<< lays out tiny nappies and babygros >> For TYG and SKYTV

[largeginandtonic]

Mornin!

Congrats to your sis Jam. Ouch, crossing legs at thought.

It was LG&T wot did it. So ner.

Ooh Jam let us know if she's ok. I'm not even asking what a poke is.

LG&T darling woman, you didn't need to expand at all in any way, shape or form. When did you, aherm, fit all this in? Was it before or after the 27th child? Crikey you're busy. I can't even finish chapter 4 of my novel.

Charley, you were a great help, honest but you'd do better to ignore me and help somebody with real problems. I'm pathetic really.

Wish I could go to the park. It's storm, storm, storm here.

If you're offering free sex advice LG&T, I have a question. It's about heterosexual sex though, is that too dull?

LG&T were you a porn star before becoming a mom?

SOH I refer you to the other thread stop dissing yourself woman.

Go on ask the question then I have one to ask as well.

Okay will go first. As AF made its return recently have decided there is a chance I may conceive again. When do you put the slippery thingumy thing on, at what stage? DH thinks just before penetration and I thought as soon as it raised it head in case there are any leaks.

Can you enlighten me as have not used them for 20 years and not sure. Not sure how useful it was as read the instruction (how romantic) and it said check date first and they expired in 12/06 I only bought them last week for heavens sake. Too embarrased to take them back to chemist and complain though.

Charley - dh calls it wanknet.

Am so excited by the food honesty. Was starting to think L was the only child that is allowed Milky Bar.

DH calls mumsnet placentadotcom. He likes to read over my shoulder though.

Not sure I should ask. I mean when I'm a famous novelist (har de bloody har), it'll all come out in the tabloids.

My DP calls it witches net!

Charly pop it on as soon as he is going to go inside otherwise you might get an Archie.

Come on SOH ask away whatever the question is.

CM-are you talking about condoms? You can put them on anytime after becoming erect. I prefer before penetration (not that I've used any recently, explains current condition).

MY dh doesn't know about MN. He thinks I look at porn.

MKG LOL

Seriously though, all he knows about the internet is that you can look at porn, so that is what he thinks I do.

PMSL at CM stalking me < peeps out of window > and at you thinking i am some sex guru.

No MKG not a porn star too shy, have you seen my body ( oh of course you have'nt you live feckin miles a way), not really for display purposes. Even before children.

Take them back holding G and demand more than your money back I say slip it on as soon as he gets anywhere near you, they can swim ya know! Even transfer on fingers.

Now next question please

< sits on black couch and lowers spectacles >

Thanks for the advice re the condoms.

DS likes chips and regularly has sweets often given by his sister or DH. Personally not a sweet/choccie fan but DH is very much so.

Go on SOH what is your question?

DH moans about MN but regularly reads over my shoulder and says we talk about more interesting things than his Hi-fi forum. No shit sherlock.

Is that all he does on the internet?

I mean clearly that is it's main purpose but MN is also very important.

I made the kids egg foo yong, was delish

See that's what I thought LG&T and if he is the adamant one then he should get it on asap.

MKG have to confess when DH bought an apple mac laptop I thought that was why he had bought it, portable and no viruses tadaa. When I smirked at him and said what are we looking at then he looked shocked and naively explained it had never crossed his mind to use it for that. Cue temporary embarasment from me and him suddenly realising the plus points of his purchase .

CM Dons beige mac and puts paper under arm to disguise herself from LG&T.

Hi- fi forum? Ooooh link it we can gatecrash

Never seen porn. DH not partial either. gawd, we're so grey here in Norfolk. DH reads home ed sites, downloads stuff (thanks MrLG&T!) like music and films and he talks to people on fb. That's it.

I've seen LG&T's body. She's got a tattoo.

Oral. Is it any good? Receiving I mean. I'm very generous but never got anything back (I run away).

God I'm embarrassed.

At never getting anything back!!!! Ohmigod you are SO missing out.

Shall i email PC Peak some material, learning purposes of course.

Gawd no, you misunderstand. He's happy to indulge. I don't let him. That's nearly a decade of distraction folks.

L refused the mashed potato my mum made her but ate a whole Onchan mousse.

Is she ill, do you think?

Oh fgs

Let him, lie back and think of rude things. You read alot invest in some soft porn novels, some are quite tasteful i believe. I could lend you a mag

Onken mousse yum, i could do with one of those. The choc brownies with raspberrys are not great after a few days. Will have to bake something else. May make millionaires shortbread. Hmmmmm

So back to the porn

OMG! I have nearly spat my kk all over the
laptop whilst reading the thread today!

Obv i am far too polite to make any comment to most of the posts today

Pink & TMAM i am so sorry that you are both going through this tough time.

PJ,I have been there myself twice now (after each baby). Dh and I got into several arguments over very silly things but they all stemmed from the lack of bd'ing. We eventually sat down and laid our thoughts and feelings on the table and each took on board the others comments and from there we were able to move on. We decided to go away (to London) for the weekend so that we could have some quality time together and time to just be us. We had nice meals planned and thought that with a little alcohol it might helps things...... dh thought that we would be at it both nights and was massively pissed off that it didnt happen. The stress of it made it so totally not enjoyable for me on the first night that i had no intention of it being like that on the second night so opted to just go to sleep. We had a massive argument the next morning about it. I told him how i had felt and that i was very disappointed as i had wanted it to be a perfect weekend away. From then on we opted not to plan any romantic weekends away where the sole purpose was to get intimate. We have figured that being spontanious is the best way....

Anyway thats enough of my drivvel on that! And i am sure that if a certain former friend of mine who posts on MN reads this that she will have a field day gossiping about it! but i dont care!

Congrats to your sis JAM, hope bubs is ok.

Lovely to see you SOH

Charley will happily send you some KK's, just drop me an email with your addy.

Happy birthday to Maddie (CAQL) hope she isnt getting too wet....

here we are