June 2008 - The Olympics are here and Mums deserve gold medals

[ThePenguinProject]

Thought I'd start a new thread before we ran out of space! Couldn't remember the exact name suggestion so have paraphrased, the sentiment is still the same though...

poppy - will forward sis the Zita West info and Debs, she can't seem to get past 9 weeks. She has got something I can't remember the name of bi something or other which means she has a heart shaped uterus which I guess doesn't help. Thamks for the kind words all - I will pass them on. x

Also I wanted to tell you all about reading of Mrs Beeton (1861). Does anyone else have a copy? It's fascinating on the subject of breastfeeding.

She has quite a lot of information about foods to eat and not eat. Cucumbers and gruel are apparently no-nos, while she recommends that a nursing mother drinks a minimum of two and a half pints of porter or stout!

Essie, was it you who was considering an alternative career as a wet nurse?! I didn't realise that wet nurses were still so common in Victoria England. Mrs B is very fierce on the subject of chastising your wet nurse for eating cucumbers, pickles and 'other dainties', so you better watch out!

Amber, sorry about your sister. The three-strike rule is so cruel. I know that Mumsnet is talking to the Department of Health about changing the rules for managing miscarriages, but that won't really help her.

Morning all,

Need a quick rant

Neighbours must be away this weekend as we were woken up at about 2.30 by screaming, swearing kids in the street. Smashing glass, racist abuse that kind of thing which went on for about 30 mins before DH went and called the police. Turned out the police had 4 other calls but decided it wasn't worth it for 'kids'. As DH was on the phone the other neighbours who are polish went out to ask them to be quiet and DH (who was spying from upstairs) saw the kids throw bottles at them and hurl even more abuse at them. DH then told the police that he was scared for his wife and child and would they please come and sort it out. Finally at 3.30 the police turned up and dispersed the crowd. If the police had come the first time it may have meant a proper nights sleep. Luckily I haven't moved Isaac into his room yet as it is at the front of the house so would have been even worse as he would prob have been woken up.
Hope everyone is doing ok, When i start to feel down I make a list of all the positive things/get out of the house and go for a coffee. It really does help and I have loads of strategies/books for coping with this kind of thing because of my depression background.
The rain has already started here, after the georgousness that was yesterday, I do hope we get an Indian summer. I have lots to do in the garden and must go and buy a lawn mower today as the grass is knee high already

Good morning

Havent been posting lately, but have been reading all the posts.

Having a hard time at the moment and struggling as to knowing what to do. Fleur is really difficult during day with BF, she doesnt latch on screams at breast after only 30secs and when she does eat she demands more an 1hr later, i know that when she has finished eating im leaving her hungry as she isnt latching well.
At night she is fine.

Thinking about throwing in the towel now and just FF during day as that is what ill have to do sometime in Oct as i go back to work only 16 weeks maternity leave over here. I will be away from 8am to 4pm so no way i can express enough I hoped she would still feed from me when i got home but i dont know now after this.

Oh well sorry just had to get that off my chest! I think i will perserve but this sooo hard when she is screaming at you, she fed so well and had such a good feeding routine of every 3 hrs, La Leche league councellor thinks its a nursing strike and has given tips which are kind of working.

Seems like wwe are all going through a 3 mths kind of thing!

Cant respond to everyone but best wishes to those struggling and a wave to everyone else.

UDC- just wantted to say i have a mrs beeton too my grandma bought it for me! Also am reading at mo a book someone recommended on here when we were pregnant, think it was libralady? Can any mother help me? Also about childrearing etc in the war times fascinating book

Hello everyone, we've had a good week away at my mum's, but I've missed you all!

Glasgow ladies, are we still on for this Friday at 1pm at Ben&Jerry's next to JL? I've never parked in Buchanan Galleries before, is there any parent and child parking, and are there plenty of spaces - do any of you know?

Sorry to hear some of you are feeling down - I totally agree with the boredom thing, DP is off for a couple of weeks, am already dreading him going back to work. Our flat really gets me down - we are top floor, so 3 big flights of stairs - I wish I could just wheel the pushchair out of the door, instead I have a whole palaver of getting me and B downstairs and then pushchair out of the car and putting it together. In the grand scheme of things, I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I feel it's such an effort to get out, sometimes I just can't be arsed...

Anyway, we have bigger issues about the flat - I am desperate to move, but DP is still tied up in old house with his ex who is of course happily living there with their two kids... Can't help being p'd off when they talk about their garden, big bedrooms and playroom when B doesn't even have his own bedroom...

Anyway, sorry about that whinge, I was going to tell you all about our time away. Laura, I thought about a non religious naming ceremony thing, but in the end, we had afternoon tea for friends at family here which was lovely. DP and me stayed there in the evening, totally fab - the staff are so nice, one guy on reception even offered to take B for a walk so we could get our breakfast in peace. Oh, and the cakes for afternoon tea were delicious!

Deb, saw your post about being a bf beacon - well, we went to Whitby when we were away. I fed B in the car park, didn't think anyone could see as we were at the edge... oh, only facing the railway line, as I realised as all the daytrippers on the North Yorks Moors steam train came past v slowly... And then I was putting B back in his carseat, and only realised that I was still 'hanging out.' I'll get the hang of this feeding in public thing eventually....

B was great sleeping in different places - we had a pop up travel crib at my mum's and put him in a travel cot at the hotel and he was fine both times. Agree with whoever said about toys, I made sure he had his giraffe blankie thing.

Does anyone know how to work out how long LOs should be able to go between feeds? 4 hours seems the max here, which isn't so bad during the day, but I wish he would go longer at night. He's 8 weeks tomorrow, and is heading for 12lb.

Hope you're all having a good weekend.

Laura, we're having a naming ceremony for Alex in the Spring. Here are some suggestions for readings:

readings

If you google it you'll get loads of suggestions and the British Humanist Association has a book on it, it's only about £3 I think.

Amber, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I also had 2 m/cs before Alex. I cried and begged for tests after my 2nd one, but the 3 m/c rule is strictly enforced (the NHS wouldn't even give me any extra monitoring during my 3rd pg despite my history ). I was told this is because many women have 2 m/cs and then go onto have a healthy baby. This was of no comfort to me at all at the time, but of course in my case it was true. I so hope that this is the case for your sister too.

Amber, I think it's a bi-cornuate uterus. I have one too. It means your uterus is heart shaped and can cause problems as the baby grows. As far as I'm aware it shouldn't cause early m/c because the baby would be too small, it's only in later pg it can be a problem because the baby has less room to move around in and can become breech or transverse. At least this is what I was told by my consultant who performed by lap and dye and hysteroscopy. Mine didn't cause any problems in the end.

I had an awful evening yesterday.

DS was screaming and had a bout of diarrhoea, as he was so distressed I decided to give him some calpol using a syeringe. I put 1ml in his mouth and it was fine, next go I put in 2 mls and must have put it too far in as he choked. He was still trying to scream but no noise was comming out and he started to go blue. I put him over my lap and patted his back firmly and saliva was dripping out of his mouth. After about three attempts his colour came back. It was so scarey. I can't believe that only 2mls can nealry kill a baby (so to sound so dramatic but thats how it felt). I'm never using a syeringe again.

I just reread and realised it was his nose and mouth that went blue not his whole body and he is absolutley fine now.

Oh, God, GF3, sounds horrific (although thank God it was only nose and mouth - IYKWIM).

A few responses - apologies to anyone I miss out - London Ladies, and Hedgehog there's something up with my e-mail at the moment (hopefully a weekend thing) but I get the mails, just can't send any. Assume I'm happy with any plans being made, and if not, I'll text Penguin (if that's ok, Penguin!). Hedgehog are you in a hurry to hear my (positive) response? Also Makescakes I sent you an e-mail about prices etc last week, but you may not have got it. I think I gave you my mobile number in one of the e-mails!

Otherwise...on naming ceremonies, we're going to have a baptism, but still 'debating' (!) where to have it: London church where we got married and DH was organist; my chapel; Bangor cathedral (!!) where we go; or an alternative outdoor baptism at St. Seiriol's well on Anglesey (Iestyn Seiriol...). I'm keen to have a strong Welsh element in it, being Welsh and all, which is less likely in London.

Upsidedowncake - I was definitely a wetnurse in a previous life! I wonder if there's a history of wetnursing or something available to read? I once read a novel about a wetnurse. They were often girls who had lost their own baby - unbearably sad really. Mind you, in early Irish law the wetnurse had a special food allowance and was first at the communal cooking pot. (Pregnant women meanwhile were allowed to choose what they fancied - to satisfy cravings, possibly!)

Debs I bought locally because the Gwdihw products are made in Llangefni where I was born and bred! If desperate, I can pick up a pot of whatever you fancy and sort out posting it etc myself?

The garden - alas, nothing exciting but clearing a huge mess. Our strange neighbour planted russian vine (aka the devil's plant if you live next door to some) and it was choking all our garden and threatening our gutters and windows. So we were ripping that out, clearing the enormous amounts of weeds (including brambles!) and now we have empty flowerbeds for next year. It's an ok little garden, but so black and dark - it's the London clay!

There was something else too but I can't remember.

Essie - Ryder fed like mad yesterday, which I put down to the sun (and the hours in the hot car). Not sure what his excuse is today....think London Ladies are meeting 11am Thurs, venue TBA.

Debs - Wow....

Amber - Your poor sister. The three strikes rule is horrendous, I hadn't heard of that before. Glad you got some time to yourself without Luke. Although I don't necessarily want time away from Ryder I have found it has really helped when I'm down. I think that when they are around we are permanently on alert and we can only relax fully when away from them.

Debs - Wow! Will show DH, looks fantastic.

5GoMad - We visited my Stepdad on his farm yesterday, it was so beautiful. I am a little envious of the country life, but it would be such a culture shock to me after over a decade in London. Would like Essie's both of best worlds situation - altho I guess the travelling and constant relocation is a challenge in it's own right...

Upsidedown - I've got to give up gruel now...!? So unfair.

HedgeHog - What an awful night. We lived next to neighbours from hell before we moved and it's horrible isn't it? I hope that it was just a one off for you.

Paro - BF is sounding very hard for you ATM. No tips I'm afraid, but hope it gets better.

Feeling so much better today, not just about Mum, but overall. Yesterday was sad, but to be expected. But happy to confirm that over the last few days the crying for no reason seems to have stopped....

Laura - We don't know what to do re: christening/naming ceremony, etc. DH's family all in NZ and for me there's just a nephew and brother who would be able to attend anything - and no guarantees re: the nephew! I considered just letting people know that they were VIP's in Ryder's life via a party of some sort. I love the readings Sponge suggested and the idea of an afternoon tea is great.

GF3 - OMG, poor you. That sounds terrifying.

Megapost over...

Ok - the tears are back, thanks to Sponge's suggested readings! Particularly like this one. Makes the case for a cleaner final:

I hope my child looks back on today
And sees a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
But children grow up when you?re not looking.
Tomorrow I?ll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention.
So settle down cobwebs; dust go to sleep,
I?m cuddling my baby, and babies don?t keep.

ok Im in tears too! have printed it out going to keep it and give one to a friend who has been having a hard time wwith PND

BF today went so so but have tried expressing too and only getting 50ml 2oz at mo insead of normal 5oz wondering if Fleur is getting enough as its a struggle to make her last more than 2 hrs between feeds

Thinkng about introducing the FF earlier so from 8 to 4pm she will be formula as this is what will happen soon so why am i now beating myself up when i have to give up soon anyhow

Would appreciate any tips from those who mix feed, do you breastfeed and give FF or is it all bottles

Really struggling to believe it could be over as we were doing s well, fantastic latch and impressive weight gain (last 2wks no weight gain) but on other hand want to do best for fleur

G43 - oh poor you with calpol havent had to give Fleur any meds yet

Essie we wanted to sort our garden too, bouganvilla has suddenly died!! but we went to the beach instead

PP- Thanks, glad you are feeling better xx

Sorry PP, didn't mean to make you cry .

Some of those readings are real weepies though aren't they?

Penguin also crying - you've set us all off here!
Cleaner: we have one in London, and it's a 2 bed house ('house', but it's smaller than many flats!) It's really worth it, and means we spend time together rather than cleaning. We have a lovely Polish girl from an agency - I would recommend them (they probably cover your area). They only employ Polish girls, many of them don't speak English (good; I had an annoying, independent, cleaner before who wasted my time and hers chatting), and v. hardworking. She also irons DH's shirts.

Paro LOL at your bouganvilla - we have nothing in our garden. Not even weeds now!!

sponge I have emailed sis with your comments and I think she's feeling more postivie - thanks!

Luke's gone mental = is miserable and crying 80% of the day now. Extraorinarily hard work. He seems hungry all the time too - we were on 4 hours and now it's 3 maximum. Don't know what's happened although I tend to blame everything on growth spurts these days. In a few months I'll blame everything on teething . Basically I think I have spawned the most unhappy baby on earth - I thought they were meant to get easier!

para I'm ff feeding now but when i b/f tended to b/f for first feed/morning feed and top up for later feeds and give f/f for dream feed/ngiht feed

amber sorry to hear about luke - he could well be going through growth spurt.. also if having trouble sleeping its prob vicious circle as gets tired.. not long til the nanny is back is it?

had my mother round today -her enthusiasm for edie is very tiring but nice to see.

G43 - That sounds so frightening, thank god he is ok. poor you.

Paro - as I wrote about at great length over the past couple of weeks Jamie has also been on a nursing strike. He has been screaming at the breast and refusing to feed unless asleep and so oblivious. Apparently it is recognised as something that can happen around the three month mark. I totally sympathise as I found it incredibly distressing, especially as Jamie also refuses the bottle so he wasn't feeding at all. It has taken two weeks but things are starting to improve if slowly. We are now having a couple of feeds a day without the screaming which is such a relief. Hang in there, it will get better.

Amber, Jamie is also very unsettled today. I wonder if it is the weather? It is muggy and hot here while thundering and lightning.

sponge thanks for the link, will have a good read through!

whinegums glad you had a good break, we missed you too! we're still on for Friday, no change in plans. Buchanan Galleries does have some Parent and child spaces but everytime I've been so far they have been full of enormous 4x4s which look suspiciously shiny and child free. I've gone for the tactic of going to a higher floor where it's more empty and hoping no one parks next to me!

amber hope your sister has third time lucky, it must be so upsetting for you all.

paro i wondered where you were, hope that Fleur settles back into her old habits again soon.

sybil could well be weather... edie was nightmare in last heat bout (we werent at hoome where we have aircon in our room if all else fails)

Sponge - Don't worry, the tears weren't sad tears. It's hard not to cry when reminded how lucky we are to have our beautiful LO's.

Essie - Like the sound of your cleaner, I will get more details from you when we meet please. DH would love his shirts ironed, he does one for himself every morning. I can honestly say that I have not ironed a single thing since Ryder was born (10 weeks 2m). Yesterday I knew I'd be in a few photos, so DH ironed my jeans for me.

DramaQueen - How's your ironing going nowadays?

Amber - It's not just Luke. I don't know if it's the weather or their age but Ryder has been 'needy' recently. He no longer has different levels of crying, it's straight from babbling to full on screaming now. And he's needing a lot more attention not to cry. Previously if all his basic needs (dry, fed and not sleepy) were met, 90% of the time he'd be fine, now he needs alot more entertaining/distracting. DH has been able to do a lot of that this week, but I fear this week could be a tiring one....

Re: Mixed Feeding - Ryder has had formula a few times, including this morning. He probably has one bottle every two days, normally that bottle will be EBM, but occasionally it has been formula.

Hello,

Sorry it has taken me a couple of days to get back on the thread. Having just caught up on the posts I am feeling sad for quite a few of you: PP, G43, Paro, Amber and your sis, and anyone else who I have missed out. I don't think I can really do justice by writing seperate mentions for you, but you are in my thoughts.

Thanks for the well wishes prior to going into work on Friday. It was fine. Nice in fact. Avoided BF in front of the boys, just went to a coffee shop with my girlfriends, so no embarrassing nipple moments - phew. My boss's fabulous PA had booked my boss up with meetings for the whole afternoon, so she just stuck her head out of the office for a quick chat. I didn't get quizzed about plans for returning to work. It was funny as Peter stared very intently at her throughout her ramblings - she reckons he recognises her distinctive Canadian tones from when he was a bump. Also, you probably don't remember but back in about April I had a dilemma about a male colleague who had been ttc for two years, and I found being vastly pg in front of him a bit awkward Sponge and others offered me some supportive words. Well the great news is that my colleague's wife is now 13 weeks pg. I'm so pleased for them as my colleague is a lovely guy, and they got pg prior to IVF starting.

Peter fed all of yesterday afternoon too. I was getting quite desperate by 8pm and then he just conked out. Must have been the hot weather. Today he has been much more settled. He even went to sleep for an hour at 9am. I used the time to have my first bath in months. It was fantastic.

Peter also does weird screaming on and off the breast at some feeds. On Wednesday and Thursday last week he objected to my right breast, and I was beggining to wonder about whether there was something wrong with it. Over the weekend the RHS has been fine, and he has objected to the LHS. I have concluded that there is nothing wrong with either side and it's something to do with him.

We are off to Devon tomorrow morning for the week, so I probably wont get back to the thread until the weekend. I hope you all have better weeks. Take care everyone, I'll miss you.

Glad you managed to have a bath before your trip to Devon Allipalli - maybe that's why Peter was turning his nose up!! Only kidding!!

HI to everyone else, too tired to respond to everyone, last night was bad as I expected, 1.00 am, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00 feeds AARGH, then dh got up with him and I had a lie in!! It was like going back in time, everything's crossed for tonight!

We have to go and see the Foreign police tomorrow, since 2006 if you move to Austria from an EU country you have to go and register with the Foreign poilce, show them your earnings etc... to show you won't be sponging off the state, we moved here in 2005 so have never had to go but now that Ethan has been born we have to go and register him, what are they going to do - deport him if they say we don't have enough money? Ridiculous red tape, and I'm taking a good German speaking friend with me as they will only speak to you in German and don't make any allowances. Not looking forward to it, am hoping that Ethan plays up and if I have to bfeed in front of them they may cut down the interview!!

Wish me luck!

Ok a quick one because DH is nagging me to come to bed (no, not that though - sleep is our priority these days! ).
Ali and others - Iestyn also does random screaming at the breast. There's no pattern, but he's been doing it a lot today. I still panic about nipple confusion, but he's not consistently rejecting me. Sometimes he just needs to pull off and scream, and eventually goes back on and feeds properly. Very odd.

penguin DH always did his own shirt in the morning, and I can't remember why we asked the agency whether they ironed - maybe a random request from DH. Well, we haven't looked back! DH claims it's an extra 5 minutes in bed!

Well done Ali, and best of luck Debs.

I keep thinking of loads of responses then forgetting them!