November 2008 - Cooing babies, tired ladies

[LackaDAISYcal]

now I'm off to catch up.

Daisy let me know what wraps you have as I may be interested, you can FB message me.

Sorry not posting I am on DH's laptop quickly to do my work appraisal from last year (to hopefully justify some kind of bonus!) so not meant to be MNetting.

this is the top I have bought to wear with my new jeans on Saturday night - should cover the muffin top/overhang etc nicely

I should just add that DH's relations whose party it is are all really thin and obsessed with food - and always make comments to MIL after seeing us about how fat me and DH are - nice eh? No wonder I am so paranoid about buying something nice to wear!

Rutho like Merry I am also a good 3 or 4 sizes (and 5 stone!) bigger than I was at university - but I was far too skinny then (naturally cos I used to eat so much cr*p!) - the weight just gradually crept on and then having 2 babies in 3 years has just shot my body to pieces

OBS Will Fb you my address - looking forward to Monday, and pinkglow should also be coming....so that makes 4 of us, as choc has confirmed

I have been using grobags from day 1. Absolutely love them, would say they are my favourite baby "thing". Have lots in different tog sizes.

Tiger is bathed every night, with the boys 4 nights out of 7 I would say!! That is hard work but fun, if I am not as organised, I do the 2 older DC's whilst she has a naked kick!!!

For skin, I can't recommend Burts Baby Bee's enough. Having had 2 DC's who have suffered from eczema/dry skin, it is the only thing bar cortison that makes them have super soft "baby skin". I use the whole range, no parabens or other nasties.........Nappy cream particularily good.

Furrypussy (sorry, couldn't resist there is a book called "emotional intelligence" or something that I think you would really benefit from reading. Sure it was by Jane someone........

DM do you not swaddle Tiger?? I am a bit scared about stopping swaddling in case it disturbs his sleep, not sure when you are supposed to?

OH NO - what am I doing on here?!?!

DM thanks, I've a little booklist now, and have ordered two to get on with.

Please don't call me that, I'm not really not that kind of girl
ceebee top looks very pretty

have never, ever swaddled!!!! Don't forget though, that grobags are almost like swaddling with the arms out as they can't be kicked off and I reckon, the LO's feel pretty secure in them - give it a go!!

Gotta go now, DH moaning!!!!!!!!

Merry I'm sure we have all behaved at times in ways we are ashamed of, especially if we feel insecure or ill. FWIW you come across as a very thoughtful and loving person.

Hi ladies - I think A finally gone down in her moses basket at 8.45pm for her "routine" 7pm bedtime .
Just me and A at the mo. Mum and dad got DS tonight and DH gone to his parents (got sky sports) to watch football. So I have been left to do the chores and look after A. Just like in the day time really.
Still not managed to do the "have an hour to myself" everyday new year's resolution as constantly doing something housey or family related. Should be ironing at the mo and all I can manage to do now A down is to stare at the ironing board. I hate ironing anyway but think shouldnt I have at least an hour of chill before bed then dealing with A in the night?!
period - I think I got mine about 4 weeks after A born. So I guess I am due another soon .
sex - DH keeps being very suggestive and making faces like he is going to explode. He even sort of begged me the other day but I refused. So many reasons why to refuse ... only condom contraception and dont want to risk it, I'm too tired/exhausted, not found DH attractive due to our probs, hate my body and finding time. But do like the idea just dont do it. A little shocked at you ladies who have "got back in the saddle" but only because it is the last thing on my mind. SHOULD I FEEL BAD FOR REFUSING DH?
DH - he has actually made an appointment with the doctor about having the snip so that we can resume business . This is a guy who said he would NEVER have it done. Maybe it was the shock of turning emergency midwife?
exercise - WELL DONE to those of you who are dedicated. Anyone live near me and fancy being my motivator?

furrytiger, some of the traits in that link you posted were particularly resonant for me as well, and again not excusing it, but it's when I've been at the lowest point in my depression. Reading all that made me shudder a bit really and thank my lucky stars for a sympathetic and understanding GP and a narrow escape.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that could your mum be suffering from some sort of mental health issue that is making her behave this way?

bumble is officially in 3-6 mo sleepsuits and vests.....that boy is just growing and growing and growing.

vbab, prioritise your ironing. When I was pregnant with DD I stood and did the ironing backlog and it took me nearly six hours. since then, things get smoothed flat and put away (or not as the case may be) and only shirts/blouses/trousers get ironed. I haven't noticed that we look any more crumpled than previously and no-one has commented

and because DH likes to do his own shirts (I do it too quickly apparently which means not as well as him ) he does DS's school stuff, so I iron very rarely these days. It's very liberating!

Had a thought the other day....BOOK CLUB! I have two books in a backlog as Yorky delivered them both together. I doubt anyone has much time for reading these days, so are we going to send them back to the originator? or try an get things going again?

Choco, have fb'd you

Daisy she could well be. I do think it is somesort of personality disorder. But she has been doing this to me for my whole life- that's 38 years.It is a kind of conditioning.

I'm not looking to cure her, I'm trying to sort myself out, as it has affected just about every part of my life. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but I've realised I've spent my whole life trying to get someone to show me love when it's not going to happen. If you know the story of Narcissus and Echo it makes sense.

She has been treated for depression in the last 10 years, but depression is a common thing for narcissists, apparrently. However, lots of people who have depression are not narcissisits. People with early onset alzhimers can also show these traits.

I don't know enough about personality disorders etc. to know why she is the way she is.

I was thinking about the bookclub the other day. I'm happy to carry on, but not everyone is here anymore, are they?

Hello!
I did just read all the posts but don't think I will remember everything!!
hana W was ventouse/ forceps and doesn't like to turn his head to the left and sleeps on the right side (now has a bald patch!) Bit worried about it, physio gave us some exercises to do but might also look into c.o
Ceebee Loveity love your top
Daisy Thanks for offer of sending heat pads - we have a poundstyretcher not too far away so will look in there - if not I may take you up on the offer if that's o.k? BTW soz about your painful nipple - spoils everything doesn't it
Rutho Hi lovely to see you here!
bathing I bathe w eveery night just cos I read somewhere that it helps to chill them out a bit before bed. I think it works...
Weight I lost a bit but have plateaued! Went for larger size hula jeans instead of optimistically thinking I would shrink into my old size!

Hi to everyone else - so sorry to those I've missed

tonguetie W has it officially. Asked dr if releasing it would help with feeding (am getting chomped on) and she said the tongue isn't really what the babes use to feed it's the lower jaw and they don't release them now unless they have difficulty after a year as they expect eating will stretch the tie I'm going to email bfc and if she thinks it will help us I will go back and ask!

Also W is on the 98th centile (whatever that is!) but I think it means he is a big lad! he has been in 3-6 months for a couple of weeks tho!!

furry, not selfish at all; you need to do what you need to do to come to terms with it and move on so it doesn't affect the rest of your life and that of your children. you sound very brave about it all, it must be a hell of a thing to deal with.

bumble, also forceps, has problems with his head and likes to look to the left all the time too. We had a few sessions with the CO when he was brand new, but I might get another appointment. We weren't sure it had done anything for him, but as it was done when he was teeny tiny, who knows how bad he would have been without it.

He has just woken up for the night...oh joy

I'm off for some hula jeans tomorrow, don't want to be excluded from the hula club

night all xx

Daisy thanks, you are a love. I am not brave, I'm very scared at the moment, not sure where I am with anything. TRying not to think about it the whole time. DH being very supportive. And you lovely ladies. Told two RL friends but it was really hard.

DD2 looks right most of the time. I know it's normal for them to prefer one side, but I'm a bit unsure about it, too. I do seem to remember asking the paediatrician at the hosp. when DS was admitted for his bad reaction to 8 week jabs, and he said it was fine, normal, and DS has ahd no probs subsequently- but I wonder now, esp. as I had soo many problems bfeeding him initially.

Crikey! Have just read up on tongue tie and symptons when breastfeeding and is Me!! Nipple blanching and compression and striped nipples. Also takes Will forever to feed and he gets frustrated.
So am going to have to go back to dr and ask for help - even if she thinks tongues are not a major factor in bf-ing..
The very thought of having an enjoyable bf experience for both of us - need to get it sorted asap.

Barb, Max was tongue tied. Did you see my post to Hana ?
If the bf is going well, they prob won't do anything. But if you are struggling with bf, snipping the tongue ( very very quick and ALMOST painless for baby) is recommended.

I hope this is the solution you have been looking for,Barbs.

barb - hope things sorted soon.

arse....mastitis again

Does anyone want to buy a slighty well used left boob? Alwyas the left one that has ishoos, never the right. Why is that?

Barb here is a good article on tongue tied and bf - tonguetied

It shows how ignorant some GP's are. Many fall into the camp, as to many health advisors it seems, of 'lets leave it and see how it goes'. Many are more pro-active.
Mr Patel did Max's at Kings - he is FABAROONEY.
Go back, Barb. Be insistent. Tell them you want it snipped asap - that is if that IS what you want.
Let me know if I can be of any more help to you.

morning!
Have very smiley baby grinning up at me from my lap
Have made appointment with dr this afternoon - not same one as yesterday. Will be insistant!!! Thanks for the article Obs
It's amazing - so many things are falling into palce now - Will has been feeding for hours on end - not just growthspurt - all the time and falling asleep/ resting - must be such hard work. Gets so frustrated too. We have to have the snip - poor lamb.
Did it make a difference to you obs Lacks Gah - sorry about the mastitis
Will it be a trip to th drs for you too?

Yes Barb, made a difference. Took a week and a half or so. But then I realised it had improved dramatically.

Morning all! Just managed to get Fin down for a nap so I am frantically MNing while the peace lasts...

Who was it who recommended the shushing? Whoever it was, you are a bloody GENIUS and I love you! Last night it took all of 10 mins to get Fin down after an evening of wahhing and poo (again, I swear it is his way of protesting bedtime). and he didn't wake up til 5.30 - good baby! So thankyou so very very much as if we had gone another night I would be typing this on Patientline... [melodramatic emoticon].

Right, catchups:

Ceebs, that is a lovely top - I look like heck in pink but I may see if it comes in any other colour as the cut and detailing is ace, and I bet you will look lovely and glam in it. Ignore the rellies - they will all have chicken neck when they are older, whereas we will have lovely smooth skin and still be looking young and buxom!

Incidentally, I am v jealous as I have a party to go to at the end of the month but it is [arrgh] my FIL's 60th and is fancy dress. The theme is MAS*H. Apparently the film, not the TV series . I have never seen either, apart from about half an hour of the film, but I did like the Manics' cover of the theme tune. Ideas for costumes? Or shall I be a rotten old spoilsport and just turn up in normal clothes, claiming no time because of Fin? Default setting is wear killer boots and claim ignorance (or blame Fin for last minute change due to poo/vom?). Poor child gets the blame for all my dubious fashion mistakes.

Dozy, we got given a grobag for Fin (or the sainsburys version) and he hated it. I may give it another go soon, but he likes to wave his legs around and felt all constricted. I think. If I can't get him to use it I may have to get rid.

Hey Vbab, nice one on DH's snip and no, don't feel bad. I have a book called something like "Sex for New Mums" or whatever and it says that his sexual frustration is his to deal with and don't feel pressured, although it does recommend [ahem] being there for him while he sorts himself out, just so he doesn't feel like a sad wanker! The book is pretty okay but v "sharey" - there is no way I am going to do some of the stuff in it, far too many scented candles and drapey scarves - but it did make me feel more positive about sex and PMSL at the unintentionally amusing bits!

Lacks, ironing? What is that? DH does a shirt a day, 2 mins before leaving the house in it, and Fin and I slob about in crumpled clothes looking like hell - Gina would bitch-slap me to the floor and tell me to pull myself together! I was obsessed with ironing pre-birth but I think that was nesting as it has never happened before or since.
Sorry to hear about your mastitis coming back, poor you.

Barb, your GP thinks tongues aren't an essential part of bfing? BLoody GPS! Again! Have you got a local bfing counsellor? Not much help with tied but at least she knows what she's on about, which is a nice change. Mine is brilliant and a mum herself and knows loads about boobs and babies, unlike my GP who seemed unsure about which end of Fin was which. And you can stop laughing cos he's a pretty baby with a lot of hair - he does not look like a bottom! I'm with Obs, get an expert in!

Hi Furry, loads of hugs to you and let me know if there's any way I can help. I don't think we live a million miles apart so if you want a visit after I get my sodding car back, give me a shout.

Right, dry hair, do laundry, go to post office - I may go into town to try on some Hula jeans while I'm at it...

lacks, my left boob always has more ishoos, but only with engorgement and ducts! have had some advice from the bfing thread and the twins thread, but i think yours was the best! have come up with my own 'system' and trying it out.

blimey, the lady in the close carrier web page is v glam, but am more
of her house and garden. WOWEEEEEEEEE! Are either of the slings easier to manage? And how much? FB me the details if you want to get rid of one? My babies prefer to be upright anyway, and love the Baby Bjorn, but not used recently as it was doing my back in when they were lighter than they are now. I am also going to learn how to wrap the African way (on the back, easier to do cooking), but just haven't got round to learning it yet...all you need is a bit of cloth like a single sheet.

vbab, lacks said it all when it comes to ironing. I actually don't iron ANYTHING! Oh my goodness. It is true. I don't work though, so don't really have to be smart. Deliberately buy clothes which don't require a lot of ironing. Dry shirts/ dresses on hangers etc. With linen I do the crinkle look (it goes like that after 2 seconds anyway). Never, ever iron kids clothes.

barbs, so glad you have [hopefully] found solution to W's issues. Remind me when your dh is away, is it next week or week after.

bravefurrytiger, lacks is right - you are. Don't think you are being selfish either. 38 years is a long time to deal with that (don't think early alzeimers would last that long ). Am surprised you managed to stick it for so long.

DM i love grobags too, (and all the other sleepsacks) though I have no idea about TOG. If they feel cold I put a blanket over it as well. It has been chilly past couple of nights.

GFLite, am struggling! Caved in last night. Babies were downstairs with dh till midnight. I needed my 3 hours sleep. Have been putting them to bed at 8, but often don't go down till 10-ish and then back up at midnight. Grrrr. Trying to express last bottle before bed and realised they are not drinking enough, so today I am making them go longer between feeds. It's a slow process! Have been bathing every other night, makes no difference either way and it is a pain, so not sure if will continue that,