Sept 08 - newborns, milk, nappies and all the rest ....

[Sassafrass]

Hope noone minds me starting our post natal thread now that the babies are arriving so quickly.

Arrivals!
28-May - Johnworf ? Katherine, 1lb 8oz
30-June ? KashaSarrasin ? Felix, 1.39kg
26-July - Jenbot - DD, 3lb 6oz
11-Aug - Crabby - Lilah 2.34kg
13-Aug - Sassafrass - Katie Rose, 7lb 2oz
20-Aug - Sunshinemummy - Effy Marilyn, 6lb 3oz
22-Aug - Talia1 - Anna, 6lb 2oz
26-Aug - Jenpet - Samuel, 3.166 kilos (about 6lb10oz?)
28-Aug - Potxola - Lorea, 7lb 6oz
31-Aug - Digitalgirl - Alfredo, 7lbs
1-Sept - Debithescot - Andrew, 8lb 10oz

have added some piccies of DS to my profile

eandz I'd second Ninja's approach. Slings are good for drawing attention, - so is looking like you are struggling. There is nothing a new mum likes more than to see another new mum struggling with something - it takes the pressure of this ridiculous competition and impression of coping effortlessly we all seem to think we need to make!

Also potxola is right, that the less you care about making friends, and the more obvious that is, - the more you seem to make.

lollipopmother Your milk doesn't run out, but can take between 24-48 hours to come as fast as your LO would like when they are having a growth spurt or just deciding that they'd like more daily milk please. Stick with it, - it won't go on forever. Same to pacita pacita I usually MN when I am pinned to the sofa feeding.

I haven't made it to mother and baby group at health centre yet - need to drive and that's not until next week. i have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about going. What do you do there - just sit with DD and smile or are there things for LOs to do, apart from getting weighed? I feel a bit out of my dpth.
Eandz i feel for you. DP left me a message saying he was getting his hair cut on his way home from work - i thought, lucky bugger!!
I have to say that as long as Charlotte has been fed and changed and is safe in her cot, I will go and have a shower (going to the loo simply can't wait for me, so i have to just go) or put some washing on etc - if she cries, she cries. i know it sounds harsh but she's never left long and as she grows she'll have to learn that mummy needs to do stuff during the day. i will spend time with her but sometimes she has to wait a bit.

Hi everyone,

Welcome to BB - of course you are welcome to join us! You've missed the pregnancy thread but are right at the beginning of the 'new baby' stage!

Things don't seem as hard in the jearund household at the moment. We've got a rhythm going where I express in the morning and DH gives Dougie his first night feed. He's very hungry though - I'm having to express 6oz for him as any less and he is still hungry so I have to feed him after he's finished the bottle! Most nights he's been lasting out from 10ish to about 4 or 5 (so effectively dropping the 1am feed) but it made a reappearance last night. This afternoon he fed constantly for an hour (usually it's 15 mins then he falls asleep and comfort sucks in his sleep) so I suspect it's another growth spurt (1 month tomorrow). We're off up to Scotland on Weds to see the in-laws so will get some help then with DD and baby-sitters on tap!

How long is the lochia supposed to last? I thought mine was going but yesterday it was still there and bright red - is that normal?

Thanks to all for the advice. ninja, I do have a sling, the kari-me, which DS absolutely HATES. I have ordered the tricotti sling form the NCT website, so hopefully that will be more successful when it arrives. Of course, it could also be that I'm doing it all wrong, so I plan to, at some point, maybe go to a sling meeting.

My lochia has come back with a vengeance, and I'm feeling period like cramps. Isn't that a bit weird, or is anyone else having this?

eandz I'm attending my first M&B meeting this Wednesday. I know what you mean!

hi all, I've spent literally all day feeding, poor elli has not slept at all, all day. I'm sure I've got enough milk as when he comes off i can squeeze the npple and milk is still coming. I'm sure this is just a growth spurt or something, but its so tiring, has anyone else had this experence?

barnpot that's exactly what my day has been: baby at nipple or very dissatisfied all day. Had mf visit and my latch is ok. It seems like it is a growth spurt - is 14 days about the right time?

with growth spurts like that when they seem to feed all day, they tend to sleep more the following day. DD was like that yesterday and today she slept a lot, albeit in the sling and is currently conked out.

repeat to yourself. I have lots of milk.

Trust your body and trust your baby. You have nourished that baby for 9 months already, on your own. You can continue to nourish it, solely, for the next 6 or so. At six months you can marvel and say 'I did that!'

No one ever tells you when you are pg that you cannot nourish that baby yourself but so many people tell you that you can't after he pops out.

Thanks foxy. It's so easy to forget that this is what we are designed to do. There is also so much conflicting information coming at us.

My Spanish family is horrified that I'm feeding on demand, and keep telling me that my life won't be worth living with a clingy baby that will want to be in my arms all the time and will never be able to go to sleep alone at all. They are from the 3-4 hour school (and most end up using formula after 2 months). Still, it's the kind of background noise that makes you doubt your instincts, IYSWIM.

thanks foxy I really don't know what i'd do without all you girls on here. elli is echnically 6 weeks old tomorrow, but was 2.5 weeks early. so i've been told to expect him to do what a 3 week old does eventhough he has losts of strength and is already holding his head up to look around, and comically hits his dad when throwing a paddy, ie when i'm in shower and he has to wait 2 minutes to be fed.
I've also been told that although i've not got PND, i'm suffering from PTSD which stands to reason considering the birth we went through. I cant stop thinking about it and the other possible outcomes.
recently i've started blaming myself, for his poor start, and on days like today where he wont settle and keeps crying i'm thinking i'm a bad mother as i cant even settle my boy. I know its the stress finally taking its toll but it doesn't make things easy, and maybe a bit more over protective than what i would have been. maybe i should seek some counciling to put things in perspective, after all i have a beautiful boy who is loved dearly by his famly.
sorry for the long whiney post, must be the lack of sleep.

barnpot some of the tears i am currently shedding is due to the ptsd i had with dd1. i can't go into too much detail but it takes a long time to come to terms. tell yourself it is normal and it is a process.

i'd advise you to request copy of you birth and post natal notes. enquire about a debriefing through maternity liasons if your trust has this service or contact the local nct about a debriefing.

I know what you mean foxy its the reason why i haven't posted my birth story, as its more or a horror story than a joyous event, but i only have myself to blame everyone at our local hospital was fantastic. but its been a noghtmare which we have only just woken up from

Munkimom - we have literally 2 mins ago decided on Linus as Arthur's middle name! It was going to be his first name until he arrived and dp reckoned he looked like more of an Arthur!

mamamufin - thanks for the welcome! I took my time getting over here!

ninja - ditto our school pickup - much mobbing of Arthur, and he yelled because he decided he was hungry, so we dashed home - fortunately we are a 2 minute walk from school.

The feeding is now excruciating with my nipples split and bleeding, but I keep repeating to myself - this will get better, as I know it will

barnpot and foxy - lots of sympathy - even with a straightforward birth I find you obsessively rerun it in your head for weeks, so I can't imagine how hard it must be to get over a trauma. As foxy says - a debrief can be really helpful. I have a friend who did this.

One handed typing is slow work isn't it!!

Good to see everyone finally over here. It's really good for me to read about others experiences as over here in France it is a bit isolating - even among French new mums there doesn't seem to be the same sharing of expreiences I am used to!
Anyway, probably going to regret this but we have just booked the ferry to come over and show Samuel off to all the relatives at half term (end of the month) he will be about 9 weeks by then. Am also thinking I might start giving him the last feed from a bottle instead of BF'ing - although that is going fine & I shall continue with the rest of the feeds from the breast. I used Hipp organic with DS1 from about 3 months (just the last feed again) but they only do the follow up milk over here...rambling a bit there aren't i??? Anyone any thoughts on changing the last feed to formula? (am selfishly thinking maybe he can get through from 11pm to 7am!)

Hi everyone, Got to brag a little... Katie slept between 12.00 and 6.00 last night. 6 whole hours!! Of course I kept waking at the usual times anyway =) I'm hopeful that now that it's happened once it could happen again. Katie has gotten totally dependant on the sling for falling asleep in the day though which while lovely is also a bit of a bother. I dont feel ready to try to get her into her cot and napping on her own yet though.

pidge - how funny! dh at one point, also thought he wanted linus as a 1st name but then changed his mind. (( dh choose the middle name this time...it's part of his techie geek world, that name.)) i think that makes him a little embarrassed, but i've reassured him that its just fine, and a cool name indeedy .

also, sorry to hear about the excruciating bfing experience. i had the same with ds1, bf for 8 months, in the end! i didn't think i'd ever had it in me to continue longer than two weeks with all the toe curling agony in the early moments. but then i met my saviors: Lansinoh and cabbage leaves!!!
i dont think they sped up the achy pain phase, however, it made me forget about it for the moment and sometimes that was enough.

DS continued his feeding marathon yesterday eve then took ages to settle as was exhausted. In the end DH cuddled him to sleep! But he then slept for 5 hours, took the 6oz of EBM and slept for another 5, waking at 8:15!!!

Barnpot I've also had those 'what if' thoughts after DD's birth - I was ill, she was in distress, what if they hadn't been on the ball/ had been overstretched and hadn't done the c-secton so quickly? What if she'd caught my strep b after being in there for so long after my waters broke? But she didn't. I remember your story. Is the apnoeia a thng of the past now? I have no experience of ptsd so forgive me if this sounds trite but can you try to thank God/ your lucky stars/ whatever for the fact that the worst DIDN'T happen and that he is here, safe, and I assume healthy? I felt that DD was somehow protected - she wasn't meant to get Strep B and she didn't. If you can force yourself to focus on being grateful for your healthy baby and enjoy him and try to banish those negative thoughts maybe it will help you to deal with it (I said this would sound trite!). I don't think blaming yourself is helpful either - I don't know what the exact circumstances were around the birth and why you would think it was your fault (which I doubt) but I'm sure you're not doing a worse job than any of the rest of us. These early days are not easy, as I'm sure you can tell from the other posts! Stop beating yourself up! BTW I think Starlight's suggestion of going through your notes is a good one - I went through mine with them from DD's birth before DS's and it helped put a lot of ghosts to rest as I understood why things had happened the way they had.

Barnpot, i can empathise with blaming yourself but, if I remember correctly, you had placental abruption, no? From here, I can't see how you would feel responsible for this occurrence and possibly you can focus on the other side of the coin which is that you and your dp reacted in a v. timely fashion albeit for different reasons which probably meant that you avoided a catastrophic outcome.

It doesn't take away the trauma, I know, but there are more than one point from which to view your circumstance. However, with the raging maternal hormones, and the separation from you in the early days, it feels like a plaster on a gaping wound. It will be a process to overcome these strong emotions. It took me being pg with no2 to seek the 'help' i needed which funnily enough came to the fore only by fighting for a home birth. Before this, I spent 2 of 3 yrs of dd's life trying to block out the experience and put it behind me. (whispers) didn't work.

Hello everyone! I haven't had a chance to come on here and read all your posts and catch up with what you're all doing. Time seems to be whizzing by. I can't belive Sofia is nearly two weeks old already!
She's a very good girl, sleeps a lot in the day. One problem is that she's started to become fussy with her feeds and a bit lazy. She'll latch on for a few seconds and then come off and sort of suck at the tip of my nipple!! Have to coax her to try again. She deosn't feed for very long normally so this is a pain.
Anyway, I hope you're all well and happy. I will try to catch up a little and post again as soon as I can.
x

Barnpot I just want to echo what's been said already - please don't beat yourself up, I think it's not unusual to feel bad after a traumatic birth. There's a good reason why there are 5 years between my daughters, but why this time I already feel broody!

jenpet I'm in the process of expressing like a mad woman a few times a day so i can give DD a bottle at the end of the day. I've been expressing since she was born so I have a bit in the freezer but with a bit of hard work I want to build up enough for a decent feed that will settle her so I can relax and express a bit more. I hope it doesn't all go horribly wrong, I'll let you know!

I am being a slob today, still in my pj's and the kitchen is a bomb site. I can't be arsed to bring the bin back into the garden after the bin men came earlier so all the dirty nappies have been chucked by the back door . DP can sort that out later. My priority is conserving energy to keep me sane and make more milk!

Does anyone else find that they need loads of water if they are bf? I drink pints of it now and hardly ever need to pee, usually my bladder is the size of a thimble .

Exactly the same with the water meglet cannot believe how much I am drinking every day, and how little I am weeing!! (esp compared to when I was Pregnant too!)

Barnpot, you're not to blame but I understand why you feel the way you do. I had placental abruption with both my babies and although they came through it fine, particularly dd2, I still think about how my body must be doing something wrong. I hope you can work through it and feel better about what happened soon.

barnpot I didn't have a very traumatic birth but I did (still do a bit) feel like a failure as the birth went out of my control after 9 hours of early labour and I had a c-section, so i understand a bit of what you're going through. it's easy to say don't blame yourself but I know very hard to truly believe that - give yourself time to heal. DD is now 4 weeks and I am still going through the birth in my head and I think it'll be a while yet before I can lay it to rest. i think I'll get there in a few more weeks but not just yet. I am going to request my notes and maybe talk to someone (or have you got a really close female friend to talk to?).

I'm looking at it a bit like I am taking these first few weeks with Charlotte - I'm not rushing to do housework etc, just bonding with her and recovering from the section. Other things can wait until she's around 8 weeks old and I can start to do more. same with the birth - I'm not feeling guilty for taking quite some time to come to terms with it. Sorry for long, rambling post! Just trying to say, be kind to yourself and expect it to take time to heal.HTH

None of us should blame ourselves for how our respective labours went, there are some things in life that are out of our hands and I would say that labour is definitely one of them. We have all come through what I would describe as the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and we've all come through it with flying colours, no one should be feeling down over things we can not control.