January 08 Shiny New-Year Babies, not quite so shiny they are nearly one!!

[Lilyloo]

is this ok didn't want to loose everyone courtesy of Lucky!!

Simpson ? are you ok hon? Sending huge hugs, poor you, you are always so brave and upbeat xx For what it's worth, I think you should stay put, you and the DCs have been disrupted enough, if DH needs time out (and I don't mean that in an unsympathetic way) he should seek somewhere else to go, you and the kids need your home xx

Angechica - thanks for book, yes he might read it. i will anyway will order it at library. he has never been diagnosed with anything and doesn't have ups and downs like bi polar (or mad spending sprees etc)

JKS - If I asked him to leave he genuinely wouldn't have anywhere to go Have said maybe a few wks in Ireland??

I do totally adore him and when he is well is the best DH ever but its the ill DH I feel I can't cope with anymore.

JKS - Is this the friend who your DS1 and her DD don't get on with?? Have the same problem with kid from next door. All his teeth are totally rotten at the front and he eats crap ALL the time am constantly policing DS when they are together. Feel like Mrs Hitler or something.

Sorry for melt down feel a bit stronger

oh happy birthday Lilyloo

We taking DS with all the babies to a farm place where they have Santa and reindeer etc. for one of his friend's birthday (was born Christmas day).

Alek sleeping not perfect but not as bad as some here so I feel I can't complain too much really.

F**k sorry Lilyloo - all this doom and gloom on your birthday sorry

On a positive note have arranged to meet 4 local mums at baby group on Friday which I am REALLY looking forward to.

Lucky - when are you going swimming with your friend?

Madmouse - missed your post earlier...thanks so much. I will definately not be going anywhere The really telling thing is that he took his medication about an hour ago (it had previously been stopped by GP but he had some left) and in the last ten mins or so have had a totally rational conversation with him.

Don't want to lose him but am not prepared to have him and mental illness all the time iyswim. There are looong periods in between bouts otherwise I would not stick around.

Also think in a situation like this survival mode kicks in and a mum thinks of her Dcs first. I will not have them upset at all over this yet. Especially Ds who has started school etc.

Mrs mcjnr - thanks for message of support. I agree and if he finds things too much, he will go to ireland.

Feel bad bringing this thread down...but you are all being absolutely fantastic and feel better already. I love MN!!

Simpson so and sorry mental illness is such a terrible thing to live with as it is the glimpse of dh you see that makes you stay. It's not like he isn't there which must be so hard.
Glad to hear the wine has made you feel better.
I am surprised he hasn't been diagnosed and am sure these episodes are due to his medication not beign right ( may be completely off the mark there) but i would think that getting his meds regulated would help all of you.
Is there any type of support group he could attend maybe with you to help.
I agree with Ange the selfishness is part of the illness but doesn't make it any easier for you.
Can you talk to him when he is ok and maybe agree a plan of action for when you see things slipping.
Would he be able to go to your mums and dads, They seemed great last time rather than disrupting the dc.
Maybe that would enable him to feel he has some control of the situation without hindering the dc's.
Anyways much love you rarely come across in your posts as soemone who has any issues at home so you are obv very strong and only complain when it's really bad!

Thanks all birthday nearly gone. Got my boots , coat , money and and a bottle of baileys so having a glass. Stressful evening did my shopping forgot my purse (after buying boots left it on sofa) so had to leave shopping and couldn't pay for dd dancing.

Looking forward to weekend!

simpson why has he never been diagnosed? Sounds like he needs to be diagnosed so that he can get more structural help than pills. A bit worrying that he has pills that when he takes them enable him to have a rational conversation, ie he clearly has some serious chemical imbalance of some description in his brain. Hope you have a good night.

Talking of which Nathan went down at 8pm, and has yet to peep . He was less tired at bedtime, we had a story and lots of milk before he settled.

He has also eaten a whole cow and gate jar for lunch, normally about 1/2-1/3, although he did not have much in terms of snacks. will see what the night brings.

Don't know why he has never been diagnosed Have been told its definately not bi polar (no real mood swings and spending of money etc) and not schizophrenia. have discribed them as anti physcotic episodes. He gets agitated and the meds calm him down. But he is better than he was and will say he doesn't feel great ie stressed rather than let it get to the stage it was a few months ago.

Just worried for Dcs especially DS don't want him upset. My mum is popping round tomorrow.

DH was umming and ahhing about going to Ireland but once meds kicked in said no he won't go. Think if it happens again they will have to come and get him, he needs to be away from Dcs and me for a while

Madmouse - Fingers X Nathan goes through till at least 7am

DD has had a grand total of 7ozs milk today so expect a bad night

Lilyloo - Glad you had a good day, and enjoyed birthday. Have agreed with DH he will go to ireland if things get bad. But my fear would be a)he would not come back and b)how mortgage would get paid as I am earning a big fat zero now!!

Ringing CAB in morning for appt.

Simpson - sorry to hear all is not well not much advice to add that hasnt been said already but hope things get sorted soon x

Lilyloo - Happy Birthday a bit late but better than newt. AM V at you and your Baileys!!

Ange - farm place sounds great - where abouts is it?

Everyone else - Hi hope you are all well! Im off to Razorlight tomorrow night cant wait am taking best friend and her husband to be for their wedding present - couldnt think of ewt to buy em and they need a night out!! DD is doing OK, second chest infection in about 6 weeks but she is fine in herself so its not all bad. Think she enjoys all the snot

Not much time or motivation to do a full catch up but have had a read through and will catch up soon Bye for now.

My DD is called Cherish by the way

Simpson - I'm so sorry but I agree with MM, You need him to leave, you left once to try and fix it, its not fair on the DC's to leave their house again.

Lilly - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

LaT - TEST TEST TEST - Do you want Princess??

MrsMc - Yes they were bugging me for ages and I refused to be induced as I knew it would end in CS (which is did anyway but I'm glad I stuck to my guns)

So LaT.........??????? good positive vibes...(if you want them just now that is!)

Lily - a good birthday then, except for the leaving purse at home. (can you pay for dd's dancing next week? hope she was still able to go). and i've totally done that with supermarket shopping when i've taken my card out to pay for online shopping and not put it back in & at myself. so embarrassing.

kelix - hope dd gets better soon.

madm - did nathan have a better night? am going to brave the indoor play places with both boys soon, see if tiring them out is worth the stress.
yes her dd and my ds1 just don't get on AT ALL. my other mum friends call ds1 a gentleman as he never gets physical when their kids beat him up has to be really riled to fight back. but when with this other little girl, they just fight all the time
she really seemed to believe that the flavoured water was a better option (they weren't actually Fruit Shoot label drinks but something similar, prob an Asda version) DS1 thought it was great of course
and she was giving her 4 month old a rusk to keep her quiet while cooking tea
but then insisted on making a pasta sauce from scratch which meant she was stuck in the kitchen while i tried to look after 3 kids x lots!
won't rush back, but will invite her round here for tea instead.
thing is, if i have friends for tea i just do fish fingers and potato waffles/mash if i had some in the freezer to keep it simple.
ho hum.

simpson - good luck at CAB. isn't there an insurance thing on mortgages when the payer is ill? would require a docs cert i suppose.
he really must get some kind of diagnosis, however hard it might be to hear, to get access to the right meds/doses and other help. is he resistant to going to the doc again? can you ask for a referral to mental health services?

ds1 up at 5.18 this morning kept putting him back until 6 but it's sooo hard, he cries, i cry and life seems so bleak in the dark at that time of night/day.
ds2 cried at 9 so wasted any efforts for an early night
then fed at 3, then woken up by brother at 5.30ish.

wonder if PND can be brought on by sleep deprivation....?

JKS (sad) Life seems much better when the day begins with a number starting in 6, doesn't it?

DH took DD at 5.40 this morning. She woke at 4.40 . He let me sleep until 7, but was in a foul mood as DD wouldn't do any of the things she can do (eat, play etc) and only wanted to do the things she can't do (move independently etc). She'd dpent the whole time diving off his knee in various directions, whimpering but crying if he put her down. It's going to be one of those days! Tooth number 4 MUST come out today.

Well, the test says no. I must have some crazy on/off virus. I'll test again in a week or two in case. I'm both [happy] and mainly because if i had been pg I wouldn't have to stop bf to get pg, IYSWIM. DH is beginning some gentle pressure.

Wish I could tae PRincess but we go abroad too frequently, too long for it to be fair on an animal. I'm sad for DD as we always had pets.

LaTrucha I did a test just before going to Holland as I was snauseous on and off for days, I had just had my first period but it was not very heavy. So of course it was no, just me coping better with virus then both my men.

Night not too bad, waking at 11.50, 2.15 and 5. at 5 with a leaking nappy again , Nathan is a nuisance to buy nappies for, he is normal size nine month old but skinny. huggies size three say up to 9 kilo, he is just over seven, but they are too small. back to pampers at night. find them unethical but boy needs to sleep. used to wear tesco but is completely in between sizes there.

Sorry you had a bad night MM.

Need to rant. My mum worked in the same academic department for 30 years. She had to retire in 2001 due to ill health through her drinking and they were not particularly gentlemanly about it, although she did need to go. Anyway, the thing I am cross about is: first, they orgnaised an obituary in the local paper but didn't contact any of the family about it. We only found out when a neighbour came round with it. Secondly, they are organising a memorial event for her but none of the family have been formally informed or invited. They seem to think we'll get the message 'through the grapevine.' AIBU to think this is piss poor?

Sorry, don't usually swear but I am fuming. I've sent them a very short email to ask for details. I don't even think they are going to be ashamed of themselves.

Hi all

Had a bad night here too. Managed to get to sleep ok but woke up at 5am (with lots on my mind) and just could not get back to sleep. Was sobbing into my pillow in the early hours Imagining losing house, being homeless...all sorts of bad things

Resorted to putting i pod on and listening to music. Then DD squeaked at 6am for a feed. But did manage a couple of hours after that.

DD now having a long nap (making up for the last 2 days of no sleep). DH totally fine this morning and apologizing for being "silly"

He says he is going to work tomorrow...we shall see. He has to ring at midday to see doc. Not sure if it is worth it as our GP (who knows everything) is not there and he has medication for tonight.His councilling/assessment on 24th Nov is the important one.

My mum is coming round ay 2ish and she has a wise head on her shoulders, will see what she says.

LaT - I would be FUMING. Have you spoken to them yet? YANBU. Will you do another test in a few days.

Madmouse - DS never got on with huggies or pampers, they both leaked but I did use tescos with him. Have you tried Boots own brand or Aldi. Think they are both very good. But its a pain having to buy whole packet to find they don't work....

Well after all the sobbing yesterday my nose and ears are totally bunged up and I feel like I have been hit by a truck. Also can't hear anything

JKS - Our insurance won't cover if DH is off work as mental illness not critical Sorry on the lack of sleep...it must be so hard

oh dear, lots of unhappiness....sorry all...

LaT - both happy and for you about the test results...was sort of hoping you might be! And no, YANBU to be deeply narked with the uni about their behaviour. But there's not much you can do about it, so try not to let it wind you up too much

Simpson - I'm so sorry things have taken a turn for the worse again, sending you lots of supportive vibes - just remember we're always here for moral support.

MM - oh dear, leaking nappies on long skinny babies are so annoying aren't they? ds was like that, was such a relief once he got into huggies size 4's as they fitted properly for ages!!

Katie - yes, PND can be brought on by sleep deprivation...but then so can 'normal' depression...and so can 'just plain grumpy' behaviour!! Sorry you're back to having crappy nights with the boys again....does it help if I remind you that "this too shall pass"??

Lilyloo - happy birthday! sorry am a day late, was offline all day yesterday i've left my wallet/credit card by the computer on countless occasions...last time I panicked (was out) and cancelled the card (ugh, so annoying, had all my direct payments and stuff set up on it) before getting home to find it next to the laptop . Of course by then it was too late to stop the cancellation...grr!!

Think I must be a terrible mother but I've decided that fruit shoots (the robinsons ones) are a hazard of modern living and are acceptable for birthday parties and the (very) occasional outing. They have advantages over cartons of apple juice (the usual 'treat' in our house for ds, about once a month max) when there are multiple kids around, mostly because they don't spill everywhere when put down or make a mess when being opened. But I've been a lot more relaxed since ds turned 3 - I'm still an awful lot more controlling than most of the parents in his class but reckon I have to give him some flexibility outside the home as I clearly can't be there to police what he eats all day/every day esp since he is starting to go on playdates by himself now. So I've put in some groundrules - biscuits/cake etc, when out of home if I'm not there, mostly ok (but not before mealtimes), sweets/chocolate - absolutely not, he can bring them home and discuss with me (answer is always "maybe later, put it in the box"...later has never ever yet happened!). But I guess its unrealistic to expect them to drink only water/watered down fruit juice until they hit 16 and discover beer

Afternoon all Simpson poor you it must be terribly hard but you need to take this one day at a time and not look at the worst case scenario , easier said than done i know.

JKS have to say maybe you should distance yourself from this friend got the feeling the rant about the fruitshoot was more directed at the day turning out worst thatn you expected and you knew it wouldn't be good. It takes a lot of effort to get anywhere with lo's so to have a rubbish time on top is not good. Obv ds and her dd don't get on it happens so not worht pursuing a friendship with someone your not keen on anyway imo!

LaT oh well you can start trying again i guess. Know what you mean as with dd2 i thought ii was pg then wasn't when i tested but that made me want to be even though i wasn't before (does that make sense ?)

Madm sounds like you need to shop around for other nappies and try store brands it may be adding to the sleeplessness if he is getting really damp in the night (clutching straws emotion)

Kelix enjoy Razorlight tonight!

Lucky any homes for kitties yet ?

Filly much the same as you r/e food but we do have biscuits and cake at home and i operate an everything in moderation type attitude to it. All dc have good appetite so don't really worry about it and all slight little things.

JKS do you know reading that line r/e pnd strikes a chord with me. I really feel i am not coping either. I don't know if it's tiredness , cerazette, normal stress or what but i am so down. Feel exhausted , snappy with everyone and really really down. This isn't like me at all just feel like crying and crawling under the duvet. Me and dp just don't seem to be getting on and it's all getting on top of me.
Am hoping stopping the cerazette will help soon. DD wasn't quite as bad last night up at 11.30 and 3.30 but then dd1 woke everyone up when she wet the bed at 5. So she ended up in our bed managed to get dd2 back to sleep but ds wouldn't. Up again at 6.30. I am just fed up. Feel like telling dp to take dc's to il's at weekend and i will stay at home and sleep. But need to spend sometime with dp desperately and bf means dd can't be gone all weekend
Sorry that's all about me but your post sounds as desperate am hoping we are just both exhausted and nothing more.
Hope you manage the play area and they wear themselves out.

Oh and for those who were on my ds thread they have shared his solo out so he doesn't sing as much on his own and only a couple of lines at a time so he much happier!!

Ahem ...yes, have biscuits and cake at home....of course we do, we spend almost every Wednesday afternoon making them together . In fact the challenge is finding ways around having the fun of baking without having to actually eat everything we make...freezer is absolutely stuffed to the gills so now we agree who we are going to make something for (friends with new babies, who are ill etc), make it, then go round to visit with fresh baked goodies either same day or next afternoon after work/school .

I sooo agree with the everything in moderation thing - have even started (sporadically) sharing 'mini' bags of maltersers/chocolate drops with ds (very rare) but am still v anal about sugar intake. Mainly cos ds still regards biscuit/cake as massive treat so I see no need to go down the sweets/chocolate route

oh dear, Lilyloo, just read the 2nd half of your thread properly.

Sounds as though both you and JKS desperately need a whole night off duty (as a minimum). All the other things (including relationships with dps) tend to suffer when you're that worn out, and you've both had 10/11 months without a single good nights sleep. Of course you're shattered, even if you've coped until now.

So...(please please don't shout at me...and JKS, I know your dh is away a lot during the week, but maybe it will be possible in the school hols)....could you....just maybe...

Express in advance, line up multiple bottles in fridge, then go to bed with earplugs in and eyemask on at about 9pm one night with a agreement with dh that they won't wake you nomatterwhathappens (short of the house burning down) until 9am the next morning? Call it an early xmas present if you will, and offer to return the favour if they're interested.

It might make all the difference....

(Now, remember, no shouting at Filly...)

Guess i am quite lucky re chocolate as DS doesn't like it He loves his sweets though and does still get a sweet for doing poo in toilet.

I am fairly strict re sugar etc too but like Filly have relaxed quite a bit since he turned 3. He does not drink anything except water or milk though. He has had the (very) odd sausage roll from greggs ok flame me when we have been in town) but has never had a happy meal.

Lilyloo - think you are tight take each day as it comes.

All this stress yesterday started because the sink was blocked (have put oil down sink ) and we could not unblock it. It then started DH on the I can't cope route

Well, can't get through to CAB...typical constantly engaged.

Filly i am going to have to do something as i feel like the whole house is suffering now with me being so ratty and tired.

I am happy to give dd formula for a night it's just that she is in our room so i will be disturbed think i may need to sleep down here.

Just worried suggesting that to dp he will think i am being ridiculous. He obv has to work during the day and i dont Even had massive argument about asking him to help contribute to cleaning last week wih him saying i managed to do it when i worked 3 days.

yes but then i didn't have a baby who didn't sleep at all, 3 dc's to sort out, support him with his job issues, had no money worries and hadn't just been studying for an exam

Lilyloo - could he get up in the morning instead with the Dcs? Maybe you could sleep in for another 2/3hrs. On a weekend obviously.

I have to say for all DH is putting me through ( a hell of a f**king lot!!) he will get up in the morning with Dcs and let me sleep. I slept till 10am this morning

The farm is near me in Northumberland Kelix.

www.whitehousefarmcentre.co.uk

Simpson - slept til 10 . DS was awake 12-1am then 5 am, then 6, then DH woke us again phoning the house at 7am as dog had gone AWOL in woods for 30 mins and he wanted me to chck he wasn't at the back door. Stupid hound has also been sick in the hall. I'm off to take him out for a walk with DS in backpack - am trying to do lots of walks on days I don't work weather permitting.

been to Weightwatchers and have lost 7lb in 2 months, slow and steady. Only 9lb to get back to pre PG weight!

Have told DH I want a night alone in a travelodge for my birthday. I'm only half joking!

Ange i would book into mine but i know i would sleep better in my own beds might book one for dp and dc's

Simpson he does get up if it's really early but i do school run and need to have us all out of the house and ready for 8.20 and dp leave for work at 8 so sometimes get an extra half hour if they up at 6 ish!
Then Sun ds and dp go to football at 9!

Will have to see if i can get one at il's on Sat!