May 2007 - They are off and running, wobbling and falling down again.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread needed.

Good morning everyone!

SOH--Don't feel bad for swearing at my dh. I do it all the time.

Well thankfully I have my aunt's car until she comes back from Peru at the end of August. So now we have time look for a good car. I'm just happy to have some wheels. I did not like getting up at 5 to take dh to work.

This pregnancy is different from the others so far. I have more energy and I'm less hungry [prays for girl emoticon]

Hi ladies, the scan didnt go well, the baby is in the right place but is very tiny (only 7.5wks) and the heartbeat is very weak, they dont expect it to make it, I have to go back in 2 weeks regardless of whether I have miscarried or not but tey think it likely, they will check what has happened and see if I decide to go for a d&c, thay said the chances of all being ok at that appt are very unlikely. I am soooo gutted, I cant stop crying, why the fuck to I have to go through this again, another baby I have let down

Stop right there Lups, you have not let this baby down! It has a heartbeat, albeit a weak one so there for is still alive. You are very petite and lets face it so are your kiddies you are hardly going to have a whopper! 7.5wks, how many did you think you were? Great news on bubs being in the right place. Please keep thinking positively and you know where i am if you need a chat. Sending you very strong sticky baby dust xxx

Hello everyone.... have had a quick skim, sorry to not read properly. AM's round up was great.

SOH, hope you feel better soon, so cute for M in her own bed.

TYG, norty S, you are a great Mam though. J loves her growbag, but it is so hot here!

PJ Try to chill and enjoy, you'll be back to the bump and grind before you know it.

LG&t Poor Beau. How is his egg head today?

Lups, good luck today!

Scoot, keep persevering wih L. Remember be cosistent!! Do not confuse her, she'll crack it in no time.

Things not good here. I am so desparate to get out of this house, I have taken to driving the car round the villages endlessly with the 3 kids on board just to be on our own and out of the house. I can't afford to take them nice places every day and do not want to be at home. Mum was VERY upsett when I talked to her this morning about our decision. She said she was coming with us as we could not leave her with Dad. (she was joking) I hope. It is not simple though. Property can take years to sell here, especially a house like ours! A & I can not afford to buy. We would not get a mortgage on A's earnings. We have a tiny amount of savings left. All M&D's money is tied up in equity in the house, they can not afford to run this house without our rent. We would get a very small amount of the sale for our bit that we have put into it but barely enough to sort out our move and the things that we would need as a result of not sharing anymore. ie. Washing machine, fridge freezer, tractor/trailer for A to work and other things. Propertys to rent are far and few between in this rural location. I don't want to move far, the kids are so happy at school here and we have some friends around. Things will become clearer in time I'm sure but at the moment I just don't know what to do or how I am going to make it through the summer here. I can't stop crying, I just want it sorted, I want to be a family again, just the 5 of us. Most importantly thoguh if we don't do this soon, we risk ruining the relationship we have with Mum and Dad and I don't want that at all. We don't want to come back to the UK, we do love it here in France.

Sorry to waffle but I don't really have anyone else to tell.

Lups sweetie, x-posted, AM is absolutly right, you have not let anyone down. Just be positive, what will be will be, you can't change it and you always said it wouldn't be an easy ride. Stay strong, we are all here for you. big ((((hugs)))) and more sticky stuff heading your way. xx

Lupins--I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Try not to lose hope yet. They can tell you what might happen, not what will happen.

MKG, glad you have a car sorted for a bit.

Lups that is so true to what MKG said. Just hang on in there and see what happens.

Thanks ladies but I know its going to be over, I've been through worse and I'm strong, I just feel really beaten up at the moment, what an emotional rollercoaster from not knowing what to do, to telling dp and being pleased and looking forrward to this mess, I feel stupid for letting myself get taken along with it, going to get dp to pick up my wonderful dc's in a mo and give them a big cuddles

Lups, I'm so sorry they didn't give you more positive news. I'm thinking of you. x

Mrs JB, I'm under the impression you live in a really big house, is that right? Is there some way of temporarily making it feel like two separate homes? I know it's not the answer you're looking for right now, but it might make you feel like you have a bit more space until the right solution comes along. Keep talking to your mum about it. As long as you're discussing it, you're not falling out over it.

Lups I'm so sorry to hear your news. It must be a shock to hear, but I can only echo what the others say, you most certainly have not failed any of your babies, whatever may happen or have happened before. We are all here for you and we shall all try to help you keep positive. It's not over til its over.

Lups - I'm so sorry it was bad news . You have not let anyone down

Lups you have not failed anyone least of all your babies. Stay strong as I know you are. I am sending you loads of positive vibes. Take care of yourself and give your little ones a big squeeze. I always find that it helps.

Quick wave to everyone, am off work as have had terrible upset stomach yesterday/today. Am ringing round all the crap places that have let me down ie IKEA missing cushions off sofa bed, M&S 6 months to deliver furniture, kitchen supplier who brought me the wrong sink. I could go on.

Thank heavens for handsfree phones that you can take to the bathroom.

Tis good to be living here now though although we are reluctant to do work on it now we are in as we have lost the motivation to get it ready to move IYSWIM. Will post some pics when have done all my jobs.

Lupins, so sorry to hear your news. Don't believe that you've failed, though.

Thanks for the round up AM.

Lups my love you mustn't think like that. It's a horrid, crappy, devastating thing to lose a baby but not a thing you can control, cause or prevent. Some people struggle with pregnancy, others with childbirth, others with parenting. You are very, very good at the ones you have control and choice over and that's a wonderful thing. W and A have an instinctive, loving mummy who finds the pg bit hard for a reason beyond her control. I will hope and pray for the next scan.

MrsJB, I agree with Cam. Can you find a way of living separately within the one home just for now? What about a really radical solution like renting separately and doing up the chateau as a holiday home?

We have been out to a lake near by, the sun is shinning, the kids have had a great time. I had time on my own to think. You are right, we have to and can make do and can live this out for as long as we need to, will get our names down at the letting agents in the next few weeks and hopefully pick up a winter let sept/oct time. I have to learn to be patient and understanding.

TYG, we do live in a big (ish) house. It is as separate as we can make it as we have pretty much renovated it from scratch in the 4 yrs we have been here. We have our own, living/eating/sleeping/bathroom space but share a kitchen and a front door and a garden a drive and the childrens noise and any thing any of us wants to do goes by everyone, everything anyone buys, everyone knows how, where, when and why, every thing a&i do with the kids is commented on/advice given etc.....they are not doing it nastily, Mum always think she is helping and sometimes she is (A thinks she's an interfering MIL), Dad is often a miserable old git that I don't want to talk to or even look at alot of the time but I love him dearly and the children are besotted with Grandad, whatever his mood.
We are not rowing, don't get me wrong, I for one would not allow it, especially infront of the children. I am having to work hard biting my tounge as every little tea cup left around, comment made, miserable face, tut at the children is grating me now. It is just time to do something about it before we do get to the fall out stage. I am just upset that it has come to this though, probably silly of me to think it wouldn't at 30yrs old with our own family. I am not a teenager anymore!! LOL

SOH your really radical soloution is a great idea if we had some money but sadly we don't. It is all tied up in the equity of the house it has to be sold eventually. Hopefully though we can all still live near, maybe even the same village just be able to shut our own doors and not hear each others every move. I'm sure it will work out in the end.

Lups, how did DP take the news? You hug those adorable kiddies tight, they have a wonderful mummy and need you to hold them tight. xx

Lups that must have been such a shock for you. They don't know everything from a scan, it could turn out differently. You must look after yourself in the mean time and stop blaming yourself! It is not your fault, there is nothing you can do. How do you feel now, what are the symptoms like? Do you think it tallied with the dates you had in your head? You will be ok, we are all here for you

MrsJB it will all be exacerbated by the fact you have all the children with you at home for the summer. It is so hard to think clearly about anything when they are all charging round. It will be making you feel out of routine and unsettled too. I hope you find a way to sort it all out. Any chance you can extend your stay in the UK for a break?

SOH good to see your non delirious self back How sweet that she trotted in with her little blanket for morning hugs, she is adorable. I am also sure that in time you will have another gorgoeus baby, you have got through alot in this last year. I would be very sad to think of you never doing it all again. I want to be at the next one!

I have been at Paultons Park all day with the toddlers day out. It was really hot and sunny and am now knackered. Hugs has gone all croacky! He seems ok though.Probably just tired.

Hello everyone else >

MrsJB, that is tough going and not an easy way to live. I think you are being incredibly grown up and diplomatic about the whole thing. Look at the positives from your experience, the grandparents seeing the kids grow up, doing up a wonderful huge old house, learning a new language and culture and celebrate all that you have achieved. Only you and A will know when it is the right time to move on, people and families grow and change and therefore your environment needs to change to suit you, don't feel bad about it, I'm sure your parents will understand in the long term. It will be tough for all of you at the beginning, but you guys are so strong and love a good challenge. I'm sure something brilliant to rent will come up and things will work out.

LG&T, worry not, DH has signed a contract. If I ever get knocked up by him again then your presence at the birth is first on a list of unquestionable demands.

Still feel like crap, have a stinking headache feel emotionally drained, my mum is trying to convince me that it would be a good idea for my dad to still come to mine for a holiday i told her the last person I want "holidaying" is my dad, that would be lovely I could be in the throws of a mc and I have my dad to amuse - she was adamant it was a good idea!!!

thanks for all being here "again" it really means so much

Hello all, just catching up quickly.
Lups, so sorry to hear your scan was not a happy event. Like others have said, you never know what could happen.
MrsJB I agree, you are being very diplomatic about your situation. I think i would have killed my dad by now if I had to live with him with my kids. There is only so much 'advice' you can listen to.
I hope all the little ones are well. R is a real cheeky monkey now. She is STILL not walking and not in the lsightest interested in it. She is talking loads and says so many words. She had her MMR last week and came away relatively unscathed.
I am on Weightwatchers at the moment and have just been to my weigh-in. I had lost 1.5lb this week so feel chuffed with myself - espcially as dh and I went out for tapas on Saturday and it's impossible to count the points on that! Anyway, I have lost 9.5lb so far and I've only been going 3 weeks. I feel really pleased with myself. I think a little exercise on the Wii is helping!!

Well done abby on the weight loss, I know how hard it is. I have been even craper than usual since giving up smoking.
Believe me I'd like to kill him sometimes abby. Mum has been very sucky since this mornings conversation, she is trying hard to be my best friend again. I do feel bad at the prospect of leaving her with Dad, he really is hard work most of the time. I hope I don't age like that.

Lups... maybe your mum just thinks a visit from your dad may take your mind off things. I can see it may not be the best time though, you do what you need to. You time is important for a bit.

Ow. Did an excruciating wee whilst out today, so got seen as an extra patient by a GP this evening and now on antibiotics. Doh. Should have gone with first instincts! GP sending off my sample to the lab to have it double checked.

Poor DD1 got sunburned on her face at sports day. I had it in my diary as tomorrow. Not that I was supposed to be there or anything, they don't have parents at it; just that I would have made sure she had cream with her if I'd known. They reminded them on Friday about it apparently, but of course I'd kept her off because I was sick.

She's being very nice. DH even thinks she feels bad and stupid about what she did at the weekend and he usually says I give too much benefit of the doubt and assume the best, rather than the worst.

ABBY well done on the weight loss

TYG glad you got seen and things will be on the mend, doh with the suncream blame it on the pg brain lol!

Kids had me up half the bloody night, A has gone from being the perfect little boy to a hoooodlem he can be a real nightmare at the moment, dd is being a little angel but she woke up feeling sick, i am going to get her wee checked again just to be on the safe side

Sorry Lups..wish it had been better news..Whatever happens is not your fault.You've no more control over it at this stage than you have over the weather..I know it doesnt feel like that, but honestly its true.You are a great Mum.

You are being very adult Mrs JB..Much more than I could be.Could ypour parents not take in paying guests if you guys moved out?Till they could sell the house at least?Might ease the finances if nothing else?

Well done on the weight loss Abby/I will practice on the wii then we could play each other interactively (think you can do that)Whats your poison?Im rubbish at Tennis, but very good at the bowling!

TYG..Will be passing yours tomorrow at about 12.30 ish so could call for frocks if youa re in and dont mind a visitor?

Hi to Charley..glad hosue is coming on..hurry up with the pics already!

And Hi Tilly..

AM..email me your new addy love, want to send you something..

DH apologised last night..of sorts.We are still forced to go on 'holiday' en famille however so I am still Plus he only said he was sorry I was upset, rather than sorry he has done something so outrageous..so it doesnt count in my book.. >>Scoot wanders off to check prices on holidays for one to the Maldives