Nov 2008 - sleepless nights and exploding poo, dear oh dear now what do we do??

[Dozymare]

Sorry that is soooo crap but we needed a new thread!!!!!

Morning.
We had have 2 or 3 consecutive good nights. I mean asleep all night .
down at 7pm. Up at 10pm, 2am,4am,7am. Quick feeds and straight back to sleep.
To us this is a result.

Tegan, no I haven't had any vaccine study letter.
Twinkling, dh does not do anything 11pm-6am. But I think that is o.k. becasue he works. And he does the 7/8pm-11pm shift. I am happy with this.
I still think he has NO IDEA what looking after a baby 8am-5pm is like. actually 24 hrs. Becasue I don't really get a break as such. I think dh has no idea.
Sorry to hear that dh is in pub. Agree with dozy when she says that all dads go through bad patch. I nearly left dh when ds1 was a few weeks old. The shock to both of us of ds arriving. Dh was very unsupportive. Seriously. And my mother revels in reminding me of this period when dh was a nightmare. With ds2 it has been no problem.

I, Like Jinglebuzz, need to shout at ds less.

Choc - re Sleeping through, ds1 dropped 10pm at about 8/9 wks. then 2am feed. slept through (7pm-6am)at 13 weeks. And has EVER since, even when ill, through chicken pox, everything. Can count on hands the number of times, I have even needed to get up to him, in the 4.10 years. Just fluke I think.
I think consensus on Mn is 50:50, some just drop a feed, and others it gettings later and later/earlier and earlier until it blends/disappears.
No idea as to why some children do it and others don't.

coolkat, come on over for some coffee cake
jealous of londonboots in the sun.
god it is bitter here.
Daisy, how are you doing ?

I mentioned we are going to NY Eve party. In pub of dh's best friend. My lovely lovely sil has offered/asked to have ds1. She knows in detail all our night problems.

But I am not sure I want to give ds1 to her for the night. But dh says it will be good for me to have the break form him. True. Why do I feel so clingy/possessive ?

Do I give my lovely sil ds2 for the night ?

Sorry, sil has offered to have ds2, not ds1, ds2 !!

ds1, aged nearly 5 will come to pub. to party. he and I will probably be asleep, exhausted at 9pm, anyway

But do I leave my tiny baby with sil ?
I know the break would do me good. But why do I not want to leave him ?

Morning

Obs I am the wrong person to ask about leaving my babies overnight - the only 2 nights I have spent away from DS1 were the 2 in hospital having Sam. For some reason I can't bear the thought of leaving either of them with anyone other than DH But if you are ok with it, than snatch your SIL's hand off!

Twinkling sorry your DH is being a pain - I am sure it is just a phase and, as the others have said, some sort of reaction to having another baby.

Tegan I haven't had that letter either - maybe it is local to your area?

Which reminds me, I must ring the doctors to make an appointment for my 6 week checkup and get some contraception sorted. Misdee I am also considering the implant as I really can't face having to take the pill again and I know we are not planning on any more children.

Is anyone else worried about Rutho? It has been ages since she last posted and she was clearly having problems - although I am hoping it is just that she is enjoying the festive period with her family.

A better night here again last night. He was settled in bed by 1am, quick feed and that was him till 6.30. It's too early to see a pattern, but I think we are turning a corner. I'm hoping that the good nights will soon start to outnumber the bad.

twinkling, sorry you are felling a bit glum about things. You need to talk to your DH I think, or it'll just fester. In those situations with my DH, I always try and couch in terms of me, rather than him so he doesn't feel picked at....."I feel", rather than "you always". I don't always succeed though and know I come over as a bit of a nagging, whinging old bag.

DH is doing allright by us at night and stays up with bumble in the early part of the night, handing him over to me at 1am. that way he gets at least 5 hours uninterrupted sleep. He's still on the sofa as well. WE have shared a bed once in over eight weeks; not great, but sleep is much more important at the minute.

co-sleeping makes night feeds much more bearable; no getting up in the cold

obs, ikwym about wanting to leave DS2, and if it were me, I couldn't at such a young age......but, you have been through such a lot and have been at the brink of a nervous breakdown by your posts, so perhaps a night off, getting sleep would do you the world of good, a chance to recharge your batteries? Enjoy the party whatever you decide

We are having a quiet New Year . DHs family don't really do the all the family together thing very often, and MIL doesn't cook so we never get an invite to theirs. I struggle with New Year the most down here as it's so different to what I'm used to, which is all the family and extended family together in one place.

I was just thinking about rutho yesterday. I've sent her a fb message.

Yes, I too have been thinking about Rutho, Ceebee. Hope she is o.k.

I don't know what to do re party. Haven't been out, on NYEve for ..... can't remember , more than 6 years. Esp not to a party. And dh really wants to go. It is his bf's. And I too want to go. Just not sure about leaving ds2.

obs I've left DS2 overnight twice now with SIL I really missed him but also really enjoyed myself too. If you think you will be OK go for it - You deserve a break

Hope Rutho is OK

DS1 is off to a toddlers pantomime today with GPs so we are going to have a good clean up while he is gone!All I need to do know is work out how to put DS2 down for more then 2 minutes - the boy likes a cuddle grr!

I know how everyone with older DCs feel, I sometimes feel that I have no time for him and shout constantly at him, then he getsupset and I feel so awful. But sometimes he is sooo naughty and needs checked it does make me though!

We are going to a party at a friends on NYE with both DSs we probably won't be there all night ut are hoping they might go to sleep upstairs so we can at least see midnight!

Tegan Jay had the brain stem test too - I thought he looked like a teletubbie he too passed no problem!

Hi to anyone I have missed

morning!
I too am nak so apologies for mistakes!
Good night again for us although W didn't get a huge feed at midnight so woke an hour and half later - but then slept til 7.30 when dh woke us! yay!
was supposed to be getting W registered tioday but need to go to docs so have cancelled. Feel naughty as you're meant to have it done by 6 weeks but it's not life or death is it and my nipple pain is getting so bad that I decided to make docs a priority. Think it's defo thrush tho. Awful - especially hurty in cold

yes - where is Rutho and drswife? hope they are both o.k.

agree with hana re: dh. despite the fact that i do the most care of W he is a great support doing all the other jobs, cooking etc - even passing me drinks off the coffee table while i'm feeding w!

Obs i would have difficulty leaving W too. so far none of our families have met him yet tho as they are in yorkshire

anyway better go and get organised for drs. have a good day all!

Oh God what misery!!
Dr suggested nipplr shields - had to beg for a tablet. She suggested pain was psycological (sp) and a nipple shield would trick me into thinking it wouldn't hurt. Got home and right nipple is agony- in tears. My pump is broken (got it second hand - has always been broken) So need another one to get milk out of my boob so don't get engorged. So phoned dh and he reckons go buy a pump but that means going out again and it's so cold my nipple is so painful. oh god. But I'm going to have top go aen't I?
Sorry

oh, barbs, so sorry for your nasty nips and horrible doctor. Psychological my arse

Interesting though that you said it hurt in the cold. Could it be vasospasm. Since learning more about BFing, I'm now sure that this is what I had with DS1 and what caused me to give up at 5.5 weeks. If only I'd known about MN or kellymom back then.

Can you see a breastfeeding counsellor? If you are a member of the NCT your local counsellor will be listed in the branch newsletter. If not, then call the NCThelpline and they will put you in touch with someone local to you. Might be worth getting your latch checked out.

Could DH pop into Boots on the way home and get a new pump for you?

Hi all. Barbs. Wow, I am jealous. And choc. Mine went down briefly for a day nap in their cot and I was over the moon! First time since we came to Mum and Dad's. I was supposed to get them into cot sleeping whilst here. I will try the static. They like Classic FM though.

Dhs' (that go bump) in the night. Mine takes babies till midnight. I go to sleep at somewhere between 8.30-10pm. If I have been up more than a couple of hours in the night, then I wake him too. But he is not working...he doesn't grump about it.

I was shocked and even a bit tearful today. I phoned my doctor to make an appointment for my 6 week check (it's about 10 weeks since they were born but hey!). Anyway, they said they don't do them anymore! Is this normal? I have heard you guys saying that you've had a check. I just think this is unbelievable since I have had supposed 'major operation' (c-section) and no-one has checked up on me physically or emotionally since the midwife left me at 13 days after the birth. Surgery said if there is anything wrong I can come in, but there is no check for me.

Well, the babies have their check on Friday and I am going to butt in to ask for my Anti D's. vbab, a quick word about AD's. It doesn't mean you have a mental health issue...sometimes you can just be going through difficult circumstances and they help get you through until things get better and then you can stop. I avoided them for ages, because of stigma and didn't want my family to think I was bonkers but basically I didn't tell them I was taking them exept dh. I still feel more comfortable that way, although most of my friends know...anyway, they made such a difference to my life, I am now the biggest fan! Sorry. I just think it's so worth giving it go if they work and if they don't, nothing has been lost.

Sorry to Barb for sore norks and unsympathetic doctor. Good to see MerryM. Shocked at lack of checks. 6wk for baby. 8 wk for mum. immunisations at 8 wks aswell. so what about them then? are they not even offering you imms ? Astonished. That can't be right.

Just to let you know that I have just got off the phone with Autumnlady. She has had no internet access so been unable to post. But using her blackberry she has been reading the thread.
She has had a few problems and has had to move back to her parents, down near Bluewater. Infact, this afternoon, when I phoned, she was retail therapying there, so, atleast we know she is kitted out and looking the 'dogs bollocks' , if nothing else.
She said James was a sweetie, smiling, feeding well.
Cricri and i have arranged to meet her at Bluewater in a couple of weeks, for more retail therapy. We will let you know how much our new 'spangely' hotchick-mummy, outfits cost us.

Merry, our surgery don't do the mum check as routine, but if you think you need to be seen you can make an appointment.

that's a shame about Autumnlady and her problems . She has made some comments recently on my fb status so I knew she was about, but not on here.

merry, sorry, meant to say the lack of regard for you physical and mental health post section is pretty shitty.

Bumble has his immunisations next week...a bit late due to Christmas and New Year.

I went shopping today, to the Harlequin at Watford. I wore my hot new Boots and skinny jeans and size 20 top. I didn't make it further than John Lewis!! Still, got some cute clothes for Twinsters next year...bright red treousers and stripey tops. Also some Adidas trainers half price. I love trainers. Haven't had any for 2 years since I stepped in dog poo and left the trainer outside and it got rained on and ruined! Supposed to get some light fittings for our house, but JL sold out of all their sale lights. Gosh, bet you are interested...

Obs, glad autumnlady is well and y'all are meeting up. If we have a London meet up, somewhere drivable would be best for me. Can't do the double mountain plus babies on the tube!!! But would love to show them off and see your l'il cuties too.

Obs, the baby get their checks but just not me. In fact surprised at lack of care for me (sob, sob). Not had that 'depressed' questionnaire from HV either. Passed by too quickly, and just all about babies. Not heard about imms yet. I have to get BCG off my own bat, but the rest not heard about.

daisy thanks for the link!Sorry that you had to give up bfing DS1 - have been feeling that I might have to too I totally fit the symptoms but do for thrush too . I have noticed a white stripe on my nipple after Will has fed and they are often mishapen after too. Managed to give Will right boob after I had warmed up an hour ago - painful but more bearable. So that fits vasospasm.
The time has definitely come to see a bfc. I think I have known this for a while but battled on - I think I've been putting it off thinking it will get better on it's own but clearly it's not going to.
Sorry for the me me me ramble!

Evening ladies and babies (oh, I'm a poet and I didn't know it )

Barb your dr sounds rubbish - perhaps get a second opinion?? I feel cold all the time at the moment and it seems to radiate from my nipples - even when its warm sometimes I get a shooting cold feeling in them.

Merry I had a 6 week check today for me and M but tbh it wasn't worth much - it felt like the dr was doing a bit of a tick the box exercise. I can't believe the lack of support you've had especially considering you have twins!

Glad to hear Autumnlady and LO are well - hello if you are reading!

Obs how far away is your NYE party?? I know what you mean about leaving the LO's - I did go out a couple of weeks ago into London (2 hour roundtrip) and left him with my mum, stepdad and sister but I was texting them every 30 mins to check up. Perhaps if you aren't too far away you know you can always go back if need be?

We have booked a table at a local gastropub for tomorrow night for me, DH and my dad who is visiting from America. We'll have dinner at 7.30 and then come back and have a bottle of champers - if I can last till midnight! GF wouldn't be happy with me taking M out at that time but I figure (hope!) one naughty night will be ok!

Hana I too am intrigued by your AP - and when you say F "helps himself" does that mean he is in a sling and then BF when he wants - he doesn't need help to be positioned/latched on? Do you do all the AP-ing or does your DH do some too? Its very interesting, and thats why MN is so great - so many different people with different lifestyle choices. Its almost like we all have 50 different babies!

M has been really miserable yesterday and today - he seems really windy / uncomfortable and has been sick after every feed (was a bit annoyed with the dr today who flippantly said "he has colic" as it felt like a catch all fix-it solution) - he seems to have some very happy days and some miserable ones so I am a bit confused by the inconsistency to just say its colic. Last night he took almost 2 hours to feed and settle at 3am (v unusual for him as he usually goes straight back to bed) and he only settled after falling asleep on the breast. We have booked in for a Cranial Osteopath appointment on Friday (someone recommended it as I had a ventouse delivery) so I hope this might help him, I hate to see him so uncomfortable.

Merry christmas dear ladies. Just finished reading through - sorry to hear some of you are feeling so down ( Vbabs - I think lacks is right and you should speak to your HV). Glad some of you are getting some sleep, or more than normal anyhow!
LOL at Obs and her killer heels and cake-baking...you nut job!

We had a lovely xmas with my family in the end. DH managed to drag himself out of his pit for us to travel up north. Plumski got loads of attention and loved it all. Was a really good girl, and slept whilst we ate xmas lunch, and then slept through the night for the very first time - from 11:30 - 6:45am! Was in total shock, as were my boobs! She must have been exhausted from all the new people etc.
Since then, she's slept a 5 hour stretch each night so I feel like progress is happening. But the rest of the day is a complete shambles as far as a routine is concerned.

Got to go as got to make something to eat. DH has been in bed all afternoon as still not 100%.

Love to all - hope those feeling blue have a better start to 2009. New year, new beginning and all that. Bye for now xxx

Choc just read your post. Plumski also has some days when she screams all night - am assuming its colic? It's awful. I am also booked in for cranial osteopath next week. good luck with M and enjoy your new years eve. We are going to stay at friends in Cranleigh for a low-key dinner and stay the night.

Daisy please can I ask you a nappy question?
I have a load of nappies that I want to sell but ebay has just removed my listings as it breaches the selling of used underwear policy I am stunned people would do that but hey that is beside the point. All of them save 1 or 2 ar almost brand new and have hardly ben used and I was wondering if there is anywhere you can sell them?

sorry to butt in there but I spent the majority of my afternoon listing things on ebay grr

hey all - good evening to you all!!

vbab how are you doing today???? I agree with others, your DH should be helping more, especially if he is off work as well. Mine is off and we are pretty much doing everything 50/50.....if he is working, then I agree with obs that even in the evening he still needs to do something - even if it is only clearing dinner stuff away. Not fair otherwise.

daisy how is the tonsillitis??

choc gastropub sounds lovely - what one?! We are staying in and cooking but I can alwayhs dream of a night out (incidentally, perhaps that is what we should do very soon?!)

obs always up for a meet up - will need to be Monday or Weds from 2009 as DS2 nursery days have changed........

Hana thanks for answering - I like the name nosydozy Like choc am totally fascinated and respectful of your AP. Do you have a set time you will do it for or wait until LO asks to leave the family bed? (is that what happens??!)

merry I to am shocked at your crap hospital care, I reckon you shold complain..

Autumn glad you are reading and keeping up - if you are at your parents indefinately, we should deffo arrange a soiree..........as you know, not far away from me or choc at all.....

Tiger had her jabs today and is very, very unsettled - for the first time since she was a tiny, she is down here with us tonight. In fact I am NAKING as she is so unsettled. Gave her calpol and sems a bit better. I hate giving the injections, she was so good and smily as well, gurgling at the doctor before hand.........

Finally,, a revelation.....as you know, we in the Dozy household love our food.....today, for the very first time, and on recommendation of a couple of friends, we ventured to Lidl. Have jsut eaten their £5 (!) lobster (frozen, from US) very lovely with a chilli butter sauce and we bought a goose for toimorrow night for jsut £20!!! from their finest range. The goose we had Xmas day cost £70 so we are testing to see if you can tell the difference.....

Will KEEP YOU POSTED!!!

jingle took so long replying to eveyone, that I x posted iwth you....what nappies do you have? I am about to start using reuseables for the very first time now Tiger has reached 10lbs so could be interested???????

Evening

Obs thanks for the update on Autumnlady - hope her problems sort themselves out and glad James is ok

Mari jealous of your shopping trip - I am so not in the mood for clothes shopping as it is so depressing at the moment - in fact, all I ordered from the Next sale for me were
2 chunky rings as at least they fit Am also surprised about your lack of support - I have seen the HV twice and I am going to the docs for my 6-week appointment on Friday - although I did have to ring up and make the appointment so I wonder that if I hadn't, it just wouldn't have happened. I think the main purpose of that appointment is to sort out contraception - that is certainly what it seemed to be with DS1.

Margot glad you got away for Christmas in the end and had a fab time

Daisy I meant to post this yesterday but forgot! My mum is definitely convinced that the time of day a baby is born affects their sleeping habits - my 2 were both born during the day and have been 'good' sleepers. Out of my sister's 3, the worst sleeper was the one born late evening - so maybe that is why F is a nocturnal baby? Maybe we should post a quick poll thread to see

Am still struggling to work out on earth I am going to get DS1 to nursery next week when DH is away as I want to walk (for my own benefit/exercise) but DS1 won't wear reins, I can't trust him to hold onto the pram without doing a runner, probably won't walk all the way anyway, and seems to have gone off the pushchair aswell...my latest thought it to buy a Thomas stroller from Mothercare which, because it is Thomas, he may be persuaded to sit in and have Sam in the sling - however it will be a gamble costing £35 if it doesn't work.

Oh I forgot to say - we really need to get this Northern meet-up organised - the Southerners are on about their 5th one