only for an hour to give you a break? I'd offer but we are in deep S london so probably too far.

Huge love to you. It' must be so very hard.

X posts my love.

If DP with him, jump in the shower and have ten minutes of hot water to perk you up. If you are meeting friends for lunch, could you pop along to say hi and have a glass of wine theny come home for sleep? Socialising vcan often lift my mood, I find.

Don't worry about crying on DP. Small babies are jolly hard work and drain all of us hugely. It also takes months for your body to sort out all the hormonhes post birth,which adds to the emotions. You don't have to be life and soul of the party all the time - DP knows T is hard to settle \nd so can see the enerhy you put into him, which is so draining.

Excuse typos - am feeding.

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I would, as I reckon most, if not all, the alcohol will be out by then. Your body processes the alc at about a unit/hour, so you will have got through most of the alc in the second glass (assuming normal wine about 13%, likely to be between 1.5 and 3 units, depending on size of glass) by then. I would NEVER pump and dump because of booze, as it's too much effort. If you are sober enough to pump, you are sober enough to use the milk I reckon.

HTH.

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Kimberley are you trying to get a US passport or British? I can' remember your situation. I'm not sure on the uS one, but with the British I did the check and send at the Post Office on Thursday, and on Friday they called me to verify a few things! It sounded like they must have had none to do and started mine the minute the post arrived!! Anyway, I didn't ask them but I am assuming it would be back much faster than the 2 weeks they said. A freind got one in 6 days so maybe get thta one first?

Veggie I sent off the Aus Cit forms but realized I had to send my Aust passport and was told that I can def not travel into Australia on my British - and nor can ds if he has been granted Aus citizenship by that time!! I didn't think of that - anyway they said 10-15 days for that but if I need the passport back sooner they said I could call and they would send it back earlier or I can pick it up.
Tried the bath thing (sans spa jets!)- he loved it - I had the water level way higher than I'm spose to I'm sure, but had a foam bath support in there too so he was sort of on that and I was holding him at the same time - no explosive bum action, but I did get in right after a very impressive nappy change so I think I was safe for a bit!

Cat feeling sorry for you and with I knew the answer - I know what your DP means - I keep litening and comparing too, but for the times that I get all envious comparing - I also get some good tips which by trial and error sometimes have success with. I really hope he starts to settle down soon - I had the same thing it sounds - during the 2 weeks he had a cold and it was really hard - don't worry about the expressed milk / wine thing - after a couple of hours it'd be out- or such a small amout it won't matter - especially over that lengeth of time etc

I tknow what you mean about getting of other peoples babies habits - I have a friend who's baby has slept through for 8 hours since 8 weeks old - i was convinced she must have had Temazepam in her milk or something!!! But she was the one who convinced me about the miracle blanket, and she has since said a few more great tips. He gets very upset if he has a wet / dirty nappy but if I put REALLY thick layer of cream on him at night and then use Aloe Vera nappies it doesn't upset him as much, and I also decided thismorning when he woke at 0530 to leave him a bit longer... he muttered / squirmed about to himself for about 10 minutes and then fell back asleep until 0730!
I have tried however to bring the time forward putting him in the cot at night but it was not successful at all and didn't settle until midnight on the dot - he is so use to being put down at that time, but I will persevere I think, and bring it forward just gradually every couple of nights..

Cat - glad you had a fun evening but sorry about your night and your row. I hope you have a nice lunch to take your mind off things.

Kayz - i know a follow-on joke to your two faves. I hope it doesn't offend as its a little rude:
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no bollocks? Still no f**king idea.

Well I am ill. My throat is horribly sore. I have a fever. I ache all over and my breasts are agony with blocked ducts. Oh, and i have hurt my lower back. DD2 is very unsettled and won't sleep today. Most unlike her and appaling timing . This is the kind of situation when I miss my mum most. I wish I could call her and have her come running with tea, sympathy and the desire to take the DDs out.

Bloody hell - the child has been on the breast for nearly two hours now. She nods off but if i unlatch her she screams. I am stuck here feeling terrible, with increasing sore nips, unable to move and with only a laptop for company (dh has taken dd1 swimming so i can rest...). Arrggh she has never been so breast obsessed before. Why today DD2, why today???

Cat you poor thing, sounds rough. MN def a great place for support. Routines are hard, we are struggling with bedtime (more later!). Remember that if oyu decide to try something, talk about it first so you both know exactly what you are going to do and be prepared to do it for at least 3 nights. If no improvememnt by then it is probably not for you but you won't be abole to tell after just one night.

Veggie Munich is ace, I love it. Such a great city. Never been with children but it comes over as being very child friendly, lots of kids eating out in the beer halls in the evening, streets full of prams even late at night with families just pottering together.

Am very impressed at all this going out without children. I gave all my bottles and pump away to a friend as ds never took expressed milk, not once, ever. May get a bottle at some point soon and just hand express and see if madam will. Don't know if I'd ever actually use it though!

Was supposed to go to a concert last night but I'd have had to pay full for dd as they won't sell babe in arms tickets for stuff not aimed at children as there may be something offensive (because my 6 week old will be so offended by folk music )

Am at a bit of a loss for dd and bedtime, she seems to hate 7pm. Doesn't matter when she last napped or fed she goes crazy at that time and fusses and screams and won't feed. She is starting to sometimes go down for naps awake perfectly happy so I feel I can't start putting her to bed at 7 and expecting results until I can get her happy at 7. She tends to feed around 5 (so in theory should be hungry but not starving) then she is awake for a bit, has a little doze then bath at 6.30 with ds. She loves her bath but once she is in pjs she turns into a monster.

Can I get TMI on you?

Have internal piles, like shitting glass (sorry). Have stuff to put up there from Dr, have stool softener from chemist. Started treatment on Wed and if anything it hurts more! Grr (am guessing some of you have been enjoying the same after effects of childbirth). Plus I'm really, really windy. Really loud rumbling thunder windy....why? Also have really heavy, snotty vaginal discharge. Dr took a swab on Wed but not heard anything yet. I'm a joy to be around I tell you

Please tell me I'm not the only one who is generally broken down there. I think I'm defective and need to put into care or something.

Oh Arti I am going to make you a hot toddy and send it mentally to you.

Cat your DP means well, please dont feel you are crap and compare yourself to us on here because of what we do or don't say. I have to say I often don't talk of the 'difficulties' I'm having or crisis of mothering ability cos I feel a bit guilty because I have Dh around a lot of the time and he is immensly helpful. Speaking of which though we have just said goodbye to him as he is off to Munich til Thursday night. Also the 'sleep over' turned into a bit if nightmare as ds1s friend woke up at 2.30 and wanted his mummy. So we bought him in with us, so then ds1 wanted to come in too, so he came in and DH went into ds' room. So I had 2 boys in bed with me and ds2 in his cot next to me. He woke up for his usual feeds then I had Ds' friend doing what I can only describe as snow angels next to me and both he and ds1 decidedxat different hours of the night that they wanted milk! So at 7am I kicked them both out of bed and sent them into dh. We arranged to meet ds' friends parents for breakfast at 10.30 which of course we were late and sleepy for and to top it off I spilt water onto my breakfast but it was near the end but I had a soggy egg and hash brown (one of my fav things on earth is hash browns).

And now to top it off Arsenal look like drawing against Spurs, if they're lucky!

Oh and supercat an hour after the last drink the alc has left the milk but they say just to be sure wait an hour and a half so you would be fine. I have to say I think Syb's method of if you can express you are sober enough is a good one.

Indith - my piles are external - don't know if there are inner ones too! They are like a bunch of grapes ( if not an entire vineyard!) and have got cream and lactulose from docs, neither of which seem to do anything. I don't have much vaginal discharge but my pants smell of wee (really sorry TMI) so I think my pelvic floor is not as good as I thought it was. Ming. Also yes I have mega-wind!!! Loud, thunderous and really smelly! Don't know what that's about!

Arti - hope you feel better soon [big hugs]

Last night I only slept from 8.30-10.30 and 6am till 7am because Phoebe is full of a cold and would only settle if I sat upright and held her against me. Poor thing. Am preparing myself for the same again tonight.

and here's my joke, but I think it might lose something when written down...

A man went to a zoo. All the zoo had in it was one dog. It was a shih-tzu.

makes me laugh every time

trace I also love that joke.

my current fave is:
why did the baker have brown hands?
because he kneaded a poo!

what are internal piles? as it hurts when i poo! i hadn't thought it was pg related just that i had (tmi) had what I call a 'sharp poo' which had made it sore. could it be internal piles - yikes?? it has been sore a couple of weeks. also unlikely to be birth rather than pg related for me as i had c section.

also lots of wind here! nice!

arti hope you feel better soon.

and supercat hope you get some sleep tonight!

oh re comparing yourself to others, my best friends baby has been sleeping through since 6 weeks. apparently she sleeps perfectly ever evening from 7 also. i can't help but think she is implying i am crap all the time even though she doesn't mean too. especially as she is doing gina ford and witters on about gina this and that all the time!

quick post - mentalist MIL is here for 2 nights - she has just spent the past 10 mins banging on to me the benefits of formula feeding - don't get me wrong, but i'm really happy bfeeding at the mo - and dd i gaining weight fine, so no need to consider anything else yet. and i am resenting this backwards way of trying to tell me what to do.

also, she is the ONLY person who has taken dd from me without asking - she just thinks it is her right to do so. didn't realise how much that upset me until she did it - i had to then leave the room.

she is driving us both nuts and has only been here 2 hours.

wish us/me strength...

also, is it possible that i've got my period already??? have had some bleeding and i haven't had any for 2/3 weeks now - dd is 6 weeks old. anyone else got their period who is bfeeding?

wg my MIL keeps telling me i am not making enough milk and impling i should ff. i know she is trying to be helpful but it is annoying! good luck and try and let it wash over you!

Hello.

Veggie I see you watched the match. What was Eboue thinking???

We've had a hard weekend. Our puppy seems terrified of DS1. I am finding it so so much harder than I ever expected I would. She tries to jump on DS2 when we feed him. I feel like a cruel and horrible b*tch but I am seriously considering asking the rescue to take her back and leave the whole dog idea until they are alot older. We could always get a goldfish. I've been crying my eyes out for the past day and I didn't sleep at all last night because I was worrying. DS2 slept for 6 hours and I just didn't sleep a bit.

Kayz he's an idiot, I wish he and Bendtner would just go away. Maybe it would be better for you and the puppy, Kayz or could you talk to a vet or someone about how to help the puppy. But really I'm sure you have enough on your plate.

WG I don't think your MIL is trying to be helpful, I think she is trying to undermine you, what a horrible thing to say that your not making enough milk. You baby is healthy so you clearly are, what could she possibly be basing that on? I think she has her own issues around how she fed her children that she hasn't resolved and she is taking them out on you. If anything she needs a good battering about the head and body.

And babies who sleep through from 6 weeks were always going to it has nothing to do with GF or anything it's just the luck of the draw, or they are very good at ignoring their LOs cries.

Oh sorry SL that was your MIL

evening everyone. i should be at mass but dd was napping at last for the first proper nap today and has only just woken up - i hope God doesn't mind...

arti hope you're feeling ok and dh is back to help and dd hasn't turned you into a little raisin. sounds worryingly ;ike mastitis if you've got blocked ducts and feverish, can you get to your doc tomorrow to be checked out?

kayz i'm sure the dog rescue people would much rather have the dog back if he's not getting on with the children than anyone come to any harm. it's a really hard decision but your babies have to come first (i know that sounds harsh)

wg/sl it's time for that "yes how interesting that you think that but we're doing just fine with bf/happy with picking up lo whenever they cry/ having them in our room/ in a different room" reply. As long as you have dh on side you can be a united front.

sl a 6 week old baby that's bf needs to feed more often and will wake in the night, no matter what gf or anyone else says. there's a sleep clinic at romsey mill tomorrow at 10.30, see you there?

veggie blimey you're a brave lady with all those nippers! gutted for you re hash browns, so artificial but so good!

piles - vvv lucky to have avoided but do get a bit bunged up, the only cure that's worked is lots of fluids to keep everything moving.

indith sounds like 7pm is dd's witching hour. can you get your dh to put ds to bed for a few days so you can lavish dd with attention and calm her down more easily? must be very hard trying to deal with two babies at once.

supercat if you need some time out we'll be here whenever you want us [big hug] it is so easy to compare babies as we expect them all to be the same and do things at the times the books tell us, but they're like us of course, we're all different too. So glad to hear you're getting something back from T now, the cooing and playing is soooo lovely and it's wonderful to see our little people developing their own personalities. Even if (I'm talking about you dd) that personality is a bit of a pain in the butt sometimes

just to finish up, my very favourite joke in the world, so good that once I fell of a bar stool in between the question and the punchline [I may have been partaking of a bit of cheerfulness

What's the fastest cake in the world?

[looking rapidly from one side of the room to the other] Scone!

Veggie The waiting time is for the US Embassy! I couldn't believe it when we got online and tried to get an appointment. I guess every American in Britain had a baby at the same time! ;)

DH's art show is February 17-27th at Mile End Arts Pavilion in Stepney. He has an opening reception on the 20th at 7pm.

kmp I didn't even know I could get a British passport for the baby. We had asked about dual citizenship and someone told us that the child would have to live in this country 15 years before they could become a citizen... so we figured it was the same for the passport. Maybe we'll check into getting a British one! What is the process for getting one?

WG So sorry your MIL is driving you nuts. Hang in there! At least it's only 2 days and not a month! My MIL and I got into a row while she was here. She basically told me the Mohel (the guy who circumcised DS) was full of s*!t because he told us to put him in a larger nappy for two weeks. We had to avoid letting her change him because she would put the smaller nappies on him! I finally told her I didn't appreciate her saying that and I was following the mohel's instructions whether she liked it or not. DS's health and well being are more important than her opinion.

ooh jj that is a good idea.
I am selling my birth pool on ebay though so it depends on whether someone local wins it as otherwise I may have to stay in for courier to pick it up.

Kimberley do either of you have British citizenship? If so your LOs instantly get citizenship.