January 08 Shiny New-Year Babies, not quite so shiny they are nearly one!!

[Lilyloo]

is this ok didn't want to loose everyone courtesy of Lucky!!

Lily - re the 'friend', it's really awkward. i was friends with her dh years ago, and they moved here over the summer. so we are the only people they know here. he is working and she has 2 LOs so it's kind of assumed that we must get on as we have so much in common
it's just that we are sooo different:

• i bf, she didn't even bf for a day
• the whole food types for young children (i agree you have to relax as they spend more time away from you, parties, etc. but her dd is only just 2, ds1 is 2.5)
• the whole tv on as background that i don't like

- a sign in a pot plant at the front 'sod the dog, beware of the wife' (sorry if these things are things you guys do!), but all added together we are not compatible! she comes to 'our' playgroup on thurs mornings so will always see here there and she sort of 'seeks' me out - of course as she doesn't really know anyone else but i get torn between my antenatal (new in her opinion) friends and her (old friend IHO) (these are the same people who went out to buy ready made roast potatoes at 12.30 one sun when we went round for lunch ) ah well, these things are sent to try us....

sorry guys this will be a long one!

LaT - sorry about test, fingers crossed for next time!
no YANBU re uni, how rude of them!

Simpson - not critical? surely it should just be if it affects ability to work/earn/make payments??? grr.

back in a bit, h cross!

Ange - my premier inn place is calling me....

Filly - you don't need to run your post did make me cry though
at the moment i have:

• sleep deprivation - ongoing since pg started interfering with sleep
• pmt - which seems to get worse every time, was thinking of trying some herbal remedy to even out my emotions, any tips anyone?

- a dh who works far too hard (imo!) and is away from home far too often - inlaws who would help but never let me forget that i couldn't cope if i asked for help - parents who seem to really not give a sh*t sometimes (as well as having lots on in their lives, but the contrast with the in-laws makes them look v bad) - friends with 2 LOs who seem to be soping so much better than me, i know i know we all have bad days. the main diffs being their dhs come home every night and they have some family help nearby.

i'm revisiting an old complaint here but my parents had a chance to move here from devon but chose to buy a new place down there instead. still makes me and feel like they just don't care about their gc, though i think they do in their own way...
yesterday's friend - her mum is moving here, has sold her house already, makes me .

madmouse - meant to say luckily i don't wear any makeup
but a waste of energy all the same.

ange - well done on the weight loss i'm doing well, despite everything - am now 10,3 - aim is near to 9,7 as poss by christmas, stay below 10 over christmas, lol, then down below 9 by Feb (my birthday!).

lily - sure coming off cerazette should help, it did for me - though i've gone backwards again nowhere near as bad as i was on that. serious red mist mostly aimed at dh
totally relate about the crawling under the duvet

right, we went to play place so i'm feeling pretty proud of myself, just us 3 as no other friends could make it today and we were fine! in fact had a lovely time and will def be going more. ds1 is now old enough to go off and play on his own lots and will come back to me if there is a problem - there's just one bit he gets stuck in - when i hadn't seen him for about 10mins i went looking and there he was
not bothered just stuck.

right, i am waffling, but am feeling more positive having got out and coped on my own.
have got jackets in the oven and ds1 and i agreed on fish fingers and bread for tea

will shut up now, lol!

DOes anyone know of a good online place to order photos? I have just wasted a whole afternoon with JEssops, both in and out of the shop.

I have caught up.
I have every sympathy.
I have a wriggly DD in arms who will NOT sit by herself so can't respond properly.

p.s. have about 200 photos to do. Finally getting round to wedding and first months of baby. Or not getting round thanks to Jessops.

oh dear sorry...

Honestly, you've got so much more on your plate, its hardly surprising you're finding things hard. Not having your dh come home in the evenings is a massive deal, and I know you normally take all the crap in your stride...its hard not to have an adult to unload the day to in the evenings, even if they're not home in time to help, and it makes a huge difference having someone else in the house when nights are bad even if, like Lilyloo's dh (sorry!) they're not much use because they have to go to work in the morning. It still makes a difference, even if its just another pair of hands in an emergency or first thing in the (hopefully, not too early) morning. So you're not silly to be moaning.

Oh, and you have 2 kids who are brilliant but don't sleep that well (understatement alert!). So a) you're on your own and b) you're getting bugger all sleep. Hardly surprising you're feeling low. Stop beating yourself up about it.

I would say that maybe you should re-examine your antipathy to asking for help from in-laws. I know you hate staying with them but they are great with H & T and clearly want to help you out more. I don't see why asking for some family support from dh's parents (dc's gps, after all) in any way means you "can't cope", except maybe in your own head? Anyway, even if they do say something afterwards, so what?

Lilyloo - I think some firm words to your dh may be in order. Want me to give him a call? Seriously, maybe not this weekend if you've got plans, but at some point he really needs to give you a break. Of course he's working and commuting and stuff, so isn't able to do that much during the week (seems fair-enough-ish) but he needs to recognise/accept that you are totally worn out at the moment and that he has to make some extra effort to get you back to where he/the kids/you need you to be

Well DH has just left
for the doc's so will see what happens....

Have had total melt down from both Dcs. Pre school really tires out DS so he comes home and sinks to floor etc refusing to walk/eat/do anything. DD screaming with tiredness.

Thank God my mum is here to help!! I wish she could stay till DH gets back as am convinced doc will say he is not well enough for work and DH will see that as an excuse iyswim. Ho Hum!! Just feel like i have a permanent knot of tension in my stomach iykwim.

DD in bed already DS watching Lazytown...

JKS - sorry you feel so down. Lack of sleep is torture so you are bound to feel bad. ((hugs))

Lilyloo - I meant at the weekend he could get up, maybe Sat? Maybe take it in turns?

My mum offered to have both Dcs for Saturday afternoon and have them stay over...got all excited then remembered we have a birthday party on Sat afternoon. So maybe next weekend. Not sure if she knows what she is letting herself in for, it will be the first time she has had both overnight!!

simpson have you asked your mum to stay?

have a very cute little boy here, had his first haircut , my hairdresser came (teenage daughter of a friend) to cut mine a lot shorter (from halfway down my back to just in a pony tail) and she was happy to do Nathan too, she was great it was nearly in his eyes, now he has a lovely proper little boy look

Madmouse - at Nathan's first haircut!! Still waiting for DD to get any hair!! She is getting there slowly

My mum can't stay as she does the box office at her local theatre tonight. She has just left....

Still no homes for the kitties

Lucky - sorry no homes How many have you got left? Do you have to find homes for them?

Just mum and 1 kitten left.

LaT - i order mine through Snapfish i think, you can get them posted pretty quick or pick them up at jessops - though if you had probs with them you might not want to deal with them.
or i have been told to use the machines at snappysnaps/asda/boots/etc.

Filly -
i hope it's a temporary low. what worries me is what if it's more permanent...
i feel like i have no energy all the time - could it be iron levels? i was taking antenatal/bf vitamins until they ran out, maybe i should restart. or maybe i'm just a lazy cow!
in-laws are away on long holiday at the mo anyway.
i think i should ask them to come here more, you are right (no ducking needed honest!) or at least my MIL as she is the one who helps most (also allergic to our cats which doesn't help). FIL mostly watched top gear!!
it prob is in my head and i need to get past that to be able to ask for help. Though going to theirs is not going to be a helpful option until they properly child proof their house.
i hope it's just pmt at the mo that's making me cry so easily/snap/etc.
ah well, another night, who knows what it may hold....

simpson - what did doc say????? wish your mum could have stayed

def book here in for next weekend - never mind if it's too much for her, at least it will happen once

madmouse - aww first haircut! i had to trim h's hair above his ears as it was getting too long but not counting that as a first real haircut!

Lucky - shame about the last 2. we have our hands full right now or i'd be tempted even so far away!

ice-cream has arrived, ben & jerrys fish food, yum

Feeling abit down today thanks to this

LaT I second snapfish, my laptop photo software links through to snapfish and their pic quality is really high. I get them delivered to my door and even with delivery costs they are better and cheaper than boots etc.

And YANBU, that is extremely rude of them.

Lucky just do what you can to surround her with people who do care and love her. dh has practically no family (his mum and his mum's niece! that is realy all) and he grew up surrounded by uncles aunts and grandparents who were no blood relations but who made him feel loved and secure. Some were accidental contacts, friends, some were his mum's colleagues and employers. It does not matter as much as it seems.

To an extend it will be the same for Nathan, who has three grandparents in Holland, no family here, but lots of uncles and aunts. If something happens to me and dh he will go and live with his godparents, very close friends, all sorted.

I think the problem is more that it must be very difficult for you to accept that they do not want to be with your beautiful daughter (and no, I do not understand it either)

when i say lots of uncles and aunts I mean our friends. dh has no siblings I have one brother who is unreliable (and a sex offender - with children )

Maybe thats what it is? That I don't understand why they don't want to know her. DP's never been close to his family but we both thought it would change when she was born just the same though.
I also worry that when we HAVE to get together that she'll be scared of them - and they'll want to hold her etc.

Lucky - have posted on other thread

Also think madmouse is spot on as ever, that's what annoys me about Dh's family. WHY do they ignore DD not the actual ignoring iyswim

JKS - DH signed off for a week if he needs it but wants to go in tomorrow and seems ok. He admitted me tonight the side effects of the medication make work difficult ie they slow his brain down but I said he needs to tell his boss (also close friend.) Will see what happens. At least I have loads on tomorrow so will keep my mind off things.

Also have appt for CAB next thursday so need to think of questions. Any ideas Madmouse??

JKS - hope tonight is better for you, think you definately need to take iron tabs again, it can only help.

Lilyloo - Hope you are ok? Glad the solo singing was sorted for DS (bless him)

simpson:
What benefits are you entitled to if you end up on your own with kids or if dh cannot work due to mental illness
What steps can you take to protect your home for your children
what support is available for you as a family in which someone is suffering from mental health issues (that is not the same as support for dh, also for you!)

Madmouse - thank you sooo much, have written it down in diary.

It's such a worry, just wish i could win the lottery or something

Ladies, typed this last night but couldn?t post it due to MN going wonky, will now catch up on today!

Happy Birthday Lilyloo love the sound of what you really wanted for your birthday your weekend sounds fab though! how was DS when he got home from school?

LaT I was like that, no period since April 07 but I sort of guessed when I?d ovulated and when I started to feel odd after that I dug out the tests! sounds such a cliché but I just kind of knew. I think I got a BFP 12 days after I ovulated. If the ?deed? was 9/11 you could already get an accurate result but give it a few more days as you might not have ovulated until a few days later so yes from 23/11 onwards if I were you! what a clever girl Sabela is Xavier hates being dirty and says ?um-um? over and over until he is changed.

JKS ? LOL if I didn?t know better I?d say LaT had pg brain! glad you got a well deserved lie in today very thoughtful pressie for your friend must remember that idea! Wow! Busy Christmas! DS went to bed at 9-10pm in the summer here because of the heat but its 8pm now. Your day sounded hard work.

Gingeme ? not even thought about visiting Santa bet you?ll have a lovely weekend are you thinking about no6 hon???

Hey Ange

Madmouse ? poor Nathan, what a night! Hope tonight is better.

Whether I'm pg or not I certainly hav epg brain MrsMC - I've been terrible the last few days. I keep forgetting what I'm talking about mid sentence.

MM - stand by for requested picture of Sabela with the book on her head. I got it last night!

Whether I'm pg or not I certainly hav epg brain MrsMC - I've been terrible the last few days. I keep forgetting what I'm talking about mid sentence.

MM - stand by for requested picture of Sabela with the book on her head. I got it last night!

Ok. Proof is there MM!

I@m off to catch up properly.

I have a wee suggestion for JKS and Lilyloo as they asked about taking something for a boost. No! Not THAT sort of thing....

I am no expert but these have helped me.

For pmt - stuff yourself with brewer's yeast. You can never have too many b vitamins, and you just pass them if you don't need them. I usually take 3 a day. ALso clary sage essential oil in a bath is fab but you need definitely NOT to be pregnant as it's one of those ones that can stimulate the womb.

To help sleep / general well being / feeling down.

MM - picture of haircut please!

My bloke in the local health food shop gave me these. I was sceptical but they really worked. I'd been getting constnat colds and anxiety and I stopped and looked half human for my wedding (which is what I'd been worrying about). I must say that I don't know about combing with bf.

Anyway:

Q10 capsules
Tonnes of B vitamins
St John's Wort (it's not just for depression)
Echinacea
A really good multivitamin and mineral
A compound of Potassium and Magnesium called PPMP - this one is brilliant if you have broken sleep - ie. when it's NOT the baby it helps you sleep more deeply.

He swore to phials of royal jelly - I think 1000 mg per day but I didn't think this made a huge difference.

So from the herbal side, there's some starters. It can be worth asking in your local non-chain health store what they recommend. Look for one that has a wall FULL of this stuff. They often have a personal interest and sometimes qualifications.

Lily - it IS sleep, but agree DH NEEDS to give you lie-ins. You work 24 hrs at the moment.

Simpson - Oh Lord! the sink was the last thing you needed. I bet you just wanted DH to go away and let you cope with it.

Terrible night's sleep here. I'm sure it's teeth.

The baby awakes....

morning all
today is going to be a good day my ugg boots should be coming

LAT excellent idea i have never really taken any supplements but am going into town this aft to get my niece birthday pres so will call into health store. Am sure that would help.

MM how cute his first hair cut they look so funny don't they with real styled hair. Not sure what to do with dd's yet as she has really long bits at the side but bald at the back

Simpson hope dh ok at work today (fingers crossed)

Am now going to try and print off some pics of dc's and my sis dc's for my nans birthday pres! Am doing her a collage of all her great grandchildren. She was 80 on my birthday and we all going out for meal on Sun. Not sure how i will get on not very good at all that!

Oh and this weekend has been cancelled dp has got late meeting tonight so will be too late to get to Leeds and go out for dc's.
So we have to take them down at 9am tom and maybe do a bit of shopping whilst they at Nemo. Ho hum so there goes chance of lie in and night out!