June 07...........the one where they discover they have a mind of their own; and aren't afraid to use it

[LackaDAISYcal]

oops last thread got to big!

that's the problem. I'm happier without him.

Aww Foxy. Daisy's right you know. When you don't see them for a bit you get into your own little rythm and you kind of resent it when they get back.
Any way you can get some time together on your own?

I just typed a long post, but remembered its a public forum!!!

now to bed. night all x

Daisy I just emailed you my real address.

If DD wakes up she just gets a cuddle and put back to bed. Only once recently have we had to give her some milk but she hadn't had a lot to eat during that day so we knew she was hungry.

Trying to cut down out the nighttime bottle now. she has a cup in the morning and then no milk till bedtime (other than in cereal) so I'm going to try giving her milk in a cup in the day and with her tea and then just puttingher to bed......although our end of the day cuddle with her bottle is still really nice and the only time she is happy to cuddle in these days.

My nappy stash is pretty embarrassing jbm; that's only half of the size 2 stuff and there is all the itty bitty nappies I bought for the baby as well . Mind you, a lot of the ones I'm selling are the M and B tester ones.

sorry things are bad foxy

Foxy sending you a hug.
Men are PITA sometimes arent they?
I guess you have to look at the overall picture and weigh everything up.

Ive been there - I was married for 10yrs before. FB me in you like.

When you say "Cup" Daisy - is it a spouted one? I give L milk in a Doidy cup - but she'll only drink a few sips - and the current game is to blow bubbles in it and then spit out whats in her mouth!

I may disappear in a minute too

xx

got it sputnik and have emailed you back.....but not on the RL one

I'm off to bed too. DD had a bad night last night (as did I) so I'm going to try an early(ish) night for a change!

night all

tommee tippee cup with the yellow spouty thing for her morning milk only jbm; an open cup the rest of the time (basic two handled cup; she always manages to pour the doidy cup contents all over herself ). she has got the hang of an open cup in the last few weeks.

so much for my early night! I have a bidding war going on over pop-in nappies and I have gotten sucked in to the Piers Morgan interview with Jason Donovan!

thanks storm; I think she was worried it would speed up her milk coming in or something. It's her first baby as well; I don't think she was expecting to be as full feeling as she is.

Good advice for foxy there; I know that I take things out on DH when it's something completely different at the real heart of the matter.

Right am defo off to bed this time.

night

my mum broke my travel cot. Nice one.

She is replacing it but I feel bad... it was £60!

how on earth do you break a travel cot?

Thanks JBM, might take you up on that

Good advice Storm. I started to do that when he was away. I've been brooding on his 'inappropriate behaviour' regarding him texting two different women. Both seem to have stopped now.

The fact is, I don't really trust him. I have too many '?' going back 6 years, and so am always looking for evidence of something going on. He rarely disappoints. But I've no actual proof of an affair/indescretion. Just suspicions. Perhaps is just karma kicking me in the arse?

There's also the issue about him not marrying me. Not because I desperately want to walk down the aisle, but because I want security, and all the above makes me feel very insecure. And, I have to buy into this 110% and make a big life more I don't want to make because of his job. Doesn't seem right to me.

Then there's the way he treats me and talks to me. Like I'm dirt or stupid. He makes no effort to make himself attractive (yet wants me to) but will sit watching the golf for 12 hours whilst I get on with life. Breeds resentment.

Anyway, he'll fuck up and it'll be the end because thats what I'm looking for, isn't it? Otherwise I wouldn't go searching. I have a perfect life, he makes it less than.

There, public forum or not, I've said it outloud.

foxy, I don't know what to say, so I won't, but , but well done for saying what you feel. sometimes to set things out like that make them clearer?

Ria Thanks.

Foxy, oh my, I can't blame you for feeling the way you do, that's shite.

I have heard a saying, if you suspect a man for cheating though, he probably is (but I do hope that saying is wrong in your case)!! Perhaps he is just having a flirt?

Have you tried sitting him down and talking to him, would that work?

And I don't think you are looking to fuck it up, if you are unhappy, that's not the 'perfect life' is it?

hugs foxy

Can you make the commitment "thing" part of the conditions attached to moving? I did that with DH when he wanted DS and I to move to Leeds to be with him. Said, yes, but not without a ring on my finger and the security that it would bring.

Not sure what to say about the trust thing. Is that a symptom of your insecurity, or is there just cause (mind you texting other women is a bit ). I must admit, I have times when I do wonder about DH and what he's up to away in Lincolnshire, but then, things haven't been easy for us since we got married and he is obviously sticking around for a reason, and I doubt the kids would be enough of a reason on their own iyswim.

but at the end of the day, any relationship is a two way street and if you are constantly giving it your all and getting nothing back then of course resentment will creep in. How about a romantic dinner a duex, and tell him how you are feeling, about him, the move, the effort that you put in and the lack of effort from him making you exhausted and resentful.

I suppose going back to work is out of the question? Maybe a bit of part time work would make him appreciate that you are a valuable part of the family and take you less for granted.

and I hope I haven't spoken out of turn.

sometimes I think it's true that most men just want a substitute mother; but one that puts out when they want it!

I think I know he has, and I think he was in the midst of relationship with her when I was PG with DS2. But we have our children and they come first. The boys especially need their dad. But having seen him at home, short of patience and yelling, not talking to them, just telling them, its really upset the equilibrium. I think he is trying to assert himself, and feels like a spare part in a well oiled machine.

Trouble is, that is exactly what he is.

When he got back I made a huge effort, we had a great time. Of course its hard to sustain it at that level, but he is making no effort at all.

We had an almighty great fight this morning. He was angry and aggressive, screaming at me. My approach is to carry on as normal,which winds him up even more. I've told him I don't want to be with him, but if he won't budge, what do I do? I can leave on my own, but no way would I leave my children.

And he won't do Relate.

I think I know he has, and I think he was in the midst of relationship with her when I was PG with DS2. But we have our children and they come first. The boys especially need their dad. But having seen him at home, short of patience and yelling, not talking to them, just telling them, its really upset the equilibrium. I think he is trying to assert himself, and feels like a spare part in a well oiled machine.

Trouble is, that is exactly what he is.

When he got back I made a huge effort, we had a great time. Of course its hard to sustain it at that level, but he is making no effort at all.

We had an almighty great fight this morning. He was angry and aggressive, screaming at me. My approach is to carry on as normal,which winds him up even more. I've told him I don't want to be with him, but if he won't budge, what do I do? I can leave on my own, but no way would I leave my children.

And he won't do Relate.

DD2 helped with that post

And no, you haven't spoken out of turn Daisy. I've spilled my guts to you guys because I trust you. Which is a bit wierd as its a) a public forum (apologies to Ezza and Soprana for getting heavy!) and b) I've never met half of you!!

We have a meeting of minds foxy......no physical meeting needed

Aw sweets, I had no idea things had got to this stage, but at least he knows that the kids are important, and more so than whatever was going on before. You've got my mobile number if you want to chat at all......and you're welcome here any time time (we'll squeeze you all in somehow )

and as a quick aside....I have sold loads of nappies and am a third of the way towards the P&T already