Jan '07 part 26: The Rule of Sibs: If your sibling gets something you want, you (1) try to take it; (2) break it; or (3) say it's no good

[2Happy]

The thread title is for the January babies who have become/are soon to be big brothers and sisters

Can't remember all from last thread except
Wilie congrats on the move and hope visit to vino goes broodily well
eandh - potty?!! Aleady?!! I'm only just getting there with ds1!!
DH - I went to a wedding on due date with ds1, but that was because I wanted him out. Alas, despite energetic ceilidhing, to no avail! Also went to Halifax for a wedding when about 38 weeks with ds2 (on Loosh's ds's bday in fact!), was a little nervous in case I went into labour so far from home, but didn't exactly expect to go early (just as well, eh?). But I guess is different if you're going for a c/s

Morning - what time did G go t sleep in the end LTH (H got up at 5.20 )

Wilkie/Gertrude - how are you both this morning I know what you mean re sleeping on sofa, dh manages to stay awake if he has football/seeing a mate but every other night asleep by 8pm He was still up at 1.30 watching tv and is still inbed and his dad will be here at 6.30 to pick him up but I am not waking him as he'll be in a foul mood

UD - Not sure re girl, I only had 1 day of nausea with Ellie (probably something I ate) and about a week with Hattie (probably dealing with with one of Ellies nappies or something)

My Dad coming round later and we're off to the cash and carry with the girls (woo I know how to live) and then need to go and collect parcel from PO (Hatties converses I hope) and then its the village summer fayre this afternoon (although its looking v.overcast)

Morning!

eah - are these the converses which you ordered from the link I posted earlier in this thread?

well, my idea of getting up nice and early to go to the next sale fell flat. I chose an hour lie in instead!
I work right next to next so may do battle at lunch time.
Really should get my arse in gear.

( 0 ) =

Finger out of arse emotion x

Good luck with the little tyke assembly LTH ( I never knew you had a sister just thought you had a brother!!)

Lizz - I was meant to go to next sale but since arsehead dh gone to golf I was not battling the place with E&H in tow

I am in a foul mood today and can't shift it, I know why and its something I need to sort out again but I know its going to end up going round in circles

No the converse are from ebay but BNIB so didnt mind buying them (I won them for £1.62 or something stupid bet they were gutted)

Well I am like this: this morning as dh got up with Z at 6:45, did the washing up, put a load of washing on, made Z breakfast, got him dressed and tidied up the front room. Wonders will never cease!

We were supposed to be going to a teddy bear's picnic today with Z's nursery at the park, but it's been bucketing it down, so think we'll give it a miss! We're going down to the IL's tonight, so hopefully get to go out tonight.

EAH - what's up chuck?

DH - again I am just fed up and its the same old reasons, I have asked him to stay at mates this weekend so I can think. I read another thread about how you know if you love someone and to be honest I am not sure I do love him anymore, just carry on with the day to day stuff because it needs to be done and for the girls but its not enough anymore

EAH - oh mate. That is not good. Am around this evening if you want a chat. Not sure what good advice I can give but am more than happy to offer a shoulder to cry on. Gertrude won't be about as she popped this morning so it will just be me!

UD - did aliens take DH do you think? Nice though

LTH - Nightmare! I hate it when J won't go to sleep although TBH he usually goes down OK but has a lovely habit of waking at ATM around 11pm just as I am nodding off to scream for an hour like a banshee

NEXT SALE - I sent dsis and mum to the sales for me with a list of what I needed DH was at work early and I couldn't face it with J!

Am getting nervous about picnic tomorrow! Hope it goes OK and doesn't fall flat. My BF from Lincoln is coming over today with her DS! Yey! Haven't seen them since beg of April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks mate - I dont know if its just the monotonemy of every day life, the fact that I do 95% of childcare because he is so feckin useless with them, we've been together 12years in a few weeks and just realised that he has hardly changed and still lives the life he wants to live (I have givenm up complaining about footie etc as he just sulks and I cant bear that) but my whole life has just stopped dead...I want to be ther oerson I was 10/12 years ago.

I am sure evertything will be fine with picnic, wish we could come

RIP Gertrude

EAH - what would it take to help you become that person you were 10/12 years ago? More free time? An evening out with some of your mates? Some more time with just you and dh?

I am a big fan of writing down everything you want so you can organise your thoughts. That way you don't end up getting sidetracked into random unrelated arguments!

Alas poor Gertrude I knew her well!

Will write down what I want later - good idea

Ellie decided shes sleeping at my parents tonight (will be easier in the morning for them if they can get her ready before heading to the port)

So just me and Hattie , I'm not sure what will make me that person, silly things like actually losing the baby/contentment weight, having a life (I am going out next Wednesday to cinema with Eddas to see Mamma Mia) but after the last incident with the drinking I don't feel comfortable leaving the girls with DH, I suppose 10/12 years ago I had a full time job, loads of disposable income etc etc no ties, I wouldnt swap the girls for the world but its such bloody hard work especially with the summer holidays and the fact Ellie is such a pain in the arse is a very wearing/challenging child, Hattie gone back to getting up between 5 and 5.30 so everyday I am snapping at them by 9am.

DH has it easy working full time, he comes home and either sees them for an hour (and I'll still do baths/bedtime because Ellie doesnt want him to put her to bed) so he sits on sofa, then I'll come down cook dinner, clean up etc and he'll either fall asleep or do what he wants, but to be honest I prefer it when he isnt here

Most of all its the drinking with him, I've joined al-anon which is for peopel affected by other people who drink, last night he drank bottle wine and 4/5cans of beer so absolute no use to me when Hattie woke and then he starts texting people crap (invited someone round for bbq on sunday, text his mate to say he loves him and his kids etc) makes himself look like an idiot as they text back asking if he is drinking, he just doesnt seem to have an 'off' button and binges, that I suppose is what it all boils down to. I am falling out of love with him because he puts drink before me and the girls and to be honest its not a pretty sight, he's 34 going on 17 and he cant handle his drink and gets all mouthy, igronant, knows everything about everything and then spouts complete and utter bullshit to anyone who'll listen/read his texts

Sorry that tuned into a huge rambly post

Does he have a golden halo LTH, Dh reckons he knows so much when in reality he doesnt (ffs he doesnt even know who our mortgage is with and how much we pay because I have to deal with all finances as well)

I reckon I could do a better job on my own, even looked into tax credits and I'd get £5500 per year between ctc and wtc, 25% of my council tax, he'd have to pay me £500 a month maintenance and I could just about to afford to keep the house

EAH - i worked out i'd be a lot better off without dh (financially) as well. Mad isn't it?

I know you don't feel comfortable leaving the dd's with dh (and i don't blame you at all) so maybe you could leave them with your parents or IL's?

I guess what you have to decide is if you're willing to live separate lives in the same house, and let him get on with it or whether you draw a line, tell him he sorts himself out or fucks off and you get on with it on your own. I know you could cope on your own - you're an amazing mama and you have fantastic support from your family (little bit !!)

If you want to shed your baby weight you need to stop having so many takeaways!! Is it worth getting dh to cook the tea while you do bedtimes as well? I always cook the tea while Ali puts Z to bed - he has milk downstairs with me and then stories and cuddles upstairs with Daddy.

I dunno - it's not so long ago I was in your position, and it's horrible. But we found it very useful to sit down and actually talk to each other - with a written down list between us - and things are much better now. I don't know whether it'll stay like that but it's maybe worth a try? Just depends on whether you actually want to save a relationship with this man or not!!

Took me ages to write that - I'm currently being attacked with a plastic spoon and an empty yoghurt pot! Do you think my child might want some attention??

Lol at the plastic spoon attacker

I am going to start weight watchers again, I have all the books etc and I did it before and can do it again.

I am so lucky with my family support and I just need to decide what I want and whats best for me and the girls and tbh what dh wants comes a long way down my list of priorities.

Hattie just woken up from her nap so am off to play with them both for a bit

Aw EAH, just relogged back on and am so for you. I also think part of the problem is that you met so young and you are not the person you were when you met - it sounds like you have grown up and he just hasn't.

Back in a bit...

Hello, had a long think thios afternoon and did lots of writing down (Hattie was making me pretend cups of tea whilst I was doing that and being super cute as getting lots of attention as Ellie not here)

DH popped in and we ended up rowing (he was winding ellie up about the boat tomorrow and she'll think he is telling her the truth) so I asked him to go again, he then text to say could he come back (found out that his mate he went to wife wasnt very well so doubt she wanted him there getting pissed with her dh)

He is being snappy (obviously because he had 3hours sleep last night - my problem NOT!) So I have said I am not prepared to talk at the moment, I put Hattie to bed and had a bath and just put dinner in the oven.

I had left my list on table and saw him looking at it, and he said 'I'll take H swimming tomorrow' (think he read the bit about me not trusting him with them) but tbh I'm not bothered if he does or not as it'll be nice to have some time with her on her own.

I had printed of all the al-anon stuff and he asked what it was and looked when I said I had joined it. So I am sitting in lounge with tv on and on here and he is in playroom watching tv and for tonight I think thats the best thing for both of us

FFS - WHy won't DJ sleep!
I have sooooooooooo much to do this evening, and am knackered, and he is wide awake still. Its driving me nuts.
He's drunken about a pint of milk, had 2 huge meals today and been to the park twice. I don't understand!
Why does it always happen when DP is on a night out?!

Eah - Massive hugs. Maybe he just needs a wake up call? Does he have any good points at all? (DIY/sense of humour etc etc)
Would it be possible to organise a weekend away for the 2 of you somewhere? Would time alone just the 2 of you help? x

Lizz - poor you re DJ,because he is up late will he let you have a lay in tomorrow?

dh does have few good points - he does work very hard (long hours etc but has got interview next week for another company)

He can be funny and we can have a real laugh but just doesnt seem to happen alot anymore

He is fab with Ellie when its just them (struggles with having 2 of them)

We have so much going on between now and when we go to disney in september, I think we have 2 weekends free but am saving all £'s for disney as want to be able to enjoy that without worrying about money

He has been in and said sorry for being an arse today but I'm to tired to sort it now.

On a positive note Hattie seems to have developed 7 new words this afternoon, funnily enough after Ellie had gone , she kept saying uh-ee (Ellie) and pointing at the door and when I said she was at Nannys she went to a photo of my mum and dad and said nana and grandad. When she was calling me earlier I said 'in here' and she repeated it so clearly. Finally when I took her to bed she went in Ellies room and pointed at her bed and said 'gone'

EAH - how are things? He's obv thinking things over.

Do you want to save the relationship or do you just feel it has run his course?

Are his/your parents aware of the extent of his drink problem?

his mum and dad were aware of the problem prior to E being born (in fact his mum frog marched him to Drs as it was alot more serious then) my parents dont know but tbh my Dad would flip and Mum is a hard woman to please and she doesnt forgive easily

I am not sure what I want to do, I certainly dont want to think that we'll still be in this situation in 20years time but not sure what/if anything will ever change his behaviour permanetely. I suppose because I dont drink I dont understand the enjoyment you get out of drinking.

Ohhhhh poo I dont know, think I need to stop thinking about it for now.

So whats everyone else up to, anyone seen ratbunny around?

rgee - tues o, will have another friend here katie and her ds same age as p&e (i met her aquanatal). She is 37 weeks pg and her dh works long days (another one!) mon and tues. Happy for you to both to be here tues or come on weds if you want to see just me.

e&h - big hug sent to you, think wilkie hit the nail on the head in saying that you have grown up and dh hasn't. only you can decide whats best. maybe if dh willing to address drinking that could be the first step before you make a big decision.

wilkie - know just waht you mean about dh's and their busy jobs. Its me who gets up when e wakes at 5 despite having been up with sylvie in the night so that dh isn't worn out at work, then he pi**es me off by going on about how tired he is. i let him go to cricket today with mates from home who had come over to leeds, dropped him off at 10am and he is still out. he will have spent money on booze that we haven't got spare but has sent me a text thanking me letting him have today.

A friend on my estate came round with her dd for lunch then went to park and played back here afterwards.

Mrs C - we use a stairgate on e's bedroom now, just a trvael one so its only there at night but it has doen the trick. I hope!

2happy - you are right re RL and Mn friends. Its easy to be open online. I only post on this thread and look at for sale now and again, no time for mroe and no patience with other people.

DH - hope you are managing ok. how much longer to go?

I don;t feel pretty at the moment which sounds silly but its becuase of my hair! I had it long before ellen then had it cut much shorter cos fed up of drying it, now want it long again but its all layered and won;t tie back neatly. Need to get all my pre preg clothes out and see whats ok. I haven;t unpacked it since we moved.

i should really be sleeping cos S is asleep but got a few bits to do online. Will prob not get round to any of them though

Lizz i don;t know why but it really amused me that you came up with DIY as a suggested good point. I can't stop chuckling!!!

vino - I'd love it if my Dp was a DIY whizz. His Dad is fab at it. But he is still learning!

Finally, DJ is down, after I must have sung the Cbeebies "good night" song about 20 times.

I very much doubt I'll get a lie in tomorrow. He'll be up and about early doing his racing car noises etc.

Eah - Well done H at new words. I exclaimed "dckhead!" at a boy racer who sped past us yesterday afternoon. DJ repeated with great clarity, "Dckhead"....oops!

God I would kill for some chocolate right now.
am off to finish painting my pirates treasure chest which I'm making for a mates DD's pirate party (lucky dip) am so chuffed it may look quite good!