Oct 2007: This little piggie ate lots of Christmas turkey.... all by themselves!

[alicet]

Thought this was appropriate given latest discussion and thought I would start a new thread before this expires!!!!

So sorry to hear about your Grandad Inzi - I hope he makes a swift recovery,

Crochet thinking of you today!

I have been feeling rough the last few days and I had convinced myself that I was pregnant. Just took a test though and it was negative so feel a bit sad today.

Inzi - Hope your grandad gets better soon. Hope you catch up on the sleep you've missed too and that the rash goes away!((hugs))

Crochet - Hope things are going ok.

Stefka - I hate it when that happens, I had convinced myself I was last month as I'd been feeling sick, was so dissapointed when the test was neg. Back to trying this month though, hope it doesn't take ages! Sending ((((preggers))) vibes to you x

Sunny -Hi! good to hear from you, glad all is well in the sunny house now

J20 - lmao at you falling asleep whilst your friend was there

Muppet - Hope you haven't over done it sanding the stairs! ollie sounds like a very clever little boy, his answers are so funny . at the chocking incident, sounds like you dealt with it very well, I would have been beside myself.

LLL - Hope the tidying went well

Polar - Great to hear from you, glad all is well and hope 2009 is a good one for you. Do pp back in whenever you get a chance

Floria - Hope Alex's cold passes quickly and you feel less frazzled soon x

Alice - Glad the sleep prob is sorted and the 'chat' wasn't needed. Wow at Adam walking, thats great!

Dylan has been cruzing since 11mo and can now stand alone but has only taken 2 and a half steps once and nothing since, i'm getting impatient and want him to walk but I know i'll regret that once he is cause i'll be run off my feet!

WWAJC - Hope your dh's op goes ahead this time and all is ok.

Les - Hope you're feeling better. The receptionsits at my ocs are awful too, so rude

Strawberry - Hope you are feeling better and the conjunctivitis is clearing up

Mine - Hope you are doing ok

I'm not sure Dylan has a 'hand' yet, he sucks his index finger and middle finger on his left hand so it's out of action some of the time but he grabs things with both hands. We're both right handed but also quite good with our left hands too..

Is anyone following the Paul McKenna thing yet? I've been following it since monday, feeling good so far, it has changed my attitude to food and it really helps me to stop craving chocolate (my downfall), the good thing about it is however that I can eat what I want . I feel less bloated although not sure i've lost any weight yet but i'm not supposed to weigh myself for 3 weeks...

Well, we're going to meet up with my parents on sunday. They're going to stay in a holiday home near here and we'll go to see them for the day with Dylan so they can meet him (I don't want them at my house yet as I still don't trust them and they have a habbit of 'turning up' uninvited when we fall out and causing arguments and generally maiking our lives hell. They don't know my address at the moment).

I do want to try and sort this situation out but it is one step at a time really as my parents just don't seem to get that the way they treat/have treated me is unacceptable and generally distrespectful. They have a very controling nature and turn on anyone who does not agree with their point of view. Also, if I am offended by something they say and stand up for my self or if I disagree with them they say things like 'you never used to be like this, your dh has changed you, it's all his fault etc etc', this makes me very angry and hurt and upset for myself and dh as it isn't the case, I have my own mind and he doesn't control me in any way, it's them theat try to do that! .

Anyway, i'm just praying it goes ok and they don't make any nasty comments to dh. My mum in particular has a habbit of trying to pick out weak points in our relationship and trying to emphasise them to try and come between us, she is a very clever maniplulator and can be nasty to you and then make out that you are over reacting and it is all your fault .

Dh is scared she will try to brainwash me and get me and Dylan away from him. I have assured him this will NEVER happen as I know what she is capable of and I will never fully trust her again.

One of the most annoying things is that she keeps making out that the reason we (by we I mean me, dh, both my bro's and both sils') haven't spoken for 3 yrs is everyone's fault and that we are all equally to blame. This isn't true, she was repeatedly horrible to all of us and cause so much stress and upset for us all that we decided we weren't going to accept being treated that way anymore.

She is now saying it just happened because things got twisted and lies were told and people were misunderstood.

Well, myself and my bro's have told the truth all the way through as to the reasons we stopped speaking and the only person who has lied is my mum in her attempts to manipulate everyone.

I don't think she'll ever admit this situation was her doing but I'm damn sure not going to take the blame myself when i've done nothing wrong, all I have done is react to her actions accordingly and tried to protect myself and my family from her emotional abuse.

I'm not discussing this with her this weekend as we have agreed to have a civilised meet up without arguments so they can meet Dylan but she keeps saying that we should discuss it when Dylan is not around some other time. I know she only wants to discuss it all so she can try and convince everyone it wasn't her fault. Well it was her fault and she may have brainwashed my dad that it wasn't but she ain't gonna do it to me!

Sorry to go on and on but I needed to get that off my chest even if no one reads it. If anyone has any advice it would be most welcome.

Sorry for the MASSIVE post, off to give Dylan lunch now, hi to everyone i've missed, back soon x

Dal-just remember that you can step away from them at ANY time, You have the control in the situation, not THEM. You should also make it clear, that you are doing them a huge favour by allowing them to even see Dylan and you and they should be humble, if they start trying to get manipulative again, then step away. good luck

Inzi-I feel your pain, and massive sleep vibes coming your way, i used a form of cc, when i put Shannon down, if she doesn't settle, i usually go and put some teething gel on her and that usually settles her, in the middle of the night, i usually leave her for a while before i get up as she sometimes settles herself again. Rich stayed last night and she was screaming for quite a while, i kicked him out of bed to go see to her as i just couldn't wake myself up enough to get out of bed! Also, hope the rash has gone and your grandad is OK

Crochet-hope M is ok, hopefully not anything too serious as she hasn't gone downhill in the past few days.

Oh, i've forgotton everything else people have said, sorry.

I have been looking at nurseries the last few days, i wanted to put Shannon in for a few hours a day to get her used to other children and have time to do college work, i found a really nice one thats £14.50 a session, but she'd only be going 9-12.30 and i don't think i can really afford it, or their are a few childminders round here, that will possibly work out a bit cheaper, but then she isn't gong into a nursery enviroment which is what i really wanted her to go to to benefit from, so i am not sure what to do, also there is a nearer nursery which is probably a bit cheaper but it was horrible.

Dal - you are being fab! I think the meeting in mutual teritory is a fab idea and definately don't give them your adress. Think how quiet it's been and how calm you have been knowing they will not be turning up unannounced... (I know it's caused you distress also but these are the positives!)

I would just like you to know that you are a wonderful mummy with her own family and that you have survived 3 years without your mother in your life and if needs be you could do it again. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for and you and dh have a strong relationship that has been cemented with Dylan. Your mother may not have changed and you need to be prepared for that, she may have had some sort of change of of heart but I would think that unlikely. Don't make any decisions on the day (will you see me? When can I come and visit? Whaat's your address?) and have stock answers ready so you don't get nervous and promise things you'll regret later. I would say 'That sounds good, once Dh and I have a had a chat we'll get back to you...' This will give you the power and also help you keep calm whilst also presenting you and dh as a strong unit.

Your brothers and SIL's all agree with what you feel so you are perfectly valid in what has happened (Do they know? Are they meeting up also?) so whatever your mother says or how she tries to make you feel (I would think It'll be on the lines of 'woe is me, no one has spoken to poor me for so long...' but I could be wrong!) you are in the right and you are in charge xxxxx

Ollie had another paeditrician app at the hospital today and she didn't seem to worried about his excessive tiredness saying that it was 'maybe just his thing that he gets tired' When I mentioned that school was concerned she said that he probably puts everythign into school and that's why he's tired. I said this had been going on for months now and she siad that it could... I said that his glands were up all that time and she said 'Yes I can still feel them though that's normal as he's a child and you can feel them more easily as a child.'

I am totally by all this. We have said he's too tired, school have said he's too tired and yet all the DRs we see seem to think it's fine as 'he looks healthy enough'
We are having a blood test as they don't have the results from the last one (the last paediatrician app didn't have them either so I think they have gone walkabout) SO I've to make an app for him to have that and she said she'll see us in 2 months to check how he is and look at the results of the blood test. Dh wants the results earlier so will have to chat to the blood test people to find out if we can have them before this time.

Just feel really confused as Ollie is pael, tired and has dark circles under his eyes after 2 days back at school.... he slept all the way to pick up Henry from Nursery (1hr and then for another hr after that) he woke up disorientated, crying and saying he was cold and tired. He ate and went to bed. Surely this isn't normal?????

Thanks for the support ladies...

J20 - Yeah, I know I can walk away, I just don't want them to make me have iyswim. I wish they'd just behave. we'll see. I haven't even thought about nursery yet to be honest but I don't think we can really afford it at the moment so not really an option...

Speaking of not being able to afford things we had a run in with our bank this week. The situation was our fault really but they were still way too harsh.

We have been short of cash lately and with xmas things have been extra tight. Anyway, in the middle of dec we went over our overdraft limit by about £150 without realising for 10 days and then dh got paid (he gets paid 4 weekly rather than monthly so hard to keep a track of bills when he gets paid on a different day every month) which took us back inside the limit again.

We usually check the balance now and again but had been busy and thought we had enough in and had been using our card no problem and had no word from the bank.

We got back from visiting my bro's to a letter from the bank saying they had tried to contact us about our account (they hadn't at all, no calls or messages at all) and another letter saying we would be charged £150 for going over out limit .

Dh rang and they said that it is £25 a day for being over limit and it is capped at £150. Dh explained that he thought this was an extortionate fee for going over the limit and not justified at all.

He explained that we had a young toddler and things had been tight but had we known we had gone over we would have immediately transfered money from savings to cover it (which we now have). He also put to them the fact that if someone is struggling with money then how is it going to help them by charging them that amount? Surely this would cause a snowball effect taking us over the limit each month after meaning they could charge us more fee's .

Anyway he had to escalate to 4 different people till he got to the call centre manager and the best she could do was to half it to £75 . We agreed to that as they wouldn't budge but we still can't afford that so have had to borrow it from the bank using our 'flexi loan' facility to pay the bank back, how ridiculous.

I wouldn't have minded a fee of £25-£50 at the most but we have never ever gone over our limit before and they weren't very forgiving

Muppet - I have thought a lot about how calm and quiet my life has been without my parents and it has been one of the hardest things I have done to get in touch with them knowing it will ruin that.

I fully expect my mum not to have changed, I know her better than she thinks and I'm not expecting a miracle. She has been mostly civil and reasonable when I have been talking to her on the phone but sadly I know she is just 'controlling' herself so she can meet Dylan. I'm trying to be optomistic and sort this out but I have a feeling she won't be able to keep up the falseness for long. She has made little comments now and again on the phone that have made dh and I feel uneasy. For eg: 'I'm so glad you're back to the Amy I know' Erm, no! I haven't changed, nor was I taken over by aliens, you were shit to me and I stopped talking to you, I didn't change my personality nor did my dh. And also 'All girls need their mother' said with great emphasis on the 'need' bit and repeated at regular intervils as if she is trying to brain wash me in to believing I can posibly survive without her. And to dh 'we accepted you when you first got together with Amy till all this happened' as if the situation was Dh's fault, and also to dh 'what do you think fil meant when he said he would knock your teeth out, it's just a yorkshire phrase' for one, this intimidated my dh and upset me greatly at the time so why bring it up again to intimidate him further and then try to excuse it as a 'phrase' .

My mum has a habbit of repeating the same thing over and over but just rephrasing it slightly, very annoying!

That is one thing i'm nervous about is her pushing for further meet up dates and general info. I don't want to sounds akward and cause an argument when she does this but I also don't want to give in and answer just to shut her up then as you say regret it later.

My mum is the main instigator of the bad behavious but my dad just follows everthing she does and believes everything she says and backs her up so he's almost as bad really.

I have kept my bro's and sil's updated on my 'progress' and they know we are going to meet. I am the guinea pig for want of a better word, if it goes ok for me then they may also get in touch. My eldest bro has a baby (8mo) so is concerned for her and is being very cautious at the mo.

You are absolutely spot on when yu say she is all woe is me, she keeps saying 'can you understand how we feel having been shut out of your lives for 3 years? it has been sooooo stressfull and my blood pressure is through the roof, we've had a terrible 3 years etc etc' My response to this so far has been, yes, I can understand but we had very valid reasons for not talking to you, also, I am not responsible for your ailments, your blood pressure is not my fault.

I just hate the way she tries to pressure me and get in to my head, it's so tiring dealing with her.

Sorry you're having trouble finding out what the problem is with Ollie, it must be so worrying for you. From your description he does sound very tired but i'm no expert. I hope you can get the blood tests faster, the last ones Dylan had took between a few days and 2 weeks so unless it's different things they're testing for I can't see why it would take that long?! You know him better than anyone, if you're not happy keep going till you get some answers x

Oh Dal, i can understand why you are reluctant to allow her back into your lives, my step dad is similar, he once rung me to moan that I hadn't rung him for a while, to which i started screeching at him that he has my phone numbers, my address, and he hadn't been in contact with me either, so he was just as bad, he didn't ever say anything like that to me again. Anyway, that was a bit off subject, just keep in mind that you are calling the shots, and stay firm with them

Re the bank, I didn't think they where allowed to charge that much anymore, can you tell them that you are going to close the account if they don't waiver the charge? They are able to do that, exp got a lot of charges one time, and while he was on the phone, i was kicking off in the back ground about it, mentioning reporting them etc, and they didn't end up charging him anything.

Re nurseries, we've been to have a look at the horrible small dirty cheaper one, and they are a lot more flexible with times and prices, but the other one is so nice, but its also further away from me....I am so undecided...oh also the nicer more expensive one charges when you go on holiday and the other one doesn't..grrrrrr

You're right J20, I just need to stay firm and remember it has to be on my terms or not at all.

I thought the bank weren't allowed to charge like that anymore either but apparently they seem to think they are . Dh did threaten to close the account but they still wouldn't budge

Hope you get the nursery thing sorted out, it's such a hard decision to make anyway without all the extra factors to think about.

I don't know what to do about the nursery, in all senses the cheaper(well, its not that much cheaper) nursery would be more convenient, better times, prices, closer but i just really liked the other one! I Think i will try the cheaper one for a few weeks to see how it goes....

Well i've just carried Ollie from the car upstairs to his room (2 flights of stairs) and put him to bed still in his uniform as he was basically still asleep....

He fell asleep at 5 when we got into the car to pick Henry up and we got back at 6, he was still asleep so I left him in the car (if I manage to wake him he cries and wants to be carried in doors which I can't if I have Henry) and took Henry in to bed. I sat in the playroom where I can see Ollie in the car -literally the car is right by the window - and I eventually got him at 6.20. I lifted him out of the car and took him inside and he didn't wake until we got to the stairs to which he said 'Is Daddy home?' I said no not yet and it was bedtime. Took him to his room where I took his coat and shoes off and he crawled under the duvet and went off back to sleep.

Surely this isn't normal?????

And I can't do this for very much longer as I was very out of breath afterwards but if I wake him and make him walk he doesn't know where he is and becomes very distressed.

oooh muppet-so sorry, completely forgot to reply to you earlier-it seems that you have a gut instinct that something isn't right, so you need to keep nagging the docs, however i remember dd1 being like this when she started full time school, she was shattered by the time she got home on an evening, she got used to it eventually. BUT Like i say, if you feel their's something wrong then theres a good chance you're right, mothers instincts and all that xx

Hi J20, I know I could be being overprotective and that they do get tired when starting school but even school say this seems to be in excess of what they'd expect. He went to nursery 4 days a week and school is only 1 extra morning -would this have made such a dramatic effect? Plus this all started last year just before the spring term half term when he was in nursery not in September when he offically 'started' school (or moved rooms as it was in the same place!)

I sound really defensive don't I?

I just can't put my finger on it but I feel there's something not right with him...

That is NOT right in a 4/5 year old. Stick to your guns and demand a second opinion or referral to a specialist.

Dal - hope the meeting with your parents goes ok. Take NO shit. xx

Can't catch up much more, in the middle of the bedtime routine

Dal I am really appalled that the bank would do that to you. Have you had a look at money saving expert? I know they have info on how to reclaim bank charges on that site. It's disgusting the way the banks behave. Like you say how are you meant to stay out of debt if the charge you in that way. It seems the banks always win no matter what is going on.

Really hard situation with your parents. Stay strong and remember that anything your mother does/says is about her and not you. Stick to your boundaries. I hope it goes well.

Muppet that must be really worrying about Ollie and so frustrating to not be able to get an answer as to what is going on. I think with the NHS you just have to keep shouting until someone listens to you sadly.

My appointment came through for the breast clinic - it's not until the 27th of Jan.

I am having a wee dilemma. A job has come up in a local school but it is full time and I really do not want to work full time as I want to be at home with DS. DH would like me to go for it in case he doesn't get work when he finishes his course. The thought of being away from Dareh five days a week makes me feel ill though but at the same time I need to consider what is best for the whole family. To add to the mix do you remember the part time job I went for a while back who told me I came second? They called today to say one of their other drama teachers is sick and could I come in and do supply for a wee while two and a half days a week. It would be temporary but it's something and it is experience and it is part time.

I don't know what to do about the full time job. I don't really want it but I don't want DH to use it against me if you know what I mean and I don't want to regret not going for it later on. I just so wish it was bloody part time arghh!

Dal - i can;t believe you're parents are so manipulative and controlling. Why do you want anything to do with them......?
I hope it all goes well, and that they appreciate the privilege they have of holding their gorgeous Grandson. Like others have said, be strong, stay firm and take no shite!

Muppet - Ollie doesn;t sound right to me, you are perfectly within your rights to ask for a 2nd opinion. Can you get a letter from the school to support your concerns...? You know him best, if you think something isn;t right, then keep shouting about it.

Stefka - great news about the jobs!! Its a difficult decision to make. I didn;t want to work full time, in fact i left my job because it gave me no time with Eren at all, but DH has a steady job that allowed me to chuck it in. If i had to be the main breadwinner, then he would nit have been so encouraging!! Maybe if you go for the temporary supply work, it may lead to something more permanent and still flexible......

Inzi - i hope your grandad is ok.

Crochet - What did the doctor say about the rash.....??

Not much to report from me other than the fact that Eren is teething AGAIN and refusing the food i spend so much time preparing. Will teething ever end . He is also refusing to nap in the afternoon now, but ends up falling asleep at the dinner table with food in in mouth .

Love and waves to everyone

Mine - I don't know why I want anything to do with them. I guess if I could have things my way I would just meet with my dad as it is him I want to meet Dylan really. I can't do that though so it's all or nothing, take the rough with the smooth.

Wow! You lot have been chatty this past 24 hours!

I feel another monster post coming on!

Went back to doc. It is rubella, but rash is now starting to fade, and she?ll be fine to go back to nursery on Monday. Now MUST make sure I book her in for her jabs ? there?s been cases of measles around this area ? and that?s a really frightening one!

Inzi ? praying for your Grandad.
M has started to scream inconsolably if J goes in to her in the night ? R was about the same age when he started to do the same thing ? meant I always did night duty until he started sleeping through ? well, if she follows the same pattern, that?ll be another 18 months yet [yawn]

Sunny ? lovely to hear from you ? good to hear all is well with you and yours ? long may it continue!

Stefka ? sorry to hear it was a ?ve ? you?ll get there! Also thinking of you on 27th January ? it?s a bummer you have to wait such a time. Moan all you want to us ? that?s what we?re here for!

What a dilemma about the jobs! Have the supply post job given you an indication of how long the post will last? If it?s likely to be long term, then perhaps you should go for that.
The other option is to take the full-time job (for the time being, carry on reading!), then after a term or so, put in an application to go part time or ask if you can do a job share. They have to consider it ? I?ve never known anybody on a main-scale post have a request to go part-time turned down, and the union will support you with your application. (sneaky, moi?)

Dal ? thinking of you meeting your parents on Sunday. I think you?re very wise meeting on neutral territory ? hope it all goes well. Your line should be if she starts to bring things up: ?I do not want to discuss this with you now.? And change the subject ? just like you?d do with a toddler As usual, having now read muppetgirl?s post, I agree entirely with her!
I find that if I think of my MiL as a rather dull child, I don?t get quite so irate !
I really hope you get the bank thing sorted out ? threaten to change your account to a different bank if they don?t refund the whole amount ? that?s worked for me every time in the past (except once, when I went ahead and changed bank, then got a phone call after I?d set things in motion, asking me to stay, to which I said a very firm NO!)

Muppetgirl ? you really should think about writing ? perhaps an advice column?
I really hope Ollie is ok ? it doesn?t sound normal at all! I really think that you should ask for a second opinion.

J20 ? the nursery thing is an absolute minefield ? has your local leisure centre got a creche? Ours does, and it?s only £2.50 an hour, and once you?ve left your child there once, you can leave the centre ? would be cheaper and probably more convenient than a nursery.
The other option is a childminder ? they tend to take them out places all the time, so that the children do get to mix with lots of other children ? especially if they?re part of a network ? the NCMA have details of all the childminder networks in each area.

Mine at the thought of another one who falls asleep at the table! R used to do that too!

Right, am off to play on the Wii! It?s been a somewhat manic week in the crochet household as you can imagine, so I?m going to go and hulahoop until my head spins!

Love to everybody I haven?t mentioned!

you can pick your friends, but you can;t pick your family as they say...... i hope it goes well, but just remember that they will be on their best behaviour so don;t let 'em suck you in!
xx

Crochet-have asked around about childminders-the thing is i really wanted her in a nursery enviroment in preparation for school nursery etc, they take them at dd1s school from 3, so i will prob try and get her in their when the time comes, the leisure centre i used to work at may be an idea-will have to ring and check prices, though, tbh, its driving me mad and i think i may settle on the closer one to me and try her there for a few weeks..

stefka-there is nothing to stop you going for the job...interview experience, shows DH you've made an effort and you can allways turn it down if they do offer it to you, can you imagine what a boost it would be if they did! I totally understand about not wanting to leave Dareh though, why not do the substitue one for what is offered and see how you feel about it while you are doing that. Bummer about having to wait till 27th, we are here for you to talk to

Mine-Shannon is still constantly teething, it makes me quite sometimes too, you feel like getting the pliers out or something!

Muppet-Totally agree with LLL, stick to your guns, you know i've mentioned dd1 being overweight and everyone keeps saying she'll grow out of it etc...well the school nurse finally got in touch with me, then weighed and measured her, apparantly she has been following the same centile since before she was 4, and is bordering on obese, the school nurse thins because she has followed it for so long then it is likely it will continue-but when she starts puberty, its likely she will get even more overweight. At last someone has finally confirmed what i have been saying all these years, i just don't know what i can do about it when still noone will listen to me over it. Have managed to get a place here starting in a couple of weeks, which at least gets us started off.

going to try and get an early night tonight, me and Rich have been arguing a bit as we are both so tired, he's gone home after i was in tears with various things, I just always seem to have so much on, oh I wish for a quiet life!

OMG you have been so chatty today!!!

Inzi hope things with Jane have settled. Adam did this - went totally mental and screamed his head off for ages a few nights in a row and then suddenly stopped and started settling again so fingers crossed for Jane too... Also sending you many get well vibes for your grandad and a big hug for you xxx

Crochet glad that M is OK and it's not measles.

Dal hope your visit with your parents goes OK. I second everything muppet says - fantastic advice from someone who has been there!!! Other advice is also spot on. I would also add that if she tries to discuss what is happened to calmly say 'Mum we agreed that it is not appropriate to talk about this today' and change the subject and that if she persists to say 'We agreed not to talk about this and you are ignoring my wishes to not talk about it - if you continue we will just leave' or something similar. don't wait for her to wind you up - nip things in the bud early. And if she has a pop at your dh (even a sly backhanded one) say something like 'Mum I think it is very rude for you to talk about dh like that and I do not want to hear anymore / continue this conversation' etc. And follow up with the threat to leave as above. You know - like disciplining a toddler - tell them what behaviour you don't like, give a warning, and if they ignore you follow it through. If you can do this calmly and without raising your voice / getting upset it will have much more impact. To the 'you never used to be like this before you met dh' maybe say something like 'I never had any confidence before I met dh because you erroded it all. It is not him brainwashing me it is me finally having the confidence to say what I really feel to you' I am sure you are able to think up plenty of things like this yourself though! And to reiterate one of muppet's points DON'T agree to ANYTHING at the time - just tell her that after such a long time you both have a lot to take in and that you will get in touch when you have had a chance to think about things.

Sorry that turned into such a rant - didn't mean to go on so long!!!

Stefka good to hear your appointment is through - sorry you have another couple of weeks worrying though x About the fulltime job I think its a really hard one. However you might find that if you go back fulltime then you can apply to convert to part time later? Also in teaching the day does end early - I have a friend who leaves school as soon as the kids do and picks her dc's up from the childminder just before 4pm and then does any prep work etc when they are in bed and at the weekend. Means she has less time to herself but probably has as many hours with her dcs as I do working only 3 days a week but not getting home until their bedtime - just a thought... Temporary supply stuff sounds great though for the timebeing and as Mine says it could lead to something else?

Muppet sorry that you feel the paediatrician was dismissive. On the plus side she will be very experienced with children both well and ill and is probably very good at recognising a sick child. I'm not dismissing your concerns though and if you as his mum thinks he is not himself then your opinion is as important as a million doctors! Regarding the blood tests as long as they are routine tests the results will be availible already. So why not give it till Monday and then call the consultants secretary and ask for them. This is not an unreasonable request. If they say the results are not available then ask when they will be and call back then. If you are not happy with the paediatricians advice at the end of the day you are entitled to a second opinion. Good luck! Oh and isn't your midwife appt soon?

J2O good luck finding a nursery - Unfortunately the expensive ones are not cheap are they which is well out of order! My boys thrive there so fingers crossed you can find a good one that doesn't break the bank...

OK so what was meant to be a quick post is still going 20 mins later Hello too to those not mentioned personally and lots of hugs to you...

I have been at work today and had some quite shocking news about a lady who I admitted on Tuesday when I was on call. She was only 43 and came in with a suspected abscess on her bottom. She had a very high temperature and pulse but didn't appear too ill. And there was a hot red area on her bottom but nothing that could be surgically drained (which is what abscesses need). I put her on intravenous antibiotics and admitted her because of the temp and pulse and planned to either drain the abscess when it presented itself (the presumption being that she had one deeper in that would show itself given time) or allow the infection to settle if the antibiotics proved to be all she needed. She was seen by the consultant too who agreed completely with this plan.

I was extremely shocked and upset to find out that in the early hours of the following morning she had a cardiac arrest and died after being increasingly unwell overnight. The registrar on call spent most of the night with her and had involved the intensive care team and given her different stronger antibiotics but all in vain it seems. She has had a postmortem and in fact she had an abscess deep in her pelvis and died of overwhelming septicaemia. I have discussed it with the consultant today and I don't think there is anything we could have done differently or that we did wrong but it is hard to accept that maybe it was just 'her time' - I can't bear to think of her poor poor family - you just never expect this sort of thing to happen to someone this young and with such a seemingly innocuous problem.

Sorry for that rant but as you can imagine its been on my mind a little....

Anyway I think I am approaching one of Dal's epics so off to do something else now. Hope to see you tomorrow xxx

crossposted J2O - sorry to hear about dd1 but good to hear your concerns are being taken seriously and that you have got a place on that programme - it sounds great. Sorry you and Richie have been arguing too - its always easy to happen when your shattered isn't it, even though thats when you just need a hug. I'm sending one your way instead xxx

Muppet Hope you don't mind but was telling mum about Ollie and she has a message for you. I have kept it in my email to send you.

one thing she said "Tell your friend to stop worrying please Maisy he will be ok"

DON'T ask about the Maisy ok!!!!!!!!

Alice that must have been so awful to hear. Even if there was nothing you could do it's very upsetting news. That poor family. I hope you are feeling ok.

J20 - that sounds really annoying about the childcare situation! It's always the way that things seem to be topsy turvy to the way you want them to be. I guess you get what you pay for.

Crochet so glad that everything is going to be ok! What a relief.

For some reason I am suffering from Insomnia. Despite Dareh getting me up in the night and at six am and me being exhauseted for the past three nights when I go to bed at about nine I just can't sleep. I just got up to have a hot chocolate to see if it will help. It's driving me nuts - I want to sleep!!

OMG Can you lot talk sometimes!!!

Dal; everyone has already said it all...you are doing the right thing meeting some where neutral...you know what to expect so wont be duped ...stay strong,I'll be thinking of you.

Inzi; thinking of you and your granddad.Hope Jane gives you a break and sleeps tonight.

Sunny;glad all is well again in the Sunny household (that must be a relief)

Stefka; I think Crochet has given you some fab advice re jobs. Isnt it just like buses though...nothing for ages then 2 turn up at once

Muppet; our nephew is the same age and has days like Ollie once a week or so...not everyday. You are a great Mum with wonderful instincts,you know what is normal for your son,I know you wont rest until you have got to the bottom of what is wrong I just hope the professionals dont make you work too hard/wait too long to get your explaination.

WWAJC; hope the op goes ahead on Mon this time.

Alex is teething ...nasty nappies (oh yes,not even making it to the potty),spiking temperatures, streaming cold, not eating or sleeping (not much change there then, but even less than usual) and we resorted to co sleeping last night...at least it gave him some comfort and he slept a bit ...I didnt...only got him down 30 mins ago...I'm now utterly ragged...what is more after getting the first 4 teeth (2 up, 2 down) months ago the ones that are coming through now appear to be molars ...whatever order they are supposed to come appear in I dont know but they are certainly giving us all grief(FT wanders off to bed muttering"It is a stage it will pass")

ooops meant to say Crochet;Glad M is ok
sorrythoseI have missed...exhaustion setting in...night night

lord! Xposted Alice, J20 ..everyone!
Big hugs all round seem in order..
Alice I know you did every thing you could [hugs]... it is just so sad and you would have to be incredibly heard hearted not to care.
J20; glad to hear the school nurse is backing you up...the course looks a good one ...DD1 wont thank you right now but as an obese child who never learned to balance intake and output I'm certain she will in the future. Sorry about the row,hope things get on a more even keel again soon.

..really am off to bed now

oh and if I'm not around for a few days it is because a friend has just been admitted to the local hospice, unlikely to come out again, we will be visiting etc ..... she's only 49 and has been complaining of "womens problems" for 10 + yrs and got fobbed off with the "it is because you are obese" answer every time until they finally diagnosed ovarian cancer last year...too late to do anything about it....