September 08 - Just ladies with babies

[pacita]

I thought I'd start a new thread before we run out of space...

morning ladies - yikes, or should I say afternoon?

Thanks Sass and Becaroo for tips again.

In answer to your questions, yes, I have taken Diego to the doctor, who game me antibiotics (finsihed the course and I'm back to square one) and a hydrocortison cream that i can use for 5 days max in really bad patches. I've not used it yet, as hydrocortisone in a two month old baby seems a bit much.

I have had some joy with badger balm, but definitely still not great. I am off to Spain tomorrow to visit the family and have arranged for a dermatologist friend to see him.

Will keep you posted, and thanks to all for the good wishes.

Re: doing the deed, I managed two weekends ago and it was nice, but there's been no repeat due to overall knackeredness and baby in the room. I have had an IUD fitted though, which was remarkably un-traumatic, so I'm ready for action if the occasion ever arises again!

debi

1. I hope you don't have to throw out formula coz ds only has one bottle a day so we're not getting through the box in under 4 weeks.
2. we've done it twice, but not with ds in the room. I wasn't in the mood, but knew it was important to do it for both our sakes, and actually it was quite nice. I've told dh it can only be between 7 and 10pm though - both dcs asleep and before the dreamfeed. After that any time spent not sleeping is a total waste IMO! Carrieon the hopeless romantic
3. dd had a very strong startle reflex so was swaddled for at least 4 months (can't actually remember back now, but remember taking some time to get her fully into sleeping bags)
4. I was drowning under washing (4 people in the house and two lots of washable nappies) but then we bought a dehumidifier. Best £80 we've EVER spent. I only use one laundry rack now, washing dries so quickly, and we've stopped getting condensation on the windows too. The rack is in our room coz I'd rather that than in the living room, although sometimes I get dh to carry the washing and dehumidifier downstairs overnight and everything's dry by morning. Still have to put the bamboo nappies over radiators though.

1. Formula milk - i try and buy 2 tins at a time if i had the money or mostly ill buy one as im ff.

1. Am I the only person on here who hasn't 'done it' yet? yes ive done it on my bday ...that was 3 weeks ago (blimey that had flown by!!!!!)...im full of cold atm and still slightly bit sore down there.

1. How long is it ok to swaddle babies for? the only time i swaddle is when its ready for her bedtime. (ive only just started using the swaddle for the past week).

1. Anyone else feel like they are drowning under dirty washing? yes yes yes.....ive got mine, dp and the 2 girls (and occasionally my SD's) clothes needs to be put away for the past week, plus the big laundry basket is still stuffed!!

Ladies,

today seemed like everything was going according to plan: Fed the LO, put him to sleep for a long morning nap and proceeded to sterilise the spanking new tommy tippee pump, the pump who is the key to the door of a full night sleep!

I proceeded to pump with gay abandon. Half an hour later I have VERY sore nipples and about half an ounce of milk. I feel cheated and desperate!

What am I doing wrong? is this because I've got very little milk or is it because this pump won't work for me?

boo.

pacita think it just takes a while for your boobs to respond to the request for extra milk. There is some good advice on effective pumping on LaLeche website. My best ever pumping session was when DH fed ds2 formula for last night feed and then I pumped after 7am ish feed (they say morning is best) and because i had 'skipped' a feed i managed to get 4oz in about 15 minutes. Mostly i get 1 to 3 oz in that time though. Good luck!!

Cheers plusone. I am such an idiot, I think I've over done it and my nipples hurt.

in answer to debis questions....

1. I'm not sure about the formula. (great start!)

1. I think we've had sex about 5 times, but I did have a good cs recovery. No time for it any more often as we're so busy.

1. I've never swaddled but I have heard that about 3 months is when they start to not like being swaddled.

1. The playpen is doubling up as a clothes airer. I am thinking of only buying clothes that can be tumble dried from now on. the kitchen is a right state, despite having a dishwasher.

I am going to a bf support group tomorrow, mainly to burst into tears I think . DD still won't take a bottle (any style) of either expressed milk or forumla, aargghhh! So I will see if the group can help me keep sane while I bf for a while longer.

carrieon thanks for the dehumidifier tip, sounds like a really good idea. 2 winters ago when ds1 was a baby we had quite a bit of damp in the house and I'd like to avoid that happening again. We don't have room for a tumble drier and I don't really like the idea of using one all the time anyway.
Where did you get the dehumidifier? Just somewhere like argos?

and thanks for the answers to the Qs, make me feel quite normal! I'll have a look elsewhere on here for the answer to the formula Q. As he is getting about 2 bottles a week and they are normally a mix of formula and expressed its going to take a while to get through the tin I've got.

do any of your LOs have odd shape heads? D has a big bump in one of the sides, which is becoming more noticeable.

hi all, E has had his 2nd lot of injections, and after a dose of calpol is now sleeping, poor little mite. was quite unconsolable for a while.
i've been in or next to tears most of the day, i felt quite ok until we got to drs. the hv there said i look exhausted. well i was up til 4 again this morning and had to get up at 9 forr the appointment.
i was telling her about his colic. all she could offer was we were doing all that we could and it will eventually pass. but she said she was more concerned with my support, or lack of it, and that i was home alone all day. You know when someone is being really nice, but telling you off at the same time.
shes put me down for additional visits from my HV.
I've always put my moods down to feeling tired, but I think their thinking along the lines of PND. but I have nothing to be depressed about, we've been blessed with a miricle baby, which ok, had a rough start but is doing well now.
I just don't know I want to go out more but just dont feel like going out.
sorry totallt self centered post.

Debi, we haven?t come remotely close to doing the deed! I had a fairly nasty tear, and am still relatively uncomfortable going to the loo ? won?t be contemplating anything until that?s gone, at least.
I?m trying to ease T out of swaddling (I have in my head that it?s not great for them to be swaddled once they?re rolling, but not sure). I have been leaving one arm out during naps for a while (alternating each nap), and will move on to leaving both arms out for naps and one arm out at night, then I?ll try him in a sleeping bag for naps, and then night time.

T has been fairly gosh darned brilliant for the past few days, but today and yesterday he?s got closer and closer to sleeping through the night (going till 5:30am before needing a feed). This is fine, but by the time he?s settled again, it?s really time to get up, so I?ve been letting him ?lie in? and starting the day later. It?s v tedious, but I?m hoping he?ll get to 6am soon, and I?ll be prepared to start the day!

Barnpot can't write much now but it's OK to be tired and down even with a miracle baby. Sleep deprevation is a terrible thing. You're not being self-centered at all

barnpot I know what you mean. Apart from T's colic (which is easing now) he is basically a very easy baby, but I still got very very very down a couple of weeks ago, and was entirely unable to cope. I'm sure if I'd happened to see the HV in that time they would have put me in the PND category too.
Don't feel guilty for being down, and if you can possibly force yourself to go out and do things, I promise it will make you feel better. I'm only on my second week of mother and baby group, but it's already becoming a lifeline for me, and I want to find more things to go to.

pacita I'm useless at pumping too - I have a medela electric pump, and on a really really good day I managed to get 2.5oz, but usually more like 1oz. I've kind of given up on it now, can't be bothered with all the effort for such a small reward.

Can anyone help with this teensy problem? It's not really a problem at all, just a minor irritation. T is now much happier (think we've cured the overtiredness problem, but have perhaps gone too far the other way), but still isn't going down in the evenings. He wakes from an afternoon nap at around 5-5:30 (it's an hour nap), and feeds from one side, has a quick play and a bath, and then has the other side. This takes about 1hr 45 mins in total, and he usually manages about 2 hours awake time during the day before going down for a nap. However, after his bath and bed routine, he is totally chilled but not remotely interested in sleeping. In order to prevent hysterics either DP or I have to sit quietly with him and sing or chat to him. He's too tired to play, and cries, but if we try to settle him, he gets hysterical. this means we don't really spend any time together, as he gets upset if we just try to hold him and chat to one another. It's like he's completely tired, but can't quite take the final step of dropping off.
I can't decide if he's too tired, not tired enough or what. If he does nod off, either in his cot or in the baby bjorn, his sleep isn't that good, and he keeps waking and needing re-settling.
Anyone got any ideas why he might be like this? He doesn't seem remotely distressed, or hungry or anything, just not quite awake and not quite asleep, and it takes very little to tip him over into hysterics when he's like this! I was thinking a sling that holds him in a position where he can see what's going on (no idea if such a thing exists?) might improve things...

I should add, he usually falls asleep eventually, after being up for about 3.5 hours, and then I wake him about 90 minutes after that for a last feed before bed. Maybe he's having too much sleep? He probably currently gets 12-14 hours in 24.

barnpot I was going to say the same thing as ninja. Even a miracle baby will still tire you out, it takes time to get organised with a new baby. Everything is hard when you are tired, even if deep down you are actually happy. Be nice to yourself and only do the bare minimum.

I do wonder about the HV visits. Even though mine were always nice they didn't help me, just chatted for a little while. Now, if the NHS could stretch to sending a reflexologist and proper counsellor round then I'd be up for it!

talking of hv's - mine cancelled her appointment 4 weeks ago by letter, saying she'd reschedule. she never has - it's a good thing i'm ok.

i met a mum yesterday who's lo was due the same time as maebh (20th sept) but born 4 weeks early. she's 7 weeks pregnant!! ooops

Debiethescot if you're worried about the powder and only give a small amount a week, what about ready made small cartons? I know they're a bit more expensive but not too much more.

Oh, and we've been v lucky as DD has been a good sleeper so we had sex about 4 weeks after my c-section and have done it a few times more too. I have to say we've done it with her in the room with us - always asleep in her basket tho! Doesn't bother me while she's tiny.

barnpot - come over here for a cuddle. I really do think that health professionals (and mil's!) forget the realities of having a new baby. Sleep deprivation is a wicked wicked thing that is used as a form of torture, yet new mothers (and fathers) are just expected to get on with it. And having your darling miracle baby doesn't let you off feeling knackered, drained and emotional.

Like Starlight said, try and get out as often as you can. Make yourself go out, force yourself on other people if you have too and invite people over to your house. It doesn't take the tiredness away, but it does distract from it.

If you want some ideas about getting out and about, let us know and we'll post some suggestions for you.

ninja - that womans situation is my worst nightmare come true

Starlight I'm not averse to feeding him, but he'll feed for about 3 seconds (literally), nod off for 2 mins, get pissed off, feed for 3 seconds, and repeat ad infinitum. If I (a) thought he was getting any goodness from this (b) it was any more convenient than just carrying him round for the evening (c) he stayed asleep after feeding or (d) it didn't leave me with very sore nipples, I would carry on, but I have to confess to finding it rather... ermmm... pointless since neither of us achieve anything from it.

Evening all. Not much to report here, and no helpful comments for any of your conundrums I'm afraid. Just wanted to say hi and I'm thinking of you all!

Oh sorry I forgot to answer dehumidifier question. We got ours from homebase, its an own-brand one and was £80. We originally got an Amcor one for £120 but it was ugly, noisy and not as efficient as one we'd borrowed from a friend, so we exchanged it for the cheaper, prettier, more efficient one. I would post the link but the homebase website doesn't feature either of the ones we bought which is a little as we got them in the last month.

New boiler day tomorrow for us...and I'm doing a question and answer session with some student doctors about childbirth!