June 08: All we want for Christmas is a good night's sleep!

[bitofasnowqueen]

New thread!

you're right Five. The bit where she goes "Daddy, my Daddy" does it everytime for me.

Deb just x- posted: your post was lovely and made me well up. Crikey, I really do need to get a grip of myself.

Happy Birthday Debs!!!!

What lovely presents you got - the pictures sound gorgeous!

Ali, yep, English Patient is another one that is soooooooooo sad!

A is back on solids after his poorly tummy - presently demolishing some toast and loving it! I think he must be on the mend as he necked a whole bottle at 4am and then another one at 9am which he hasn't done in a long time.

5godmad - fab news on S sleeping through!

5GoMad and Ali you bad girls - I teared up just thinking about 'Daddy, my Daddy'!! That's on TV this week as well. (5GoMad nearly cried for you having to get up before 7 though - that's really horrible. You must be so tired. Do you have time off over Christmas?)

Iestyn refused to take any food this morning. Got into quite a state really, so I gave up. Unsure how to proceed now. I'm getting quite concerned that my nipple is the only thing he's willing to have in his mouth.

Off to meet a friend now. Yay!

Happy 40th Debs!!

After my 'chat' with Mark last night about how we would do nights when I go back to work and me saying it was rare for Luke to cry in the night, just to prove me wrong he was up for nearly an hour and a half crying!!!!! 4.15 onwards. Maybe he heard our conversation and did it to spite me. What will I do if he does that every night and I have to work? Mark has refused to do nights. He said it would be impossible for him to do his job without a proper sleep. He did allude heavily to the fact that if the nights thing becomes a major issue I would have to give up work. I felt like crying, it was horrible. He said he supported me going back to work because it's what I needed to do but he didn't say that was as long as he didn't need to change anything in his life to compensate. As it is I would need to get up, get myself dressed and ready, get the baby ready, feed him, take him to nursery, do a full day's work, pick him up, take him home, bath him, feed him and put him to bed whilst then putting a wash on, put the other stuff to dry, feed myself, clear up a bit and then crash out. That's why I need the baby to learn to sleep so badly.

Welcome to working motherhood Amber. Sorry to sound so unsympatheitic but I have been doing that since DS was 8 says, admittedly with alot more support from DH than you seem to be getting. Sorry for sounding so short tempered but tired after having got up at 6 to sort out brekfasts for guests sorting out bottles, DC's then more brekfasts doing 2 loads of laundry, trying to figure when I am going to do the B&B ironing between now and Staurday when the next lot come in (after I have done washing tomorrow after tonights lot have gone. Then also have to take DS to HV, wrap and deliver some more presents, bath children and myself and try to eat supper before 9.30.

Happy birthday debs , you got some lovely gifts.

My mum was over this weekend and we had our christmas meal with her which was really lovely. The children opened thier presents from her so it almost feels as if we have already had christmas in our house! On christmas day we are going to dp's parents house which the kids will enjoy as their cousins will be thre and it will probably be the last christmas they see them for a very long time as they are emigrating.

Amber DP never gets up for ds in the night but he does for the girls as it's so rare that they do wake. I don't know how it would work if I did have to work but I imagine as DP is th ehigher earner and it would have a much bigger impact if he lost his job I would have to do it.

Hi everyone, have been away at my mum's for a bit, and this is the first chance I've had to sit down and catch up with the thread.

Katyjo, oh bless you, we are fine thank you, but I would have loved to have seen you and Mia (and Hamish) anyway. Let's meet up sometime in the New Year. Laura, if you're lurking, would love to see you again too, and BSQ also of course.

DP got back late last night, we ended up having a very late dinner and too much (for me anyway - I am such a lightweight now) wine. Those two weeks felt very long, and I'm not looking forward to him going away again in January.

However, I am now officially ready for Santa, and very excited about Christmas for the first time in years. Having some friends over this afternoon, so just about to start making the mince pies. Our Christmas tree is obscenely overdecorated - no mimimal good taste for us this year. Impossible to get near it now for the pile of pressies underneath. Boot of my car was like Santa's sleigh coming back from my mum's and it took me 5 trips up the stairs to get everything out!!!

Hope you are all well - have skimmed so apologies for missing anything - Josey, am thinking about you and Oli, and happy birthday Deb.

Amber, I'm also wondering how I will cope with going back to work. Had a minor breakthrough on the sleeping last night - I left the bedside light on, and B only woke up once (that he fussed about anyway) to be fed and then went back to sleep. So maybe the poor little sausage doesn't like the dark! Will try it again tonight and see if it's a one off or not.

Thanks for all the Birthday wishes, I am now the proud owner of 2 watches - 1 "unique" one from my Dad made of coconut shell!!! and 1 lovely one from mil, sil and bil, £250 premium bonds from my Dad too, continental chocs, and a Nintendo Ds lite from my Mum The boys are soooo jealous, but I suppose I could share it . Also had flowers delivered from my best friend in the UK.

Happy Christmas everyone if I don't get back on.

Happy birthday Debs, hope you are having a fab time.

Amber, you are far more patient than me. I would have gone ballistic at your dh's refusal to help out. Everyone needs sleep and suggesting his sleep is more important than yours is absolute crap. I am a sahm and I do all the night wakings for feeds as J is breastfed, but if he doesn't go straight back to sleep, or is wet and needs changing then dh gets up with him and gets him back to sleep. J does wake to feed every 2 hours, so if I were up for a long period as well I think I would just cease to function, which given I have 3 kids to take of would not be good. Fortunately dh also thinks this is fair and he never moans about an occasional night session.

5gomad - you sound so exhausted in your post. I really hope you will get some tim e off to rest and chill over xmas.

Dh is hopefully going to be home early today and I am already planning to escape into a long hot bath. As a fulltime mum the bathroom is my haven from the kids and the only time I have on my own ever! Although they do tend to pretend they need the loo and come and visit me. Ideally I will hide in there with a small of glass for an hour or so, but normally one of them will sidle past dh after a while to come and play with the bubbles.

Forgot to add, Josey, I hope you manage to have a lovely christmas and my thoughts are with you and Olivia. I'm also not sure if she is in hospital or not but I really hope you get to enjoy her first christmas.

Happy birthday Debs!!!! You are not old at all . Glad you got good pressies!

Got to see that Neverland film I think!

Re. sleeping through - mine have forgotten how to as well, tho last night was the best night for a while. I went to bed at 9.30 cos I was so tired... Theo woke at 10.30 and Esther at 12.30 but that was it till morning. But I still feel knackered and went back to bed at lunch time for a couple of hours. I think it is a combination of teeth, their colds and maybe not getting the mix of milk and food right. They are better when they have calpol so i think it is prob the teeth and cold!

Amber, could you give up your job and do something else, maybe voluntary work or something so that you are not a full-time mum but not working full-time either. Am I right in thinking you don;t need to work for the money (10x your income must be a lot!)? Don't go back full-time if you don't have to and don't want to. I think you would be quite mad!

5GoMad, you do sound at your wit's end... hope things get better for you soon (only 17.5 years until your LO is off to uni and you can relax a bit )

Amber I really feel for you. Kind of a similar situation here with DH living and breathing his job so I know what it is like when they don't want to appear at work that family life is compromising their professional performance. The difference for us is that as I BF I do almost all wake up calls. Sometimes I will boot James out of bed at 6am when I need some catch up sleep, but even then he can only entertain P for an hour until more milk is required. However I do think that it is really important for one's sanity to know that there is someone else to step in when it gets too much in the night. Mark refusing to engage in nights isnt helpful especially as you have a history of problems sleeping IIRC. Try to remember that Luke will oneday sleep through. It might not be next week or next month, but one day it will sort itself out...

Luckily for us I seem to be fairly content being understimulated at home . If I go back to work FT I think we would struggle to fit everything in.

Today, I am currently failing to wrap presents because P keeps rolling over and crying faster than I can co-ordinate paper and sellotape. So far this afternoon I have managed to wrap one toaster and cook some veg for P before he had a complete meltdown. It is slightly vexing. Back on MN as P is having a snoozy feed on me.

Five I am fully aware of the hard work it is to be a working mother . My problem was with the injustice of having to do all the nights as well, as my ability to function on a full night's sleep is considered less important than the other half's.

Yes Ali I do have anxiety related insomnia and neenz it is harder to get a part time charity job than you think! I tried once before and all they had was working in the shop selling old jumpers. I need something more mentally challenging ! Anyway I am going to shut up about it now and hope that Luke learns to sleep in the next month and a half...

The Champ is my all time favourite teary film. My brother used to pretend to be asleep so we didn't catch him crying. I havent seen it on tv for ages!

Amber I'm sorry your chat didnt go so well with Mark. Could you possibly afford to get some help in?I know I would if I could Does Mark work Sat & Sun? If not, then not much of an excuse for him not to give you Fri and Sat nights off. Try not to worry about it too much (easy for me to say I know) sometimes the thought of something is worse than it really is.

whinegums good to see you back. I'd def be up for a meet up in the new year.

5gomad sorry things are so hectic for you.

Sounds like you were spoiled on your birthday deb - I'm sure you deserve it.

Right, despite all my christmas chores I still have no idea how I'm going to get everything done for Christmas, so best get on with it!

I am sorry Amber - I was feeling bad, howver I didn't want to say that your DP was being a prat because I think you know that, what I also wanted to say that you are in the very fortunate position of having a DP at home. Libra has been having weeks of having to get 2 children ready to leave the house by 6.30 am to take them to her mothers before she starts work at 7 until 6 when she will then pick them up and do bathtime bed and then washing, ironing feed herself adn then do it all again the next day when her husband is away working most weeks. She has also found out that she is to be made redudnat and she is also the major breadwinner. You are in the fortunate position of not having to go back to work. Perhaps you should be looking at part time stuff. Josey is in the same position so is AH I guess
And on that note I will say Happy Christmas to one and all and will catch up after the New Year.

I shall consider myself to be very lucky then.

Amber - Does Mark realise that the money thing is irrelevant and that you want to go back to work for your sanity? Anyway, don't worry about it for the next few weeks. Honestly the anticipation of going back to work has been so much worse than the reality for me.

Perhaps if Luke is still not sleeping, you could consider the night nanny and/or a cleaner to make life easier.

5GoMad - You are sounding really stressed and I hope you are able to take a break over Xmas and relax. Glad to hear that your DH is supportive.

Libra/5gomad - Sympathise on the early starts. I'm getting up at 5.30am ATM for work. The tubes are quiet, but I am shattered. Hoping for a lay in over the next few days. Gutted to be working tomorrow too.

Work is going well, altho it is depressing. I am a project manager in HR and my current project is to manage the redundancy process for 50% of the employees. And then I'll find out whether I'll be made redundant too.... Ironically I am finding work much easier than i ever used to. It is less demanding in a way than motherhood. Much more mentally challenging, but less relentless on an hour to hour basis.

Not sure where the sad film chat came from, I seem to have missed a page, but It's a Wonderful Life is my fave. Plan to watch it tomorrow night after Ryder has gone to bed.

Meeting up with two special Mums and their boys tomorrow for a curry and am very excited about it! Hope you all have wonderful Xmas Eves, looking forward to Xmas photos. You can see some of Ryder here

Amber - Does Mark realise that the money thing is irrelevant and that you want to go back to work for your sanity? Anyway, don't worry about it for the next few weeks. Honestly the anticipation of going back to work has been so much worse than the reality for me.

Perhaps if Luke is still not sleeping, you could consider the night nanny and/or a cleaner to make life easier.

5GoMad - You are sounding really stressed and I hope you are able to take a break over Xmas and relax. Glad to hear that your DH is supportive.

Libra/5gomad - Sympathise on the early starts. I'm getting up at 5.30am ATM for work. The tubes are quiet, but I am shattered. Hoping for a lay in over the next few days. Gutted to be working tomorrow too.

Work is going well, altho it is depressing. I am a project manager in HR and my current project is to manage the redundancy process for 50% of the employees. And then I'll find out whether I'll be made redundant too.... Ironically I am finding work much easier than i ever used to. It is less demanding in a way than motherhood. Much more mentally challenging, but less relentless on an hour to hour basis.

Not sure where the sad film chat came from, I seem to have missed a page, but It's a Wonderful Life is my fave. Plan to watch it tomorrow night after Ryder has gone to bed.

Meeting up with two special Mums and their boys tomorrow for a curry and am very excited about it! Hope you all have wonderful Xmas Eves, looking forward to Xmas photos. You can see some of Ryder here

Just a quick one cos I'm off to write a Christmas grocery shopping list - life in the bus lane eh?!

Amber, I can't believe how unhelpful Mark is being and I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed about it. Hope that, as PP says, the reality is not as bad as the anticipation. I know that is not very helpful - I can have a word with Mark if you think it would help?!

PP, I'm with you on a Wonderful Life too - beautiful film.

All those with full on work loads and absent dhs, hope you are getting some respite over the Christmas period.

Hi to everyone else .

PP, love the vid of Ryder doing his sky diving pose on the floor - so cute!

I have visions of Mark being attacked by a gang of sleep deprived angry (but yummy) mummies from this thread...

PP, the pics of Ryder are gorgeous - he is a real little boy (People always say the same about Theo)

Now come on ladies, it's not a competition to see who has the hardest life, tho it has been an eye-opener for me to see what others have to do/put up with work-wise. I am lucky that I don't have to work and don't want to either. Amber, I hear you re. working in a charity shop [bored] but I have watched Secret Millionaire... there are loads of community projects out there . You could even start something yourself or start something work-wise from home. Put Luke in nursery three days or five mornings and crack on. It's none of my business but I just cannot see how you are going to be happy going back to work full-time. But if you really are set on it then a night nanny is definitely the way to go!

The Facebook lactaction campaign.... I was so enraged when I heard that FB bans pics of women BFing I just had to post my fave pic ever of me tandem feeding the twins. It really wasn;t for public consumption (as it were) but I just had to... I did think twice cos all Peter's mates are on FB and I am not bothered about them seeing my boobs (I have had them out to feed in front of them all!) but I can just see them all rolling their eyes saying 'N's off on one again' . They all think I am a bit weird. But that is why Peter likes me... I am a challenge .

I have been feeling a bit rough these last few days... having to go back to bed and feeling achy. Thought I might be PG but the last time I thought I might be PG i had mastitis so probably have beginnings of that again . Hopefully can knock it on the head with lots of feeding.

Tee hee!!! Thanks for cheering me up ladies - girl power!

Can't wait until Christmas morning to open all Luke's pressies I'm more excited about them than my own!

Essie how is Iestyn doing now - IIRC he has dropped off the chart ?

I was thinking about that and I know he is small and needs to gain but the chart is based on FF and BF babies plus babies who are weaned before 26 weeks so I wouldn't worry too much about his weight as long as he is not losing. Does your mum have any success getting food down him? I was amazed at my mum's ability to shovel food in the twnis!