August 2008: Lovely Ladies with Beautiful Babies

[TwilightSurfer]

This makes our 28th thread.

aah we also dicovered the squeaky breathing is acctually excitement DD did it as I went to bed and I turn on the light she was fast asleep with a big grin on her face, legs and arms waving making a squeaky noise. These are the same wriggles she does when she see DH for the first time when he gets in! Paranoid PFB mummy

sazzles the venting outlet and the virtual hugs work wonders you know

Anyway, he doesn't know it yet, but I've got my own back on him. SIL brought round a couple of homemade doughnuts, and I ate mine AND his. Hah.

Hope your DD1 is ok Sazz.
Anyhoo. Am boring myself now even. I really should be cleaning up seeing as SIL and MIL have taken Sebastian off my hands. Really can't seem to motivate.

ann hugs you should sleep.sod the cleaning.

no Ann DO NOT motivate - go have a nap and then when you get up then think about cleaning - you need to sleep too. Sleep not just for Seb and his dad!

Do you think if enough of us tell Ann to sleep she will?

Ladies you are right. I'm going to have a lie down.
See you later.

Sazzles is famous! Will she still speak to us do you think?

Oops- open-ended help of the sort your DH is offering is often not the best thing. It isn't for you, but not for the PILS either. Could he suggest that he calls over and has a calm chat for an hour at the weekend, in which he asks them how they are going to move things forward and helps them to sort through some ideas about that? I know when we were offering informal support for students we were told that being available all the time and talking for as long as the student wanted was actually counter-productive. If DH helps them in a more controlled way that would be better for you too.

Albs - PF and Buckets have very sound advice on the school gate thing. It is a bit of a minefield.I agree that drawing a line under things with her and being transparently lovely to her at all times will mean it isn't worth her while carrying on with any meanness or gossip. I'm currently trying to extricate myself from a baby group mum who it turns out is only looking to be offended by everyone and everything. At the moment I'm in her good books but the petty malice is just unbearable.
I hate the idea of anyone making you cry.

PF - I am a red mist queen, and nearly got lost driving round in the dark on rural backroads at 39 weeks pregnant after a row. Scared myself silly.

I pick my battles better than I used to but I caused war on Saturday by saying 'X childcare issue is a problem, and the only reason you can't see it is is because you're not here often enough to see that it is.'
Boom. Things have eased as the week has gone on thank god.

I've just deleted the line at the top of this post which said 'Just popping on to say hi'

Many many xposts there.

Ann, bed now. [big stern mummy voice]

lol sibh at popping on....

sibh lol at 'the only reason you do not see it is you are not here often enough to see it' that is JUST the sort of thing I would say

Hopelessly inflammatory and attention seeking in one fell swoop and completely and utterly unlikely to get the response you want

Yes PF exactly, I could hear that warning going off in my brain and said it anyway.
Do I get points for only saying it once after 6 months of thinking it?

I have been proved right since too and instead of saying so have been smiling winningly at dp like this: which has provoked in response...

Um. Starving. Cleaning will have to wait a bit longer.

Just been skimming as RL a bit insane atm

Ann SO sorry to hear about last night - got to love your MIL though. Hope you had a nice sleep .

albs {{{hugs}}} So sorry to hear of school gate cow...I have yet to get to this stage, so I really don't have any advice, just sympathy. Think what PF and others have said is good advice, hope things improve.

Can I have a rant? I am

I got my present job when I was pregnant and assumed I would have to claim MA as wouldn't have length of service to get SMP. After giving them my MATB1 form, got a letter saying I was entitled to pay - first 6 weeks at 90%, remainder at smp rate. I queried this 4 times to ensure that someone hadn't cocked up made a mistake. Was told verbally 3 times that it was correct, and received emails confirming. Fast forward to ML, first month I only get the flat rate SMP, phone up to query again, get told they've buggered up, I should be getting the 90%, gets corrected. Sept fine (apart from being issued an incorrect payslip), Oct got 2 lots of SMP, Nov nothing. Didn't honestly notice overpayment until I got my Nov payslip through - assumed lack of pay in Nov was due to a correction.

So then end of Dec comes, again I don't get paid. Query it with HR, a week later someone comes back to me claiming I don't qualify for SMP due to length of service. I point out that according to them I did, gave them dates and references of calls etc. They said they would look into it. Have finally got back to me to say they are having a meeting on Monday to discuss it and will let me know the outcome. WTF? LET ME KNOW THE OUTCOME ???? SO are they going to pay me at all? Didn't sound like it on the phone tbh - fuckers fuckers fuckers. We really budgeted on having that money and it's really screwing us over not having it. Fuckers.

Plus I start back at work on Monday - this has made me sooooo enthusiastic .

Ann,
I was mulling while tidying and I was thinking about what your DP said. The work situation sounds awful and must be making him feel under siege. Taking that out on you isn't right at all, but I can see how it would make him feel very defensive. When you're in that mode it's hard not to take everything the wrong way.

Do you think he has got it into his head that you're competing with him for the 'most tired and stressed' title rather than that you're both under pressure and need to support each other through it?

If you tell him that the way he spoke to you upset you because it's not like him, and it made you realise how troubled he is, that might be a way of saying it's unacceptable without aggravating things.

It is a real strain when both of you are under such a lot of pressure at the same time ...

I have seen the light re. constructive arguing since Saturday you see.
Hark at Mother Teresa, as my friend would say.

That isn't fair at all Alieight.

AnnVan sorry to hear about dp tho ur mil sounds amazing...

having horric afternoon, dryer packed up, hoover packed, dd2 pukey, poohy and cheeks red raw.. will these teeth every arrive??

dh planning on going out for 3 night this week and playing footie most of tom.. so i am left holding the fort again..#

wisdom teeth flared up so on another course of anti biotics.... moan moan moan.. thats all i seem to do at the moment!!!!!!!!!!

sarah you and me both. I keep trying to remind myself that DP isn't as bad as some men around. Feel your pain re wisdom teeth. Thankfully mine haven't been so bad lately.

Hello ataraxis,

I remember that I think that you were asking about alternatives to jeans and hoodies?

How about v-neck jumpers and styled trousers? You can buy a nice lambswool v-neck jumper in the mens section of M&S and if you get a small then they feel quite fitted and styled and quite smart but comfy over things.

Am not a fashion genious as above post may reveal. Also have been known to wear hooded tops.

Started leaving DS with my in-laws this week while I work in the mornings (we both go to their house and then I work in one of the bedrooms). Going OK so far. Very kind of them to do this for us.

Lots of thoughts for all.

PS I think that my DS is fab, hard work but really fab, and sometimes, when I think about it I realise that I love him so much.

MN doing strange things...everytime I change page it tells me to log in and then goes blank - had to press back button 20 times to get here.