'January 08 shiny new - year babies , Keep rolling , rolling , rolling !'

[lilyloo]

hope everyone finds it

Lucky - sorry you are feeling not yourself

Definitely think Madmouse is talking sense. You need to talk to someone in RL

When DS was born I did not bond with him straight away, it took a good 6 weeks. But I did not stress about it i knew it would come eventually.

Re the breast feeding - don't feel guilty you, gave DD the best start. I can relate to problems regarding BF I have a real fear of doing it myself hence both DCs ff. I take my hat off to anyone who does it even for a week as I know I couldn't.

PND doesn't mean you haven't bonded with DD so it might be worth talking to HV (although I remember you saying yours were pants) so maybe doc.

Is there a park near you with swings for DD? Could you walk there play with her and come back?

Don't think we don't want to hear your problems, that is what we are here for Rant away!!!

no - nearest park is a good 15/20 min drive. All I got is houses and more houses round me.

HV that did Aaliyah's 8 mo check did a PND test and I passed apparently.

Can you go swimming with DD? Or have you got a library that does baby/toddler reading sessions??

I feel bad because when DS was this age I did loads with him, with DD I do nothing

Am going to go to a baby & toddler group next week with her when DS is in pre school, am really looking forward to it!!

HV are crap sometimes... might be worth going to GP...

I'm thinking of going GP about the pill so might mention it while I'm there if I go.

Can go swimming but its nearly £4 to go - a figure we can't afford regualarly.
Library - I tried to register the other day but they have to have something with your name and address on which I didn't have on me at the time. (Am putting DL in my purse from now on)
Babyclub - we go every tues but I think thats more for DD than me. She's such an outgoing friendly little child.

We're going out tomorrow with a friend who is down for a week from Uni so maybe that'll make tomorrow easier and i'm just gonna have to stay on one day at a time.

I would definitely go to GP and have a chat and see what he/she says.

Am going to bed now, let me know how you are doing tomorrow.

Lilyloo - mine's not sleeping great either - we have been back to waking every 4 hours for the last few days (ie twice in the night) - before we went on hols she was relatively speaking sleeping through - 9pm until 5.30, quick feed, sleep until 7.30. Last few nights she's woken at 12.30 and 5am - hope it's just teething that's waking her.

Bluebell - congratulations!

LuckySalem - do let it all out on here - we are all at the same stage! Sometimes people forget what it's like with a young child and the fact that it is SO time-consuming so you do feel like "just a mum" (and you do also get people on MN who get very vocal about WOHM/SAHM but just ignore them!). You sound pretty organised, doesn't sound like a dump - when I feel like everything is piling on top of me I try to do one small thing, it can be as stupid as having one tidy drawer, that I look at and it makes me smile as it feels organised, something I'm in control of? Not sure if that maes much sense, but sometimes you need to feel like you have achieved something to feel in control.

Certainly don't feel guilty about the feeding - however long you feed it'll still feel wrong when you stop I think! I was feeling so proud to get this far before thinking of stopping then I saw that Kate Garraway prog the other day and am feeling bad if I don't go the full year! DD1 was formula fed - I tried to feed her but inexperience, inattentive midwives and the fact she was in SCBU for 3 weeks meant I never really got started. DD2 was a bit more successfull but by a couple of months she was having at least one bottle a day and by 5 months she was on formula. Both are thriving, healthy girls, no less affectionate for it. Also with DD1 I was not particularly attached to her in the early days - I cared for her, but she didn't feel "mine" IYSWIM? But we have a great relationship now, so it all works out in the end.

Sure there was more I was going to say but it ecapes me now.

Goodnight all!

firstly ds2 not sleeping as well as he used too either (and he didn't even sleep that well anyway!) was up, i fed him, he chattered for a bit then screamed for ages, got dh to give him some calpol in case, then dh cuddled him and he did a huge burp and fart (ds this is not dh !) and went to sleep.
think it was 12.30-2ish.

so maybe lots of them are going through something developmental? he used to drop off no probs after a feed, now he chats for ages while i lie in bed listening and willing him to shut up !

simpson - glad you have cleared the air, sometimes things build up and feel un-deal-able with, and a good row/cry can put things in perspective, ie is separation really the solution and once it's mentioned you both realise you really don't want that. i hope so anyway.

lucky - there are a few different issues there. i do think you ought to try to retake the pnd test - not that suddenly 'having pnd' will solve everthing but it could help you realise why things are getting you down iykwim?
glad dp has realised he can't always have silence with a young one around (and tbh it will only get worse, can you imagine a child (or 2) coming in from school and quietly spending a few hours before bedtime ???) i think a long hard look at his job/long term plans is in order there...
when ds1 arrived i had no bonding probs at all straight away had that rush of love and omg he's mine feelings. with ds2 i totally didn't and freaked dh out by not really wanting to hold him, look at him, name him, etc. the 'trauma' (i know others have had it worse) of his birth threw me for quite a bit but i had the knowledge of how i should feel which was both good and bad. and it came, but it meant i could bf through that bad time (plus i had bf before so knew what i was doing and didn't need mws manhandling my boobs, etc!).
you had a v difficult time in labour and mustn't underestimate that. the bf issue you have to put behind you and realise you did the best for dd at the time, and you still are!

take this test and be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself, no one else needs to see your answers, but i you find you do score highly, go back to your gp and ask for help/support. your hvs are crap so ignore them
and ignore people on here who make you feel bad, that's not what this site is for!

try the buses?? if dd is like my boys, she'll love travelling on them, chatting to everyone and watching the world go by, and seeing you instead of the back of the car! cheaper too. and it could make you go to places you might not have thought of.

re cliquey babygroups - been there try and keep an eye out for a newbie at the group and make a special effort to talk to her? after all you HAVE got stuff in common, kids! just ask simple questions about baby's age, sleeping, eating habits, etc. and before you know it you are chatting! worked for me

um, re next child, file that worry for now, they can still be close siblings with a much bigger gap.

re work - well maybe if dp would reconsider his job, that could work out for you too?

oh and lists! have a 'master list' of all jobs to do, then hide it
then have a mini list of achievable tasks for that day - ie one drawer as Housemum said, one load of washing, etc. and take great pleasure in crossing EVERYTHING off a list, woohoo
every now and then check the master list and find you can cross off the odd thing.

hope this all helps...

no matter how annoying it is we all have to remember men can't mind read (tho we can of course, like knowing those clothes on the floor need washing, lol!)

right, far too long sorry!

ARGH!!!!!!!!

dh just done his back in picking up the paper

so now he gets to lie in bed with said papers while i change nappies/do laundry/entertain toddler/get baby to bed for nap/NOT ring hairdressers for appt this morning as he can't be left i/c 2 kids and no walking ability

had this a few months ago and i ended up being such a jealous cow/bad nurse/etc.....

he has taken tablets but guess planned trip to tip to empty my car of crap (and multiple spiders that were living in the crap, and who have now made spider webs INSIDE the car, eek) is off..............

argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh

and of course when he needs to go to work tomorrow he'll be fine i'm sure....

Lucky, I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I agree with others who have told you to rant away and get it all off your chest on this thread. I find Mumsnet 'people' in general incredibly judgemental, so avoid asking for advice on other threads. All that happens on those ones are that you get some self righteous smug idiot come on 'holier than thou' and make you feel worse. In reality, I'm sure those that do that are pretty crap at what they do anyway!
This thread is much nicer and although I don't post much or know any of you very well, you have built up a good friendship with people here who genuinely want to help and advise you.
I am lucky in that Toby is a very laid back little boy, but even so, there are some days where I could scream with frustration because I never seem to get any 'me' time. And DH does a bit but the bulk of the baby stuff is done by me. Toby will sleep some nights fantastically and others will be whinging on and off throughout the night. What I would give for an uninterrupted night's sleep and to wake up naturally when I am good and ready to......
Post here as often as you need to. I think we all feel better having ranted about things. Getting it off your chest often makes things appear better. I am fed up at the moment of feeling so fat. I lost a lot of weight before falling pregnant, and I am now the weight I was before i lost it all. I keep trying to motivate myself to diet, but feeling knackered and busy all day long often makes me just snack on rubbish. After my hols end of the month I really plan to have some self discipline!
Simpson, hope things have improved with DH.

Hello to everyone else.

Forgot to add. JKS, you have my sympathy. I am rubbish when DH is ill. I have no time or patience for it. They always act so pathetic and whiny. Oh I am so evil. Hehe.

Madmouse ? don?t worry about Nathan using his head to push up, T does this too and I sometimes see her on her tippy toes with her bum in the air and her head pushing on the mat. I think it takes them a while to figure out how to move both arms and legs together. Well done to your DH on his sermon
LaT ? How?s Sabela after that scary temp? Teething is SUCH a nightmare for all. We?ve been thinking of trying for No2 when Tana?s a year old, but I really don?t know how we?ll manage either...obviously we will as people do, but how?
Rockdoctor ? I try not to let T eat printed paper, but sometimes when I try and get it away from her the cheeky minx tries to hurry up and take a big gummy bite and swallow. She has gagged up a bit of paper when I was too slow with my reflexes
Simpson ? I think 7-9 months is meant to be when babies discover the idea of strangers, so the clinginess means she?s learning who her family is , quite cute when I think of it this way. Hope things are better with DH, sometimes you do just need some couple time. I find things between DH and I rapidly go downhill if T not sleeping well, I guess little things seem huge to me when I?m tired.
MrsMcJ ? Oh God, cannot CANNOT believe they?re harassing you about another one already! Anyway, they?re all men so clearly haven?t the faintest idea what childbirth is like. Thanks for the sympathy, I really needed it!
Bluebell ? Big congratulations on your BFP!
Lilyloo ? hope the coldiness in your house is passing. T has her first cold atm, and poor thing seemed so bothered this weekend. Thankfully, DH was home and between the two of us, we managed. Am in awe of you with three dcs on your own this week .
Gingeme ? arrgh, so annoying about the ?open up its urgent?, and wrong door . Did such a ?fishwife? type thing the other day, someone rang the doorbell when I was changing dd, and I just opened her window (above front door) and yelled ?who is it?, and it was some salesman, so I said ?Just drop it through the door, I?m in the middle of a baby change!?, and he went away without leaving any info ? great! Now I know how to get rid of them!
JKS ? on your lunch out, glad you enjoyed it though. LOL, clearly men missed out on the mind reading thing with the Y chromosome. Sorry about DHs back!! I dread my DH getting ill because he is such a ?baby-- bad patient, and I get really jealous and cranky after a while. And am soooo freaked out about the spiders in your car, you have my sympathies.
Housemum ? welcome back!
Lucky ? about having another baby and ?ruining? another one, you HAVEN?T ruined your DD. You have a little girl who?s healthy, and smiley and gorgeous and that?s because you?re a wonderful mum who loves her. Its fine to want something ?for yourself?, so don?t feel guilty at all, just remember that if you?re happy, your baby will be too. As gingeme said earlier, children really do pick up on their parents? moods. JKS solution about the buses is really good ? I take the bus everywhere (still not passed my driving test ) and it means we get some fresh air and do a little walking too. Cliquey baby groups can be hard, but def go to one of the library sessions (you don?t have to be a member of the library AFAIK) ? can be a smaller group and less intimidating.
Betterhalf - am with you on the weight loss thing. It its any consolation, I read about a study that said postnatal weight loss was direclty correlated to sleep, ie. its almost impossible to lose weight when you're perpetually tired.
Was quite worried this weekend, as T had a terrible cold and only managed to drink 2-3oz on Sat and same on Sun, didn?t want the boob either when I offered, but she had a good 5oz from her bottle this morning, so fingers crossed.

Afternoon ladies.
A breakthrough last night. George slept till 5.10 only had about 4 oz of his bottle then straight back to sleep till 7.30 More sleep so why do I still feel so bloody tired?

ginge it is because your body goes 'hah cool, we will have some more of that please '

betterhalf with you on the weight issue. soooo fat and too tired to stay off chocolate.

housemum was it you asking about baby with small appetite? Nathan does not eat huge amounts but will eat three times a day. some tips:
*give her her own spoon so she can help you eat
*scatter titbits to finger feed on tray or mess mat. although if like nathan she will use rice cakes as hockey pucks
*if finished eating one thing try another,ie when finished with pasta offer something fruity. hipp makes some great fruit desserts in jars, they are quite calorific. different taste makes you eat again, that is why we all like pudding.
*offer different tastes and textures, ie I put weetabix/milk and apple puree next to each other in the bowl, so he gets bits of each but not as a homogenous mix. keeps it interesting.

and she is a good weight isn't she, so just relax.

lucky keep on offloading. I take Nathan swimming every week and your pool seems very expensive. we have something called passport to leisure that cost £5 to buy, but gives a good discount everytime you go. most councils have something similar, check council website.

jks tell him he cannot have dinner/snack/beer because of his tablets/reclined position, also (and this bit is true) that walking around and sitting is a lot better for sore back than lying down!

have had first counselling session and it is good to talk about things. Nathan had a ball, he was the only child in the children's centre this morning and had so much attention from staff that he only started crying when he saw me .

waking twice a night here too. please woke at 6 and only went back to sleep with me in the big bed at 6.45 until 8 (he was the only one not waking from alarm at 7.30

who have I forgotten? sorry

love all

sorry Fragolina, hi did not want to ignore you.

Fragolina - that's a very interesting fact about weight loss. I though it was just that I couldn't get upo enough energy to exercise!

MM- typical that it was a morning when you had to get up that Nathan sleeps! Glad the counselling was useful. Is it going to be a regular thing?

Betterhalf - Just to add to what Fragolina said about the weight - are you still bf? I cna't remember. My GP said that hormonally it's very difficult to lose weight while still bf.

JKS - how incredibly annoying! Apparently, as someone else said, mobility is the best thing for a bad back.

Lucky - I won;t repeat what others have said more eloquently than I can with a teething baby squawking behind me but I did look up the times of buses to Wrexham so we could have a girly dya. IT's a bit more than I can manage though - 3 hours on a coach there and back. Would have been good though!

Glad you're getting more sleep Gingeme.

Sabela absolutely crazed by teething, apparently. Her temperature keeps spiking and she's playing MANICALLY trying to distract herself. IT's a bit disturbing but better than crying I guess. No new teeth have appeared yet. I can't imagine how long this can go on for.

Sorry for anyone I've missed out. Sabela's squawking madly and I must go.

Thanks all... I took the test and scored a 12 this week. I scored a 10 when the HV took it (apparently) I don't want pills or anything so am not going to the docs but may take it again in a week or so if i'm not feeling any better.

In the meantime - getting out really is a saviour. DD loved the afternoon with my friend and her boyfriend at wetherspoons. She has been horrid when we got in cos she was SOO tired but the day itself has been lovely.

Swimming - they do a thing where you pay £15 a month and can swim as much as you want but I can't afford a commitment like that.
Library - I was gonna register today but DD was tired so we came home, its an excuse to go out another day to do it. Tomorrow, we're going laundrette (stupid washing machine), Babyclub then mum's so busy tomorrow.

LaTrucha
I'm not bfeeding any more, and had hoped the weight would drop off but that's not the case. Not sure if it's got anything to do with it or not, but weight gain started when I had the contraceptive implant put in, but maybe I'm just looking for an excuse. Eating choccies and having the odd glass or 2 of vino is not going to help with weight loss I fear.

Glad you had a decent day Lucky.

Ok everyone, let's have a good old sob

And I want to know yours too....

DD1 would be Simply Red "Your Babies" as it was always on the radio in SCBU when she was born

DD2 is Dido "Thank You" (think that's what it's called?) as I used to put that on CD player in her room for night feeds.

DD3 - you expect me to remember???!!! Probably the theme tune from Corrie as sit and watch off planner when feeding...

... let's just hope no=one's is "Torn" by natalie imbruglaia!

I spose mine would be the winnie the pooh theme tune as that's what's on her nightlight thingie.

this

lol housemum! ouch!

well i put together a collection of lovely 'soft' songs to listen to when pg with ds1,but someone at an antenatal group mentioned their LO loved Monster (dunno who by, "what's that coming over the hill, is it a monster...".) so that's what i would think of now

I posted my sob story LT, it is Gift to me by Martyn Jospeh, the whole thing is a bit long so wont copy it here.

Evening all too exhausted to catch up. DD is not sleeping at all and dd1 has been a little horror today and has driven me to the brink.
Typical when dp away feel like having a good cry am so tired and it's just too much when dd is ill and i am doing school run / pre school football training and everything else.
Sorry to moan