Sept 08 - newborns, milk, nappies and all the rest ....

[Sassafrass]

Hope noone minds me starting our post natal thread now that the babies are arriving so quickly.

Arrivals!
28-May - Johnworf ? Katherine, 1lb 8oz
30-June ? KashaSarrasin ? Felix, 1.39kg
26-July - Jenbot - DD, 3lb 6oz
11-Aug - Crabby - Lilah 2.34kg
13-Aug - Sassafrass - Katie Rose, 7lb 2oz
20-Aug - Sunshinemummy - Effy Marilyn, 6lb 3oz
22-Aug - Talia1 - Anna, 6lb 2oz
26-Aug - Jenpet - Samuel, 3.166 kilos (about 6lb10oz?)
28-Aug - Potxola - Lorea, 7lb 6oz
31-Aug - Digitalgirl - Alfredo, 7lbs
1-Sept - Debithescot - Andrew, 8lb 10oz

Thank you very much for your messages of support...just realised though that some of might think I am implying that ff mothers have failed in some way...I did not mean that!!! So I am sorry if I have offended anyone...its just how I feel at the moment - hopefully it will pass.

Part of the problem is that with my ds1 I had no milk therefore it was a bit of a non starter - this time I have milk....ds2 just doesnt seem to want it/there isnt enough for him. I am making a considered decision not to bf IYSWIM??? I am finding it very upsetting.

It was very strange the day of Tobys birth knowing my poor cousin had just lost her eldest son...he was only 27. Brain hemorrage. Then of course I couldnt go to the funeral (it was in Ireland) and I feel awful about that.

I have so missed "talking" to you all - its been a rough couple of weeks. Cant beleve we all have our babies now...arent we clever?

i agree, every baby develops their own sleeping positions over time and really who stands over the cot to put them on the back at each turn? ds2 is only 10 days old will sleep in his side and his back.

today, ive been an emotional nightmare! dh, at one point, stood at the stairs waiting for me to make a drink and head to bed for a nap/mommy time while both boys were sleeping. he knows full well that i wouldve just kept on saying "ok, just need to finish this one thing..." and of course, the chance to rest wouldve passed me by.

ahhh ...i so needed the rest.
i felt so much better after that. ...until i had a shower. and became upset/distressed to see all the heavy bleeding ((TMI!!)) coming out as i got undressed to bathe. and then i found a small lump in my armpit.
i'm terrified ((as one would be)). i'm trying to convince myself that it could very well be just a swelling of an oddly placed milk duct? or lymph node or something that will pass? :::::sigh:::::
i have a MW visiting on monday and meeting the new HV on the wednesday. will make sure to mention it to them , even though i suspect they will tell me to see the GP instead. is probably nothing .....

eandz i would've said "istanbul" instead of dubai. hehehe shame that you had to sack her though. will you be hiring a replacement?

munkimom
i'm not sure if i can really take advantage of mils generosity and replace the cleaner since mil was the one who sent over this lady. i think we might just have to suck it all up and try to clean after ourselves. Then when mil comes for her next visit/health inspection she'll just offer another cleaner on her own.

oh how i LOVE Istanbul! but Dubai is true so as long as it wasn't a complete lie (cleaning lady also cleans mils house so will mention it to her).

don't stress over the lump just yet. It's cold season and everyone is getting a really bad one. There are lymph nodes in your armpits, so the lump is probably just a lymph node cleaning out your blood super efficiently.

becaroo you didn't offend me in the slightest. i really know what you mean as I have milk and when Charlotte did latch (rarely) it never hurt and pumping doesn't either - so v frustrating that she just wasn't interested at all. But she is so so so much happier on ff and is now in bed, I'm having a cosmopolitan (first one since 31 Dec) and DP and I are watching x factor - bliss!

Charlote also sleeps on her side and makes loads of chuntering/snuffling noises when she sleeps so i suspect she'll be in her own room before xmas.

And having had sex with DP today, my bleeding has come back with a vengence. DP must be chuffed - he probably thinks it's his enormous pride and joy, LOL (I wish)

The main thing to remember, everyone, is we have had new little people!!!! we gave birth and did something that 50% of humans cannot do. We are fab (bit worried about Hopefuly though - no news?)

notcitrus you make very good points. It's impossible hard dealing with the seemingly competing recommendations. You need to do what you need to do to get through these tough weeks.

What I do know is that IF you can get through them bfing then you'll reap the rewards later. Bfing overtakes ffing in the easy-life rewards about just after 12 weeks and lasts for as long as you are prepared to do it, becoming not just a food-source but a solution to a great many other problems/issues!

(By the way, - you all need to know that DS1 was on formula at 5 days -although I managed to get back on track with bfing- and in his own room by 6 weeks as I couldn't handle the noise of him being with us. I also probably had PND, was ill from undiagnosed PPH - don't ask - BUT I didn't know half of what I do now, - AND I'm much better prepared this time and my expectations have been more realistic. For NOW, I think I am managing, but I DO remember how hard it is, particularly with your first)

becaroo

'I am making a considered decision not to bf IYSWIM??? I am finding it very upsetting.'

Does this mean your decision is final, or that you'd like help if still possible?

'ds2 just doesnt seem to want it/there isnt enough for him.'

This is a very common perception of people who have had bad support but then go on to bf sucessfully.

I won't mention it again unless you ask, but the 'upsetting' comment makes me feel that perhaps you could benefit from talking to a bfc if just to discuss your feelings (not necessarily start up bfing again) and they can be helpful in this respect too.

Reasons To Be Proud for those who are struggling and maybe wondering what is the point.

All of us have done a marvellous job at being a mummy whatever our feeding method.

Breastfeeding in the early days is relentless hard work, esp. when you have nothing to compare it to and no experience among family and friends to let you know what is normal for a breastfed baby and a breastfeeding new mother.

Please go to a breastfeeding support group in your area. Surestart tend to have one, some hospitals do as well. Also search babycafe in your area and bumps and babies by post code. Here is another set of listings on the ABM site.

What Moonlight has said is true. It will be so much simpler by 12 wks and alot of us find it easier well before then. I second her recommendation to speak to a BFC about your mixed emotions, becaroo. BFCs are not there to change your mind. They will be a sounding board to help you think straight about what you have in mind plus give you unbiased information with which to help you make up your mind. They can also give you information to provide a reference point of what is normal for bfing, tailored to your own experience. something that is difficult to do on a message board.

Can I add that between 10 pm and 6am, all bfing problems seem much more grim. I do remember bawling my eyes out on the stairs at 4 am in with dd1. In the daytime, you can overcome.

Do accept/ask for help with practical tasks from anyone who is willing to be there for you. Do be easy on yourself and don't judge yourself harshly.

Do try a helpline again. Most BFC are also mums of young children so they do school runs, go to clinics and attend bf support groups. Don't feel knocked back if at first you don't find someone.

I am going likely to be really scarce in the next few weeks as DD1 is in her cast, DD2 needs my attention and DH is currently abroad with work. I don't have family nearby and my friends are mostly through work. I am worried that I will start to go stir crazy myself. I've been tearful since Wednesday about DH going away so I have little inclination and time to post.

Thank goodness my SPD seems to be improving as lugging around a big toddler with a cast was fixing to become a complete nightmare. Poor thing. she fell out of bed about 9pm and brought back all her insecurities and cried off and on in her sleep for an hour.

lump under armpit - yes it is milk glands and ducts etc. we make milk all the way under there. geeky trivia: evolutionarily speaking, milk glands are highly specialised sweat glands. they think before nipples evolved prehistoric mammals 'sweated out' milk and the babies lapped it. Platypus produce milk like this.

eandz & foxy thanks for the words re: the lump. will ask the midwife tomorrow.

the baby tends to sleep in most mornings ((daddy is the lucky one that gets the lay in as well )) while i get up with ds1. i'm thinking i should get a couple mornings of a lay in before he goes back to work...its just something else i should've mentioned before today, as i am reallly feeling the need for more rest.

also, i finally got a good look at my "battle wound" last night. ((took a bit of lifting the other wobbly bits of the belly )) but i managed. i have been properly butchered!! ok so it was funny at the time of theatre when the surgeon joked about it being "conveyor-belt c-sections" and i'm starting to see ((and feel)) the results of the super quick job! while they were delivering mine, another gal was in the next room having her spinal...they wheeled me out and wheeled her in, before i was wheeled to recovery, i could hear her baby being born as well!

anyways, the MW's have mentioned that the left side (the side that stings the most) wasn't properly stapled together by the looks of it, and its the slowest to heal of course. still a bit open. anyways, its a good thing the incision is in a place only 1 other will see!

righty, i should do a bit of tidying...having a visitor or 2 over this afternoon.

hope you all have fab sunday!
lots of cuddles to the LO's!!

leonieD was it sore? ((i'm feeling no tender/soreness at all when i press it/around it))

imoscarsmum I'm going to the Manchester Meet up - please go...

Whoever asked about crying in the night - both my DD's have.

Maebh has a lot of wind and cries squirms, pumps, sleeps for about a minute and then the cycle goes on - is this normal. She seems to sleep but I don't!! I end up half the night rubbing her back or rtying to wind her. I think it might be because I have fast flow breasts and she pulls off gulping and covered in milk and I can hear that she's swallowed a lot of milk. What can I do - expreeing first isn't really practical in the middle of the night - any advice??

Munkimum - go and see the GP if you're not reassured, I had a lump and like 99% of them it turned out to be nothing, but they'll take you seriously and put your mind to rest.

foxy are there some Mum and Baby or Mum and Toddler groups you can go to while your DH is away? Just having one thing a day helps doesn't it>?

Hello moonlight and foxy...thing is I am not sure how long my milk is going to hang around for IYKWIM? Also, tried Toby on the breast last night as he was inconsolable and he wouldnt even latch on - actually screwed his face up in disgust

Was thinkning of mixed feeding at one point -not sure how this works and not sure it would work for me but is this something any of you have experience of??

Thanks for all your comments - I do appreciate it x

I have now not been bf for a week - does that mean my milk has gone or not good qualtiy any more? Is there any way to go from ff to bf successfully?

Feel such a failure Why doesnt he want my milk? He is so much happier on formula....

becaroo I would have left this for Foxy to answer because I am much less qualified, but since she may not be around much I would recommend these things:

Contact one of the organisations here or lots of them. Toby may need to relearn how to bf, as the tecnique used for a bottle is very very different. This is partly why mixed-feeding is risky (bottle-feeding encourages sloppy breast attachment too), but with individual support this MAY be possible.

Start a thread in the bottle-feeding topic - something like 'ff newborn - is it too late to bf?' and explain your circumstances. You can get invaluable help and support there particularly from tiktok an NCT bfc who is also a specialist in feeding in general. I can say with 99.9% certainty that the people there will support you even if you decide to continue fully ffing.

The very least these two actions should do, is give you the information to explain what went wrong and why, and the level of effort that may be required to go back. You can then make a fully informed decision about where to go next and hopefully not be upset about whatever decision you make.

Hope that helps!

becaroo Your milk has not gone and it is of exceptional quality

Yes ff to bf is possible (adoptive parents can bf successfully - although that IS hard work). The sooner you make a start though the easier it will be, as your hormones are still hanging around from the birth and they will help loads!

Munkimom, it sounds really bad, that they didn't take the time to do a really careful job. Do you know how long it took them after the baby was born? After Katie was born they took about 40 minutes to sew me back up again and I have healed like a dream this time with minimum pain.

To everyone struggling with feeding, remember that how you feed your baby doesn't determine how good a mother you are. We are all doing our best.

Katie had her first immunisations this week and was a nightmare afterwards so got her first dose of calpol!

Hi girls. I am very bust with my children. And I miss having the time to sit in front o the computer and read about your experiences.
I am still sane, I think, despite the colic and sleepless nights. 2 months to go.. They say it stops at 3 months!BF is going great and se loves it.
She is now asleep on my shoulder. Her skin is dark, has an oval face, has thick dark hair and round blue eyes that will become as green as her brothers. I love her.
Have a nice week!

im finding that my dd2 is drinking my breastmilk better than the formula as she takes about an hour to finish off a 5oz of formula but she takes about half an hour to drink my breastmilk as prob its more sweeter and taste nicer!.

Hi all- sorry I havent had much time to pop on but life has been manic with the 3 children and have had family staying, anyway things are now starting to calm down. Hope u are all doing well and enjoying ur little ones. Oliver is a dream he wakes once and has done that since we brought him home, he sleeps all day and is fab but I am waiting for all this to change just enjoying every day that he is so content.

Hi, just wanted to say thanks for your advice guys
George has been a little off all weekend, I'm now wondering if it was a tummy bug he has rather than colic, he has been quite sick a couple of times and done some quite watery poo.

I am keeping an eye on it and if I'm still not happy tommorrow I will see GP.

Thanks again. x

Becaroo i went from bottle to breast the only problem was ds2 never latched on from birth so i was only expressing my milk supply wasnt great and ds2 would be on the breast for 2 hours and would still drink 4 oz from a bottle. I would still be bf now but after 2 lots of mastitus i couldnt take anymore pain and have decided just to ff, i have 2 other young dcs so it was really hard work.

Very, very quick hello from me, for the first time with baby Arthur on the postnatal thread. He took his time, but he is utterly wonderful and I am overjoyed with my 2 girls and a boy.

His birth story is on the old thread, apologies it is rather long!

I'm off to help with supper for the two big sisters ...

Congratulations again Pidge your story had me in tears - even more so because it's the last one of ours that I'll read. Well Done and good to see you here. Gazing into a new born's eyes is amazing isn't it?

Potxola what lovely post!