hi guys
been lurking a bit, not feeling able to post anything, not wanting to bring everyone down.
ive spent two days in tears and numbness, i honestly dont know how to move on from this.
making things harder is the fact ive been in full blown labour for the last 6 hours, and its so much harder knowing there is no baby at the end. ive been bleeding heavily too, im hoping that i wont have to have the d&c. i am terrfied i will wake up from it and be told they had to remove everything or something. irrational i know, but for some reason its much scarier to wake up not knowing whats happend, then to be awake during it. apparently there is a tablet i can take that will do the same thing, and i am puzzled as to why i wasnt offered that choice.
the kids have been good through this, tho tom keeps asking why im crying and i feel bad for him, but i cant help it. all my friends have gone on holiday this week, and so its just me and my kids alone in the house as i cant face the outside world for fear of running into a newborn.
atm im not sure if we will be trying again, i want to but im worried it will go wrong over xmas this time, and ruin xmas for my kids.
anyone know how soon you can start trying again, and the recommended break?