November 2008 - Cooing babies, tired ladies

[LackaDAISYcal]

now I'm off to catch up.

Thanks for responses about night feeding. I've been going to bed at midnight and waking him up then so not setting alarm or anything. It's kind of working as dh doesn't get home from work til after 8pm so not wanting to eat/ go to bed before he gets in otherwise I would go to bed at 9pm with W and then wait til he wakes up. Will try this at some point to see when he wakes up naturally!
Daisy Am going to seek out some of those heat pads - sound like heaven!!
Lovely photos Tegan and Pinkali
chocolategal i had forceps- defo weak pelvic floor muscles!! Have been very slack (har har) doing excercises tho. Must try harder!
6 week check tomorrow. Going to ask about green poo, vomiting after feeding (he's just started doing that a lot) head shape (he prefers one side to the other to sleep on - worried he's going to make it flat) tongue tie and I might ask about my boobs if it's a nice doc!

Will try to catch up on posts but DH staring at me wanting the laptop. I wouldnt mind but I only get an hour if lucky out of the whole day to do something for me and this is what I chose!

A update ... 8 weeks old today . Where has the time gone? Took her to be weighed. She is now 11 lbs which is an increase of 3lb 5oz on her birth weight. She is following the weight growth curve exactly and has increased her head and length centile. She also had her first major giggle today. She has been smiling and doing the odd laugh for weeks but was doing it for ages. I've booked her in next Tues for her medical and first injections . Calpol at the ready. Going to mention to the doctor about A's skin not that he can miss it. It is like sandpaper. Not sure it is eczema like DS but I think it needs looking into.

DS - had another good day after picking him up from nursery this morning. Wonder if I need to have a word with the manager of his nursery though ... just that DS has been bitten a few times, hit and toys taken off him for no reason. From what I can establish talking to DS, not leading questions and nursery cannot disclose childs name, it is the same child every time! I can understand some behaviour but DS has been upset twice today, once when the child took a toy from him (no biggy) and the second time his main carer said she thinks DS was intimidated by a situation with a child. Intimidated! Hope this s**t at nursery isnt contributing to DS behaviour.

Have just bought meself some hula jeans fab!! Thanks for the link!!!!

Vbab for your ds! Hope you are able to get to the bottom of it

barbs, I saw some even smaller (therefore more discreet) ones in poundstretcher, or instore as it's called now, for £1.59. If you want I can get them and post them to you? they might make you look like you have enormous knockers though

vbab, sorry about A's skin. bumble's rash from a few weeks ago is now a papery loose skin covering. I've been putting some of DD's doublebase on it and it's slowly getting better, but this cold weather isn't helping.

I'm pretty sure that DS's behaviour will be affected by what's going on at nursery . I would take this further if I were you, if the nursery aren't doing anything about it.

coolkat, there is a MNer who is in employment law who is very clued up and helpful about things like this. If you start a thread in employment issues, she will probably see it. Her name is flowerybeanbag. It sounds like they haven't followed the correct procedures to me. Also, do you have a union rep that you could contact about it?

poor bumble just isn't settling tonight. He's had two lots of calpol at 2pm and 6pm. Can I give him another dose?

rutho says Hi and sorry she hasn't been on. she got her DH a new computer game for crimbo and she can't get on the computer for either him or F. she's hoping to come and say Hi later in the week.

I've told her about the Trafford Centre, and also mentioned that the South Yorks meet up needs to be rescheduled.

Hello all, I am a happy bunny today
DS has been a dream today, again. Sleeping well and happy and alert when awake.
Yeah!
Had him weighed yesterday, you made me remember vbab my little boy has more than doubled his birth weight now going from just 4llb4oz to 8llb 10oz!!
Woohoo!
But they do say that a premmy baby does pile the weight on in the early days. Not trying to take away from your joy vbab.

He is still not giving me any smiles though but he is very alert and likes to look at lights. But I have to remember that he was 4 weeks early so is, sort of, only 5 weeks old. Still, all you ladies with responsive, smiling and even giggling babies make me a wee bit jealous
Ah well, I must accept that DS will be a little slower and will catch up with you all eventually.

I am also soo pleased with him. He is asleep in his cot!
Having decided that I will continue with the co sleeping, I also decided that I need to get some sort of evening routine going and get my evening back. Last night it took nearly 2 hours of shouting, settling shouting settling before he finally settled, just in time for a wee snooze then his 11 o'clock feed
Tonight he only struggle for half and hour, three quarters of an hour.
So not so much running up and down the stairs.
And nearly 45mins to myself.
Hope to get him down earlier tomorrow and get a bit more time to myself.

Tonight DH held the whole thing up, even though I told him how I wanted the evening to go, he still spent 45 mins in the shower with DD. Who can spend 45 mins in a shower??
Then wouldn't hand DS over for me to get him organised for bed. He was enjoying a rare cuddle so I couldn't really insist, but it did mean that my planned schedule was an hour behind. I don't mind, but DH wanted an early bed so he scuppered himself.

Hey, have any of you tried baby massage yet?
I went to my first class yesterday. DS took a feed as soon as we went in, so that was his massage dashed (you can't massage until half an hour after a full feed. Oops, I didn't know that) but I had done it with DD before so I was happy to just watch.
I gave DS his first massage tonight though, with DH reading the hand out, out to me, with me saying 'next' as I completed each task.
DS loved it! So calm all the way through.

sorry for the masshoosive post. It is just nice to be feeling on top of things for once.
Sorry to hear of more arguments. I really do think 'this too shall pass' and hope all calms down for you all.
DH and I are taking it as it comes but I am hopeful that we will settle down too. At least DH realises that he was not helping matters by being selfish, that, at least, ought to make a difference.
Fingers crossed.

Right that seems to be my time up, DS seems to have had enough alone time.
ooh, DH has decided to head for bed. Yeah, will grab some more me time now.

D'you know, funnily enough, I was thinking about rutho the other day.
Thinking that we hadn't seen her on here for a while and hoping that things were ok with her.
Weird.
Good to hear things are fine.

I am glad my DH is not into computer games. Well actually, that is partly down to me. I won't have one in the house. But my not having one only works cos DH was happy enough not to.
One day we will get a Wii though, they are great! Getting fit and playing silly games? Fab!
But £170 got other things to use that money on. Maybe with next christmas's bonus. This year just topped up the lack of wage from paternity leave.
Having children is just so expensive

Opps, that was one of my mind rambles, sorry about that.

morning my lovelies, how you are all good! Firstly, coolkat I am almost 100% sure that they CAN'T do that to you whilst on maternity leave. I wanted to go back 2/3 days a week after DS1 but they made my job "redundant" and offered me a really shitty replacement one that was not like for like in any stretch of the imagination. I seeked out an employment lawyer, who on my behalf, sent a few letters - I ended up getting a year's full pay including bonuses as compensation, plus another £10K [SHOCK] (although no job at the end). I happily took that, as by the time the year was over I was PG with DS2. Deffo seek advice on the employment board though, keep us posted!

Good luck to all those having jabs this week, and to those who have had them. I DEFINATELY recommend giving calpol 20mins before hand, and daisy I also gave them to Tiger before bed (her jabs were 1pmish). She was fine, if a little unsettled. Glad you have spoken to rutho I was also thinking about her and hoping she was cool and the gang.

vbab am sorry to hear about your son's nursery, BUT as a mother of a biter (well ex one now!) please remember that it is the habit that is bad and not the child. My DS quite literally, couldn't help himself if he was in a situation with another child, rather than push or shove, he would bite. There is no excuse for any of this behaviour, but biting is obviously bad as it leaves a mark whereas a push doesn't. What you need to make sure, is that the nuirsery are repriminding the kids for ANY bad behaviour.

Pinkali welcome back, where did you go? am v. as this was the year we were taking the DC's skiing for the first time - scuppered now by the arrival of Tiger...oh, well, always next year (although DH and I are contemplating a selfish 3 day weekend skiing away towards the end of the season, when tiger is about 5 months)

twinkling you sound very together and happy! gfood on you girl!

lacks hope bumble is ok today, and you had a restful night !!!

Catch you all alter

Will try and catch up in a bit but just wanted to post this for Coolkat before I have to go out.

You are correct - if you are on maternity leave and redundancy is a possibility, then if there is a suitable alternative vacancy, then you have to be offered it over everyone else (without an interview). However, they may say that it is not 'suitable alternative' because of the hours issue - but this is irrelevant as anyone with children under 5 can request flexible working (including P/T) - so you should be offered the job and then make a request for flexible working.

Are you in a union? Could you speak to someone in HR about why you are not being offered the role? If they don't have a good explanation as to why they don't think it is suitable alternative employment, continue to interview you, and don't appoint you, then you could take them to tribunal.

I hope that helps - I have a phone number for a solicitor who specialises in employment issues for women on maternity leave/with children - she gives advice for free. I can let you have it if you want it.

Thankyou to whoever suggested shhhhhhhhing when baby is unsettled.

Last night H went down at 8pm - he woke an hour later (which always happens) so I went in and stood by the cot and shhhed for about 20 seconds and he went back to sleep till I woke him at 11pm. ok could be a one off but I was still chuffed.

Right - decided it was too much of a rush to try and have a shower and get Sam ready to make it to the weigh-in clinic by 10.30 and then go into town - so am going to go to the clinic dirty and have a shower later

Just checked out the jeans link (thanks Ladybuzz) but they are sold out in size 18 in black and navy (which would look smarter) so I guess I am just going to have to hope the shop in town has them. Dozy thanks for the link about Monsoon - will try New Look first as I don't really want to spend too much money!

Daisy thanks for the update on Rutho - I do miss her funny posts!! Hope her and F are doing well

Vbab sorry about your DS's problems but agree with Dozy, the biter probably can't help himself and it is not deliberate. DS1 has been bitten several times at nursery and he tells us who it is (nursery won't) and it is always the same child - but nursery have told us they are dealing with it so we just have to trust them I guess. Unfortunately DS1 also bites occasionally (he never did it before he got bitten himself).

I knew I spoke too soon about Sam only waking once - last night I fed him at 8 and then he woke at 1 and then again at 5.30 - in between DS1 being really restless and coming in at least 3 times for me to put his 'Thomas stories' on, I did not get a good nights sleep!! Does anyone know of a good kid-friendly CD player that I can teach DS1 which button to press to put his own flaming Thomas stories on??? The CD player we use is probably a bit too complicated for him.

Morning All,

Reluctant Mmm what can I say other than and at your DH. I am sorry about your situation because it is the last thing you need when you have a newborn and other children. You need to get out for a bit. Could you go and visit some friends or family over night? That way someone can help you with the children and give you a little resbite and adult conversation other than an argument.

Tegan rather gorgeous!!!

Dozy HELLO... yes i've been away for a little while and then popping in every now and again but when you do that you feel like you miss out on sooo much. Esme is currently sleeping (YIPPEE)so I have popped into the office to do a couple of things (OOPS but am on MN). Skiing was great, however i had a panic about the altitude and Esme (initially was going to take her up the lift and sit at top and didn't even think about the height but we got stopped and told wasn't advisable until 8 months. I rang my sister and asked her to ring NHS direct and they advise not under 5 years old as the tablets for altitutde sickness have never been tested on children). We do want to get her on ski's as soon as possible though.

I also understand your heartbreak about not being able to BF. I went though exactly the same thing!

Coolkat I'm near Lincoln. Are you MM iykwim?

Dozy Forgot to add, esme has a dummy but isn't all that bothered about it. I was dead set against giving one to her but my mum said that sometimes just want to be soothed by sucking so I thought what the hell. She uses it but it then falls out and she seems ok. I do feel a little cruel when i place my finger on the end of it

RI, sorry I skipped over your post the other day . Sorry for your DH issues. Men can be such arses at times, especially where life changes like babies are involved. tell him he's being an arse less than supportive and that you need him on side.
Same for you twinkling so hugs coming at you both. DH was the same with DS1 and DD, but is obviously resigned to it now as he has been so level headed about bumble's arrival.

dummies...after a few days of bumble taking a dummy, he now gags and spits and chokes with one in his mouth, but will quite happily suck on a finger up to the second knuckle which is longer. Strange child. I've spent about £16 on different dummies as well.

horrible night here ; he was up and crying about four times and is out of sorts this morning and looking a bit blotchy and spotty. His temp is a bit high, but he isn't feverish. Not sure whether to worry the doctor about it, or just wait and see how he is tomorrow. DD being a grump as well today so we're having a lovely time

Can someone tell me what's so great about the New Look jeans? My problem at the minute is that I'm very apple shaped and the size 16s that I've got cut my spare tyre in half, yet fall down as they are too big around my hips. I am a style conundrum

Having a nightmare with my left nipple at the minute; since the milk blister over the weekend his latch seems all wrong and he is clucky and keeps twanging my nip around in his mouth. It's red raw and very sore, like the early days all over again. Had to resort to using a nipple shield last night.

Hi to tegan and pinkglow as well

Pinkali yes in MM! How far is that from Lincoln?!

Lacks sorry about nipple, touch wood BF going fine again, I have to say though its only down to you guys and I really thank you for that.

Barb You can be the official Hula jeans tester. I tried some on in Next today, one size to big other little to tight so I shall wait until lost a it of weight,

Twink, sorry your evening did not go to plan, my evening went ok but then up every 1/2 hour to resettle. In hindsight I should have probably offered her another BF but I was so tired I don't think I was with it! She finally settled back down at 4.30ish when 10 mins later DH's fire alerter went off and woke her - Rahh

Work issue update: Got to have interview even though I have letter stating the new job is comparable to my old one. I asked her to get a copy of the maternity provision book that they gave me and look at the redundancy part, I said why haven't I been offered the job as accoring to the book this is what happens. She said she did not know but would ask HR. So on Friday I have to go for interview and leave my baby with the heads PA . The thing is the Job will be loads easier than the one I was doing but on the JD it is full time and some holidays are included. I am currently PT and don't work holidays. Fed up and confused.

Thanks for all of your replies. I have never started a thread and would sooner stay here

Coolkat 62 miles away, i'm actually nearer Gainsborough.

Also, my sister has just been redundant whilst on maternity leave. I'm a solicitor but not an employment one so not much use inthis area. Know bits and bobs but i would take the advice of whoever it was that mentioned a solicitor who gives free advice over this type of matter.

HOw far is Newark from you?

Hey ladies,

Thanks for the kind wishes, I am SOOOOOO behind with all your news. I'm not going through the litany of crap of the last few weeks but suffice it to say that:

1. I'm glad DH is back at work, the malingering little gobshite, and what on earth possessed me to buy him Grand Theft Auto 4 for Xmas I will never know...
2. I CAN exist on 4 hours sleep out of 24 for a whole week and indeed thrive apart from sanity and skin tone and access to a computer.
3. How is it possible to breastfeed a baby this often and still weigh 12.5 stone?
4. I got my first period since Fin's birth on Xmas Eve - is that unfair? Betcha anything Baby Saurus 2 is born before 2010 is out as I am too sleep deprived to remember to take the pill reliably...
5. Following which, sex not as bad as I thought . Still, I made the bugger wait 7 weeks. Fner.

GOSH I have missed you all so, so much! How are you doing? Obs, how is the feeding? Merry, how are the twins? EVERYONE, how are you doing/coping/surviving? I have ssen some of you on Facebook and damn, that's a lot of cute babies...

Can I come back?

Love,

Saurus

Welcome back Saurus X

You mean your letting him have it! Bah you should trade hanky panky for time on the computer

Pinkali, I don't know, Will ask DH, but I know my mum went there last week and I do have a tom tom if we meet there!

Hey Coolkat,

I know, I know, but it was that or kill him - the nagging was getting to me. I traded him the washing up instead...

I feel like a housework prostitute now.

yay rutho

course you can come back....you're the one who keeps us all laughing and there has been precious little humour around recently.

Can you not "lose" GTA4 in your sleep deprived state? Tidy it away somewhere that'll take him weeks to find. I praise the good lord above that my DH is neither a sport head, petrol head or computer games head, but I swear I'll kill myself if I have to watch another fecking pole fishing video full of boring middle aged blokes talking in monotones by the side of a river for hours on end.

come and join us on the Diet thread

oh, and my period came back when DD was nine weeks old, so you have my sympathy. Thought it was back this time too, but it didn't amount to anything other than a smear.

Saurus yay you are back I have missed you! You did well to hold out for 7 weeks I think I managed to put up with the nagging about it for 4 before I caved in

Coolkat I would still be digging my heels in about the interview on Friday if it is not necessary (and to leave you baby with a relative stranger??) - I would tell your manager you want an answer about why you have not been offered the job asap (and definitely before Friday). I know it makes you seem pushy but this is your rights we are talking about.

Right am going for third time lucky with Sam's weigh-in this afternoon! I went last Tuesday (after being told the clinic was on by my HV) to find the HV's had gone home after 10 minutes cos they thought no-one would turn up! Went to a different one this morning only to find the centre was shut because of renovation works...so am going to try a different one again this afternoon!! Surely I can't be unlucky 3 times in a row?? I only want to know what he weighs fgs! He has clearly grown as the babygro (which was 0-3 months) we bought him home from hospital in was ridiculously big on him at the time - I put him in it last night and he was pushing the feet out!!