July 2008 - Rolling, rolling, rolling, our babies just keep on rolling!

[sweetkitty]

Sparkly new thread

mcchesers -don't really get it. did she genuinely think she would be helpful without her husband there? maybe she thought she could just sit with him and not get up or something.

but its not really on that your FIL just left like that. not sure what i would do but probably chicken out and get your dh to explain to them that you are on your own there when he is at work and that when you need some help, you need help and not actually someone else to look after. with your folks being in the US (right?), you would think that you could rely on a little bit of support from his parents side.

anyway, hope you feel better soon.

pigley - not sure what to suggest. elodie has had times like that when she has growth spurts but usually she resettles quickly. does abigail cry if you just leave her in her crib/basket? just wondering if you could just feed her, then put her back down, put earplugs in and let her gurgle away until she resettles herself?
i know that things dramatically improved sleepwise after we stopped the "crutches" that elodie needed - eg the dummy, rocking to sleep etc. it took 3 days of just a little crying before she learnt to self-settle (still doesn't always work) but her sleep got so much better. she is still in our room (will very soon move her to her own room) but now when she grumbles and moans in the night, i ignore her and she quite often goes back to sleep. if she kicks off, i feed her silently with the night light on, then put her back down fairly quickly.

sorry - no expert at all but fingers crossed that she goes back to being a good little sleeper!

Tjuice - I think she convinced herself that she would be of help..but I also chickened out and had DH have a word and she blew up at him saying he would have been fine is his bouncy chair while I slept and that she could have picked him up and how could we deny her grandson's smile? She also lied and said that she forgot to tell my FIl that he had to stay when she assured DH that he would be there.

We take him over twice a month at best when we have time. I think my DH has the right to spend weekends with his own son, when he works all week. This reaction makes no sense to me. She could not even get off the sofa without my FIL's help and was insisting that she could watch the baby if I put him in his pram and she could push it in front of her and change him on the couch?! What in God's name? I'm furious about the whole thing and rather disgusted that she try and lay a guilt trip on my DH and I. To be so self centred to not even be concerned about her own grandson's safety is irresponsible. I'm not playing games with my baby's safety.

I'm just gonna leave it for a week..but we're pretty steamed just now. I think there's something really not right going on there which is a shame because that leaves us without any help at all now.

Thanks for the replys ladies... Handy to know im not alone in this. Is was begining to feel that EVERY baby I met was sleeping through apart from Abigail.

DD is still with us and we usually take her into her room to feed as not to wake the other too much but tonight im going to try feeding her in our room. Wondering if the trip across the hall contributes to waking her up abit
At the moment ill try any little thing to try and help!

Her feeds are always in the dark with no chatting/interaction. Last night during the waking (witching) hour(or 2!) I put her in the cot with the winnie the pooh light display thing which seemed calmer but i was unsure as to if it was actually waking her more or not.

Rumpel- I wouldnt mind if was the odd night... this has been for about 3 weeks now!

Tjuice- She does settle herself but spends the whole time shuffling around, kicking about and generally keeping herself awake! Weve tried rocking/patting which doesnt seem to make to much difference.

fingers crossed for a better night - she says that every night!

Rumpel- I remember our blind quote was similiar and DH saying "sod that we'll just squint!"

mchessers- thats rather naughty of the IL's!

mcchesers - I have been thinking about this one and trying to empathise with your outlaws. From your MILs POV her son has phoned and asked for help as your not well and have a small baby to look after, I think she genuinely wants to help out adn is maybe frustrated that she is physically unable to do so, it must be hard for your body to fail you so to speak. Perhaps she sees other Grans taking a more hand on approach and would like to do the same. Your FIL sounds like a lot of older generation men I know i.e. doesn't know what to do with a small baby it actually frightens them, my Dad doesn't hold B and only gets confortable around the older two when they are more robust IYSWIM.

In saying that you should have been put in the position that you felt A would have been at any kind of risk being looked after bu your MIL, your FIL should have stuck around. If A had been sleeping or settled could she not have just sat with him and anything else called you for? Would she have done this or would she have tried to attend to him herself? I'm just trying to play devils advocate here.

I know you feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

Will post more once I have them settled in bed

jodie - re the tomato - the book says a younger baby might be able to grab and gun food, but it is unlikely he will be able to actually eat / swallow any of it - it will fall out because the gag reflex prevents it from going down the throat. As the baby gets older the gag reflex moves back to allow pieces of food to be swallowed.
BLW starts with lots of playing with food, not eating. Sam might be able to do that before 6 mths. I suppose you also have to consider the allergy risks of weaning before 6 mths too.
I have started putting Poppy in the highchair to watch us at mealtimes, but her hand eye co ordination is not good enough yet to start blw. I'm going to wait for 5 more weeks (Poppy is 21 weeks now.)

pigley - sleeping - I would leave Abigail to it to settle, sounds like she might be disturbing you more than herself! I would stop with the pooh light thing, and def good idea not to move rooms if poss. Moving into her cot in her own room might help - Poppy has been sleeping 7pm til 5am / 6am since moving out of my room. Also when people say their baby is sleeping through take it with a pinch of salt. They will have difficulties elsewhere to compensate!

mcchesers - that was bad of your inlaws, but SK makes some good points. I wouldn't have been able to rest in your situation either. You have to trust whoever has charge of your baby.

gum not gun!

Jodie i come from the camp who believes that 4 months is really the cut off

I usually do 5 but tbh it feels natural to shove the odd crust at the baby now!! That is a coarse way of putting it - but to me having had a few babies now i do believe it.

Re BLW i also kind of believe in this - just beacuse it is the natural way a baby would feed - he/she might 'graze' quite happily on bits of fruit or veg 'gumming' them and really metabolising very little but kind of getting -used to food

TJUICE
I agree with you about taking away crutches. the minute i feel there is something becoming a crutch i kind of swifty remove it. N is very attacjed to his dummy so- for the last couple of days it has been zero dummy and interestingly he has done more 'fist sucking' which is what he did in the early days. i am hoping with more coordination it will leed to thumb sucking!

MCCHeesers - sorry you are sick
I dont know what to say about PIL - my advice would be to sadly rule them out as helpers as they sadly seem to not manage it . If fil will not stay then its more hard work for you with mil and really not worth it!

SK - ordered two buggysnuggles for the p and T one for M and one for N - we went for the faux fur sort of suedy one!!!

SK - You are absolutely right. I know she is a good woman, and my own mom feels the same way. Mad at herself because she can't look after the baby by herself. I would probably be the same way..in denial and angry. She wouldn't have tried to wake me, and the few minutes I left them alone, came back to a crying baby with a wet nappy.

I would feel more sympathetic if she hadn't made jealous comments about my having been pregnant and how she was going to "have him abducted" if we ever left the country and how she "wished the doctor would have just given my son to her after he was born". There are some unpleasant unresolved issues about not having had a second child there and unfortunately they have manifested themselves now.

I do like to visit and I so want A to have a relationship with his grandparents but she was so insistant I "go away" and leave her with him...there's something wrong there and the lying about it made me really uneasy. The FIL thing was just a dissapointment but we expected that. She has been really aggressively insistant about us leaving him with her alone and DH and I just feel weird about it. The only happy medium I can find is just bringing him round to visit twice a month. I don't want to come across as overprotective but I just don't trust her..even more so after today. Does that make sense?

Right B has been awake since 6pm, she had a bath then a feed at 7pm, she was grizzling as I put the big two to bed so I took her into bed and fed her until 9pm so she would have had a good 40 mins at least on the boob. She was asleep then she woke up, I changed her and gave her the other side she was asleep but I can hear she has just woken up again argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also am struggling but don't know what to do on the one hand anyone with 3 under 5 hubby working long hours and no help whatsoever would struggle, is it just a touch if the baby blues and sleep deprivation or something more sinister. I, too, want to lock myself away from the world. I feel the DDs suffer as we don't really go anywhere, they go to nursery or toddlers in the morning but most afternoons are spent in here with me feel like crap Mum.

Sorry getting back to you mcchesers - yes I can see what you mean now what odd things to say! The thing is A is at the easy stage re looking after in a few short months he will be crawling, then walking and it's true you do have to have eyes in the back of your head and even then sometimes you are too slow to avoid mishaps. They are so fast and theres no way she will be able to keep up with him then. So like Otter said maybe it's time to accept they will not be babysitters. I think 2 weekends a months is absolutely fine and also you are not refusing her access just that she is not left alone with A.

Notanotter - yey July 08 babies in buggysnuggles, theres no way I would get DD2 in one she's 3 in January though I'm surprised she still gets in the buggy.

SK- yes indeed. I talked to my HV today and she said I need just a wee breather just to get my head in order so I am going to take A to my childminder's on Monday to start settling him in and so I can take a bath. We really should meet up for coffee..or even a glass of wine

What is going on with these babies that won't sleep? Mine is down after getting up twice already since 8pm. let's see if I can get my head down..night night mums.

by the way you are an awesome mum! I think we are all feeling this way just now.

thank you I feel like a terrible Mum I hear all these other Mums away at soft play, on playdates etc and my two just seem to be at home with me, I do try and do various things with them though. Not always and I'm too ratty with them and short tempered sometimes.

Yes we should meet up I could bring B into Glasgow one weekend day and introduce her to A, he better not flirt with her though

Well B started crying went upstairs and she had rolled over so turned her over and she went to sleep she's exhausted. Wish she would learn to roll front to back too.

mcchesers i get you hun.........
hes your son and you gotta feel confident and trust the person caring for him 100%
the little comments over time have placed a seed of doubtand that nagging doubt wont go away
id be like you to
there our precious babies and just because its family we still have to be carefull

EEC how are ya doing, hope your feeling a bit brighter you know i can hear the sadness in your posts go see the gp hun,try to for us pnd is a nasty little things i dont like to hear you down
but please moan and say what you want on here thats what here for

anyway ladies of to bed so yall have a good evening.

Hey guys. It's nice (in an odd way) that I'm not the only one feeling low. We will get through this together!!

Ed is now NOT sleeping through (serves me right for sounding smug eh tjuice!!). I think he's beginning to need more than milk. (stands back to await the flaming). We have been giving him bits of our food to suck, eg a baton of cooked carrot or potato, or a spoon to play with. He gets it into his mouth fine and dribbles a lot. He wouldn't settle today and only slept for 20mins or so at a time and didn't seem satisfied after a feed. I'm not going to rush into weaning, but I'm not going to kill myself and ignore my baby to get to the magic 26 weeks!!

And no signs of rolling here either. He has grown out of the small size nappies though. totsbots size 2 and medium wraps now! Cass.

Hi ladies,

notanotter and Isaidno thanks for the advice, I think I'm going to get the highchair down next week, get him settled in that for a while and then, depending on how he is, give him some stuff to gum on, this will make him 21-22 weeks, I know he won't be eating any of it, but by the time he's 26 weeks he can then start properly. It might help with his teething too. I tell you what sold me on the BLW was the not having to tale anything with ou anywhere!!!! I HATED taking all the purees, extra milk for rice, extra pots,extra spoons, god I needed a suitcase to go out with DS1!

Mcchesers Not really got anything to add that hasn't already been said, just wanted to acknowledge the awful behaviour of your PIL. Hope your feeling better x

pigley and (everyone else) sending you baby sleepy vibes, I agree with whats been said Pigley, try not to stimulate her too much, so no more walking across the coridoor, and no more mobile! Her world is getting bigger and eyesight getting better and she'll be more aware of her surroundings now, which is another reason why she might have suddenly become unsettled. Also, is she constantly crying? Just a thought, but have you tried abit of Calpol? She might have a tummy ache or head ache or something???

SK I'm the same, I take DS1 to some sort of activity or visit every morning, bar thursdays, other than that, it's just the three of us, I feel bad too, but he doesn't seem to mind!

Thanks Jodie at least they have each other to play with or should that be fight today we had DD1 trying to wash DD2's hair with snot (gross), then they were butterflies that laid eggs (plastic eggs in their pants), DD2 was DD1's dog for a bit, they had the usual "nursery" upstairs oh I could go on, see first timers this is what that beautiful little baby turns into

Can't be that bad SK, you did it again!

I never learn Jodie although I'm not in the league of the supermums on this thread

Hey all

Re all these babies not sleeping etc - I'm doing training to be a supporter at our bf support group, and the trainer was talking in detail about the period from 4-6 months and how it is just choc full of loads and loads of brain development - so commonly babies start showing 'regressive' or newborn-like behaviour eg waking lots, feeding lots, being unsettled and not wanting to be put down - and apparently the more you can just kind of accept and go with it as it were, the more their little brains develop. Hope I've explained that right. I know Florence feels very demanding in that she just wants to be held, be with us, feeds all the time - she actually seems bored a lot!!

Anyway, I just keep hanging on to that and thinking 'it's just a huge developmental phase, it's not to do with feeding / weaning/ routines / whatever, it just is, and she'll get through it!! HTH...

Night night!

purplejenny that makes sense, Sam's going through a really needy phase at he moment, won't be put down, needs to see me all the time, I also think that where the babies usually wake up in the night and settled themselves, now they realise mummy/daddy is not around and get distressed. Someone told me this with DS1, It also happens when things change for them, so crawling, walking etc, their world gets bigger and its scary, they just need to know you're nearby.

just been reading through the thread
you guys say about sitting your LO,s in highchairs
can they sit in them then like fully in the upright position or are you wedging them in
samuel cant even sit in his bumbo he just flops all over the place..............actually his nickname here is floppy or all the boys call him pickle which was name for my bump and sadly its just stuck
if he cries a j who is 8 just says awww whats the matter pickle its quite funny

our highchair is quite padded and reclines slightly (for weaning at 4 mths I guess! - it's old!) Poppy's head rests on th back because it's quite high.

pjr - that makes alot of sense.

on the subject of bad mummies - children aren't too bothered about going out every day. SK - sounds like your two have loads of fun together. I like to think children need to learn how to entertain themselves, not always have mummy ready to provide an activity! I used to do lots of craft stuff, but now I either don't have the time, or can't be bothered! (I tell myself they do plenty of glueing at school and pre school!)

Morning all..just kickin' back with fun radio this morning. Another fitfull night. At one point A went off like a air raid horn..just out of no where and kicked and fussed with his eyes completely closed poor lamb took a bottle and two boobs last night and was right after it again at breakfast. You'd think he was training for the olympics!

At least after DH came home yesterday A rolled over from back to front right in front of daddy! Front to back seems a little bit harder just now, but he's trying to stick his bum in the air when on his tummy. Anyway, he requires all eyes on him just now when he's on his back as he rolled right into the entertainment system. Oh dear?!

Disney - Aidan can't sit upright without support. We bought a bumbo on ebay but haven't seen it yet. I figured if we were gonna do the baby rice thing, we'd try it in there. HV even said we could feed him in his bouncy chair.

SK- was just thinking about you last night. My SIL in Texas had three under 5 when her youngest was born and he's a mess! I think the difference is that she went back to work at 5 months with the little one but you could see how exhausted she was. I have so much admiration for you both..God knows it's hard work. We'd like to give A a little brother or sister when we get back to the states and I think that would be it.

Morning all!

Well we bit the bullet and didnt do the dreamfeed.
Abigail went to bed about 8.45 and We went to bed at 10.30 instead of 11 which was nice and needed.

Shes didnt wake for her feed at 11 just made some pathetic sounding whimpering for 5 mins. Had to stiffle laughing as it sounded very funny

Anyway she woke at 12.30 for a feed. which i gave in the dark in our room. So no walking across the hall and minumum movement and she went straight back down afterwards! She then slept till 5.15 and again went straght back down till 8am!-- Heaven!!!!!

DH and I feel soooo much more refreshed so long may it continue!

Thanks for all you advice girlies

Purplejenny- That makes alot of sense!

Disney- Abigail is pretty good in her bumbo now. She can now last about 15 minutes in there before getting fed up/tired. she really concentrates at holding herself upright.
She enjoys sitting up more than laying down now and isnt keen on being on her front.
The highchair we have was a present and is a huge Mammas and pappas one that reclines right back,rocks,is padded ect. Havent tried her in it yet. Its so big I think she will look lost in it!

Off to visit a friend today and her DD who is 3 weeks older than Abigail.

disney - thanks for your supportive comments - and everyone else too. In truth it all really boils down to DH who has been depressed for ever it seems (years, hence the year in France which obviously solved nothing so we're back) -don't want to go into detail here but it brings us all down and sometimes I just can't cope with him aswell as everything else. Being supportive and positive all the time is so hard. I guess I spend all my time trying to persuade him to go to the doctor, that I don't think about me, but we can't really afford for us both to be depressed for the dcs sakes.Got my first period last night (nice!) so am hoping that some of the extra bad feelings over the last few days were PMT not PND! We shall see.
I do feel a little more cheerful today, but will go to the doctor next week I think. Thanks everyone!

Disney - R can not sit up unaided at all yet. He would just topple straight over or slide right down.

SK - he he he . Snot shampoo! I love MN!

R up at 10.30, 1.30, 4 and 6.15 last night! little darling. It's going downhill rapidly. I really don't think I'm doing anything differently. Maybe it does all boil down to brain development PJR! It certainly makes me feel better to think that's it! Funny thing is that although it obviously makes me tired, I don't resent getting up to him at all (well hardly!) as he is so gorgeous and smiley! I do my best not to respond and to avoid stimulating him, but he is so hard to resist!