Nov 2008 - sleepless nights and exploding poo, dear oh dear now what do we do??

[Dozymare]

Sorry that is soooo crap but we needed a new thread!!!!!

oh Vbab, this doesn't sound good. How can we help you ?
Tell us more. Goodness this sounds bad. Big hugs and , would you like a slice of my coffee cake that I made at 4.30 am ? !!!!

vbab

You need to talk to someone lovely {{{{{hugs}}}}. Call your HV or make an appointment at the GP; sounds like things might be getting on top of you a bit. And you need to make your DH see the effect his actions have on you. email me if you need to chat; I have been feeling similarly shite the last few days and struggling a bit.

lol obs at your early morning baking session . I wish we were neighbours and I could come to yours with my wide awake baby, or vice versa. bumble, too has reverted to type again and didn't settle till after 3am, but it was nice while it lasted

I have had a hissy fit at my DS this morning and ended up us both screaming at each other, me chasing him upstairs and smacking his bottom for him being cheeky and rude and constantly pulling at/trying to cuddle/sitting on/wrestling DD and making her cry and either not listening/ignoring/refusing to acknowledge or respond when he is being told off. I'm feeling incredibly wound up by everything as well.

twinkling, I have had depression since DS1 was a baby and I suppose I use MN as therapy. Chatting on here takes my mind off things . I had been feeling great when DH was here to help, but since he has been back at work I'm struggling to cope again. Feel pretty useless as a parent at the minute , but I know it feels worse than it is due to illness and sleep deprivation.

Hello all

vbab so sorry you are having troubles - keep talking about it to whoever you can, if thats not family / friends then keep telling us as I think it is best to talk about these things. And you know you will always get support on here.

Obs and Daisy pleased to hear about the better sleeping - long may it continue! Dozy am very at TL sleeping 10.30-6. M is showing no signs of sleeping through - he usually wakes for a feed between 2.30-3.30 then again between 6-7 (so 6am is classed as 2 night feeds). He had been going till after 3am for the past week so I tried the core night method with him last night with a drink of cool boiled water but he was NOT impressed and so I fed him.

Question to those with LO's sleeping through or when previous babies slept through - do they just keep pushing the middle of the night feed later until it gets to 7am or do they just start skipping it altogether?

DH is going to have M tonight for the WHOLE night so I can sleep in the nursery - what a star he is!

Hugs to VBAB and Daisy, having suffered terribly with depression in the past my heart goes out to you as I know it is something that you can not help. Vbab I would strongly suggest speaking with someone and also having a long chat with your DH, I have told you about my experiences before so here if you need to off load. X

Choc don't worry R is no where near going through the night and she is nearly 9 weeks.

I am starting to feel that my milk supply is low as she is not relaxed feeding and seems to be wanting to feed every two hours again. She is really frantic when I feed her? I am contemplating giving her a bottle tonight, she has only had one but seemed not to mind. Opinions / advice greatly appreciated.

We also have our Jabs later not looking forward to that, especially as she is already do unsettled.

Obs I to wish I was your neighbour!!

Right my new years resolutions:

To meet some baby friends other tha you guys! Any one live near me!!

To lose my last 7lbs from pregnancy and an additional 7lbs

To drink more water and eat more fruit and veg.

To start wearing make up!

To start to drink wine

See you later after jabs!

thanks ladies.
Just overwhelmed with bad emotion due to bad things happening. NOT maybe a "little bit of depression since having A" like my mum keeps saying. ARGH! I know the difference.
Me and DH seem to be worse than ever and if I ever make the great mistake of trying to talk to family about it they say it is because we are both tired . Except for the fact that me and DH were like this before A was a twinkle in my eye. I'm just beyond fed up feeling like st when I do EVERYTHING except we share to some degree sorting DS and A out. But I do the most when DH at work. I like looking after my family but when I get nasty comments, ignored, shouted at, kicked or hit (by DS), DS not caring, and no general appreciation for what I do I get upset (crying) then angry.
Just dont know what I feel for DH anymore and I even said (bad mummy) i had enough of DS and how he treats me so dad can look after him as i've "done with him" . Fed up of crying everyday. Fed up of DS going from being ok to devil child and hurting me even after I tell him it hurts. Also ashamed that I fetched A into this world into this nightmare. Ashamed that for the first time and hopefully last time DS told me and DH "to stop it", keep in mind he is 2 and a half, when we were not shouting but disagreeing the other day down the stairs and DS was stood at top with DH. This is the first time in a long time we have disagreed in front of DS. Just dont know how much, maybe none, of his behaviour is as a result of him picking up unhappy vibes from me and DH.
Cant talk to friends as they all have their own lives or havent been in my situation so dont understand. Some of them even have the same st with their DH or worse but just call it a phase . Shouldnt a phase be a short time period? Cant talk to family and probably shouldnt about DH. But when I try to talk about DS my mum is so hurtful but I dont think means to be in what she says. Along the lines of "he doesnt do that we me". "Dont know what you are referring to". "Shall we just not talk about it as we will end up falling out".

hi

sorry not been about much, am trying to wean myself off mumsnet as feel its been taking over my life for so long now.

Anyway, this week is 6 week checks for me and sophie. I just had mine, was pretty painless, just a chat about contraception. think i'm going for the implant as dont want anymore kids atm if ever again, i think 4 girls is enough. and about any concerns i have (none!!).

sophies is on wedsnesday. am not overly concerned about her, except her skin and her snoring (i never knew babies could snore that loudly!!), so will bring those up. oh and her weeping belly button. that could do with a bit of treatment i think.

If i am not about on here, then yui can catch me on facebook. sarah williams.

hello and merry christmas to all! have just been trying to catch up on the 300 or so posts i have missed - am down under for christmas to introduce baby M to the family. lovely to have some warm weather - makes the night time feeds better (although would prefer not to have them at all! have only had one 5hr night time sleep so far...very jealous of those getting long stretches regularly! have just had someone tell me their 4-week-old is sleeping 7hrs every night!!) we love showing him off and he has generally been a gem - was great on the flight, just fed and then slept on dp's chest in sling. can't believe how much extra luggage he creates though! GF-lite routine out the window - nights ok, but days are a mess - too much going on. will start afresh once back in london...

lots of love and hugs to everyone - what a lovely and fantastically supportive and generous group you are! happy new year! xoxo

Merry xmas and happy new year to all us nov mums.

Owen has settled into the family really well and was an angel when we aere out all xmas day visiting family.

He tends to feed 3.5 to four hourly but does go 4.5 in the night after feeding all evening. I am loving bfing and feel like i never want to give up.

Due to a stinking cold he failed both hearing tests and has to have a brain stem test this week but i know he can hear fine so i am not too worried.

dh has gone to work today, dd1 out with her mates and dd2 at my mums for the day so me and owen are trying to put away all the gifts and make the house a little bit more livable.

Misdee which sarah williams are you as they all seem to have very large breasts.

have a pic with dh arms round me, glasses on me, and 3 girls in picture.

Misdee i have sent you a friends request please accept

i think i accepted you. real life names confuse me lol.

vbab, hugs to you. likewise daisy. the feelings you write are very reminiscent and makes me sad to read. i have no idea how i will cope when dh goes back to work. luckily he still has no job. i have been getting the heebie jeebies about leaving mum and dad's so it is 'just' me and dh, let alone being alone. Just rest assured we are happy to listen and some of us know what it is like too, the others will have a lot of sympathy.

good luck with less mn misdee!

i forgot another new year's resolution which is actually ds's. He is having NO MORE NAPPIES after 31st Dec (except over night). I am going to have to get washing wees and poos out of clothes, socks, shoes, carpets, but hey! It has to be done. He is 3 and a bit now. So much for 'they know when they are ready'. Am convinced he is ready but just lazy and also he's not had a lot of 'help' as I have been focussed on it.

coolkat, the friends resolution is a good one. I would add that, but am trying to keep it simple.

Getting fit. Am in awe of some of you. I break our Nov thread into 3 types of people:

• Hardcore Gymmers. Dozy, ceebee, margot and obs (if she starts Boxercise [wink)]
• Heart In the Right Placers. Daisy and those of you who have Wii Fit/ do loads of walking to/ from school etc.
• Lazy Arses. Me. I will be lucky to do one 10 min walk once a week. Does anyone want to join me and make me feel better about this? I think I am the only one!

btw, did margot's dh recover sufficiently for her to make it to her family for xmas?

Evening all

Daisy x-post this morning so sorry to hear your night was bad again. Obs I hope your cake making was only down to hunger and not DS2 keeping you up though I fear the latter??

vbab I'm pleased you are sharing with us - a virtual talking place is better than none. I think kids do pick up on unhappy vibes in their parents so it could be why your DS is unsettled although I have no suggestions about how to "fix" that. Perhaps making sure you and DH give him lots of love and cuddles regardless of your arguments with each other?? Sorry I don't really have any experience of this but I wanted to offer some support.

Coolkat can we bribe our LO's with a prize for the first one to sleep through?? (I cannot wait till bribery is an option - my ideal parenting style has gone out of the window!)

Tegan good luck for your LO's tests.

Merry good luck to you and DS1 for the nappy training - we have all this to look forward to again in a couple of years!

Strange goings on in chez-Choco. Last night I tried to put M down in his moses basket awake as he wasn't falling asleep on me and after me sitting there for 20 minutes going "shhhh" he was calm but awake and I left the room and then he fell asleep on his own . Safe to say this was very thirsty work (all the shhh-ing) that I would prefer not to do, so tonight we put him down and again he wouldn't go to sleep so DH fetched our CD player and put a static radio station on - the second it came on he was quiet and apart from one quick cry a few minutes later there has been silence since (only 20 mins so maybe I am tempting fate) - anyone else had any experience of using this kind of prop?? Should we go in and turn it off at some point?? Just curious.....

just checking in, have caught up on posts and will respond tmw when i have more time.

am starting to stress slightly as i dont feel i have a routine yet, although E is a content baby i feel i shouldnt complain.

hello to everyone, will be back tmw

Evening all - DH has been hogging the computer all day so not been able to get on.

Vbab I really sympathise with you Although things aren't as bad here as they seem to be with you, I am in a similar situation with DS1 - having Sam seems to have altered DS1's behaviour/temperament and I do have moments of regret (although obviously not about having Sam if that makes sense ) - I also find myself wishing Sam's 'babyness' away quite a lot - perhaps fast-forwarding a year when Sam is able to play with DS1 and I don't have to protect him all the time from probing/prodding fingers etc - which I find quite sad as I know this is my last baby and I should be enjoying these months of babytime. From what you have said, I also think you should speak to your HV and try and get some professional help...but, in the meantime, please continue to offload on here if it helps.

Mari I am not surprised you are feeling a bit wobbly about leaving your parents - I am so in awe of what you have to deal with - 1 toddler and 1 baby is too much for me . Also, you have made me worried about DS1 and potty-training - I keep thinking he will let me know when he is ready (he is 2.6) but maybe not........

Daisy sorry you had such a crap night again - you know Fin can do it, I guess it is how you persuade him to do it on a more regular basis!

Right tea's ready - will catch up some more in a bit

evening all

vbab I really also strongly advice you to go and see your HV or Dr. You must remember you are a fantastic mum and you have gone through a lot. Support is out there, you need to grab it with 2 hands. As for you and DH, have you thought about going to relate???? It might help you both to talk with a stranger (non judgmental) in order to rationalise your feelings without wither of you getting upset. I have said it before, and I am sure I will say it again, but IMO men do change when a baby comes along - you may remeber that my DH has 2/3 weeks of being a total arse, usually when I am PG but then is fine. All to do with how their lives change blah blah blah. Please keep posting, and don't feel guilty about not being a "perfect" mum - none of us are!!

Daisy You always sound so upbeat and together, am very surprissed that you are feeling low....huge hugs to you, you are an absolute star of this thread, and your advice and kind words are appreciated by a lot of people.

Choc Tiger has only slept through 2x. Last night she was up at 3:30am (after a 1030 feed) but I have cut back her feed to 4oz so she takes more at 7/730am. The fact she slept through 2x at 8 weeks was, am sure down to being FF as neither of my DS's did this and they were BF. She has though, as we know, been an absolute superstar from the start.....as merry says, I think some babies are so much more adept at being put in a routine. Your M is doing so fantastically well!!

Now, on to the opposite of routine led babies...hana how long are you planning on attachement parenting for? I am so fascinated by the whole concept and just wonder how you get on with doing things....Quite selfishly, I love that a 7pm all kids are in bed and DH and I can chill, have dinner and talk without a baby or child around......do you just do all of that but with a baby in a sling?!! What about resuming "bedroom relations", what happens to F then?!!! (sorry if t6hat is far to personal, y7ou can tell me to bugger off, I won't take offence!)

LONDONBOOTS Am very very jealous you are in the sun!!!!! We had a 3 hour walk in richmond park today, and had to take refuge in the pub it was that bloody cold!!!! Still, loved the walk though!

Question - does anyone wear MBT's? I have been wearing mine for the first time these past few weeks, and my calves are absolutely killing me......anyone experienced that?!

Am also laughing at meri calling me a gym bunny - it is true I go 2/3 times a week when not pregnant, but that is only so I can scoff what I want as i love my food to much! I have 3 stone to lose minimum....that is a very very scary process.....did anyone start a diet thread????

Am on MN AGAIN. Starting to think my addiction is becoming serious. Should take leaf out of misdee book re cutting down as NYResolution.
*Vbab, so sorry to read your post. Afraid can offer no advice on relationship front. My dh is a total diamond, although he can drive me nutty. You have had some good advice from others. What can I add ? Can I suggest that you think about what it is that you REALLY want. Imagine different scenarios. Do you want him to leave ? If no, then is he a decent man underneath. Could you narrow it down to say 5 specific things and say to him, "you really hurt me when you .... Icould you instead ....
Your family are destructive rather than constructive in all of this, aren't they. But what about your bestfriend. Do you , can you talk to her about it. Without my mum, my bestfriend and MN, I would go mad.

Dozy / Chocorange, please can we arrange london meet. For Jan or Feb. I was gutted to miss last one. Can we do it soon. Pretty please.

Merry, LOL at gym bunny - me no. I only went 10 times last year, if that. But I do love boxing. Thus boxercise.
Must go, ds crying to be fed. will respond to other posts later/tomorro

thanks ladies. But just dont like the idea of going to the HV or Dr with my woes. They will just say I'm postnatally depressed and throw tablets at me. I feel down/depressed and cry a lot but dont feel I am medically depressed IYSWIM? Just read that and realised it sounds rubbish but hope you understand.

obs - Will have a long think about the points you have raised regarding DH when I can.

This eve after I'd had a couple of lovely hours with DS drawing and playing with playdough he laid in his baby gym with me at his side prentending to be a baby.... just a thing he has been doing for a couple of weeks. I know it isnt ideal and other times I tell DS hes a big boy not a baby. but at moments like this I indulge him and he feels special. But DH put his nose in and started telling DS in tone "you arent a baby" etc. Well it all started from there and of course DH was doing the opposite to what Ive done which was working fine and we were having a lovely time. Built up and ended up DS throwing one of A's toys which really shocked me and I told him off. DH sometimes just puts his nose in and causes trouble then I am the one left picking up the pieces. I feel when DH criticises DS or his behaviour he is criticising me as Im his (main) carer. Then DH started ordering/pestering me after the s**t hit the fan to go to bed for an hour (at 6.30pm?) with his face full of thunder and touching the floor.
I just went to the hallway, shut the living room door, put my coat and shoes on and left the house. Then got in the car and drove off knowing that I had left my mobile at home. Just needed to. I pulled up and sat for about 30 mins. I then went back home just because I thought I should be home when DS goes to bed.
Turned out DH didnt even know I had gone!

of all the lovely DHs and DCs out there but also not everyone got my family experience. Also of babies sleeping through. A is 7 weeks tomorrow and although she only (most nights) wakes 2.30am ish after a feed at 10.30pm then 6-7ish I cant see her dropping the 2.30amish feed anytime soon as her feeds during the day seem at same times her amounts are all other the place and see seems to favour feeding like a crazy baby 5-8pm then of course doesnt have much at 10.30pm (when she should to try to drop the 2.30am).

ceebee, we are trying talking to him sternly, but it's having little effect

thanks dozy, but it's a bit like tears of a clown and all that! When my PND was bad with DS1, I was always smiling and immaculately turned out, as was DS1, even though he was the pukiest baby ever born, but my house was a bombsite......bedding unchanged for weeks, kitchen a bio hazard, toilet not seeing the business end of a toilet brush for weeks and piles of clutter everywhere. Even my family didn't believe me about the PND when I told them, until they saw the state of the house as prior to DS1 I was such a clean obsessed routine freak.

I am now in the middle ground somewhere and it's a much happier place to be (partly why I don't hold too much with GF; reminds me of my slightly obsessive former self)

vbab...{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} lovely. Wish I knew what to suggest about your family worries.

Oh dear, is this the week for it?
I feel I have hit a wall and ended up in tears with my parents tonight and did not want to go home to DH who is driving me mad. Spends lots of time and money in the pub when we have so very little to be going on with this month. Then, I feel, bullies DD and I a bit, trying to control our behaviour and movements. I think he is totally unaware that he is doing it which makes it very hard to explain why the behaviour is so upseting to me.
DS fed every 2 hours last night, groaning loudly to wake me at every feed. God, it just goes straight through you

I don't think that DH spends a lot in the pub either. He just uses it as a cash machine but then can't really tell me where the money goes. Bits and bobs here and there I suspect, but it is just no use to have this money fritter away like that

Does anyone elses DH do very little of a night?
Mine will do a nappy change, but will complain bitterly if DS fills it soon after.
What can they do if you BF? My mum thinks he should be doing more and that I am too soft on him but, honestly, what can he do??

hello!
So sorry to read your posts vbab Gosh - it sounds like you are having a very hard time it's even more difficult when there is noone to talk to I hope that you will feel able to talk to the ladies on here though - keep posting xx
daisy hope you are getting over the tonsilitis super quick - it's awful! I would also echo what the other ladies have said - your advice is so invaluable!
Choco Great that you have found something to help with the settling of an evening!
twinkling sorry to hear about dh - so that you are upset about going home. At the mo my dh sleeps in the lounge as he needs to get up for work but if he hears Will crying he will come and sit with me for a bit or just hang about. I keep meaning to get around to expressing so he could do a night feed before a day off so I could get longer than 3 hours - isn't it a killer getting out of bed in this temp??

So had best night ever last night - put will to bed at 9pm instead of 1am (when I went ) He woke at 12 and 4.30 and went to sleep when I put him back - so thrilled!! Also it was the first time I had any time off, fab to eat dinner with a knife and a fork!! So far tonoght is going the same way (fingers crossed) 6 weeks next monday so no doubt it will all go pear shaped!

anyway love to all - especially those who are feeling down [hugs] x

Good morning all.

Owen had his brain stem test yesterday and he has perfect hearing in both ears so that is good news for the new year.

Last night he decided to feed all evening until midnight and then was up again at 2am wide awake so dh had him downstairs so i could sleep. That was the worst night i have had with him since he was born so i can't complain as he will be 5 weeks on friday.

I was wondering if any of you had a letter from gp regarding infant vaccine study?
I had a letter come yesterday, but i think i need to find out some more info on this before i agree to it.