November 2008 - Cooing babies, tired ladies

[LackaDAISYcal]

now I'm off to catch up.

Morning all, and happy new year PinkAli . Your holiday sounds lovely....but cold!

It's a pity DH isn't working in Lincolnshire anymore as we have had a few weekends down there in the past. He was just outside Boston.

Re night feeds, bumble wakes up usually around 11 (give or take an hour!). I'm aiming to be in bed by then as if he wakes and goes on the boob immediately he settles right back down again. If (a la GF) he gets woken up fully, I've got no chance of getting him settled for at least two hours. so, last night, me and bumb settled in bed by 10.30; he fed, slept till just after 1, fed again, fed at 4.30ish and then I woke him up at seven to start the day. He as, as is his wont, slept all morning so far.

Been to physio this morning......things are improving. My tummy muscles have gone back in by one fingers width, so at three intead of four and apparently my pelvic floor is working fine, just very weak. I have a partial collapse of the wall between bladder and foof though, but she was optimistic that it'll improve with time, provided I do my pelvic floors. And I have to give up caffeine completely as it is irritating my bladder. So, it'll be a decaf skinny latte when we meet up in Manc!

barbs, how about some of those hand warming pads popped in your bra if you have to go out in the cold . We got some the other day in ALDI that can be reused and are only a bit bigger than a breast pad!

Re the docs, talk to a BFC first, and then find out from your HV which doc at your GPs is most clued up/sympathetic of breastfeeding issues and see that doc. My GP suggested I call the local NCT counsellor and even knew her name. I suspect that he is the exception rather than the norm though!

x posts daisy but you must have read my mind!!!

Oh no.. Manchester is not very good for me. I look forward to meeting up with people some other time Anyone nearer me?????????

Daisy give up caffeine??? How hard is that going to be for you?? Poor you

chocolategal I am feeding Sam every 3 hours, rather than on demand - the timings depend on when he has his first feed of the day and the rest follow on - so for example, he had his firt feed this morning at 6.30, then another at 9.30, then 12.30 - I will feed him at 3.30 and then at 6 and then his last feed will be at 8. I am loosely following the Baby Whisperer EASY routine and she suggests 'tanking them up' in the evenings so basically switching to 2-hourly - it seems to have worked for the last 2 nights as Sam has only woken up once for a feed, rather than twice. He tends to take 3-4oz each feed (very occasionally he will down a 6oz bottle but not very often).

Barbs I am not sure I would wake Will up for a feed tbh - do you set your alarm to wake yourself up first?? Although I am quite rigid about feeding Sam during the day, at night, I wait for him to wake up for a feed - although he rarely cries in the night for a feed, he just gets really restless and noisy (sometimes he is not even fully awake) but I daren't let him start screaming as he would wake DS1 up.

e REALLY so cute pinkali reminds me a bit of my podgkin...loving having a girl! pic of your dh talking to her is very sweet too.

daisy good news on muscles! mine are still at least 5 fingers apart but done no exercise . pelvics seem ok though. spoke to doc, she did not offer me physio! just said do some sit ups. since i hadn't been doing them, didin't feel like i could insist.what exercises do you do?

barbs, mine don't feed properly when i wake them up. if w does, then i think that is preferable to give you more hours in a row. it does make a difference. i was up 7x last night between the 2 of them. DD lasted from 10pm till 2am though, so was well pleased. sadly ds2 up at midnight and then every 2-2.5 hours after. not sure what has got into him. he is happy to go 3 hours in the day. i thought he was my GF baby!!

chocgal, my aunt is an HV and she said to wake every 3 hours in the day so they wake less in the night. otherwise they compensate for day feeds in the night! but if you are happy with night feeds, then keep going. mine don't feed well if i wake them, have to really thoroughly wake them up!

I too had a restless night with owen. he had a bath at 7pm then fed until 10, thought he had settled but was up at 10.30 til 11.30 feeding again. slept til 1.45 then up awake and feeding until 3.30 went off then until 7 am. could this be due to the fact i never ate from 3pm yesterday, dh thinks my milk was not any good because i hadn't eaten properly.
Am taking owen to clinic to be weighed tomorrow as he hasn't been done for nearly 3 weeks.

thanks for the advice ladies, the thing is he only wakes once at night for a feed roughly 4am ish. so his last feed his 10pm ish then 4am then 8am ish.
its just i feel his daytime feeds are a bit erratic!

merry i havent had my gp check up yet but if i dont get referred to physio i am going to try to be strong and insist i get one for my pelvic floors.

are there exercises for it other than the clenching ones???

obs, hope scan goes well.

furrytiger. thanks for sharing all that. it's intense. reading that article must have been 'validating' and make you feel less like it's your problem or you are making it up. IT'S NOT IN YOUR HEAD. also great that dh is there as an 'objective' observer and can see it. that she gave your old stuff to your dd!!! my mum gives me her old clothes but only cos i have put on so much weight and she has lost loads!

DM, of the jeans. i am squeeeeeeeezed into a size 16 under my huge belly. my pants which fit over bump are 20-22!!!! . I was a size 12 [sob]. i have eaten like a piggy over xmas though.

I can vouch for New Look Hula jeans - I have 2 pairs £10 each full price - Bargain!!

J appears to have changed his routine today all by himself we have gone from 3 ourly feeds of 5oz to 4 hourly feeds of 6oz, I'm not sure why. He also slept in his bouncy chair for 2 mins this morning and for 2 hours after lunch in his pram - we had been out walking though so that might have had something to do with it.
It will be interesting to se if he continues with the 4 hours.

Pinkali E is gorgeous.

Barbs the day I stopped waking DS1 for a 11pm ish feed was the day he started to sleep through from 7-7 and has not fed at night since. It could have been a coincidence but it worked he was 10 weeks old at the time. No guarantees it will work though

Are the Hula jeans hipster ones?? Will they make my overhang look even worse?

ceebee no they have plenty of room to tuck in overhang - believe me I know
They are vv comfy!

hi all, scuse typing, I am standing up with babe in sling typing on laptop on table so keyboard ever so sligtly far away but dont want to sit doqwn as rtrying to se if keeping babe upright in sling for feed and thereafterfor 15 mins or so helps his terrible wind. (sling is a kari me whuicg was recommended by SIL and am enjoing getting to gripswiith )

am confused byt all talk of how far apart tumy muscles are! what is this witchcraft??! how do i9 measure my own? what does it mean?!!!

also, for those ladies with pelvic floors not what they were yet, boots stock a set of exercising balls or eggs, which are kind of like a plastic tampon that you pop inside and it forces you to keep tensing your muscles, and because they have something to resist (like weights in the gym) your muscles work harder than just tensing them and releasing them would.
IIRC they got a very goiod press when they were first released onto the market.

www.boots.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10052&catalogId=11051&produ ctId=2135

I had row from hell with dh this morning . we are both mega tired but it really freaked me out. he says such vile things in a temper I cant even begin to wrtoe them down here as i am sure i would be told to divorce him straightaway. obviously I dont want to do that but neither do i want to put up wuth my parenting skills being slagged off in front of my LO - i know she;s too younf to undertsand now, but if i let him off with this it will set a precedent. The problem ism i don't get the option of "letting him off". H eplays hardball and throws it all back on me. Anwyay, its been tough, we/ve kind of made up now, but I feel uneasy about him. He can be like jekyll and hide. His persona when he is angry with me is cold and calculating and hurtful. It makes me feel distrfustful of him even when we are talking again. I know its probbly lack of sleep talking as much as anthing but its not what you need when your five weeks into parenthood. I hope like with all of us having ishoos at the moment, it isnt anything fundamentally wrong and this too, will pass.

I have just added a couple of pics to my profile of our new addition

obs how was you appointment??

furry well done for sharing, hope it helped lightening the load. Have you ever wrote your feelings down to her, and sent a letter? Wonder what her reaction would be to that? Am still gobsmacked at her behaviour, and TBH, seeing the pattern of her behiour start to repeat with your children would really be enough for me to ease of contact (which you are doing anyway). I know it must be very hard indeed for you to break contact, if anything for the guilt you will probably suffer, but honestly, sometimes we need to accept that we can't chnge people's behaviour and that they are responsible for their actions, and their actions alone. If you can't accept them as they are (however bad) then we have to move on with our lives, rather than let them drag us down. I am sure youknow all this anyway so sorry to preach but as I said, my Dad had such a tough time growing up that is still affects him and probably will for the rest of his life. He has spent far to much time, energy etc and I wish he would/could talk to someone about his feelings, however, he is old skool, so won't.......

for all of you using dummies (this is now 4 hours later, so am guessing I have missed lots )

Here is my question.....Tiger is addicted to her dummy! I gave it to her after reading about it reducing cot death, and also because, to me, she seemed to be a "sucky" baby. However, she is that bloody "sucky" that if it falls out when she is going off to sleep, al lhell breaks lose! This has been going on for about 4 days now, and I don't know what to do - cold turkey?? Perserve until she can keep it in??? For me, when I failed to breastfeed, my main drive for using one was that it reduced cot death and as breastfeeding reduces this anyway, I was doing what i thought was best at the time.

The good news is, that I am also so over the fact I couldn't breastfeed. As you know, this was really really heartbreaking for me, but having accepted that, I actually really, really enjoy bottle feeding, as Tiger and I maintain close contact, but more importantly, eye contact for the whole feed. She is always giving me a cheeky grin as well, almost as if she is playing with me!! I love it (plus, I don't care what anyone says, FF babies definately, definately sleep better!)

Gosh, turned into a bit of an essay, apologoes, and I shall now go and read the pst 4 hours!

Dozy unfortunately that is one of the downsides to dummies!! I am a dummy fan so probably not a biased view - plus DS1 used to fall asleep with his dummy in (he still does ) but it never really bothered him if it fell out once he was asleep. I guess only you can decide if you persevere with it (DS1 was able to find and put one it at about 4 months) or go cold turkey now! Plus, not sure what kind of teats your dummies have? Sam and DS1 were only ever able to keep cherry teats in (they look massive but seem to have better staying power!)

Tegan gorgeous photos!

Reluctant sorry you and your DH are having troubles - it seems to be a common theme here so I would probably put it down to new babies/tiredness/stress!

Well I am quite proud of myself as I did the bathtime/bedtime routine by myself for the first time and it went like a dream!! DS1 definitely seems better behaved when DH is not here - does anyone else find that? He was far less giddy and boisterous and actually did what he was told (most of the time!) He is fast asleep in bed and Sam is asleep on the gym in the lounge (although I am going to feed him in a mo). I think I might treat myself to an early night and be in bed by 9.30 at the latest!!

DM I agree with you wholeheartedly about her affecting my children, and I too wish I had been able to liberate myself from my parents many years ago.

However, writing to her would be a really bad idea as she would just have more 'evidence' to use against me. She certainly wouldn't taker anything I say about her or her actions on board.

Merry regarding the old toys- I didn't realise she had them- she threw quite a lot away.I had asked if I could have my old dolly cot to give to DD1, but I was told it had gone, then it appeared and mum insisted that she would be giving it to DD, but hadn't cleaned it or repaired it.
She threw my favourite rag doll away when I was still a child because she was angry that my aunt had made it for me and not her. SHe goes on about it sometimes. I did point out that it was my favourite doll, but that was not important to her.

THere is a lot of other more cruel emotionally abusive things she has done, and she loves getting my siblings to taunt me until I cry so she can laugh and say I'm 'over sensitive'. It was always a bit of a family sport, especially at the dinner table- so yes, Daisy going there for Christmas Dinner is always very stressful for me. I tried one year not to go but my mum turned on the waterworks and my Dsis put a lot of pressure on me so I relented.

On the up side, had a lovely day today. Went to the museum with friends and all our DCs- mayhem but great fun.

DD1 was asking to go to Grannie's house this afternoon not sure how I going to handle this bit, though mum seeems back on a too busy for the granchildren tip at the mo, which is great.

Dozy how so, ff babies sleep better?? My DD2 is sleeping beside me now and will sleep until midnight, then again until around 5am. I would say that's good sleep!
Seriously, though, I'm really pleased you are happy with the whole feeding thing now. I think these things become less significant the more communicative the baby becomes- as you can create bonds in other ways- like the eye-contact, as you say.

reluctant I think a lot of it will be down to lack of sleep- not that that makes it ok-not at all. WE all have our moments, and as long as that is all they are, it's ok.

pinkali your little girl is adorable!! and I think Imi has the same rabbit rabbit, too, is it a chime ball? I love it- it's in her crib and tinkles when it rocks.

Ladybuzz meant to say thanks for the info about the jeans. Am going into town tomorrow so will have a look although, along with having no Monsoon, our New Look is cr*p so I won't hold my breath!

Hi Ladies

Regarding Hula Jeans I am sure I saw a thread on them on here saying how good they were, I keep meaning to go and get some but it would mean going to the city

ceebee you can order online from monsoon. I did that with my coat- just ordered a few and kept the one I wanted- they do free returns. HTHxx

shall do a link to the jeans for you...just going to look now.......

ceebee JUST LOOKED AT monsoon on line, can't see the jeans I have (bought 2/3 weeks ago, do you have a store near you??)

Just wondering.. I remember having to order a skirt from the monsoon in Mcr once and they posted it to me, I wonder if you rang the monsoon in Trafford centre or nearest one to you, they may post?? Bit of a long shot, but they are very friendly.

grumpy bumble after his jabs this afternoon, so lurking and typing with one hand as it's my turn to cuddle him again.

got another twin buggy to test today...a graco duosport. It doesn't come with an apron or anything so cold legs for my two angels, and there isn't even a raincover, which I would say is essential for a test in the UK in winter.

Oh nearly forgot ladies

I have a work issue. The school I work out is undergoing restructuring and my job will not exist, it will be absorbed into another job role.
I had to complete a form showing the Jobs that I could claim comparibility against just after I had Becca and today I got a letter saying I have an Interview on Friday. DH is at work and I have no one else to look after little one and I called to say DH at work and they sounded right p'd off with me. I feel like I should not be having to do all this Job application and interview stuff whilst on maternity leave.

Also in the Maternity doc they gave me it has a part on redundancy and states in the event of redundancies should there be a similar role available this would be offered to me before being offered to other people. This is not what has happened. They are interviewing everyone who has shown interest in the admin role on Friday. I don't stand a chance as I work PT school hours etc and all the job roles are full time office hours.

Feel like saying stick it but I do want to go back PT again.

So what would you do?

Ceebee New Look do online orders too, Jeans are here:
www.newlook.co.uk/women/jeans/hula/ProductList.aspx.

Re dummies DS had one up until Christmas eve when he gave them to Santa for the baby reindeers and he too could find it and put in in around 4-5 months.
DS1 currently has a MAM ortho one for 4 months + as the one they gave him in hospital was so massive he couldn't keep the smaller ones in even the cherry teat ones.

J has his first jabs tomorrow, i'm such a wimp i'm taking SIL with me to hold MY hand

Coolkat I have no advice but I hope you get it sorted. I was made redundant when on MAT leave with DS1 and was called into the office for various things a few times. I never really thought about it at the tim but I know there are different rules when you are on Mat.